The Heroes Parody Project
by Spencer44
Summary: This week: The final chapter of the volume/story. Peter is trapped in a time rift, Fox is back and has Noah, Elle, and Mohinder held at gunpoint, hell is about to break loose and Nathan and co. are thrown in the middle of it.
1. Over The Edge

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 1: Over The Edge

Disclaimer: 'Heroes', characters, events, uh….powers I guess, and everything else is copyright 'NBC' and stuff. Any other things were made up, any similarities from any characters, events, locations, uh….powers…..and anything else is purely coincidental. No Kryptonite was harmed in the filming of this episode….though Superman was. Disclaimer Over!

Mohinder: _What is life?_..._Why are we here?_..._Why do we dream?_..._Is this our purpose_?..._Every day we live life not knowing what it's all for_. _But we don't take time to think about our reasons for being_….._we just 'live'_……._that's why we've been put here, right?_..._If that's the case, tell me_…….._Why 'are' we here?_..._What is the meaning of it all_?...

Guy: Hey, do you mind? I'm trying to eat my lunch here. I can't concentrate with you blabbing on about philosophical crap. _Who are you talking to anyway?_

Mohinder (sitting next to some guy at _Wendy's_): I'm not bothering anybody. Go back to eating your sandwich.

Guy: Hmph!

Mohinder: _What is the meaning of life?_..._What is the meaning of love?_..._Why are we so determined to answer life's many mysteries_….._when we our mysterious ourselves_…….

Guy: Seriously! Dude, I really want to finish my lunch!

Mohinder: You know what? _You are being extremely rude!_ Me and my sexy voice are trying to finish one of my_ universal monologues_ which are crucial to the plot! And you are just…..ruining everything! Good day to you sir!

Mohinder gets up and walks off, he then returns to the table.

Mohinder: You know what? _I'm not going to let you finish your french fries!_

Guy: _But I just had them 'Biggie Sized!'_

Mohinder: Good!

He swipes them and storms out.

Guy: Man…..what a jerk!

Peter Petrelli stands on the edge of a rooftop, looking to the ground below. Upset that he completely forgot his powers.

Peter: I have to get my powers back somehow, and save the world. Since that's what I do best. And the best way for me to accomplish this is by starting from scratch on this very rooftop.

Guy (standing next to Peter): _Who the hell are you talking to?!_ I just met some whack-job at Wendy's who talked to himself too! Is everyone in this city crazy?

Peter: Okay, take a deep breath; you can do this Peter…..

Michael Jackson hops from out of nowhere.

Michael (wearing 'Peter Pan' outfit): Yes you can, Peter! All you have to do is _believe_……._BELIEVE!_

Peter: Shut up! I can do this myself!

He shoves Michael Jackson off the roof of the building. He goes hurling to the ground, shattering into a million pieces.

Peter: Ooooh. That looked like it hurt. I hope I can pull this off.

Peter takes a deep breath and steps off the ledge…………._SPLAT!_

---As the world turns………_Heroes!---_

_Claire Bennet  
Age: Teenage-ish  
New York City, New York  
Current Favorite Band: The White Stripes_

Claire walks out of her school and is on her way home, she passes an apartment building with this week's chapter on the side:

_CHAPTER 1: OVER THE EDGE_

Old Man (yelling out the window): Muriel!...Muriel!...Those damn kids put graffiti on the building again!

Claire is practically skipping home from school; everything is going pretty well for her. Right up to the point where she skips into oncoming traffic and comes head on with a bus. _WHAP!_

Bus Driver: Oh my god! I just killed that cheerleader! _I'm always doing that!_

The driver jumps out of the bus and runs to Claire's twisted, bloody body in the middle of the intersection.

Bus Driver: Girl! Are you okay!

Claire (getting up): Yeah…….uuuugh……I'm fine, just a scratch!

She pops her arm into place; the bus driver looks as if he's going to lose his lunch.

Claire: No worries. Gotta run!

Claire continues to skip away.

Bus Driver: Man, I'm going to get it now….

The bus driver sadly walks on the bus and resets his '_Days gone without running over Cheerleaders_' counter back to '0'. He drives off. Claire continues to skip home, stopping at the community bulletin board on her way.

Claire: Hmm….What's this I wonder…

She grabs a flyer which reads '_Young Superstar Contest! Exploit your young child for money and fame! First Prize: $20,000!_...maybe…..

Claire: Wow! This sounds like fun. I'm sure my dad won't have a problem with it. He'll love the idea!

At the Bennet Residence.

Noah Bennet: _That doesn't sound like fun. I have a problem with it. I hate the idea!_

Sandra Bennet (Claire's mom): But Noah, we have to get Mr. Muggles to the massage parlor! Can't you see he's clearly stressed!?

Noah: Uh……no, not really. Anyway, back to Claire's request: _No, I have a problem with it. I hate the idea!_

Claire: Oh, please dad? This is all I ever wanted in life!

Noah: Really? Is that so? You said the same thing about Cheerleading, Tennis, Badminton, and Chess……_and don't even get me started on chess!_

-FLASHBACK-

Chucky: Okay, Claire. I'm moving my Queen over here……and Checkmate! I win!

Audience Member (screams): _Oh my god! That girl swallowed a Bishop Piece!_

Claire was sprawled on the floor, her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she was choking to death.

-END FLASHBACK-

Noah: It took _five hours_ to remove that piece. How nobody got suspicious was nothing short of a miracle.

Claire: That was just a fluke. But anyway, please dad? I really, really want this!

Noah: I'll have to think about it….

Claire: Really!?

Noah: No.

Claire: 'No' as in I can't do it; or 'No' as in you won't think about it?

Noah: Both.

Claire: But how can you say 'No' to me doing it when you won't think about it?

Noah: I'll think about it.

Claire: And?

Noah: No.

Claire: 'No'…..meaning?

Noah: You can't do it, period!

Claire scoffs and storms up to her room.

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
Some Hospital in New York City  
Peter could go for a hamburger  
Nathan isn't very hungry_

Peter opens his eyes; he is in a hospital bed.

Peter: Where…..Where am I?

Nathan (flipping though a magazine): You're in the hospital; you almost killed yourself again when you jumped off that stupid building!

Peter: Well, Nathan. I forgot my powers; I have to get them back! The world is at stake!

Nathan: You know _mom_ isn't going to buy that!

And with that, their mother, _Angela Petrelli_, comes storming down the hallway followed by _Storm Troopers_. With the '_Star Wars Imperial March'_ theme playing, respectively.

Doctor: Where the hell is that music coming from?

Nurse: I don't know, doctor. It's freaking the patients out!

The door to Peter's room flies open, Angela enters.

Angela (to Storm Troopers): _Will you people stop following me!?_

She shoves them out and slams the door.

Angela: Peter……Peter, Peter, Peter………How could you do this?

Peter: Do what?

Angela: Try to kill yourself again. I find it to be very rude!

Peter: I wasn't trying to….

Angela: And with everything the way it is now. So many problems with the world. You would do something like this….

Peter: I wasn't trying to kill myself. And besides, like it would matter because I do have the power _to regenerate._

Angela: You 'did' have that power. But until you get it back, you're just another person.

Peter: -Sigh-

Angela (sitting at his bedside): Peter, you know I love you. _In fact I've told you many times I like you better than your brother_…..oh, hello Nathan, _I didn't see you there!_

Nathan: Oh, thanks!

Angela: But it is important that you get your powers back, but don't do it by jumping off buildings!

Peter: I'm going to do whatever it takes…..and you can't stop me.

Angela: Well, if you're going to be like that you have left me no choice……_I'm going to ground you!_

Peter: WHAT?!

Angela: And if you smart off to me again, I'll take away _your videogames!_

Peter: Not that!

Nathan rolls his eyes.

At the Bennet House, Noah and Sandra were sitting on the couch. Claire walks in with some man.

Noah: Uh…..

Sandra: Oh, hello Claire. Who is your much older friend?

Claire: This is Tom; he's a part of the Talent Agency.

Noah: Here we go…..

Sandra: What is this about?

Claire: Tom saw me walking down the street and offered me a gig as a spokes model for _Prissy Girl Razors_…….

Tom: Yes. We'll have Claire dress up as a cheerleader in the commercial, that way we can use this tagline….._Shave The Cheerleader_….._Shave The World_……..with _Prissy Girl Razors_!

Noah: That sounds _completely inappropriate_.

_Mohinder Suresh, Matt Parkman, and The Travelocity Roaming Gnome_….._Oh wait, it's just Molly Walker_.  
_Apartment Complex_  
_Afternoon-ish_

The three of them are standing outside their new home, a different apartment complex.

Mohinder: This is wonderful! This new apartment will be great place to conduct some of my research! Oh, and my voice monologues! It will be _extraordinary_…..oh, how I love that word….._extraordinary_….and how it sounds coming from my _sexy voice!_

Matt: I don't know, Mohinder. Do you think it will be a good place to raise Molly?

Mohinder: I don't see why not…..(He takes out a pamphlet)…The schools are nice, there's a park around the corner…….hmm, _there's an insane asylum_…..that doesn't sound safe. Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing.

Molly tugs on Parkman's coat. She cannot speak because somehow her _mouth got glued shut_.

Matt: What is it Molly?

Molly: Mmmm, mmmrrr, mmmmmnrmmmnr!

Matt: What? I don't understand you! Oh, how I wish I knew what you wanted!

Mohinder: Did you forget that you can _read minds_, you doofus!?

Matt: Oh, right. Heh, heh……

Matt squints at Molly, locked in full concentration.

Molly (thought): _I need to go to the bathroom!_

Matt: YES! She needs to use the restroom! See, I'm a good father. _I don't care what Dr. Phil says_. Though I have no idea how your mouth got glued shut.

Molly (though): _It was from that sandwich!_

Matt: Sandwich?

-FLASHBACK: YESTERDAY AFTERNOON-

Matt: Molly! Lunch is ready!

Matt is making her a turkey sandwich.

Matt: Okay, where is the mayonnaise?

Matt reaches across the counter and accidentally grabs a _bottle of Elmer's Glue_, which for some stupid reason was placed _right next to the jar of Miracle Whip_.

Matt: I just love how mayonnaise comes in these _easy to squeeze _containers!

He squirts glue all over the bread, spreading it out with a knife.

Matt: Excellent! See, I'm a good cook, _I don't care what Emeril Lagassee says_. Molly, your lunch is ready!

Molly runs out of her room and sits at the table, taking a giant bite of her _Glue Sandwich_. _CHOMP!_

-END FLASHBACK-

Matt: Uh…..

Mohinder: So, did you figure out how she did that to herself?

Matt: UH……Nope! Not a clue……..-Whistles suspiciously-……

_The Bennet Family  
The Bennet House  
Eating Bennet Food_

Claire is eating dinner at the table, sitting across from Noah. Sandra made _Shake and Bake_, and Lyle didn't help because that would not be cool.

Sandra: So, how was everybody's day today?

Noah: Good. It's nice to be living normal lives….with my normal family.

Sandra: Yes. _And how was your day Mr. Muggles?_ (High pitched voice) _It was wonderful Mrs. Bennet! I just love what you've done with your hair!_

Noah: Uh…..sort of…..

Claire: I'm going to be a spokes model!

Sandra: Oh, that's wonderful, Claire!

Noah: No, she's not. I told her 'no' already….

Sandra (disappointed): Oh _Claire, how could you?_

Claire: It's something I want to do…._dad!_

Sandra: Oh, I'm so proud of you, Claire!

Noah: I forbid it….._Claire Bear!_

Sandra: Claire, _you're grounded for the next 20 years. Go to your room!_

Claire: I'm not a child….._dad_! I can make my own decisions!

Sandra: Oh, that's our girl! She's growing up so fast!

Noah: You're still a kid. And while you're living under our roof, you will abide by our rules!

Sandra: Uh….._who am I rooting for again?_

Lyle: Can somebody _please _pass me the potatoes?

Claire: That is it! I have had enough!

Noah: Is that so?

Claire: This ends tonight!

Claire and Noah hop up out of their chairs, throwing the table out of the way. Food goes flying everywhere.

Sandra: AHH! _My Shake and Bake!_

The father and daughter pull out their _Light Sabers_.

Lyle sits in his chair, his fork inches from his mouth while Claire and Noah clash their weapons in an epic battle! Claire snaps out of her daydream……

Claire: Man, that was weird………Where was I?

Noah: Your mother was talking about her wonderful day with Mr. Muggles while I was destroying all your hopes and dreams of making something of your life.

Claire: Well……dad…….I won't have it! _THIS ENDS TONIGHT!_

Claire and Noah knock over the table again, drawing out their Light Sabers.

Sandra: AHHH! _My Shake and Bake!_

Lyle: I'm never going to get any potatoes…..

Peter and Nathan walk out of the Hospital.

Nathan (putting on his coat): So Pete, are you going to get some rest now?

Peter: Sure.

Nathan: I'm sure you'll get your powers back soon. But don't kill yourself doing it, okay?

Peter: I know. Trust me, brother, I will never do something as stupid as that…..ever again……

10 Minutes Later.

Peter (back on the rooftop): Okay……let's try this again.

He pulls out a video camera.

Peter (talking into the camera): _My name is Peter Petrelli_….._and this is attempt number 6._

Peter sets the camera down as he looks down to the ground below. He takes a deep breath.

Peter: Whew…..okay, here we go….._I'm going to do it_……_I'm going to fly_…….

Peter steps off the ledge…………._SPLAT!_

Mohinder walks into the living room of the new apartment. Matt is making lunch.

Mohinder: Oooh, that sandwich looks delicious.

Matt: I know, Molly is going to love this one…..

Mohinder: Did you go to the store? _You know we don't have any mayonnaise_.

Matt: Yeah we do, I just used it……oh wait……crap!

He throws the sandwich away in the trash.

Mohinder: Anyway, I have to get ready for my trip!

Matt: You're going on a trip!?

Mohinder: Yes. I have more research to do. There are so many people out there with _extraordinary abilities_……._extraordinary_……._extra_…._ordinary_……..God, I love my sexy voice. _Extraordinary…_

Matt (snapping his fingers): Hey, focus!

Mohinder: Oh, right…..Well, I'll be leaving today.

Matt: But!...But, what am I supposed to do with Molly!?

Mohinder: Oh gee, I don't know….._Take_….._care of her_……just a thought.

Matt: But, what about what _Dr. Phil said_, I not very good around children!

Mohinder: You're just being paranoid….

Molly sits at the table opening up her can of Root Beer which Matt accidentally dropped _45 times_ before serving it to her. The can explodes in her face, sending her flying across the room. _CRASH!_

Matt: Uh…..

Mohinder (not paying attention): Well, if you're that nervous, I guess you two can come with me. It'll be fun……_and I can practice my sexy voice monologues_…….

Matt (Groaning): Oh boy……

Back at the Bennet House, Noah knocks on Claire's bedroom door.

Claire: Come in.

Noah walks in; he sits on the edge of her bed as she is reading a book. Claire starts to slowly reach for _her weapon_.

Noah: So……you really want to do this don't you?

Claire: Yes.

Noah: -Sigh-…..well, I talked it over with your mother…..who is still pretty upset _over dinner_, but we do trust you……and just as long as you're careful, you can go to your model tryout thing.

Claire: Really?

He nods.

Claire smiles, hopping up to hug him.

Claire: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll be very careful.

Noah: I know…..

Claire: I'm going to get ready for my audition, yay!

She is giddy, she runs out of her room. Noah's cell phone rings with the _Green Acres_ theme song. It's _The Haitian_.

Noah (on the phone): What did you find out?

Haitian: I found some more of _Isaac Mendez's_ paintings….

Noah: _More of them?_ How many did that guy make?

Haitian: You need to see this….you won't like it.

Noah: I see…….Where can I meet you.

Haitian: At 555 Portland Avenue. They are stored away in this warehouse.

Noah: _555 Portland Avenue_?...I'm at _553 Portland Avenue!_

Noah looks out the window to see The Haitian waving to him through the window. Noah rolls his eyes.

Noah: Ooookay……I'll be there shortly.

Haitian: What will you tell your family?

Noah: Oh don't worry…….I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Just like last time….

-A FEW WEEKS AGO-

Lyle walks into the kitchen to see _Mohinder _wearing a business suit and a pair of _Horned Rimmed Glasses_.

Mohinder: Oh, hello there _Claire Bear_. Be sure to eat your breakfast this morning.

Lyle: Uh…..I'm Lyle…..dad…..?

Mohinder: Wonderful, be sure to take your sister along with you.

He hands Lyle _Mr. Muggles_.

Lyle: Dad, this is Mr. Muggles….

Mohinder: Run along now, you'll be late for Cheerleading Practice.

Lyle: UGH!

He storms off.

-END FLASHBACK-

Noah: Just like that…..

Haitian: I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention….

Noah: Hmm…….

_Mohinder: We all have our breaking points_…….._We all have a limit that will be reached_……_There comes a time where we just have to do_….._what we were meant to do_….

Claire (at her audition): And if you're a _Prissy Girl _like me, you'll want to get _Prissy Girl brand razors_. _Shave The Cheerleader_……_Shave The World_……oh crap, I just cut myself…..

Director: Geez, get the Nurse!

Nurse (walking up): Hey, what happened to your cut?

Claire: Uh…..I'm a fast healer…..uh…..but not in a way that might seem too fast…..you know…..faster than……any normal person should be….I'm _not_ that!

Nurse: Way too suspicious…

Director: Take 57! –Sigh-……

Nathan signs the papers to check Peter out of the hospital again; he ends up back on the roof.

_Mohinder: And sometimes those things we were meant to do_……._were meant to be extraordinary_……_to do extraordinary things_…..

Mohinder is recording his monologue on the airplane; Matt is smothering himself with his pillow.

_Mohinder: There are times we need to just let go_……_and take that giant step over the edge_…….

Peter: I'm going to do it this time……

Nathan: You do realize your health insurance is going to drop you like a rock with all your hospital trips…..

Peter: Here I go…..

He walks off the edge, Nathan waits………….Peter's body flies upward and lands on the roof of the next building.

Peter: HA! I did it……I actually did it! In your face!

A bird flies into the back of Peter's head; he loses balance and falls to the ground……_SPLAT!_

Nathan (on his cell phone): Hello, Doctor? It's Nathan Petrelli……_yeah get Peter's room ready; we'll be back shortly_…….

Back at the Bennet House, the family has gathered to watch Claire's commercial.

Sandra: How did you do?

Claire: Good…..I think.

Claire (On TV): With 7 blades, _Prissy Girl Razors_ will give you the closest shave a girl could ever want. Just watch……

The family watches in horror as Claire _accidentally slices herself again_, blood spurts everywhere.

Lyle: Whoa, cool…..

Noah: They actually showed this on television!?

Claire: It was the best one out of _96 takes_, the director ran away screaming.

Noah: Did you 'hurt' yourself on every take.

Claire: Yeah, good thing nobody asked any questions.

Noah buries his face in his hands……

Somewhere else, in a laboratory, _Sylar _wakes up and looks around.

Sylar: Wh….Where am I?

Scientist: You are safe…..

Sylar: I'm hooked up to stuff…..what are you doing to me?

Scientist: Nothing, just experimenting…..relax…..

Sylar waves his arm in an attempt to telekinetically throw her across the room…..but failed.

Sylar: What is this?...I don't have my powers?!..._I worked really hard to get those_….

Scientist: Just relax; we'll be done with the testing momentarily.

Sylar glances at what the scientist is doing. She reaches her hand out, a pen rolls across the desk and she grabs it. This grabs Sylar's attention. She reaches for a clipboard, which _slides across the table to her hands_. Sylar grins and slides off the table.

Scientist: What are you doing!?

Sylar: You have power…..

Scientist: What are you talking about?

Sylar: You are _a shiny new toy_……that will be all mine….

He swipes the _Rubik's Cube _from her hands and plays with it.

Sylar: God, I hate these things.

He throws it to the side.

Sylar: Back to business. I want that power!

He points his finger in an attempt to make a _telekinetic incision in her head_….which doesn't work, of course.

Sylar: Oh, that's right….I can't do that either…..

He grabs a knife…..

Scientist: Get away with that knife. I just had brain surgery and _the top of my head can pop off very easily_….

Sylar: Oh….well, good for me, then!

A little later….

Sylar finishes with the Scientist; he waves his arm which blows the door off its hinges.

Sylar: Hmm….it's a start…..

He grabs a jacket and walks out of the complex.

_To be continued_…….

NEXT MONDAY: HEROES CONTINUES…….

Hiro Nakamura (Japanese Subtitles): We have a mission to go on; we must….._save the world_.

Ando Masahashi (Sub): Oh boy, here we go again…..

-Claire still tries to find her purpose-

Announcer: _Clare Bennet, come on down! You're the next contestant on 'The Price Is Right'!_

Claire: YAY!

Claire is standing next to the giant wheel.

Bob Barker: Now Claire, spin the wheel so you can participate in the _Showcase Showdown_.

Claire: Will do!

She spins the wheel as hard as she can; one of the pegs sticking out latches onto her sweater, pulling her underneath the wheel. The audience screams as her body gets mangled.

Claire: I'm okay everybody, just need to……Bob, can you grab my left shoulder and pull as hard as you can?

Noah and The Haitian are sitting in the audience.

Noah: Hundreds of People just witnessed that!

Haitian: You're going to make me erase _all their minds, aren't you?_

Noah: Did you have to ask?

Haitian: -Groan-

-Will Mohinder's research be successful?-

Mohinder: Did you lose the map?

Matt: _We had a map!?_

Mohinder: Ugh…..This is just great; we're lost in the jungle……

Matt: Hmm….Molly, do you have a map?

Matt turns around as Molly gets picked up and carried away by a Bald Eagle.

Molly: EEEE!

Matt: Uh oh…..

Mohinder (turning around) Where's Molly?

Matt: She…….went……uh……

-And what is the mystery behind the paintings?-

Noah: Open it up.

The Haitian opens up a crate with a few of Isaac's painting in it.

Noah: Perfect, let's see what the future holds.

Noah grabs a hold of one and holds up a portrait….._of Noah holding up a portrait_…._of Noah holding up a portrait_….._of Noah holding up a portrait_……

Noah: Oh, come on! _He didn't even try on that one!_

-HEROES CONTINUES, NEXT WEEK-


	2. Trust

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 2: Trust

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC, the characters, events, powers, yup, it belongs to them. Anything else was just made up; and any similarities from such things are purely coincidental. None of the Super Friends were harmed in the filming of this episode. Disclaimer Over!

_Previously On Heroes_……

Peter: I lost my powers, but I don't remember how….

Nathan: You have been doing that a lot recently, haven't you?

Peter: I just have to start from scratch…..from the top of this roof….

Nathan: Knock yourself out; I have complete faith in you.

Peter: Thanks! I will…..

Peter takes a step and falls off the building. Nathan's phone rings.

Nathan (answering it): Yeah.

Fireman: Mr. Petrelli, this is the fire department. We're going to be running a little late in catching your brother from jumping off the roof. _We had to rescue a cat stuck in a tree_….

Nathan: Uh oh…..

_SPLAT!_

Claire enters the living room of the Bennet House.

Claire: I want to be a spokes model. I think it would be a great way to normalize my life, since nothing else seems to be working.

Noah: Well…….I could just say no…….like I normally do…..but…..

Claire: Yeah…..but….

Noah: But _I'd rather do this!_

Noah pulls a rope as a giant banner reading '_NO!'_ flops down, followed by balloons and confetti.

Noah: It took me 4 months to make that….._and it was worth it_!

Claire: UGH!

She storms back upstairs.

Mohinder: I think this new apartment will be an excellent place to raise Molly. And to conduct my research!

Matt: And _my powers are also evolving_. Watch this…..

Matt waves his hand in front of Mohinder.

Matt: Say….'_These are not the Droids you are looking for_!'

Mohinder: _These are not the Droids you are looking for_……UGH! Stop making me do that!

Matt: _But it's so much fun!_

Sylar jolts up to a sitting position on an experiment table.

Sylar: Where am I? What's going on?

Scientist: Relax. We'll be done shortly.

Sylar notices the Scientist's ability to move objects with her mind.

Sylar: Most excellent! (He puts a bib on)

Later….

Sylar: And let's give it a test….

Sylar waves his arms to send the lab door flying off to the side. _CRASH!_

Sylar: This will do nicely….and I'm off!

-FIN-

_Hiro Nakamura   
New York City  
Hey, someone just ran over that guy's foot! Call an ambulance!_

On a hot Thursday afternoon, Hiro Nakamura happily runs down the sidewalk past several groups of people. He runs into a nearby _Subway Restaurant_, where Ando is waiting for him.

Ando (Japanese subtitles): Hiro! You made it back.

Hiro: Yes, Ando. And you won't believe what I have in my possession.

Ando: What is it?

Hiro: This!

Hiro pulls out a parchment of some sort and holds it up high proudly.

Ando: ….._What is it?_

Hiro: This, Ando, is a very important sheet of information. We must leave at once.

Ando: But I haven't finished my sandwich yet! Where are we going?

Hiro: Where we always go, Ando my friend…….._We're going to save the world!_

Ando: Again!?

_Peter Petrelli  
Simon and Monty Petrelli's Private School  
On the menu: Salisbury Steak_

Peter enters his nephew's classroom.

Monty (reading a paper): For my Career-Day show and tell; I brought my uncle Peter, who is a hospice nurse.

Peter (chuckling): Well, _former hospice nurse_. But you don't have to know that.

Mrs. Crumble: I've been told that you have a slide show of your work.

Peter: I sure do.

Mrs. Crumble gets the projector ready, Peter stares off into space.

-A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO-

Nathan walks into the living room of his house to find Peter on the couch, dejected, eating some cereal and watching _The Smurfs_.

Nathan (on the phone): Okay, okay mom. I'll be right over…….Sure…….Okay…….Fine, bye.

He hangs up.

Nathan: Oh, dammit……I completely forgot…..Hey, Pete. Is there anyway you can take the boys to their career day today? I have to take mom downtown to city hall. She ran over another Mime again.

Peter: -Sigh-……sure, I guess.

Nathan: You're still upset about losing your abilities, aren't you?

Peter: No, Nathan. I'm mad because I think _Gargamel is actually going to kill the Smurfs this episode_.

Nathan: Actually I think he does this week.

Peter: Wonderful, that just adds to my day!

He turns the tv off and tosses the remote, burying his face in the pillows on the couch.

Nathan: Hey, hey….Don't worry you'll get them back. You flew a couple of days ago.

Peter: Yeah, but just that one stint. I haven't been able to get the hang of it since…

-FLASHBACK-

-FIN-

Nathan: Sorry, Pete I don't have time for a flashback, I really have to get going. So will you do it?

Peter: I guess.

Nathan: Thanks, bro.

He gets up and walks out.

-NOW, FIN-

Mrs. Crumble: Okay, Mr. Petrelli, it's all yours.

Peter turns on the slideshow and Monty flips the lights.

Peter (clicking the next slide): This is me, professional hospice nurse; saving lives, _because I'm cool like that_.

One of the kids yawn.

Peter: Anyway…..(Clicking the slide)…..This is a picture of me sticking this _very long needle_ into one of my patients!

Children: EEW!

Peter (clicking): Oh, this one is from my first day on the job. _I dropped Mr. Fredrickson's colostomy bag!_ Boy was my face red!

Children: EEEEW!

Peter (clicking): And _this_ slide was when I delivered my first baby. Granted it was in the back seat of a taxi in the middle of a _White Castle parking lot_. But it was a magical experience, nonetheless…

Children: AHHHHHH!

Some of the children run away in fear.

Mrs. Crumble: Hmm. I'm sorry, Mr. Petrelli. We're going to have to call it a day. Thank you for coming…..ugh, Billy! Stop drawing in class!

Peter stares at Billy's crayon box……he inhales abruptly as his eyes gloss over in a grey-ish color. He runs over and pushes Billy out of his chair.

Billy: OOF!

Peter starts grabbing crayons and drawing a portrait on a fresh piece of paper.

_Bennet and The Haitian  
Storage Warehouse  
What Bennet is thinking: If he left the oven on or not_.

Noah enters one of the storage rooms. The Haitian is standing next to a crate.

Noah: More of Mendez's paintings?

Haitian: Yes, I needed you to take a look at this one…..you won't be pleased.

Noah opens the top and pulls out a portrait.

Noah: This is awful…..

Haitian: I know.

Noah: Is this supposed to be Claire? Her nose is way too pointy…..and her arms are completely out of proportion from the rest of her body. This is just awful.

Haitian: Sorry, _I drew that one_. I was bored waiting for you to show up.

Noah pulls out another portrait that just says the words '_Claire Bennet is going to die_!'

Noah: Can we get a little more specific?

Haitian: Look at the next one.

Noah pulls up the next portrait, at the same time Peter finishes his crayon drawing. They both depict Claire strapped to a railroad track, the train approaching from the horizon.

Noah: Hmm….

Peter (shooting his hands up): _YATTA!_...oh, wait….that's not my line…….

---Look, the world is rotating on it's axis………..Heroes!---

_Mohinder, Matt, and Molly  
Belfast International Airport  
Next In-flight Movie: Snakes On A Plane_

Mohinder Suresh, Matt Parkman, and Molly Walker exit their flight and make their way to baggage claim.

Matt: Ugghh, man that was a long flight.

Mohinder: Well, you didn't have to come along.

Matt: How do you know if this person actually has a special ability or not?

Mohinder: That's what my research is for. I am trying to find as many people as I can who have….(dramatic close up)….._extraordinary abilities_……mmmm, yes, _extraordinary_…

Matt: Yes, yes…enough of that.

They approach the baggage claim; Matt's luggage comes around on the conveyor belt. On the side of his briefcase reading….

_CHAPTER 2: TRUST_

Matt: Aw man, I hate it when the airline writes crap on my things.

He picks it up and tries to wipe off the writing. He accidentally bumps into Molly, who falls onto the conveyor belt.

Molly: Ahhh!

Matt: There, it's all off. Uh oh……

Mohinder: Okay, our cab is here. Where's Molly?

Matt: Uh…..

Matt reaches over and grabs a random kid.

Matt: Here she is! Heh, heh…….

Mohinder: You're not fooling anybody!

_Niki and Micah Sanders_  
_Camp Yellowfoot  
That raccoon is looking awfully suspicious. _

A car pulls up to the entrance of the not so exciting camp 'Yellowfoot'. Niki Sanders at the wheel with her son Micah, looking over the place with disgust.

Niki: Well, here we are!

Micah: Mom, do I have to go here? It doesn't look very safe. That and they'll probably just make me make glue and macaroni art.

Niki: Don't worry Micah. It's only just for a couple of weeks. I have to go get some help so everything we'll be back to normal.

Micah: Well, yeah. I don't want another disaster like what happened at my birthday party.

-FLASHBACK-

Micah is sitting at the table with a few of his friends. Niki comes up with the birthday cake.

Niki: Happy Birthday, Micah. Here's your cake.

Micah: Thanks, Mom. This is a pretty cool birthday. Well, _I am a little old for Chuck-E-Cheese_. But it's good enough anyway.

Niki pulls out a knife to cut the slice, the sees _Jessica_ in her reflection.

Jessica: You're not actually going to feed him that are you? It's full of sugar!

Niki (gritting her teeth): Shut up…and go away!

Jessica: This party is actually kinda boring. I'll just have to fix it up!

Niki: Don't do it!

Niki closes her eyes for a second; she realizes she is the reflection in the knife looking back at Jessica.

Jessica: Hello there!

Niki: Dammit!

Jessica: Now, time to have some fun.

Jessica grabs a chair and runs up, raining down the pain over Chuck-E-Cheese's head. _WHAP!_

Girl: AHHH! That woman is hurting Chuck-E!

_WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!_

Jessica: Someone bring me a new chair! I grow tired of this one……

-FIN-

Niki: Yeah, it's most inconvenient. But this way you'll be safe.

Micah: Well, I guess. See you in a couple of weeks.

He gets out of the car and is approached by the Camp Master.

Camp Master: Why hello there! You must be Mickey.

Micah: Micah.

Camp Master: Well, Mickey, we are going to have some fun! We are going to make glue and macaroni art and go hunting for vicious bears!

Micah: -Groan-….

_Claire Bennet   
The Bennet Residence  
In the mailbox: Bills, Bills, Junk mail, and Coupons_……_Hey, buy one get one free on Spam_!

Claire is sitting at the kitchen table, extremely bored, tapping her fingers on the table.

Claire: Okay, I'm going stir crazy; I'm getting out of here.

Sandra: Oh, Claire! Wait!

Sandra comes running in the other room.

Sandra: Will you take Mr. Muggles out for a walk?...(In a cutesy voice) He hasn't had his daily walk today! Haven't you?...No you haven't……Uh uh……no you haven't!

Claire: Uh…..sure, I guess.

Claire is walking down the sidewalk with Mr. Muggles on leash.

Claire: Okay, Claire. You have got to find something to do with your life. I'm just going crazy. I wish I could do something.

Claire stops dead in her tracks in front of a window with a 'Now Hiring' sign just placed up. She smiles as the idea forms in her head.

Claire: A job……perfect.

She ties Mr. Muggles to a nearby telephone pole.

Claire: Okay, Mr. Muggles. You stay right here and I'll be back in a few minutes.

She finishes tying the leash up and runs inside to apply.

_Hiro and Ando  
The Public Library  
Most Checked Out Book: The Cat In The Hat_…….._Hmm_.

Ando (sub): Okay, I give up. Why are we at the library?

Hiro (sub): I'm trying to find out information about this man.

Ando (looking at the picture): Who is 'Shinko?'

Hiro: He is a famous Chinese philosopher. Many years ago he had a prophecy, about the end of the world.

Ando: Are we going to have to save the cheerleader again?

Hiro: No. But everything about his vision was penned out in a parchment. 'The Scroll of Shinko' it is called.

Ando: And you got the scroll?

Hiro: Well close…….

-FLASHBACK-

Hiro: This is ridiculous, that piece of parchment is a very, very, important piece of information. The world is at stake!

Pawn Shop Owner: I told you already, its 50 Thousand Dollars……and 1 cent!

Hiro: Uh…..well, can I 'rent' it?!

PSO: No.

Hiro: 'Borrow' it?

PSO: NO! Now buy something or get out of here.

Hiro: Fine, you left me no choice.

Hiro closes his eyes real quick and freezes time. The Pawn Shop Owner is stuck in place with his newspaper halfway open. He sneaks behind the counter and opens the case with the scroll in it.

Hiro: What am I doing? I can't do this, it's stealing. _And if Sesame Street has taught me anything_, it's that 'Stealing is Wrong'! Hmm…..

Hiro looks around in desperation to find a Xerox machine behind him.

Hiro: Unless…..

-FIN-

Hiro: So, I got the next best thing! I didn't have to steal, because it's wrong, and we can save the world.

Ando: But what does it say?

Hiro: Well, it's not even in Chinese; it's in some other language. So it's a good thing we are here.

He slides over a Foreign Language book. After several hours of reading.

Ando (almost asleep): Did you find out anything?

Hiro: Yes…..it says……'My vision, as clear as the ocean waters. But foretell the end of mankind. Pestilence and Plague will spread across the lands, and all life will be lost. There is only but one way to stop this dawn of fate. For thou must bring forth the blood of the indestructible.

Hiro and Ando look at each other then turn around slowly to see _Claire's awful tv commercial for 'Prissy Girl Razors'_, playing on the library's television set.

Claire (on tv): And don't forget, I'm so confident that 'Prissy Girl' will work for you. I'm going to do a comparison with this _chainsaw_. That way we'll see which one gets a closer shave.

Claire tries to chainsaw her face while Hiro and Ando look back at each other.

Ando: I guess we are going to have to save the Cheerleader again.

Hiro: This time she'll have to save us….

Director (on tv): Good lord, _how much blood does this girl have?!_

Claire leaves the fast food restaurant, now that she finished her application. All is going well, _except for the fact that Mr. Muggles is gone_….

Claire: AHH! Oh, no…..no, no……this is bad. _MR. MUGGLES!_

Sam: Yes, young girl? I'm _Sam Muggles_, I'm a car salesman. Are you looking for a car? I can get you a good deal….

Claire: Uh…..no….

Claire starts running down the sidewalk in a panic.

Claire: MR. MUGGLES!!!

Brenda: Did someone call my name, _Brenda Muggles?_ The owner of _Muggles Jewelry_! The finest jewelry in the city. I can get you a good deal!

Claire: Ugh! NO!

Claire walks on.

Claire: Okay, breathe……you can do this…….my parent are very understanding, I can tell them the truth…….yeah, this won't be a problem at all!

Claire enters her house.

Claire: I'm back with Mr. Muggles!

Claire enters the living room, Sandra runs in happily to see her precious pup.

Sandra: How was my precious Mr. Muggles!? I've missed you so!

Claire hands her mother _a cheerleading pom-pom_. Sandra proceeds into the kitchen with 'Mr. Muggles'. Noah, back home from whatever it is he was doing, was watching the spectacle from the dinner table.

Sandra: AHHHHHHHH!

Noah: You didn't think that would actually work, did you?

Claire: It was worth a shot.

Sandra: Claire! You owe me an explanation right now, young lady!

Claire: Uh…

Sandra: _There's something wrong with Mr. Muggles!_

Noah puts his head down on the table.

Claire: Uh….well there is……and that is……that it's not Mr. Muggles…..

Sandra: I should've known. _He usually notices when I get my nails done, and not a word!_

Claire: Yeah, funny how things work like that….

Sandra: Wait….then where is he?

Noah (turning back to Claire): Well, Claire?

Claire: ……_I dropped him off at camp to make glue and macaroni art so I can get professional help to control my power?_

Sandra: _You lost him, didn't you!? Oh, this is just awful!_

Sandra runs into the kitchen distraught.

Noah: Now look what you did, Claire. You upset your mother. Don't worry about it though. _Tomorrow I'll buy her a nice pinecone to play with_…

Claire (sitting down): Ugh……dad I feel awful about this. It was my fault that I uh……..

Noah: That 'I uh…..' what?

Claire: ….Applied for a job…..

Noah: What?! Now why would you go off and do that? I mean, it's good that you are trying to get a job but….

Claire: Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I'll be careful. I always am. You don't have to worry about me all the time, dad.

Noah: Well, that's good to hear.

Claire: I guess I'll go out and look for Mr. Muggles……_I'll start off near the train tracks_…..

Noah (throwing his newspaper down): Uh….no! You can't!

Claire: Why not?

Noah: Because……I was going to look for him.

Claire: Really?

Noah: Sure. You stay here and…..help your mother cope…..I guess.

Sandra comes in all dressed in black and a vale over her face.

Claire: That was fast.

Sandra (sobbing): Okay, I have the candlelight vigil scheduled for tomorrow night. I called all the family and told them the horrible news, and I managed to get Celine Dion to sing a song in memory of Mr. Muugg..waaahhh (she storms off).

Claire (turning to Noah): Hurry…..

Noah doesn't waste any time, running out the door.

Mohinder, Matt, and Molly arrive at the house of their client, one who just might have…._extraordinary abilities_.

Matt: We should be careful, this guy could be insane.

Mohinder: You always say that.

Mohinder walks up to the door as Matt stares off into space; completely unaware that Molly just got carried off _by a wild pack of German Shepherds_.

Molly: Heeeeeelp meeeeeeee!

Matt: AHH!

Mohinder returns to where Matt is standing.

Mohinder: I don't think anybody is home…..Where's Molly?

Matt: Molly…..right……..short girl…….about 'yay high.

Mohinder: That would be the one.

Matt: Well……oh! She went to go get some Ice Cream. Yum! Yum!

Mohinder: Why in the world would she do that? _She's Lactose Intolerant!_

Matt: Um….well……she….went to go get _me _some Ice Cream!...yum, yum…….

Mohinder: You sent a small child into the dangerous streets just to cure your sweet tooth? That's completely careless of you!

Matt: Don't worry; I gave her a gun to protect herself.

Mohinder: _You gave her a gun?!_

Matt: You know what? I'm not going to win this, am I?

Mohinder shakes his head 'no'.

Matt: Okay. I'm going to look for her…..right now.

Mohinder starts to follow when the door to the house opens.

Man: Are you Dr. Suresh?

Mohinder: Yes? Are you……(looking at the file)……Ray?

Ray: Yes, yes…..come in. I'm glad you could make it.

Mohinder enters Ray's living room and takes a seat on the couch.

Ray: Sorry I didn't answer the door before, I was in the shower.

He takes a seat in a chair across from Mohinder.

Ray: So….you study people's abilities……?

Mohinder: Oh….(laughs)…..I wouldn't say that…….I prefer to call them……_extraordinary_……mmmmm, yes….

Ray: Right….so you want to see what I can do?

Mohinder: Yes, please. It will be invaluable to my research.

Ray: Okay…..

He leans over to get something and shows Mohinder a deck of cards, fanned out.

Ray: Pick a card.

Mohinder: Uh……heh……..okay.

Mohinder grabs a card and looks at it.

Ray: Allright then….._What is it?_

Mohinder: ….Uh……I'm no magician, but I don't think you're supposed to 'ask' me what my card is….it completely ruins the trick. But what does this have to do with….

Ray: No, no, you'll see. What is your card?

Mohinder: The 8 of Clubs.

Ray: Okay, now put it back in the pile.

Mohinder does so. Ray shuffles the cards around and looks through them, pulling one out.

Ray: Was your card the _Jack of Diamonds?_

Mohinder: No….it was the _8 of Clubs_.

Ray: It couldn't be.

Mohinder: It was. You had me tell you at the beginning of the trick. You completely butchered the magic trick and still managed to mess it up. But enough games, what is your ability?

Ray: That's it……

Mohinder: ……

Ray: ……

Mohinder: ….._I'll see myself out_.

Mohinder gets up and walks out of Ray's house. Later, back on the airplane…

Mohinder: _A 5 hour flight for that!_ I can't believe it. What a waste of…..well, everything!

Matt: I told you not to make house calls.

Mohinder: Well, Parkman. What I'm doing is kinda considered 'Taboo', it's not like I can place an ad in the paper saying 'Think you can fly, walk through walls, stop time?' Come on down to Dr. Suresh's lab!

Matt: I think it's catchy.

_Peter Petrelli  
His apartment  
This month's special: Sign up 2 rats to live with you, get $100 off next months rent!_

Peter bursts into his apartment with bags of stuff he just bought at _Wal-Greens_! He dumps everything on the table, which is pretty much nothing but _crayons, paint, and an easel. _

Peter: Okay, Peter. You may have forgotten how to fly and everything else you've learned. But I can remember how to paint the future.

He sets up his easel and slides his painters cap on. He gets ready to paint.

Peter (closing his eyes): Okay…….focus………..need to concentrate…….

He opens his eyes…..nothing.

Peter: Dang……okay, trying it again.

30 minutes later.

Peter: It's no use. Well, I already opened these crayons, so I guess I'm stuck with them.

He starts to walk off, but stops. Closing his eyes for short moment, opening them as they turn grayish white again. He turns back to the paint easel. Throwing some green on there, then red. Mixing colors together. He continues to paint long into the night, finishing finally at 4 in the morning. Peter snaps out of his trance and feels like he's going to pass out.

Peter: Man, how long have I been doing that?

He is shocked to see the 7 portraits lying on the floor. Without hesitation he sets them up, one by one next to each other:

The first: _Claire standing in a beautiful temple, with Hiro and Ando standing behind her armed with swords_.

The second: _Niki and Matt, standing back to back and wearing formal attire; guns drawn and surrounded by people._

The third: _A man and a woman in battle, the only thing between them is a large strand of lightning emitted from their hands._

The fourth: _A close-up of Mohinder lying in the street. A light from an oncoming car shining in his face._

The fifth: _A man with his back turned, pulling out a gun from a drawer he was digging in._

The sixth: _A woman with long, jet black hair. She is looking out the window in the pouring rain._

The seventh: _Nathan, in a dark corridor, shining a flashlight to see his way._

Peter: Not too shabby if I do say so myself. Nathan will be so proud he'll want to put it on his refrigerator. In fact I'll……

Peter collapses in the middle of his living room and goes to sleep.

Mohinder, Matt, and Molly walk through the door of their apartment.

Matt: Finally! Home, bitter, home!

Mohinder: I'm not sure what I'll do next. I'm sure there's someway I can get clients to come here without causing much of a ruckus. I'll start tomorrow morning.

_-Knock! Knock! Knock!-_

Matt: Or now…..

Mohinder looks through the peephole of his door.

Mohinder: Well, how about that…..

Mohinder opens the door to find Niki standing there.

Niki: Hello, Dr. Suresh.

Mohinder: Niki. Good to see you……Where's Micah?

Niki: Camp. I was wondering if we could give your experiment another shot…..maybe it'll work this time. So maybe I can say goodbye to Jessica forever.

Mohinder: I'd like that. Please, come in. You're more than welcome to stay here.

Matt: What?! You can't do that. What if she goes…..you know……_coo coo?_

Niki, now Jessica grabs Matt and holds him up close.

Jessica: Who are you calling 'Coo coo?'

Matt: Uh…….uh……._nothing, pretty lady_…….

Jessica: Wrong answer!

She hurls Matt out of the window.

_CRASH!_

Matt: Uuuughh.

Mohinder: Right…..

Mohinder pokes Jessica with a syringe and injects, she passes out as he catches her.

Mohinder (setting her on the couch): There you go, you get some sleep and I'll get to work on you first thing tomorrow morning.

He sticks his head out the window.

Mohinder: And will you get inside already, _what will the neighbors think?!_

Matt: I would hope that _calling an ambulance_ would cross their thoughts…..oh that stings……

Mohinder (voicing): _Trust is a funny thing. Everyday people shell out empty promises like they're nothing, and they end up falling short on their end of the bargain. And the end result is people getting hurt, whether physically, or emotionally_.

Matt: Or _by being thrown out of a 3__rd__ story window!_

Mohinder: Do you mind? I'm trying to finish….

Matt: Well, do you have to do that here, _in my bedroom?_

Mohinder: Molly kicked me out of her room.

Matt groans as he buries his head with pillows and covers.

Mohinder: _But trusting the wrong people can lead to dismay as well._ _All one has to do is look into their hearts, and know who they can help, and who that person can rely on_ _when they need it most_.

Matt (sarcastically): You know what, I don't need sleep. I'll just go watch tv in the other room.

Noah and The Haitian are driving around the block looking for Mr. Muggles.

Noah: Do you think she'd notice if I just…..buy her a new one? One that would look _exactly _like the old one….

Haitian: Probably.

Noah slams on his breaks.

Haitian: What did you do that for?

Noah is staring straight ahead, at a woman with _long black hair_ standing in front of the car. She turns her attention away and walks on.

Haitian: There's the dog.

The Haitian points out Mr. Muggles, skipping down the sidewalk.

Noah: I know that woman…….

Haitian: Oh…..there he goes…..

Noah gets out of the car and runs after the woman he almost hit. People are honking behind Noah's car.

Haitian: I need to get a raise for this….

He slides into the driver's seat and goes after Noah.

Mohinder: _Having someone trust you is a very powerful thing. It's more than just a favor, it's a way to better ourselves_….._it's what can make the world a better place_….._it's what makes us human_…..

Matt (eating cookies): Hey! I'm trying to watch _Nip/Tuck_ in here. Keep it down in there!

Matt and Niki are sitting on the couch.

Matt: Milk!

Niki, drinking her glass of milk, rolls her eyes as she holds it over to Matt so he can dunk his cookie.

Matt: Yeah….._I deal with this every night._

Niki: You got crumbs in my milk again……

Matt: Please don't throw me out the window……

In the interview for her new fast food job, Claire sits in front of the Manager, Tom.

Tom: Well, Ms. Bennet you seem like you'd be a great addition to the team. You don't have that much experience but, we can work around that.

Claire: Does that mean I have the job!?

Tom: Sure, you can start tomorrow.

Claire: Great! I'll just get rid of these other applications I was going to fill out for other places.

She walks over and feeds them into the paper shredder.

Claire: Thank you so much for giving me the job, Tom. I won't let you down! I…..

She stops and turns back to see her fingers _shredded into the paper shredder_.

Claire: Eeegh!

Tom: Something wrong?

Claire: Uh, nope. Nothing at all.

Tom: It looks like you're bleeding! Did you cut yourself?

Claire: No, I uh….._dropped a ketchup packet down in there!_ Clumsy me!

Tom (to himself): Way too suspicious….

Nathan and Angela leave City Hall after paying her 'Running Over Mime' fine. They get in the car and drive off.

Angela: So, Peter took the boys to their career day?

Nathan: Yeah.

Angela: ……_You haven't told him anything, have you?_

Nathan: …..No…..But we should….He deserves to know what happened that night…..how he lost his powers.

Angela: He can't, Nathan. And whatever you do, you have to make sure he doesn't get them back.

Nathan: He's going to eventually.

Angela: He can't……..Because if he does……all hell will break loose, and millions of people will die……

Nathan: -Sigh-…….Mom, watch out!

_THUD!_

Angela: -Gasp!-……What did I hit?

Nathan (looking out the window): …….._Another Mime_…..

Angela: Why do I always do that!?

Nathan leans back in his seat, shaking his head.

_To Be Continued_…….

-Next Week: Heroes Continues-

-Will Mr. Muggles be found?-

Noah: I found him!

Sandra: You did!?...Wait…..Noah, _this is a pinecone!_

Noah: Uh…..well……

Sandra: I can't believe you tried to get me a pinecone to trick me. _This is our anniversary all over again!_

Lyle and Claire look at their father.

Noah: Don't ask.

-What are Sylar's plans?-

Sylar (to Mohinder): I'm going to get what I want…..and you're not going to stop me!

Matt: Hurry, Mohinder. _Bore him to death with your monologues!_

Mohinder: Oh, shut up!

-Who is the mysterious woman?-

Noah (tied up): You can stop running; I know what you can do. I worked with your father….

Woman: You murdered my father….

Noah: No……_I am your father_……wait, no I'm not…..scratch that last one out.

Woman: I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago.

She holds out her hands….

-And a familiar face returns, on a mission-

Elle (to the bartender): Hi! I'm looking for this man, right here. In this photo! (Holds up a picture of Noah).

Bartender: Never seen him.

Elle: I heard that you have. And I know you want to help me because _I'm bubbly and super-cute!_

Bartender: Girly, I don't have time to waste on you. Why don't you go to the mall or something!

Elle: How dare you mock me! _Prepare to taste my wrath!_

Elle thrusts her hand forward and electrifies the bartender into a crispy critter.

Elle: _Shocking, isn't it_…….Okay, that was a little cheesy……

-A new chapter of Heroes, next week-


	3. Violent Tendencies

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 3: Violent Tendencies

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, powers, it's all theirs. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. None of Adam West's valuable collection of hand made china were harmed in the filming of this episode……_CRASH!_...oh, nevermind…..Disclaimer Over!

Hiro: _Previously on Heroes_……

Mohinder: I have to go see a client. I must continue my research on finding _extraordinary people with extraordinary abilities using them in extraordinary ways_!

Matt: You used up your three '_Extraordinary's'_. That's all you're allowed per episode.

Mohinder opens up a thesaurus.

Mohinder: ……._Astonishing_….

Matt (slapping his forehead): Crap….._stupid thesaurus_….

Claire is walking Mr. Muggles down the street.

Claire: That's it! I can get a job! Then I can finally act like a normal teenager!

She sets Mr. Muggles down.

Claire: Now you stay here, Mr. Mugg……

Before she finishes her sentence she looks down at the trail of dust left behind by Mr. Muggles speeding away from her.

Claire: Hey! Get back here……oh, man….

At the warehouse.

The Haitian: These portraits are some of Isaac Mendez's; you will want to look at this one.

Noah looks at the picture of Claire tied to the train tracks.

Mohinder hears a knock on the door; he opens it to find Niki.

Mohinder: Niki, what are you doing here?

Niki: I wanted to see if you could help me, I know it will work this time.

Mohinder: Uh…..

In the car.

Nathan: Peter deserves to know the truth….

Angela: He can't, Nathan…..if he gets his powers back…..it will mean the end of the world.

Peter has the 7 portraits he drew in….class…..lying out before him.

Peter: Well, I was hoping I could get my telepathy or regeneration back….._but precognitive artwork is a definite good start_…..

---

_Hiro and Ando  
New York City Sidewalk  
$3.25 for gas now!? Yeesh!_

Hiro: Hmm…..

Ando: Hmm….

Hiro: Hmmmmmmm…..

Ando: Hmmmmmmmm….

Hiro: Ando, my friend. I believe we are stuck.

Ando: Well, not yet. What about 'Shinko'?

Hiro: We don't know where he lives, I wouldn't know where to begin finding him…..And now we need The Cheerleader, and we have no idea where to find her.

Ando: Hmm…..

Mr. Muggles runs up to Hiro, he pets him.

Ando: Am I crazy, or is that _dog's nails painted?_

Hiro looks at the tag. '_Mr. Muggles. If lost please return to The Bennet's. 553 Portland Avenue, New York. If you work for an evil company, please disregard dog.'_

Hiro: Ando, this is it!

Ando: It is!?

Hiro: Come on, _we have a world to shave!_

Ando: Huh?

Hiro: _Save_….I meant 'Save'……

Hiro puts his hand on Ando's shoulder as they disappear.

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
Peter's Apartment  
What Peter wants for Christmas: Play Dough! Because Play Dough rules!_

Nathan walks into the apartment as Peter is printing out wallet sized photos of his artwork so he can show his friends.

Peter: Bro! Look what I did in class today!

Nathan (hardly glancing): That's nice, Pete. Thanks for taking the boys to show and tell career day.

Peter: Uh….you didn't really get a good look. You should check these out. One of them is of you….you're shining a flashlight at something….I wonder what it means.

Peter turns as the door shuts behind him.

Peter: How rude…..well, _he's not getting any Play Dough for Christmas_…

_Sylar  
New York Shopping District  
There's a sale at Ed's TV Emporium! Now until Wednesday, get a TV today!_

Sylar is walking down the street he stops in front of a television store, which is playing a commercial for an airline.

Stewardess: Hi, I just want to tell you that flying _Air New York_ is the best way to fly. Let's ask this gentlemen who just recently traveled with us only about a day ago.

Mohinder: Oh, hello.

Stewardess: Sir, how was your flight?

Mohinder: It was okay, I guess.

Matt: There were no peanuts! What kind of flight doesn't have peanuts?!

Stewardess: Thank you! So be sure to fly the right way…._The Air New York Way_!

Sylar: Dr. Suresh just got through making a trip…..that gives me an idea.

At the New York Airport.

Sylar walks in and is hanging around the baggage claim. A worker shows up.

Sylar: Excuse me, sir; I seem to have lost my luggage. Will you come help me?

Employee: Uh…sure I guess.

Sylar: Let's go this way.

They both walk into a storage closet. _WHAP! CRASH!_

Sylar steps out wearing the man's uniform. He sneaks behind a counter and types some information in.

Sylar: Let's see……Samuels……Selma…….Siebel…….Slate……Sorbet……ah, Suresh…..let's see…….He arrived with 2 passengers about a day ago…Obviously that Cop and the Child…..._and here's his address_….bingo!

_Noah Bennet  
Elsewhere down the street  
Do any of these scenes take place indoors anymore?!_

Noah is running after the mysterious woman, she turns a corner and hides in a warehouse. He catches up with her.

Noah: Why are you running?

Woman: Why are you chasing me?..._You're being very foolish_…..

Noah: What? Are you going to kill me?

Woman: I should……_just like you killed my father._

Noah: Oh, please….I did not kill your father. He was an idiot, he accidentally killed himself!

Woman: Shut up!...I'm not going to stand here and listen to you lie to my face…..

Noah: Fine, _I'll turn around_.

Woman: I can't keep running from you…..I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago…..

Noah stares at the woman as she holds her hand up…….

Noah: Erk……

He slumps to the ground….

---The world keeps a turnin'……..Heroes!---

_Mohinder and Matt  
The Apartment  
The Time is: Morning!_

Matt is fiddling with his bowl of _Alpha-bits cereal_, Mohinder is making pancakes.

Mohinder: So….Niki's living with us now….what do you think of that?

Matt: What do you mean 'What do I think?'

Mohinder: Um…..I can't make it any clearer than that.

Matt: I think it's a bad idea. You don't know when she's going to get into one of her moods and kill us.

Mohinder: That's not going to happen. I'm going to help her…..

Matt: If you say so……

Matt stirs his cereal with his spoon, the Alpha-bits letters swirl around to form:

_CHAPTER 3: VIOLENT TENDENCIES_

Matt: What the? That's kinda creepy…

He stirs around his cereal again. This time the letters forming:

_MATT PARKMAN IS GOING TO DIE!_

Matt: AHHHH!

He runs over and throws the cereal bowl out the window. _–CRASH!-_

Matt: Whew!

Mohinder: What is wrong with you?

Matt: Psychotic messages in my cereal.

Mohinder: I see.

Matt: Well, I'll go wake Molly up so she can eat some breakfast.

Mohinder: Oh, she already left for school.

Matt nods and looks out the window in horror to find _Molly sprawled on the sidewalk lying in a pool of milk and Alpha-bits cereal_.

Matt: Uh…..

He quickly closes the blinds.

Niki walks into the kitchen and sits at the table.

Niki: Hello, roomies!

Mohinder: Good morning, Niki. Did you sleep well?

Matt grumbles something.

Niki: I did, actually. Thank you so much for letting me stay hereMohinder.

Mohinder: Well, it was our pleasure to have you. Right, Matt?

Matt: _-Grumble!­-_

Niki: I mean, at least I feel better because I can try to get some help and Micah will be safe….

-Meanwhile at Camp-

Micah: Um…Scoutmaster, I don't think this canoe is very safe.

Scoutmaster Bob: Of course it is, silly! Now you have to hurry up or you won't get your 'Canoe Badge'.

Micah sighs and tries to step into the canoe, it takes off and goes over the edge of a waterfall.

Scoutmaster Bob: Well, that's unfortunate. That's okay, though. We can still make plenty of _glue and macaroni art!_

Micah: -Groan-…

-Fin-

Mohinder: Well, I need to go visit another client today. So hopefully by this afternoon we can run some tests and maybe we can pinpoint where we need to start in order to cure you.

Niki: Great.

Matt: Where are all the bowls?

Mohinder: That was our last one. _You threw all the others out the window_ _too!_

Matt: Oh……

_Hiro and Ando  
The Bennet Residence  
What's for lunch_….._Pizza rolls! _

Hiro and Ando rush up to the Bennet's door with Mr. Muggles in hand.

Hiro: Ring the doorbell.

Ando: Why do I have to? I'm nervous…

Hiro: I have a dog in my hands.

Ando: How about I take the dog.

Hiro: No, _I want to hold it_.

Ando: Well, then whose going to ring the doorbell?

The door is opened by Sandra who shrieks with delight.

Sandra: _Mr. Muggles! You came home!_ Oh, I'm so happy!

Hiro: Uh…..heh, heh…..

Sandra: Oh, thank you two so much! I am forever in your debt!

Ando: Does that mean we'll get money?

Hiro: Shh!

He turns back to Sandra.

Hiro: Actually, Mrs. Bennet, we where wondering if Claire is home.

Sandra: Claire….oh, she's at work. She just started her new job. Normally I wouldn't be giving this information to people I hardly know, but you saved Mr. Muggles, which makes you a friend of Mr. Muggles, and any friend of Mr. Muggles is a friend of mine. Let me get you that address.

Hiro and Ando laugh, while exchanging awkward looks.

_Elle Bishop  
A rundown Irish Pub  
One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor_!

Elle walks into the pub. She looks around and moseys on up to the bar.

Bartender: Hey there, little lady.

Elle: Hi!

Bartender: …..

Elle: -Smiling-

Bartender: ….What do you want? A drink?

Elle: Nope, I'm looking for this man.

She lays down a picture of Noah Bennet.

Bartender: Never seen him.

Elle: Oh, come on now……I know you've seen him.

Bartender: No….I haven't. Get lost.

Elle: Well! I won't stand here and just be cast off like that.

Bartender: Beat it! _Hot pants!_

Elle clenches her fists in frustration…then stops.

Elle (to herself): Now, Elle….don't get angry……just be cool…….(Takes a deep breath)……Focus…….keep focusing on 'your center'……with all the love and trees and……oh screw it!

She turns around and flicks her arm out, shooting hundreds of thousands of volts of electricity at him. _–ZZZZAAAAAPPP!-_

Bartender: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

His charcoaled body hits the floor.

Elle: Whoops!

She giggles as she skips out of the bar.

Elle: Okay, lets see, that didn't get me anywhere.

She looks around and spots a car at the stop light.

Elle: Hey, is that who I think it is?

She runs up and hops into the passenger seat of the car driven by The Haitian.

Elle: I thought that was you.

Haitian: Oh, hello….

Elle: So, _Skippy_, where are we driving to? (She fiddles with his shirt collar)

Haitian: How many times have I told you not to call me that?….._Just 'Haitian' will suffice_.

Elle: But 'Skippy' is so much cuter! And coming from a cute person like me it just fits! So…..where we headed?

Haitian: I am looking for Bennet. He ran off somewhere.

Elle: Really?! So am I….we should work together again, I think we'd make a great team….huh, Skippy?

The Haitian rolls his eyes and drive the car off as the light turns green.

Hiro and Ando arrive at Claire's place of employment…._The 'Good Burger Restaurant'_.

Ando: Uh…Hiro, are you sure this is where she works?

Hiro: That's the address the mother gave me. This has to be it.

Hiro spots Claire working the register through he window.

Hiro: Oooh! That's her! Come on!

They run inside as Claire gets back on her headset.

Claire (deadpan): _Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order_?

Customer: _Do you guys have Hamburgers?_

Claire: You must be joking….

Manager: Claire, can I see you for a second?

Claire: Uh…sure.

Claire hands her headset to another worker and walks back to the kitchen.

Manager: Listen, I know it's only your first day, but if you don't start getting a better attitude I'm going to have to fire you.

Claire: What?!...No, I'm sorry. I'll do better…..I'm just nervous that's all.

Manager: Good, now get out there and sell some burgers……._Oh my god! _

Claire: Hmm?

Manager: _You're hand is on the grill!_

Claire: AHH!

Claire lifts her hand up off the grill surface to find it dark red, black and blistered.

Claire: Eeeew!

Manager: You better find yourself some burn gel!

Claire: No, that's okay. I got some…..over here……Don't worry about me….

Manager: And you left those burgers burning on the grill! That's coming out of your paycheck too!

Claire: Okay…..(grumbling)….you fat jerk…

She walks over to find Hiro and Ando grinning. She stops and turns to see if they are staring at something behind her.

Claire: Hey, wait….I know you…..you're…uh……Hiro, isn't it?

Hiro: Yes!

Claire: And you must be…….(she snaps her fingers)

Ando: Ando!

Claire: That's right. Well, how have you two been?

Hiro and Ando look at each other.

Hiro: Good, good……

Claire: Good.

Hiro: Good.

Claire: …..Good.

Hiro: Yeah…..

Claire: ……Yeah……okay……So, uh…..did you want to get something to eat?

Hiro: No……

Claire: Ahh…….

Hiro and Ando continue to stand there.

Claire: Is……there……something else?

Hiro: Oh, right…..um……well…….

Ando: We found your dog!

Claire: You did?! Oh, that's awesome! Thank you……My mom must be so relieved….She loves that dog. Last night, she tried to dress up _my brother Lyle like Mr. Muggles!_ It wasn't pretty…..Well, it was funny……but not pretty.

Hiro: Yeah…..

Claire: Well, good seeing you. Bye!

Hiro: Wait!

Claire turns back around.

Hiro: Um……We came here to see if you would like to go on……a trip with us?

Claire: …A trip?

Hiro and Ando nod.

Claire (laughs nervously): Okay…..what kind of trip?

Hiro (whispering): We are trying to save the world….

Claire: What?

Hiro: We are trying to save the world….

Claire: Oh….save the world, huh? And you need my help?

Hiro: Yes.

Claire: Okay, I'll play along. How am I supposed to save the world?

Hiro: Well, we're not sure yet. But we'll know soon.

Claire: Okay, well, find out then come back to me.

Manager (yelling): Bennet! What are you doing?! You need to get back in the drive thru! NOW!

Hiro: Eeew, he's not very nice.

Claire: No, not really. I better get back…

Hiro: Wait.

Claire: What is it?

Hiro: You're not very happy here…..are you?

Claire: …..heh…….not really, I'm just……kinda in a rut, you know…….

Hiro: We know. _Ando and I both worked at Wal-Mart_…..not a very happy place…..

Claire: It's just that, I'm trying to find something to do with my life, I'm just bored…….It's just that I'm limited because of _my ability_…..so, I don't know……

Hiro: Come here…..this way….

Claire: But….okay.

They walk over and sit down at a table. Hiro pulls out the parchment and some other materials from the library.

Hiro: You see, there's this Ancient Chinese Philosopher named 'Shinko' who Ando and I are trying to get a hold of. He had a vision that the world is going to end! So he wrote out this parchment…

Claire: Oh….when was this written?

Hiro: In the 1700's…..

Claire: And……when did he say the world was going to end.

Hiro and Ando look at each other.

Hiro: There's no date really set in stone.

Claire: Okay, so, how do you know he wasn't just crazy?

Hiro: We don't.

Claire: I see.

Hiro: But we need to talk to him anyway, just to make sure, because I think he is serious.

Claire: But….I would think he's kinda dead, isn't he?

Hiro: Well, _now_, but not in the 1700's.

Claire: Oh, you mean _go back in time_ and see him? I forgot you can do that…..

Hiro and Ando nod.

Claire: Well, why do you need me again?

Hiro: According to his prophecy it reads: 'My vision, as clear as the ocean waters. But foretell the end of mankind. Pestilence and Plague will spread across the lands, and all life will be lost. There is only but one way to stop this dawn of fate. For thou must bring forth the blood of the indestructible.'

Claire: ….

Hiro and Ando look back up at Claire.

Claire: ….

Hiro: ….That would be you.

Ando: The _'Prissy Girl Razor' lady_. I really liked your commercial!

Claire: ……_You did!?_

Hiro looks at Ando.

Ando: Sorry.

Claire: You….need my blood? That's kinda….creepy.

Hiro: All we're going to do is go visit him, if anything should start going wrong, I'll bring us back here.

Claire: I don't know….

Hiro: Claire, this is what you've wanted! To save the world and protect others, right? Not to be flipping burgers! What do you say? We….can make a difference. We can be…..

Ando: Hey….don't say it, it would be _way too cheesy!_

Hiro: What? I can say it if I want to. You can't stop me.

Ando: Ugh….

Hiro: We can be _Heroes!_

Claire fiddles with a salt shaker; she looks back up at them and takes a deep breath.

Claire: …..I'll do it.

Hiro and Ando: Yay!

Claire: Hold on, I'll be right back.

She marches up to the Manager.

Manager: Where the hell have you been!?

Claire (taking her apron off): Just waiting for the right time to tell you to 'Take this job and shove it'!

She proudly walks out with Hiro and Ando trailing behind her……..She then walks back in.

Claire: Forgot my coat…..But now I'm leaving!

She walks out again.

Claire: Oh wait….I should probably call my dad first, he'll get worried.

She gets on her cell phone and dials the number.

At Mohinder's….

Mohinder's cell phone rings. He picks it up and reads the Caller ID.

Mohinder: -Gasp!-……It's Bennet!

Matt: Noah?

Mohinder: No!

Matt: The wife?

Mohinder: No!

Matt: _Mr. Muggles!?_

Mohinder: Ugh…..It's 'Claire'!

Matt: Claire…….'Claire' Claire…?

Mohinder: Yes. I forgot Noah wanted me to pretend to be him again because he's still out on business. Hurry, _fetch me my horned rimmed glasses!_

Matt: What in the world are '_Horned Rimmed Glasses'!?_

Mohinder: They're over there, hurry!

Matt: Why can't you get them?

Mohinder: I'm on the phone!

Matt: _It's a cordless phone!_

Mohinder: Oh, you are so worthless!

Claire: It's taking him a while to answer…..

Mohinder (answering): _Hello, Claire Bear!_

Claire: Uh, Hi dad……I had a question to ask.

Mohinder: Sure.

Claire: I was wondering if I can go……to……

Hiro nods his head.

Claire: _Cheerleading Practice tonight?_

Hiro: Huh?

Ando: _We're not cheerleaders!_

Hiro: Don't lie, tell him the truth!

Claire: Well…..it's actually a…..mission?

Hiro and Ando nod happily.

Mohinder: A mission eh…….Whatever it is, it sounds _extraordinary!_...

Matt: Geez…..

Mohinder: Of course you can go!

Claire: Really!?...You never let me go to things like this…..are you okay?

Mohinder panics and reaches in his pocket to pull out his notes. '_When asked to do something decline 3 times then agree'_.

Mohinder: I meant….No!

Claire: Please!

Mohinder: Not in a million years!

Claire: Come on!

Mohinder: Never!

Claire: Why not?!

Mohinder: Okay, you can go. Just be careful!

Claire: Okay, that sounds more like you. Thanks, dad!

She hangs up the phone.

Claire: We're all set, let's roll.

Back at Mohinder's….

Mohinder (hanging up the phone): That was close…..Are we ready?

Matt: Yeah. Let's get this over with….

Outside, Sylar is waiting.

Sylar: Okay, now I need a new plan….

He spots an elderly fellow sporting a nice formal suit, top hat, and an old fashioned _handlebar mustache_.

Sylar: Well, here goes…..

Sylar walks up to the guy.

Sylar: Excuse me, sir……I believe you dropped your wallet in this back alley over here.

Man: I did!? Okay, I'll go this way.

Sylar: Excellent….

Sylar follows the man….._CRASH! BANG! _

Sylar exits from the alley dressed in the formal wear and _even sporting the mustache_.

Sylar: Man, I'm really good at this _disguise thing!_

Mohinder: Okay, Niki, just wait here and we'll be back in a couple of hours.

Niki: No prob, I'll be fine.

Mohinder and Matt walk to the door and open it as _Sylar _falls in.

Sylar (disguised): -Gasp!-……-Wheeze!-…..

Mohinder: Sir, are you all right?

Sylar: Where am I?...Are you Dr. Suresh?

Mohinder: Um….yeah. Can I help you?

Sylar: My name is……(He spots the syrup on the counter)….._Butterworth_……_Charles Butterworth_…..I read this amazing book from your father!

Mohinder: Okay, what seems to be the problem?

Sylar: I have……an _extraordinary ability_.

Mohinder: -Gasp!-…..Matt, did you hear that?! He just said he had….

Matt: Yes, Mohinder, we all heard!

Mohinder: Come in! Come in! Please!

Matt: Mohinder, you don't know this guy!

Mohinder: We have to see what he can do….it is crucial to my research!

Matt: Oh geez……I'll call the client and tell him we're going to be late.

Mohinder: So, Mr. Butterworth…..what is it that you can do?

Sylar: I can move objects with my mind.

Mohinder: Fascinating!

Sylar: Yes…..(To himself: Where is the girl? I have to get her so I can start finding people with powers so I can take them and get back to the way I'm supposed to be!)

Mohinder: So, let's see it.

Sylar: Okay…….

Sylar swishes two of his fingers as the television flies off the stand and goes hurling across the room, Matt ducks just in time.

Matt: Yeeow! Hey, watch it!

Sylar: Pretty cool, huh?

Mohinder: I'd say. Listen, would you like to stay for a bit? We're about to run some tests on another one of my guests, maybe we can take a closer look into your power. So it can evolve, make it more powerful….

Sylar: I'd like that……(To himself: Mwa…ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)

Mohinder: Great, I'll get the testing equipment ready!

_Noah Bennet  
Warehouse  
There's nothing but empty cardboard boxes in here, what a waste!_

Noah (lying on the floor): So…..you haven't killed me.

Woman: You've noticed…..

Noah: What are you going to do?

Woman: You murdered my loved one…..so I'm going to do the same….

Noah: Well, if you hurt Mr. Muggles that will only make my wife upset.

Woman: I'm talking about your daughter.

Noah: You're not going to touch her!

Woman: I don't know…..I might just……_tie her to some train tracks_.

Noah (shocked): How do you know about that?!

Woman: I was there when Isaac drew them……

She starts to walk off.

Noah: Get back here! You won't get away with this!

Suddenly a car crashes through the warehouse door and peels inside.

Noah: What the hell?

The woman takes off running as the car comes to a screeching halt. Elle pops out of the passenger side.

Elle: Stop!..._In the name of love!_

The Haitian buries his face in the steering wheel.

Noah: Oh, brother……

Elle skips over and kneels down next to Noah.

Elle: Hey there, Mr. B!

Noah: Hello, Elle.

Elle: I'm so glad I found you.

Noah: Why?

Elle: Because I was looking for this woman!

She pulls out a picture of the mysterious woman.

Noah: You're looking for her?

Elle: Well….(Pulling out several pictures, the first of Noah) I was originally looking for you…….(Picture of torched bartender) Then I had to zap this guy when he gave me some lip…….(Picture of Haitian rolling his eyes) Then I ran into my good buddy Skippy who gave me a ride (Picture of the car) and I took all these pictures with (Pulls out a picture of her camera) my _Canon Supershot X9000_! And this is a picture of me at the Bahamas with my scummy ex-boyfriend who was making out with some floozy at the luau and I was really mad so I gave him a little zap! Tee hee!

Noah: That's nice, Elle……_How did you take a picture 'of' your camera?_

Elle: So, you know that woman too?

Noah: Yeah, I worked with her father back when The Company was still around. She thinks I murdered him……but she doesn't know that half of it…..

Elle: So…..I guess this means we'll be working together too!

She gets up. Yelling to The Haitian.

Elle: _Isn't this great, Skippy?_ We're all going to be a team! Super cool!

Noah: No, we're not!

Elle: Oh, come on…..we're both looking for her. We can find her faster this way!

Noah: Why are you looking for her?

Elle: Well…..

She giggles as she gets up close to Noah's ear.

Elle: Just between you and me……._she was the floozy from the luau_.

She laughs and skips back to the car.

Elle: Come on! Mr. B! Time's a waste-in!

Noah: My head hurts…..

Back at Mohinder's Apartment.

Niki and Sylar (Mr. Butterworth) are both in chairs.

Mohinder: Okay, I'm getting some readings……these are amazing….

Matt comes in and accidentally drops his coke on the machine, it starts to spark.

Mohinder: AHH! What did you do, you buffoon?!

Matt: I'm a what?

Mohinder: Well, everything still seems okay. –Sigh- I guess we'll take a break……

Niki gets up to stretch, Sylar retreats to the bathroom.

Sylar (by himself in the bathroom): This is pointless; I should just kill the three of them and _wait for the girl to get home_.

Molly comes home and sets her bag on the table.

Mohinder: Hey, Molly. Did you have a good day at school?

Molly: Yeah, it was all right…..

Mohinder: Good.

Molly turns and accidentally knocks a file off the table.

Molly: Oh, whoops!

Mohinder: Oh, that's okay. It's just one of my old files; I just like keeping them around.

Molly picks up one of the pictures, which is of _Sylar_.

Molly: I know this man…..

Matt: Yeah, he's a bad dude…..

Mohinder: But you don't have to worry about him….he's dead……

Molly: No he's not……

Mohinder and Matt look at each other.

Mohinder: What?...Where is he?

Molly looks at the picture.

Molly (gasping): He's in the bathroom!

Matt: Whoa! _Way too much information! We do not need to know that!_

Molly: Our bathroom!

Matt: EEK!

Mohinder: We need to get out of here, now!

They start to leave when they see Sylar (still disguised) standing in the doorway, holding a gun.

Sylar: That won't be necessary…..Hey, you over there too.

Niki walks over to where Matt and the others are.

Matt: _Mr. Butterworth, we have to go! _There's a dangerous serial killer in the bathroom!

Mohinder looks at Matt.

Mohinder: You dolt, that's Sylar in disguise!

Matt: Then what happened to Mr. Butterworth?

Mohinder (gritting his teeth): _There was no Mr. Butterworth_!

Matt: OH! I get it….

Mohinder rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to Sylar.

Mohinder: Why are you here, Sylar?

Sylar: Oh, come on, _that's kind of a stupid question_.

Matt and Niki nod, Molly agrees.

Mohinder: I meant, how did you survive the explosion?

Sylar: Let's just say, I'm hard to kill off.

Matt: You're telling us!

Sylar: Quiet!

Matt: EEP!

Sylar: I'm going to kill you…..then the cop……then your guest…..then the girl, I will then be able to locate whoever I want. I can then have all my powers back….

Matt: ….Which means _he doesn't have any now! Get him!_

Sylar: In case you forgot, I can still move objects with my mind….._and I have a gun_.

Matt: _That's a good power_.

Sylar: So, sorry it had to end like this……Well, I'm not 'really' sorry, but it's good to go out on a polite note.

Matt: Well, I feel better.

Sylar: Though……_reading minds and manipulating them to do whatever I want would be a good start_.

Mohinder: Which reminds me, why haven't you done it yet?

Matt: I've gotten rusty….

Sylar: I'll start with you…..

Sylar holds up his finger as Matt closes his eyes……..Nothing happens.

Sylar: Ugh! What is this?!...What did you do?!

Niki: I believe it was Parkman who spilled his drink on the equipment.

Matt: You are such a _tattle tale!_

Niki: Well, it's obvious that's what happened!

Matt: I don't think so….

Mohinder: Whatever it was it saved our rear ends!

Sylar: Not likely!

Sylar holds up the gun, _Peter runs in_, knocking Sylar to the ground.

Sylar: Ugh…….You!

Peter: You!

Sylar: I see that you're alive.

Peter: Same here.

Sylar: Well then……I'll just have to come back later……

He takes off running and jumps through the window.

Mohinder: I'm getting really tired of replacing that window.

Peter: Mohinder, I wanted to talk to you.

Mohinder: Well, thank you for saving us.

Peter: Oh…..uh you're welcome?

Mohinder: What did you want to talk about? Have you retrieved any of your abilities back?

Peter: Just one, painting the future. I flew for a minute but that went away…….wait…..How did you know that?

Mohinder: Sylar's lost his too……from the explosion last month.

Peter: ……..

Mohinder: You……don't remember?

Peter: No……..is that what happened?

Mohinder: Oh….wow, I guess we do have a lot to discuss.

Peter: Well, I was going to talk to you and show you some of the artwork I did. I'm proud of it!

Mohinder: That sounds great. I'd hate to cut you off but you should come by tomorrow morning…..I can bring you up to speed of what happened to you. Then hopefully we can get your powers back.

Peter: Great, I'll be by tomorrow then.

Peter walks out, closing the door behind him.

Matt: Well, I had enough scares for one day. _I should probably go dry my pants now_.

Niki: Ew……

She walks away.

Matt (laughs): I was joking!...Come on!

Mohinder and Molly stare at him.

Matt: What?...I was……..really…….

At the library….

Claire walks up and puts a book back on the shelf.

Claire: Did you find anything?

Hiro: Look! It reads here that Shinko lived in this temple here. If we go back to the 1700's, we might be able to ask him more about his vision.

Claire: So….what do we do?

Hiro: Nothing. Just sit right there.

He puts one hand on Ando's shoulder and another on Claire's……and….vanished!

_China  
The year 1773_

Hiro, Ando, and Claire appear on a rough mountain trail, they look forward to see a beautiful temple up ahead.

Hiro: That must be it…..

The three stand there for a second.

Hiro: Well…..let's go…..

They start making their way up……

Back in the present, the mysterious woman outruns Noah and the others and hides in a small back alley. She tries to catch her breath….

Man: ….._Rachel?_

She looks up to see man who she recognized.

Rachel: Boy, am I glad to see you.

Man: We're you followed?

Rachel: Yeah……he found me.

Man: Then we don't have any time to waste…..we have to go now….

Rachel and her partner run off down the alley.

Later that night, back at Mohinder's.

Mohinder walks up to Matt, who is watching TV.

Matt: What?

Mohinder hands him a sheet of paper.

Matt: What's this?

Mohinder: Can you?

Matt: What?

Mohinder: Can you read _my monologue_, I have a sore throat.

Matt: Oh no!...I have to read it now?

Mohinder: Come on, it needs to be read!

Matt: Fine…..

Matt flips through some of the pages.

Matt: What?...What does that mean……allright………_People wake every day not knowing of the trials before them_…..blah, blah, blah……._Hatred will destroy the world, Love is the only power_….oh geez…….yada, yada……..not reading that………not reading that……..skipping that……._I can't even pronounce that!_..._But one day despite our violent tendencies, the world will retain peace and love will shower the earth with the eternal_….okay, I'm done!

Mohinder: …..That was awful.

Matt: _Yeah, and I had to read it!_

Mohinder: You're hopeless!

The turn their attention to a scream that came from the restroom.

Matt: Uh….

Mohinder: Niki?

Mohinder walks over and knocks on the door, it slowly creaks open. Matt comes up too…..

Matt: Hey, what's going on?

Niki: I don't know….there's something wrong with me.

Matt: We knew that!

Mohinder scoffs.

Mohinder: What are you talking about?

Niki: I don't know….I mean…..when I stretch out my arms….

Mohinder and Matt go flying backward through the living room, crashing through the coffee table. –_CRAAAASHH!-_ Niki covers her mouth in shock.

Mohinder: Oh…….that…..stung….

Matt: That's gonna leave a mark for sure.

Niki: I am so sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me now.

Mohinder gets back up and makes his way to the restroom.

Mohinder: That doesn't make sense….you're Telekinetic?!

Niki: I….I don't know! I guess so…..

She looks at herself in the mirror….

Niki: And Jessica……she's gone.

Matt: Well, that's good.

Mohinder thinks for a second….

Outside, Sylar is walking the streets.

Sylar: Unbelievable, I don't know why this is happening. It was because of Suresh's stupid tests. I should've killed them when I have the chance.

Voice: Don't worry; tomorrow's a brand new day.

Sylar: Who said that?

Sylar looks over to see his reflection talking to him.

Sylar's Reflection: Hey….I'll help you get your powers back….It'll be a piece of cake!

Sylar suddenly realizes that he's the reflection, and vice versa.

Sylar walks off, feeling like a brand new person. A car pulls up and honks at him.

Driver: Hey, this guy looks like he has money! Let's get him!

Sylar walks over and picks up the car.

Driver: Wha…what the hell!?

He hurls the car across the street as it smashes through a bank's front window.

Sylar stares at his reflection through the side view mirror of the next car down.

Sylar: You see?..._I'll show you how it's done._

Sylar take off walking down the street into the night……

_To Be Continued_……

NEXT WEEK: HEROES CONTINUES

-What happened 1 month ago?-

Peter: I know what happened to me! And I can't believe you would keep it a secret!

Angela: Does this mean I'm not getting a Mother's Day card next year?

-Will Hiro and the others find what they're looking for?-

Hiro: You can't do this!

Claire: We're trapped!

-Who is Rachel and her partner, and what are their powers?-

Elle: You stole my boyfriend, you tramp!

Rachel: I guess we're just going to have to end this here!

-Will Micah ever move on to anything _other than macaroni art_?-

Scoutmaster Bob: We're out of macaroni!

Micah: Finally!

Scoutmaster Bob: But fortunately I have an ample supply of _bowtie pasta!_

Micah slams his head on the table.

Heroes continues…..next week.


	4. Gone

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 4: Gone

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, powers, it's all theirs. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. None of Peter Petrelli's picked peck of pickled peppers was harmed in the filming of this episode.

Claire: _Previously on Heroes_….

Hiro (At the Good Burger restaurant): You should come with us! We have a chance to save the world.

Claire: I don't know…..

Ando: You know, he's not going to let up if you don't agree to go.

Claire: I guess I will then….

Hiro: Yay!

The three appear outside in front of the beautiful temple.

Hiro: This looks like this is it….

Noah chases the mysterious woman, Rachel, into an abandoned warehouse.

Rachel: You killed my father.

Noah: No, he killed himself.

Rachel: Liar!

The Haitian and Elle drive through the warehouse door.

Elle: You're looking for her…..I'm looking for her…..it's only obvious that we should team up.

Noah: Ugh……

Mohinder and Matt are getting things ready in the apartment.

Mohinder: Okay, we'll be back in a few hours Niki, just wait here.

Niki: Allright. I'll be fine….

They start to leave to find Sylar (dressed as Mr. Butterworth) standing at the doorway.

Sylar: I need your help.

Mohinder has Niki and Sylar hooked up and running tests. Matt spills his coke on the machine.

Matt: Whoops!

Sylar has Matt, Mohinder, Molly, and Niki held at gunpoint in the kitchen.

Sylar: I'm going to get what I came for; and I'll do that by killing each and every one of you.

Matt: Just don't start with me.

Sylar: Actually, that's what I intended to do.

Matt: Drat!

Peter comes in and knocks Sylar down, who escapes.

Mohinder: You don't remember anything that happened that night?

Peter: No. I don't….

Mohinder: I guess we have a lot to talk about then.

Mohinder and Matt later run to the restroom.

Niki: I don't know what's wrong with me.

Matt: You can move objects with your mind now?

Mohinder: That must mean….

Sylar, outside…

Sylar's Reflection: You don't have to worry about a thing; I'll get the job done….._my way_.

Sylar throws a car across the street through the front window of the bank. He walks off…..

---

_Peter Petrelli  
Outside Mohinder's Apartment  
He's got one hand in his pocket, and the other one given a peace sign_…..

A taxi cab pulls up to the front of Mohinder Suresh's apartment. Peter gets out and starts to head up the stairs.

Driver: HEY! You forgot to pay me, pal!

Peter: Oh, right. Silly me……

Peter runs back down and hands the cabbie a couple of $20's.

Driver: What the?...This is _Monopoly Money!_

Peter walks up the stairs to the door to Mohinder's; he knocks.

Mohinder: Just a second.

Mohinder walks over ducking as Niki flings Matt across the room. _–CRASH!-_

Niki: Oh geez, I'm sorry Matt. It was an accident….._really_.

Matt: Yeah, I bet!

Mohinder (opening the door): Peter, I'm glad you could make it.

Peter: Yeah.

Mohinder: Well, come in, come in….

Peter walks in and takes a seat at the kitchen table. Mohinder joins him.

Mohinder: …Tea?

Peter: No thanks.

Mohinder: ….Piece of Double Chocolate Cake?

Peter: Uh….no.

Mohinder: ….One of my famous Buffalo Barbeque Wings?

Peter: Nope, I'm good….really…..

Mohinder: ……..

Peter: …….

Mohinder: …….

Peter: Okay, I'll take some tea.

Mohinder: Excellent! Okay, let's get down to business…….So, you don't remember one thing that happened that night?

Peter: No….nothing….

Mohinder: Well, it happened about a month ago…..

The phone rings. Mohinder walks over to get it.

Mohinder: Hello?

Angela: Mohinder Suresh.

Mohinder: Who's this?

Angela: This is Angela Petrelli, _Peter's Mommy_.

Nathan, standing next to her, rolls his eyes.

Angela: …Too embarrassing?

Nathan: Uh….no, not at all.

Mohinder: What do you want?

Angela: I know you have Peter there, and you cannot tell him anything that could help him bring his memory back.

Mohinder: Why not?

Angela: Because if he remembers what he can do….He will kill millions of people……and you will be held responsible….

Mohinder: Uh….

Angela: Think about that. _–CLICK!-_

Peter: Who was that?

Mohinder: Uh….noone. Nobody at all.

Matt stumbles into the kitchen.

Matt: Peter, hey man how've you been?

Peter: I've been better….

Mohinder: Listen Peter, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a rain check on our discussion.

Peter: What? I'm already here.

Mohinder: Yeah, it's an emergency. I really have to go.

Mohinder is walking away as Peter sits at the table.

Mohinder's Voice: _Man, he's not going to believe me. I have to think of someway to get him out of here_.

Peter: What did you say?

Mohinder: ……What?

Peter: You just said something….Why are you trying to get me out of here? Are you hiding something?

Mohinder looks at Matt.

Matt: Don't look at me, I didn't do anything.

Mohinder walks up to Peter.

Mohinder: What am I thinking?

Peter: ……That _Parkman is a clumsy oaf_….

Mohinder: Well, that was a gimme.

Matt: HEY!

Mohinder: You remembered how to read minds……it's…..it's….

Matt: Don't say it!

Peter: Who was that on the phone?

Mohinder: Uh…..

Peter concentrates on Mohinder.

Mohinder's Thought: ..._Your mother_.

Peter: My mother?...

Peter thinks for a minute.

Peter: Why?

Mohinder: ….

Peter: I'm just going to read your mind again.

Mohinder: She's trying to keep you from getting your powers back…..she claims that you will destroy the world if you do.

Peter: That's ridiculous! Why would I do that?

Mohinder shrugs.

Peter: Well, I think I'm going to pay a visit to my mother.

Peter charges out the door, he peeks his head back in.

Peter: And thank you for the tea!

He leaves. Mohinder plops down on the couch next to Matt.

Mohinder: Well…..how's Niki taking her newly discovered power?

Matt: Oh, just wonderful. Now she can _hurl me across the room easier than ever before!_

Mohinder: Well, that's good.

Matt: What are we going to do about Sylar?

Mohinder: I don't know……who knows what villainous things he's plotting now. Something so awful…….so horrid……an endless plethora of unspeakable acts…..that's what I'm sure he's doing.

_Sylar  
Starbucks  
Doing Unspeakable Things_

Sylar: Yes, I'll take a Venti Carmel Macchiato and a Scone…..

Cashier: Anything else?

Sylar: Nope. I'm good…

Sylar takes his drink and treat and walks over to the table. He is joined by Rachel and her partner.

Sylar: ….Can….I help you?

Man: You don't remember, Gabriel?...It's me….Viktor.

Sylar: ….Not ringing a bell.

Rachel: What do you think happened to him?

Viktor: Just some temporary memory loss from the incident, I'm sure.

Sylar: What do you want?

Viktor: Well, since you forgot…..I'll remind you. We helped you out immensely back then…..and it's time for you to return the favor.

Sylar: I don't know what you're talking about…..Besides, I work alone.

Sylar gets up and walks off. Viktor stands up.

Sylar: And I don't recommend you follow me….._for your sake_…..

Viktor chuckles to himself. Rachel stands up next to him.

Rachel: What are you going to do…..he doesn't remember you.

Viktor: …._I'm just going to have to refresh his memory_…..

_Claire, Hiro, and Ando_  
_18__th__ Century China  
Claire's least favorite show: A shot of Love with Tila Tequila_.

Claire, Hiro, and Ando enter the beautiful temple.

Hiro: Hello? Shinko?...Are you here?

Claire: I don't think anybody is home.

Ando: What are we supposed to do here, Hiro?

Hiro: Uh….let's see…..

They walk up to an alter in the middle of the room.

Hiro: There's an inscription…but I don't know what it says.

Voice: You don't need to know what it says.

The three spin around to find a hooded man standing behind them.

Hiro: Who are you? Show yourself!

Ando: Maybe this guy knows Shinko?

Man: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…….You didn't actually think you'd find him here did you?

Claire: Oh, this isn't good.

Man: Well, he is here….but you're a little late……_I've already killed him_.

Hiro: Y…you killed him?

Man: Yes, now that you brought me what I wanted…

Hiro: What?

Claire: What?!

Hiro: You're not going to do anything!

Hiro looks around, and notices some swords on display as part of the décor of the temple. He grabs them and throws one to Ando. _Swords drawn, they stand behind Claire_.

Man: Those swords are only for decoration, they couldn't pierce anything.

Hiro: Oh….

Ando: They're pretty cool though…_Can I keep it?_

Hiro: Okay, well _stop this!_

Hiro stops time, Claire and Ando freeze in place…._The man is unaffected_.

Hiro: AH!

Man: Sorry, that won't work on me.

He grabs Hiro and flings him across the main hall of the temple. Hiro scrambles up as the hooded man takes a hold of Claire's arm and disappears.

Hiro (shocked): ….wh…..ooohhh noooo……

Hiro gets up and runs back over to Ando, unfreezing him.

Ando: Whoa……..What's going on, where's that guy……wait….Where's the Cheerleader……?

Hiro: ..um…..I don't know…..He took her!

Ando: He took her?!

Hiro: Yeah……..

Ando: _The mother and Mr. Muggles are going to be very mad at you_.

Hiro looks at Ando then turns back, unsure what to do next…..

---The world is going around, and around, and around, and around……..Heroes!---

_Matt, Mohinder, Molly, and Niki_.  
_The Apartment  
Someone needs to take out the trash, it's starting to smell…_

Mohinder walks back into the apartment the dry erase board on the front door reading:

_CHAPTER 4: GONE_

He spots Niki and Matt sitting on the couch watching _Top Chef_. He blocks their view of the television.

Both: Hey! What are you doing?!

Mohinder: I just realized something. We can have Molly try to find where Sylar is again. That way we can finish him off and he'll never terrorize us ever again.

Matt and Niki look at each other.

Matt: I…think that's going to be a little more difficult than you're making it sound.

Mohinder: Nope. All we have to do, well all Niki has to do, is train her mind and focus her concentration on her power. Then she can take on Sylar herself.

Niki: Whoa! Are you at least going to ask me if I want to play along in your little game?

Mohinder: It's not a game, Niki. We have to stop this man from going around and killing people so he can get more power. Yes, you were powerful with uh…._Jessica's help_…

Matt: Tell that to the window.

Mohinder: But now with Telekinetic Abilities you have the upper hand against him. The mind, when used properly, can be stronger than any fist.

Matt: What about guns? Are they stronger than that?

Mohinder: Yes!

Matt: What? Oh come on, some guy comes up to me with a gun what am I going to do…_Solve math problems?!_

Mohinder: No….watch.

Mohinder grabs a knife from the table and walks back over to Matt.

Mohinder: I'm going to stab you!

Matt: Why?

Mohinder: Just….play along!

Matt: oh.

Mohinder: Parkman for instance, can use telepathy and _tell people what to do_ with the mind. Though he hasn't been doing it lately though it would've came in handy!

Matt: Well….

Mohinder: So do it….I'm an assailant with a knife, I'm going to stab you….What do you do?

Matt: ….Is this Multiple Choice?

Mohinder: Ugh….you're going to disarm my weapon with your mind.

Matt: Oh.

Mohinder: Well……do it!

Matt stares as Mohinder, squinting his eyes to the point where they're almost shut.

Matt (thought): ……Stab someone else but me!

Mohinder takes the knife and _stabs himself with it_. –_SHOINK!-_

Niki: -Gasp!- (Covers her mouth)

Matt: Ahh!

Mohinder: _What the hell is wrong with you!?_

Matt: It was an accident!

Niki: Parkman, all you had to do was tell him to throw it away!

Matt: I just told him to stab someone else but me.

Niki: ……._I'm the only other person in the room._

Matt: ……uhhh……

Niki slugs him in the arm, Matt winces.

Mohinder: Okay, well…..

Niki: I guess we're going to the hospital now…

At the Bennet's house. Hiro and Ando teleport in front of the door.

Ando: Hiro, what are we doing back here?

Hiro: I was thinking we should take responsibility for our actions and tell the nice lady that we lost her daughter.

Ando: Don't be stupid, Hiro! You can't do that. We should look for her first!

Hiro: Hmm…..let's try it my way first.

Hiro knocks on the door, Sandra opens it.

Sandra: Oh, hello again.

Hiro: Hello, Mrs. Bennet. My, you look very lovely today. Did you do something to your hair?

Sandra: _YOU LOST CLAIRE!? WAAAAAHHH!_

Hiro freezes time, and thinks for a minute.

-10 Seconds earlier-

Ando: Well, aren't you going to do it?

Hiro: I did.

Ando: Really, just now?

Hiro: Yeah, it didn't go good.

Ando: Oh, and you reset time. I get it.

Hiro: Maybe I can use a different tactic to break the news to her.

Hiro knocks on the doorbell, Sandra answers it sobbing.

Hiro: Uh….hello?

Sandra: Oh, it's you two again. Forgive me, I'm very upset. They cancelled my favorite tv show, Mr. Muggles has food poisoning, and I just burnt my cookies. _If I hear one more upsetting piece of information I'm just going to stick my head in the oven!_

Ando: Then how will you make fresh cookies?

Hiro: Uh…..

Ando looks at Hiro.

Hiro: I'm very sorry to hear that……_but we lost your daughter and she's with a man who's most likely very dangerous_.

Sandra: WHAT!? WAAAAAAAH!

Ando: What did you do that for?

Hiro: I can't lie to her!

Ando: Well, you don't have a choice….

Hiro: Fine!

-20 seconds earlier-

Hiro is about to knock on the door.

Hiro: Wait, Ando….what if we don't tell her anything? Maybe we can try to find Claire and nobody would be the wiser!

Ando: _That was my original plan!_ Before you started to see how many times she can react to the fact that we lost her daughter.

Sandra (standing in the doorway): _YOU LOST CLAIRE?! WAAAAAAH!_

Hiro: Oh, geez…….

-15 seconds earlier-

Ando: Well, aren't you going to knock?

Hiro: Uh…..change of plans.

Hiro and Ando teleport out of there.

_Viktor and Rachel  
Sylar's Hideout  
Sylar's book choice: 1001 Ways To Be Evil And To Put The Good Guys In Their Place. By: Judy Blume_

Rachel: This looks like it.

Viktor: Yeah.

Viktor knocks on the door, inside Sylar is brushing his teeth.

Sylar's Reflection: Someone's here…

Sylar: Good.

He goes up to the door and opens it to find Viktor and Rachel.

Sylar: It's you two.

Viktor: We should talk.

Sylar: Of course, come on in.

Viktor and Rachel enter and take a seat on the couch.

Sylar (thought): I don't remember these weirdos, but if they claim to they have worked with me before, then they must have power. Because _the only reason I would work with anyone is to take that power,_ because anything else would be just pointless.

Viktor: So, has anything come back to you since we last talked?

Sylar: Unfortunately no, but please…….catch me up. I'm very interested in what you have to say…

Viktor: Heh, I can't really shake this feeling that you're plotting something.

Sylar: Me? Nah….

Viktor: I hope you don't think I forgot what you can do…….unless you forgot that too?

Sylar hops over the table and grabs Viktor, hurling him across the room. He picks up Rachel by the neck.

Viktor (scrambling to his feet): You're making a big mistake, Gabriel…

Rachel manages to grab Sylar's arm….._a coating of ice starts to spread across his skin_.

Sylar: Wha……

Sylar throws her up against the wall.

Rachel: Urk…

Viktor slumps back to the floor in a trance, an ethereal form of himself materializes next to Sylar. Viktor's projected form walks into Sylar's body.

Sylar (Viktor): The thing is, I think you forgot what I can do….

Sylar walks over to the hallway. _His back turned, he digs through some drawers, pulling out a gun_. He points the barrel to his head.

Sylar (Viktor): Now we can talk….

_Peter Petrelli  
Angela Petrelli's Fortress Of Doom  
For Dessert: Tiramisu_….._Excellent…_

Peter walks across the bridge (over the moat) and up to the main gate.

Peter: Man, I never wished she bought this castle, it's creepy.

Castle Guard: State your name!

Peter: Peter Petrelli.

Guard: State your business!

Peter: I'm here to see my mother.

Guard: There's no one here by that name.

Peter: What?

Guard: Are you referring to _The Queen_?

Peter: You have got to be joking….

Guard: Castle Guards don't joke, sir.

Peter: Fine, I need to see the Queen.

Guard: Fine…..only if you can answer these 3 riddles.

Peter: Oh for the love of….

Guard: If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is around to hear it. Can it be heard?

Peter: Um….well, it would've been heard if someone was around to hear it…..Did you tell that right? I could've sworn it went….

Guard: Correct! Next Riddle!

Peter: Fine.

Guard: If a Lumberjack cuts his leg off in the middle of the forest and no one is around to help him; will he die?

Peter: Um…..eventually I guess…..from all the bleeding. Unless he can find something to stop it….but…I don't know I would think eventually.

Guard: Correct!

Peter: Can I go in now!?

Guard: 1 more riddle…

Peter: Whatever…

Guard: _If a tree falls on a lumberjack who just accidentally cut his leg off, and no one is around to help_; how much wood could a Wood Chuck chuck if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood?

Peter; ……I'm going in now. Please raise the gates….

Angela Petrelli is sitting on her throne in the throne room, with Nathan standing next to her. Peter walks in.

Angela: Peter! This is a surprise…

Peter: Yeah, _have you ever thought about replacing your castle guards?_

Angela: Yeah, all they do is ask riddles…I don't know why…

Peter: Uh huh….

Angela: Well, Peter….What brings you here to visit your dear old mother…

Peter: I know you're hiding something from me….about the incident last month. I found out about your conversation with Mohinder and you two have been keeping me in the dark. The other day, you're all "_Don't jump off building's Peter, I love you and you're my favorite son and you're much better than Nathan!" _

Nathan: Yeah, we don't need to get into that…

Peter: What was it? Just lying to your son just so he won't find out the truth…..what are you afraid of?

Angela: Enough! I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Peter.

Peter: No! I'm not going anywhere…..You are going to tell me what happened….or else.

Angela: Or else what?

Peter: I'll find out…..by force.

Angela: …..Define 'force'.

Peter squints, trying to read his mother's mind.

Angela (singing in thought): _Oops! I did it again_…._I played with your heart_…._Got lost in the game_…_oh baby, baby_….

Peter: Ah crap!...Man, _I'm disappointed and disturbed, all at the same time!_

Angela: -Gasp!-…..You can read minds again?!

Peter: Yes, and I can do _Precognitive Artwork_, which I tried to show Nathan, but he just ignored it, which I found extremely rude; and that is why I think _I should get more presents than him for Christmas this year_…

Angela: GUARDS! Put him away!

Peter: You're arresting me?

Angela: It's for your own good Peter…

Peter (being dragged off): Wait! You never answered my question….You won't get away with this!...

Nathan: Don't you think arresting him is a little much?

Angela: I can't take any chances Nathan. If he continues like this and reverts back to his old self…..I might have to take it a step further…

Nathan: You're going to kill him!?

Angela: Well, I was thinking more along the lines of no dessert, but your idea is good too.

Angela gets up and walks out of the Throne Room.

Nathan: ……

_Claire Bennet  
Someplace unknown, a shack of some sort.  
Oooh! It's the talking mice from Cinderella!_..._oh wait, it's not_…._sure looks like em though…_

Claire: Wh….where…..where am I?

The hooded man from the temple has his back turned, working on something.

Claire: Who are you? Where are Hiro and…..that other guy…

Man: Ando.

Claire: Oh……wait, how do you know who we are?

Man: I know more about you than you think, Claire…

Claire: Now you know my name, what are you hiding?!

Man: Well, you're still wearing your '_Good Burger_' name tag, but I knew your name anyway.

Claire: So….what do you have planned for me?

Man: Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you….I just need to use you so I can lure someone to me….so I can kill this person…

Claire: Oh……I see. Well, can you loosen this rope, it's a little tight.

Man: Better get used to it…..

The hooded man walks over and stands Claire up on her feet.

Man: We're going to take a little _train trip_….

_Micah Sanders  
Camp Yellowfoot  
Where the fun never begins, and the boredom never ends._

Camp Leader Steve walks into the cabins of some of the fellow campers.

Steve: Okay, Campers! Get up and get ready, we need to get prepared to do our morning exercises!

The campers get up and march out, Steve looks at Micah still asleep in bed, with the covers over his head.

Steve: Sanders! Up and out! Let's get moving!

Steve pulls off the covers to find pillows in the place of Micah's body. He is nowhere to be found.

Steve: -Gasp!-

He runs over and gets on the intercom.

Steve: _We got a runner! I repeat; We have a runner!..._Release the hounds!

Elsewhere Micah is crawling under a hole in the fence. He takes off running in the forest. A little later, Micah stops running when the coast is clear. He pulls out his cell phone and flips it open.

Micah: Darn, no signal…..

Micah looks at the screen; he uses his ability to make _the bars appear back onscreen indicating he has service again_. He dials the phone…

Niki's cell phone rings, which is on the kitchen table back at Mohinder's but no one's home.

Micah: Come on, mom…..answer…..

No luck.

Micah puts the phone back in his pocket and runs for it. He reaches civilization back in the city, but not before some of the hounds catch up to him.

Hound: Woof! Grrrr…….

Micah: Uh…..here, doggy. Fetch the stick.

Micah throws a rather large stick at the dog, which bonks him in the head, which of course doesn't make him happy.

Hound: GRRRRRRRRR!

Micah: That didn't work….

Micah looks around and he sees a fire truck driving by on the street. Micah looks back at the dog as he makes _the fire truck's alarm start blaring_ which makes it start howling.

Fireman Bob: What the? Did you turn on the siren?

Fireman Ed: No….It just turned on…

Bob: Don't be stupid, fire sirens don't just turn on….

Taken advantage of the hound being distracted, Micah runs across the street, about to seek shelter in a nearby hospital when he finds some of the Camp Leaders searching around for him. Micah panics and runs the other way. Inside the hospital…

Doctor: Well, Mr. Suresh, you are a very lucky man.

Mohinder: If you say so…..

Doctor: Just in the future…._don't be stabbing yourself_. It can hurt.

Mohinder: You don't have to tell me twice.

Matt: Yes, Mohinder, knives are bad, and so are drugs…..and talking to strangers…..you know, I learned something today.

Niki: I can assure you, _we're all floored from shock_.

Matt: Sometimes when we…

Mohinder, Niki, and the Doctor walk out of the room. –_SLAM!-_

Matt: Well then….Don't learn a valuable lesson, see if I care……..See?...Not caring…….._Hey, don't leave me here!_

Matt runs out of the office.

Back at Angela's castle, Nathan walks into the Royal Den.

Nathan: Mom, you can't keep Pete locked up.

Angela: I'm pretty sure I think I can.

Nathan: You know he's going to remember sooner or later.

Angela: Not if I can help it….._for I have a secret weapon that will make sure he never remembers_…

Nathan: You're going to use the Haitian?!

Angela: Actually, I was just going to give him this special tea that destroys people's memories….but your idea is good too!

Nathan: I have got to stop doing that……

Angela: Nathan, I know you must think I'm evil for doing this, but one day when you get older….you'll understand.

Nathan: Um….mom, _I'm 42_…..How much older do I need to be to understand your unorthodox methods of proper parenting?

Angela: Ok, I didn't tell you this….but…….the truth is….

Down in the Prison.

Peter: _She had a vision?!_ She lied to me, had everyone else lie to me, and threw me in prison because she had a crackpot vision of the future? _I'm the one that has visions_, not her!

Nathan: Well, that's what she said.

Peter: So, what are you going to do?

Nathan: I'm going to bust you out later tonight when security calms down. But…..I'll get some help.

Nathan walks out of the dungeon; he leaves the castle and takes a running jump, flying upward toward the sky, soaring off.

Back at Mohinder's, there's a knock at the door. Molly, _who was left home by herself_, runs up and answers the door to find Micah there.

Molly: Oh hey, I remember you…Micah?

Micah: Yeah. Hey, um, I am trying to look for my mom. I went back home and found this address. Is she here?

Molly: Oh well, she's been staying here trying to have Mohinder help her with her ability….but the keep getting distracted.

Micah: Oh, that's good. Is she here?

Molly: No, they had to run up to the hospital. Matt accidentally had Mohinder stab himself.

Micah: Oh…..ok…..Do you know when they'll be back.

Molly: Mohinder just called and said they're on their way back. You can stay here until they get home.

Micah: Great, thanks!

Micah walks in as Molly closes the door behind him. Outside of the apartment, Sylar, Viktor, and Rachel stand on the sidewalk.

Sylar: This is where they live.

Viktor: Let me see something…..

Viktor's eyes roll back….he astral projects in front of Mohinder's door. He walks through and checks out the living room. He spots Molly and Micah on the couch watching Tv. He sneaks pasts them and looks over the other empty rooms. The form phases out of the room as Molly turns around.

Micah: Something wrong?

Molly: Nothing…..I thought I heard something…..

Viktor wakes up back outside.

Rachel: What did you find? Is Suresh in there?

Viktor: No…..but something better….

They walk off as Sylar looks at his reflection in the window.

Sylar's Reflection: Okay, we're on to something….

Sylar: Yeah, I don't know how much more I can take of these two. I need to find Suresh. Having super strength is all fun and dandy, but it's not doing me much good with Casper and The Ice Queen on my back.

Sylar's Reflection: Stick with them a little longer….the time will come….and both of their powers will be yours.

Sylar: That's what I like to hear…

Hiro and Ando are eating lunch at Burger King.

Hiro: Okay, Ando….We're going to take this from the top…..-Ahem-……Mrs. Bennet, I have something to tell you.

Ando, with a fake dog, pretends to be Mrs. Bennet.

Hiro: Ando, you're doing it wrong. You have to look more concerned….and _you're holding Mr. Muggles upside down!_

Ando: I can't believe you're thinking about telling the mother, there's no easy way of telling her this!

Hiro: Well, I don't know what to do Ando. I don't know where to even begin looking, that man……he's evil.

Ando: Well yeah…..I wonder where he took her……he can teleport.

Hiro: Hmm……wait, maybe we can go back.

Ando: Go back to 18th Century China?

Hiro: Yes, we can go back and bring Claire before he does anything.

Ando: Wait, maybe he's a time traveler, like you.

Hiro: Huh?

Ando: Remember, you told me that he wasn't affected when you froze time, a teleporter couldn't do that. That and he knows who we are, he knew the cheerleader. How could some a man who only teleports knows this information a few hundred years ago?

Hiro: You're right, Ando! Good thinking there!

Ando: Thanks!

Hiro: For being such a quick thinker, I offer you my apple pie, my gift to you.

Ando: Actually, it was _my apple pie_…..and you ate it already!

Hiro: There you go, solving another mystery. You know we're in the wrong line of work.

They're suddenly joined by Nathan.

Nathan: There you are, I've been looking for you.

Before Hiro and lift his arms up and shout '_Flying Man_', Nathan covers his mouth.

Hiro: _FL…_MMPH!

Nathan: Don't do that, people will think you're crazy.

Hiro: Oh…..

Nathan: I need your help.

Hiro: You…..need….._my_…..help?

Nathan: Yes….I need you to break my brother out of prison.

Hiro: Peter's in prison?

Nathan: Yeah, well….sort of…….It's our mother who is keeping him imprisoned.

Hiro: I see.

Nathan: Last month there was an incident and he lost his memory of it, along with the majority of his powers. My mother has been preventing people from telling him what happened in fear he will remember and go on a rampage and destroy the world from this crazy vision she had.

Hiro: Vision?

Ando: She had a vision of the end of the world too?

Hiro: Well, we're not going to mess with that, Ando…._you know where it got us last time_.

Ando: Can he help us?

Nathan: Help you what?

Hiro: Well….we're trying to find someone we lost. We don't know where she is and don't know where to look.

Nathan: Well, you could ask Dr. Suresh, the child, Molly Walker, lives with him. She can find people.

Hiro: Ando, did you hear that!?

Ando: Yes, Hiro, I was only a few feet away when he said it.

Hiro: Great. Listen, if you can help us get Claire back, we can help you break out Peter Petrelli!

Nathan: ….Claire?

Hiro: Yeah, the Cheerleader. See?

He holds up a picture of her to Nathan, who stands there for a second, kinda lost.

Nathan: Uh….

Hiro: Something wrong?

Nathan: Nope…..not at all……..Is she in trouble or something?

Hiro: We think so, some strange man took her. And we need…Molly, you said….to find her. Because this guy is really bad news.

Nathan: I see.

Hiro: So, will you help us find her. Then we rescue your brother?

Nathan: Better idea….you help me break out Peter; help him remember everything….then he'll be able to get Claire back in no time.

Hiro: I like that idea too. You two…..always with the good ideas…..

Nathan watches Hiro and Ando leave the restaurant; he grabs the photo of Claire Hiro accidentally left on the table and shoves it in his pocket.

Back at Mohinder's apartment. Niki, Matt, and Mohinder go into the living room. Matt checks the answering machine.

_BEEP!_

Voice: Yes, Mrs. Sanders, I'm calling from the Yellowfoot Camp, we regret to inform you that your son Micah has…well….left the premises. We're terribly sorry and we have every man, woman, and bloodthirsty hound looking for him. Please accept this $5 dollar Olive Garden certificate as a token of our apology. Thanks!

Niki: WHAT!?...I can't believe this!

Matt: I know, _what in the world could you get at the Olive Garden for only 5 bucks?!_

Niki: He could be lost somewhere. Oooh, that camp is going to get it!

She checks her phone.

Niki: Crap, and I left my phone here, he tried to call me.

Mohinder, walking around the other rooms.

Mohinder: Molly's gone…

Niki looks over by the tv, she spots….

Niki: This is Micah's backpack…

Matt: So, Micah left camp, came here, and now he and Molly were kidnapped?

Mohinder: It looks like it….okay, we have to go find them.

The three of them leave the apartment.

A carp pulls up to the train station. Viktor, Sylar, Rachel get out and bring along Micah and Molly with them. They make their way up the stairs _when another car charges into the parking lot, crashing into the passenger side_. –_CRRAAAASH!-_

Elle (driving): There she is!..._Come on, Angels!_

Elle hops out of the car and starts to climb the stairs.

Noah (in the front seat): Why did you let her drive?!

Haitian: We all make mistakes…

Noah: Come on…

The two of them get out of the car and follow Elle inside, to find her stopped dead in her tracks.

Noah: What's wrong now?

They are head to head with….

Haitian: It's the girl…

Noah: With Sylar….

Elle: ….and Viktor….

Noah: Oh no….please don't tell me that Rachel's partner in crime just so happens to be the boyfriend she took from you from that _stupid Luau _you were telling us about.

Elle: …..

Noah: It is, isn't it?! Oh good lord, this is just priceless!

Elle: Well, I didn't know he was _working with her_, give me a break….

Viktor: Well, hello Elle…..long time no see….

Elle grumbles to herself, slightly closing her hand as electricity flickers through her fingertips.

Viktor: I wouldn't do that, Elle…..don't do something you're going to regret later….

Noah (to Haitian): Why isn't Sylar doing anything?...You know, like killing us?

Haitian: Beats me……

Noah: Why do you have Walker and Niki's son?

Viktor: That's really none of your business, Noah.

Noah: What? I'm Noah Bennet…_everything's my business_.

Viktor: We are about to board the train…..without you.

Noah: Over my dead body….

The three of them start to charge forward. Rachel drops down to one knee and spreads her arms out, a sheet of ice slides across the ground as Noah, Elle, and The Haitian slip and fall backward.

Noah: Ow…..I forgot she can do that…

Elle: That stung….a lot…..

Viktor: Now….stay right there Bennet…..I don't want to hurt anybody else….

The mysterious hooded man from the temple brings out Claire.

Viktor: Thank you, you've done well.

Hooded Man: Your welcome, the trap has been set?

Viktor: Yeah, it has….

Hooded Man: Good….I'll be waiting…

He teleports out of the room as Noah scrambles to his feet.

Noah: Claire!?

Claire: Dad, I'm sorry I went on that mission, even though you told me I could.

Noah: What are you…..oh wait…._damn Mohinder; I'm going to kill him_….

Viktor pulls out a gun and holds it to Claire's side.

Elle: Yeah, just go ahead and try that, Buster! Claire is indestructible; you can shoot her anywhere and it won't do anything!

Viktor moves the gun barrel _to the back of her head_.

Elle: _Except for that spot right there_….

Noah glares at Elle.

Elle: Whoopsie….

Viktor: Allright then, we'll be leaving now…..

They go off and board the train.

Haitian: Now what?

Elle: Oooooh! I just hate them! Especially since _that floozy stole my boyfriend at the Luau!_

Noah (glaring at Elle): We'll if we could continue without hearing more from this week's episode of _Days of Our Lives_….

Elle: Sorry…

Noah: Let's go……we have to find a way to get on that train.

_To Be Continued_.

Next Week on Heroes…

Nathan: I can't just explain what happened…so you're going to have to take him back to that night….

Hiro: Oh….

Peter: Oh….

-One Month Ago-

Noah (holding up a gun): You're making a big mistake…don't do this!

Someone's voice: These people made me do this…

Peter is walking around; he bumps into his past self.

Past Peter: What the?!

Present Peter: Uh oh….

-Back to the Present-

Claire: Just what do you plan to do….

Sylar: Why do people keep asking me that? You know what I do….

Claire: Oh right….

Sylar: I'm going to kill you, take your power, then kill then girl, and take her power. Then no one can stop me…

Heroes continues, next week….


	5. Lost And Found

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 5: Lost And Found

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, powers, it's all theirs. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. None of The Justice League's Health Benefits were harmed in the filming of this episode.

Peter: _Previously on Heroes_.

Hiro and Ando stand behind Claire in the temple of the supposedly alive Shinko.

Hooded Man: You can't stop me…

He throws Hiro across the room and disappears with Claire.

Hiro and Ando at Burger King.

Ando: Maybe he's a time traveler.

Hiro: Interesting…

Nathan: I need your help to bust Peter out of Prison….then I'll help you find whoever it is you're looking for.

Hiro: Claire Bennet…you know, the Cheerleader…

Nathan: Uh……

Mohinder: What did you do!? You just made me stab myself.

Matt: You know you just answered your own question.

Niki: I guess we're off to the hospital now….

Niki's cell phone rings, its Micah running through the forest…

Scoutmaster Bob: We have a runner! Micah Sanders has escaped!

Molly (opening the door to Micah): She's not here, but you can stay until she gets back…

Viktor: He doesn't remember us…but he will….

Viktor astral projects into Sylar's body and puts a gun up to his head.

Sylar's Reflection: Stick with them just a little longer…..both of their powers will be yours…

Elle: I'm looking for her; you're looking for her….it only makes sense that we work together.

Elle crashes the car into the parked one at the train station.

Noah: Where are you taking Claire!?

Viktor: On the train…where else?...And you won't be following us…

Noah, Elle, and The Haitian slip and fall on their backs from the ice floor created by Rachel.

Viktor: Let's go…..

Noah: We need to find a way to get on that train…..

_Matt, Mohinder, and Niki  
Driving in their car, frantically looking for Micah  
Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer, he's a demon on wheels!_..._He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin after someone!_...

Mohinder is driving the car while Niki makes some phone calls. Matt is hanging out the passenger side window handing out photos.

Matt: Have you seen this kid? His name is Micah…..Or if you've seen this one, her name is Molly, course it would be better with her because she could find Micah and we can kill two birds with one stone….

Man: Uh…..no, never seen him.

Matt: Oh, it's hopeless.

Mohinder: Well, we have to keep looking…..

Niki (hanging up the phone): Well, I called the police, so they'll keep a lookout.

Matt: How do we know they were even kidnapped? They could've gone to the Ice Cream Shop! That's where I would've ran to…

Niki: Parkman, let me see those photos.

Matt: Oh, it was just a photo of Micah I grabbed and made copies of so I can hand them out to people.

Niki: _Parkman, these are the pictures from my ultrasound when I was pregnant with Micah, you moron!_

Matt: So?

Niki: Well, nobody's going to recognize him!

Matt: I do…..see (pointing)….those are his eyes…..that's his mouth……I think that's a foot.

Niki: Unbelievable…..

_Bennet, Elle, and The Haitian  
The Train Station  
The best in the entire Nation_……_Hey that rhymes!_

Elle: Why can't we just force our way on the train!? I make with the _zapping_ and people fall down, we board. It's not that difficult Mr. B!

Noah: You're not getting it Elle, these people cannot be judged lightly. They have Rachel and Sylar, so they are extremely dangerous.

Elle: We're dangerous too! I can fry them, Sparky here….

Haitian: It's 'Sparky' now?

Elle: Sparky can wipe their memory….and you…..uh……hmm……scold people and look menacing……

Noah: _Scold people and look menacing?_

Elle: Yeah…..like between you and Claire…..(In a whiny Claire voice) _But Daddy, I wanna try out for Cheerleading!_ (Deep Noah Voice): _No Claire Bear, you'll get your head chopped off! _(Whiny Claire)_ BUT WHY!?_ (Deep Noah Voice) _Because I'm your father and I said so and blah, blah, blah _(Whiny Claire, shaking her fists, and stomping her feet)_ But I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! _

Noah: Claire does not sound like that!...I don't either!

Elle: Just sayin…..

Haitian: The train is about to take off….

Noah: This way, hurry….

They run outside to the car that is totaled.

Elle: Oh right, forgot about that.

Noah: We're going to have to steal a car.

Elle: What?! I suggest we stowaway on the train and save the day and you say it's wrong. You want to steal an innocent bystander's means of transportation and it's the _idea of the century?_ What a rip-off!

They walk around looking at cars.

Elle: I like this one!

The owner of the car pops up.

Man: Hello, I noticed you staring at my car….

Haitian: Well, the man hasn't done anything wrong; we could at least ask….it would be nice….

Elle: _NICE!?_...You want to be…._nice?!_...EW!

Noah: Just think of something before he gets suspicious….

Elle (screaming): _Can I zap him and make him fall down_?

Man: WHAT!?

Noah: Way to be discreet there, Elle.

Man: Are you suggesting you want to borrow my car?

Haitian: Yes….this is an emergency….

Elle: You could just wipe his mind and take his keys…..I swear, I should be the leader……

Man: Well, the answer is no! It's my car…..and nobody can have it….

Haitian: Well, we tried……

Noah pulls out a gun to the man's head.

Noah: You see, I'm usually pretty nice about these things but you are preventing me from saving a member of my family….and when somebody does that they….

_ZAAAAAP!_

The man gets fried and goes down, with Elle standing over him.

Noah: You interrupted my speech!

Elle: He has a bumper sticker promoting _cruelty to animals_! He must be punished!

Haitian: Well, I guess it was for a good cause….I guess…..

Elle drops down next to the body.

Elle: Got the keys! Let's drive!

Elle hops into the driver's seat, Haitian jumps in the back….Noah is still in disbelief.

Noah: You….interrupted my speech…….

_Hiro, Nathan, Ando  
Angela Petrelli's Castle  
Some of the rooms in this castle were NOT used in the filming of Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

Hiro: Wow…..a castle…..I'm impressed.

Ando: Yeah……how old is this…castle?

Nathan: I don't know….mom likes being in control of everything and won this on Ebay. Now she hardly leaves it….

Hiro: And Peter….he is in a prison….inside this castle?

Nathan: Yeah. I need you to take him back to the incident a month ago so he can start remembering his powers completely.

Hiro: I can do that…..

Meanwhile, the entire scene is being watched by Angela through a magical crystal ball.

Angela: So….they're going to break out Peter, huh? Well…..I can't let them get away with that. _And I sure am glad I got this crystal ball to keep watch over the area, it's very handy_.

Angela walks over and picks up a broomstick.

Angela (to her _flying monkey guards)_: Okay, my minions! Fly! Fly and capture them!

The Flying Monkey Guards jump out of the window to the _Wicked Witch of the West_ theme….._FLOP! SPLAT! WHAP! POW! SLAM!_...Angela looks at the Ebay description of the castle which also says (_The Monkey guards are just for looks, they do not really fly)_……

Angela (looking down from the window at the monkeys on the ground): Tsk…tsk……._Oh, well NOW he tells me_…..

---World's turning, eclipse is a showing………….Heroes!---

_Peter Petrelli  
The Petrelli Family Castle Prison  
Tally marks on the wall: A lot_

In the dank, dark, prison cell of Angela's Fortress. We see Peter, sitting on the floor. On the wall next to him reads:

_CHAPTER 5: LOST AND FOUND_

Peter (getting up): Hello?...Anybody there?...Can someone save me?..._I'd save myself but all I know how to do is paint and read minds!_...Hello?

Hiro, Ando and Nathan appear in front of the cell.

Peter: Nathan!...You brought Hiro to come and rescue me! You're an awesome brother! _I take back all the bad things I said about you 2 and a half minutes ago_.

Nathan: What?

Hiro: Peter Petrelli…..We are going to take a trip……

Peter: A trip?...What kind of trip?

Hiro (wiggling his fingers): _Throuuuuugh Tiiiiiiiiime! Woooooooooooo! Scary!_

Nathan shoots Hiro an awkward look.

Hiro: Sorry, just felt like doing that.

Peter: I don't understand.

Nathan: I'm really not getting it myself either…..

Hiro: I am going to take you back in time to the past, that day you lost your memory so you can find out what happened and be back to the normal you…sound good?

Nathan: Okay.

Hiro: Now remember the past is a delicate balance of life…..and can not be tampered with…..for if anything is set out of order…..it can change history…._FOREVER!_

Nathan: Or until you go back into the past again and fix your mistakes…..

Hiro: _My mistakes!?_ What do you mean by that?

Nathan: Um….let's get back to the plan….

Hiro: So remember, Peter, you can only see the past, not alter it. No talking to anybody, no stepping on cockroaches……_and no using the bathroom_.

Peter: _I can't use the bathroom!?_

Hiro: Especially no using the restroom _For one flush could bring Hitler back_!...Do you want that, Peter? Do you?!...Do you!?

Peter: No, that would be awful……..

Nathan: This only happened a month ago, it wouldn't bring Hitler back! That's ridiculous!

Hiro (to Peter): Excuse us…..

Peter: Uh, sure…..

Hiro escorts Nathan to the side; they bicker for a couple of seconds. They return.

Hiro: Okay, we're finished!

Hiro teleports into Peter's cell; He puts his hand on his shoulder and the both of them vanish.

_Noah, Haitian, and Elle  
The Train Station  
Take a ride on the Reading Railroad! Advance your token to the nearest Railroad_……._that's it_..._almost there_….._HA! I own all 4 of them, sucka! Pay up!_

Elle: We have a slight problem….

Noah: What?

Elle: The car will not start.

Noah: That's just great…

Elle: Well, it's a good thing we got on that train….oh, wait, that's right…_We didn't!_

Noah: Well, we don't have time for _Storm_ to electrocute someone else….let's see if we can get on the train.

The three of them bail out of the car and run back into the station.

Conductor: ALL ABOARD! The train is about to depart!

They walk toward the train in an attempt to get on, but fail.

Conductor: Uh….tickets?

Elle: Oh, no thank you…..Maybe some other time..

Conductor: No, you need tickets to board the train!

Elle: Oh….really? Well….._I have a ticket_…..(electricity starts to flow through her fingers)

Noah: What are you doing?! There are cameras everywhere, are you trying to expose yourself and cause a scene?

Elle: Ugh, you're no fun…..

Conductor: I need your tickets or you people need to leave!

Elle: Hey, I don't think you realize who we are….

Conductor (Looking at The Haitian): Wait……whoa…..wait a minute…..I know who you are……._You're Seal!_

Haitian: Huh?!

Conductor: You are! I knew I recognized you! I just love your music!

Haitian: I think you are mista…..

Elle: Yes! That's _Seal_ all right……and I am his mega hot wife, _Heidi Klum!_

Noah stifles his laughter as Elle shoots him a glaring look.

Conductor: Wow! I am just star struck! Sorry about the misunderstanding…..I suppose I can let celebrities like yourselves on this one time!

Elle: Awesome! Thanks.

Elle and Haitian board the train, Noah follows.

Noah: I'm the bodyguard.

Conductor: I see……

The conductor is about to shut the door when _the real Seal and Heidi Klum_ approach.

Seal: Oh, Heidi my darling. I sure do love a train trip!

Heidi: Oh yes, darling. It is so wonderful.

Seal (to the conductor): Yes, here are our tickets.

Conductor: _Seal and Heidi Klum?_ Don't make me laugh……hmph…._imposters!_

The conductor closes the door as the train takes off.

_Hiro and Peter  
Mysterious Mansion  
Approx. 1 Month, 6 Days, 17 Hours, 32 Minutes, 19 Seconds Ago_

Hiro and Peter appear in a hallway of someone's house.

Peter: Whew!

Hiro: Now we need to be careful…._since my last trip to the past did not turn out very well_.

Peter: Right……Hmm….this place does seem kinda familiar.

Hiro: Good….now, from what little information your brother has told me, we need to…

_-CRUNCH!-_

Hiro and Peter stop and slowly look to the ground to Peter's feet. Hiro glares at Peter.

Hiro: Did you just do…..

Peter: _It was an M&M!_

Hiro: No it wasn't! You just stepped on a cockroach!

Peter: It was an accident!

Hiro: Great, you just altered the fabric of time and space forever. I hope you're happy…

Peter: Well…..can't we….._restart?_

Hiro: This isn't _Super Mario_, Peter. We don't get restarts!

Peter from the past walks up and spots Peter and Hiro.

Past Peter: Hey! What the?!

Peter: Uh oh.

Hiro: Ahhhh! Better restart!

They teleport out of there….ending in a field somewhere.

Peter: Where are we now?

Hiro: I….think I accidentally sent us back to the present.

Peter: Oh…..well, nothings changed……See? And you were worried about….

Suddenly, all sorts of people start marching past them into a building. On a giant television screen, _Angela Petrelli _appears.

Angela: HA! HA! Do my bidding! For I, Angela Petrelli, _am ruler of Earth!_

Peter: Oh no, no, no, no, no…..Take us back! Take us back!

They teleport out of the mayhem and back to the past.

Hiro: Okay….now don't mess anything up this time!

Peter: I promise, not one thing will be change in the…

_-CRUNCH!_-

Hiro walks on, not noticing.

Peter: Whew!

_Claire, Molly, Micah, Viktor, Sylar, Rachel, and some other passengers  
The Train  
Next Stop: The Land Of Make Believe_

Sylar is sitting in a chair across from Claire.

Claire: And what are you going to do to me? You've been sitting there for half an hour…….

Sylar: What? Can I not sit here and enjoy the sights?

Sylar turns to look out the window at a _slaughterhouse with giant windows looking onto the display on how pigs are processed._

Sylar: Hmm…..

Claire: Gross….

Sylar: So, I'm just…..a guest, tagging along.

Claire: Are those two your friends?

Sylar: No!

Claire: Then why haven't you killed them yet?

Sylar: Because…….I'm waiting for the right time.

Claire: …..

Sylar: …..

Claire: -Gasp!-…._You lost your powers!_

Sylar jumps up and duck tapes Claire's mouth shut.

Claire: mmphrmm………

Viktor enters the cabin.

Viktor: Gabriel, this way……_Why do you have her mouth taped?_

Sylar: Well…..just in case.

Viktor: Ah, well…..Come over here.

Sylar walks into the next cabin as Claire tries to wiggle out of her restraints. He sees Rachel and Viktor standing over Micah and Molly are sitting there, not tied up….

Sylar: Ah, I see everything is…..set up here.

Viktor: Yeah, we're just getting started. Do it…..

Sylar: Do…..what?

Viktor: …..Kill her.

Sylar: The girl?

Viktor: Uh, yeah.

Sylar: Um…..okay. But….why again?

Viktor: We are trying to find (holding up a picture) this man. He has a vast amount of Government secrets and we're going to take them and use them….to our advantage.

Sylar: _You're going to blackmail the Government?_...Can you even do that?!

Viktor: Your job isn't to ask questions, Gabriel. I know the girl won't do it so we need someone who will…..and that someone is you. Take her ability….

Molly looks at Sylar.

Sylar: Right…..well…….._Why can't you do it?_

Viktor: I can only control body's physical forms, not their minds. Now for the last time, kill her!

Sylar: Okay……_does anybody have a knife_?

Viktor and Rachel look at each other.

Viktor: You…..don't have your power anymore…..

Sylar: No, but I do have something better.

Sylar jumps forward and through Viktor's body, apparently a projected vision of himself.

Viktor: Tsk….tsk…..I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid you're no longer useful to me.

Viktor merges himself into Sylar's body again. He goes to the train door and opens it and the ground flies by. Sylar (Viktor) jumps up and grabs onto a railing. Viktor remains holding on as Sylar tumbles out onto the ground. He closes the door and walks back over to Rachel and the children.

Viktor: I guess we are going to have to do this the hard way after all.

Meanwhile, Claire wiggles out of her restraints and tears off the tape. She scrambles for her cell phone, dialing her father's number.

_Matt, Mohinder, and Niki  
Driving Around  
Amount of gas in the car: About half_

Mohinder's phone rings, he picks it up.

Mohinder (not checking the caller id): Yeah?

Claire: Dad! I managed to buy me some time. They haven't hurt me or anything.

Mohinder: Who is…..wait, Claire?

Claire: Who is this?

Mohinder: Uh oh.

Matt: _We're you just busted_?

Mohinder: Shut up!

Claire: What!?

Mohinder: No, not you….him!

Claire: Who?

Mohinder: Matt.

Matt: What?

Mohinder: No, I'm talking to Claire!

Claire: How do you know me, who is this?!

Mohinder: I'm not talking to you.

Claire: What?

Matt: Why not?

Mohinder: No….just everybody shut up for 5 seconds!

Niki: That's it; we're driving in separate cars next time……

Mohinder: Claire. This is Dr. Mohinder Suresh.

Claire: Oh, yeah I know you….but why are you using my father's number?

Mohinder: I can explain later…..are you being held hostage?

Claire: Yes. Me and two kids, I didn't see who they are though.

Mohinder: Noah's daughter is being held hostage with two children. They have to be Molly and Micah.

Niki: What?! Where are they?

Mohinder (putting her on speakerphone): Where are you?

Claire: We're on a train….I don't know which one…..I see a McDonalds……we just passed a slaughterhouse.

Matt: Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable about _The Slaughterhouse being next to The McDonalds?_ Ugh….

Mohinder: Oh, I don't know where to look…..

Matt: Could _this_ be the train?

Mohinder looks out the window; the car is stopped in front of a Railroad Crossing as a train is zooming by.

Mohinder: Claire, do you see our car?

Claire (looking around): I see an ugly looking Buick!

Matt: That's us!

The train passes by and continues on.

Mohinder: That's the train! Go after it.

Matt: But the bar thingy is down, I can't go through it.

Niki: -Ahem-……(Cracks her fingers)

Matt: Uhhhhh…..of course I can in emergencies!

Matt floors it and the car busts through the Railroad Crossing Bar, racing down the train track closing in on the train itself.

Peter and Hiro are back to the past again. They are walking down a hallway in a mansion of some sort, they past by someone's portrait.

Peter: This man…..I think I recognize him.

He reads the inscription.

Peter: Richard Prescott…..Hmm. Wait!...I think I'm getting a flashback!

Hiro: Peter, you don't need a flashback….we're already here.

Peter: Oh….okay, well….this way!

They go down the hall and stop at a room. The man in the portrait, Richard and Noah Bennet are talking.

Noah: I can't let you do this, Richard. It's….it's insane.

Richard: You can't stop me Bennet…….this is my destiny.

Richard turns around and holds up a syringe.

Noah: What is that?

Richard: This special serum that I hold in my hand is the key…..to saving the world.

Noah: How?

Richard: Simple. You take it and stick it right here (pointing the needle to his neck) the liquid will make it's way up to the brain….the central source of people's….special abilities.

Noah: You're going to kill them?!

Richard: No, it's not that harmful. The disabling serum is only targeted to one portion of the brain; you can guess which portion that is.

Noah: Why are you doing this?

Richard: Because….a world filled with these super powered freaks is not a world for my precious Rachel…..

Noah: Uh, did you forget that she has powers too? Just throwin that out there….

Richard: _Well it wasn't her fault_! She must have…..caught it from someone…..because she didn't get it from me!

Noah: That has got to be the _stupidest_ thing I've ever heard!

Richard: But the last straw was when she started to receive discrimination from it…..

-Flashback-

Rachel: Hi, I would be interested in enrolling in school.

Professor Xavier: Let's see……we need to make sure you have good enough credentials if you were to be a student here at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters….what is your power?

Rachel: Uh…..I can make ice!

Xavier: Oh, I'm sorry my dear…._But we already have someone who can do that_……Application Denied! –_STAMP!_-

Rachel: WHAT!?

-Fin-

Noah: I'm going to pretend I didn't listen to that…

Richard: Well, anyway I'm going to start this on the first of my patients…..

He opens a door to reveal Sylar on a table, propelled up in a vertical position.

Noah: Sylar?...How?...

Richard: I know some people….

Noah: Oh, you're going to use it on Sylar first…..well, go ahead! Don't let me stop you…

Elsewhere, Nathan is walking around.

Nathan: Peter! Peter, where are you!?

He stops at the dead cockroach that was stepped on by Peter.

Nathan: Yuck…..is….or was that a cockroach? I can't tell…..

Richard walks up and injects the serum into Sylar's neck; his eyes almost roll into the back of his head.

Richard: It seems to be working….this will be the first of many…..

Sylar starts to scream and convulse.

Noah: What the hell did you do?!

Richard: I….I don't know, this must be a side effect….

Sylar's restraints break and his telekinesis goes out of control. Things are flying around the room as Noah and Richard fall to the floor.

Peter: Yikes…What the hell is going on?

Hiro: I don't know but it looks like bad stuff.

Noah (grasping at the floor): What have…..you done? This isn't right! You'll get…..even more people killed this way!

Richard: No…..this wasn't supposed to….happen!

He pulls out a gun.

Noah: Oh now what!?

Richard: You can't….tell anybody about…..this! I'll see to that…

Peter: He's going to shoot Mr. Bennet! I can't let him do that!

Hiro: Well, what are you going to…..wait, something seems off…..

Peter waves his arm and Noah comes flying out of the room as Richard pulls the trigger.

Peter: Hiro! Did you just see that?! I remembered how to…..

Noah (getting on his feet): Peter…….Hiro?

Hiro: Uh oh……

While Noah isn't paying attention, Hiro and Peter look at the body of _past Peter_, who has been shot in the head.

Peter: Uuuahhhh…..I'm dead! That's me!

Hiro: This is really bad, okay, we're just going to have to…..

Sylar starts running through several powers in his head that he has obtained over the years. One being _Ted Sprague's_ exploding ability….

Sylar: Eeerrrrrraaaaauuuughh!!!!

He explodes; Richard Prescott gets swallowed by the blast. The force propels Noah into Hiro, who in a panic accidentally teleports out of there. Peter gets ejected through a nearby window and onto the street as the mansion goes up. In a car not too far off, Rachel and Viktor are sitting in there watching the spectacle. Rachel stares in horror.

Rachel: Father…..

Viktor: There's nothing we could have done, he wanted this….

Rachel: All I know is that Noah Bennet went in there….he killed my father.

Viktor: You think he did this?

Rachel: Yeah…..I do.

They start to drive off when they notice Sylar's body down the street getting picked up by a scientist. _She uses her telekinetic power_ to open the back door so she can put Sylar in there.

Rachel: Who was that?

Viktor: Cecile……She's works with me, I'm going to have her run some tests on Sylar, fix him up so he'll be in good shape when we need him next.

Peter (present) is lying out in the street. Time fast forwards as someone discovers his body. Angela pulls up and someone takes him to the hospital. Peter remains in a coma for a few weeks until he regains consciousness and is back to normal, he realizes he has no powers. Tries to jump off the building, splats on the ground, gets rushed back to the hospital, gets scolded by Angela, jumps off the building again, scolding ensues, back at his apartment Nathan asks him to go to his son's Career day, he draws Claire's fate, runs and shows Mohinder while bumping into Sylar who runs off. He leaves, night turns to day, he comes back Mohinder talks on the phone with Angela, Peter leaves to confront her at her castle, the guards throw him in there; he gets up and walks to the bars in his cell.

Peter: Hello?...Anybody there?...Can someone save me?..._I'd save myself but all I know how to do is paint and read minds!_...Hello?

Hiro, Ando and Nathan appear in front of the cell.

Peter: Nathan!...You brought Hiro to come and rescue me! You're an awesome brother! _I take back all the bad things I said about you 2 and a half minutes ago_.

Nathan: What?

Hiro: Peter Petrelli…..We are going to take a trip……

Peter: A trip?...What kind of trip?

Hiro (wiggling his fingers): _Throuuuuugh Tiiiiiiiiime! Woooooooooooo! Scary!_

Nathan shoots Hiro an awkward look.

Hiro: Sorry, just felt like doing that.

Peter: I don't understand.

Nathan: I'm really not getting it myself either…..

Hiro: I am going to take you back in time to the past, that day you lost your……..wait……

Nathan: What's wrong?

Hiro: Something's not right about this….It feels familiar….

Peter: What are you talking about?

Hiro: We've done this…..I could've sworn I took you back to the past before…

Peter: Well I don't remember it!

Nathan: Yeah, just do it already!

Hiro: No…..I'm almost sure of it. We were here, we took you back into the past….something went wrong though….

Nathan: You were supposed to take him back to one month ago, the night of the explosion.

Hiro: That's it! There was the explosion….and Noah was there…..and you…….and we ran into you, Peter, another you…and someone named Richard.

Nathan: Wait, you were there? Why didn't you tell me when we were back at Burger King?

Hiro: Because…..you brought me here, I took Peter back….something went wrong, and now we're reliving the events…..but I think we must be caught in a time loop…..and since we wasted time standing here analyzing the situation, that means the time loop has….caught back up with us….

Peter spins around to find another Peter in his cell.

Peter: Uh oh.

Meanwhile, Hiro, Ando, and Nathan appear….right behind Hiro, Ando, and Nathan.

Hiro: ACK!

Ando: What is this?!

Nathan: The hell?

Peter: I have a headache….

Hiro: Oh this is just getting worse!

Hiro: What are you doing here?

Hiro: Who me?

Hiro: Yes, you!

Hiro: Couldn't be…

Hiro: Then who?

They both laugh.

Both Nathans: _Can you stop wasting time_!...Hey!...I said that……Stop copying me!

Both Andos look at each other, confused.

Nathan: Hiro! Get on with it!

Hiro: Uh….okay…..I think I can….take Peter back

Peter: Can't anybody help me? I lost my memory!

Peter: So did I!

Peter: Me too!

The two Peter's look at a third Peter in the cell.

Hiro turns to find that Nathan, Hiro, and Ando appear behind them.

Hiro: Hello!

Both Hiros: Hello!

Nathan: _Oh son of a_……Hiro! Fix this! Now!

Hiro teleports into Peter's cell.

Hiro: Okay….who got here first?

Peter: I did….before these two showed up.

Hiro: Great. You're the one I want.

He grabs his arm and teleports out of there.

Back on the Train. Elle looks through a window into the next cabin to see Viktor and the others.

Elle: That's them…..Sylar's gone though.

Noah: Well, that's one less thing we have to worry about.

Claire opens a cabin door.

Claire: Dad!

Noah: Claire!

She runs over there and hugs him….

Claire: Why does Dr. Suresh have your phone number?

Noah: Uh….long story, no time to explain now. Are you okay?

Claire: Yeah, I'm fine...

Noah: Okay, stay right here….

Viktor, whose projection walks through the cabin wall, approaches Claire from the side.

Viktor: She'll go wherever I want her to. Cy!

The mysterious hooded man appears and grabs Claire.

Claire: Cy? I thought your name was….Slinky, or something…….

Cy: It was _Shinko_, and I killed him, remember?

Claire: Oh yeah….

Viktor: Dispose of our guest…..

Noah pulls out his gun and fires a bullet between Viktor's eyes, the bullet flies through his body to the other side with no impact.

Viktor: You're going to have to try harder than that.

Noah and Haitian look at Elle.

Elle: Why are you looking at me? I didn't know he could do that!

Cy: Come with me….

Cy goes over and opens the door to Matt _holding a shotgun out the window of the car_, he fires it and Cy flies to the back of the cabin.

Matt: YEAH! Got him….wait….who was that?

Niki: _You don't know who you shot!?_ You idiot!

Matt: Well, he was holding Claire in the open door of a moving train, so he didn't look like good news.

Claire (yelling): Don't worry, he was bad!

Matt: See, I know what I'm doing…

Viktor (walking over to Cy): Cy…….Cy…….Dammit! Going to have to do this myself!

He merges himself into Claire's body and jumps off the train.

Noah: Claire!

Matt: What the hell?! She just jumped!

Claire's body falls onto the ground and flops around a bit.

Elle: Where did she go?...

Noah: I have a feeling where….we're getting off this train….

He turns to run into Rachel.

Rachel: You're not going anywhere…

She grabs Noah's arm and starts to freeze it. He yanks his arm down bringing Rachel with it, at the same time he raises his right knee as it busts into Rachel's nose.

Elle: Oooh….that's gotta sting….

Noah pulls out a cell phone and dials _his other number_. Mohinder picks it up.

Mohinder: Yeah?

Noah: Mohinder, we're stuck on the train so we're going to have to stop it. Molly and Micah will be safe; can you drive back and find Claire?

Mohinder: Yeah.

Noah: Great, thanks.

Noah: Okay, They're going to find Claire, let's get into the control room.

The walk on…Elle kicks Rachel who is unconscious on the floor…..

Elsewhere, Claire is walking on the train tracks; Viktor leaves her body and lays her on _the train tracks, as another train approaches in the distance_.

Claire: You don't have to do this….We can make a deal!

Viktor: No….my plans are ruined enough as it is……

He finishes tying her to the tracks….He sticks around to watch but he disappears as Rachel wakes him up.

Viktor: What the hell are you doing?

Rachel: They got past me…they're going to stop the train!

Viktor: You couldn't stop them? Well, I'm just going to have to use Plan B.

Rachel: There's a Plan B?

Viktor (on his phone): Yeah…..go ahead and _activate it_.

He hangs up.

Viktor: We'll be leaving as well.

Rachel: You're going to make me jump, aren't you….

Viktor: That's the plan….

Claire is tied to the tracks as Mohinder's car pulls up; the three of them pile out.

Niki: A train's coming! It's not going to stop in time!

Mohinder: Matt and I will try to cut these ropes….Niki, do you think you can stop it…..?

Niki: I….I can try…..

Niki holds up her hands and concentrates….the train starts to slow down, but not by much….

Niki: Hurry! I don't think I can slow it down any slower.

Peter and Hiro appear back in the past Peter _steps over the Cockroach_ this time. They proceed down the hall to the room.

Hiro: It was here….you moved Noah out of the way, which killed you….but if we stay out of it….

Peter: Then Noah gets shot….like he's supposed to…

Hiro: Yeah…..

The noise and chaos ensues as Sylar is making everything fly around the room.

Hiro: Let's move back…..

Richard pulls out a gun as the Past Peter runs up. Richard fires the gun as Past Peter deflects the bullet back to him; he falls to the floor…

Noah: We need to get out of here, now! Sylar's going to blow up the place…

Nathan runs up to the two of them.

Nathan: There you are! I've been looking for you for half an hour!

Past Peter: Dude, get Mr. Bennet out of here….I'm going after Sylar.

Noah: Peter, don't be stupid, you'll get yourself killed.

Past Peter: Don't worry, I have regenerative abilities!

Present Peter: That sounds like something I'd say…

Nathan: Okay, but be careful….

He grabs Noah and they fly up through the glass ceiling.

Noah: You know we could've used the door!

Past Peter is looking up at Nathan he turns around to run into _Richard, who impales him in the neck with a syringe_.

Present Peter gasps, Hiro munches on some popcorn as he watches the scene.

Richard: You…..you're one of them…..aren't you?

Past Peter just stares at him in shock….

Richard: But…..not anymore……heh….heh, heh…..ha,ha,ha,ha,ha……..

Richard slumps to the ground as Sylar explodes. Hiro and Peter vanish out of there as Past Peter gets ejected out of the building from the blast. Back in the present, Hiro and Peter return to Nathan and Ando in the cell.

Nathan: Well, what did you find out?

Peter: You were there…..you took Noah away….

Nathan: And you were in the explosion, I shouldn't have left…

Peter: So, let me get this straight…..This….Richard Prescott…..he hated people with abilities, though his daughter had them. He created this stuff that can destroy that part of people's minds so they won't have them anymore. Noah was there to stop him…..and somehow he managed to get a hold of Sylar which was why I was there. You arrived and I told you to take Mr. Bennet away so I can have Sylar….but Richard got the drop on me and I got injected with the serum…..

Nathan: ….

Peter: So even though that I know what happened…..it wouldn't have gotten my powers back anyway.

Hiro: Right.

Peter: Unless we prevent him from doing that.

Hiro: I….can't do that.

Peter: Why not?

Hiro: Because the only way we could've stopped it would've been to intervene, and we know we can't do that….

Peter: I guess not…..

Nathan: I wonder what mom knows then….

Hiro: Um….if it's okay, can we move along _to my favor_. Help me find the Cheerleader?

Peter: Cheerleader?...Claire?...She's in trouble?

Hiro: Most likely.

Peter: Yeah, we'll help you. I found out what I needed for now………can you get me out of this cell first?

Hiro proceeds to do so as Angela listens to the conversation, hidden away behind a corner.

Back on the tracks.

Niki: They're trying to speed up the train! I….I can't slow it down…..

Matt: We almost have it….man, how much rope did this guy use!?

Niki: Come on! Slow down……

Jessica: You know you're not going to stop the train…

Niki stops and notices a shard of broken glass on the ground lying next to her.

Niki: …..you….

Jessica: That's a pretty cold welcome….didn't you miss me?

Niki (turns to Mohinder): I can't stop the train.

Mohinder: Just try.

Niki: No…..I can't…..stop…the train.

Mohinder looks at her then realizes what she's talking about.

Mohinder: Saw faster!

Matt: I'm sawing as fast as I can.

Matt is cutting the rope with haste, he snaps off the last one.

Matt: Got it! I got it!

Niki and Mohinder dive out of the way as Matt grabs Claire and rolls off the tracks, the train barely missing them.

Matt: Haaaaaa…..That was close….

Claire: You're tellin me!

Back inside the first train. Noah is trying to talk to the Conductor.

Noah: You have to stop this train! Now!

Conductor: We don't stop for another 3 hours; you are going to have to sit down. I don't care if you are _Seal and Heidi Klum's bodyguard_. Those are the rules…

In the other cabin….

Molly: Where did everybody go?

Micah: I don't know….

Molly: I'm worried…..we should try to get off too….

Micah: How?

Molly: I don't know….

Micah: Wait….I have an idea. Come here….

They walk over to the door of the cabin.

Micah: See the cabins are connected by a link, which is controlled electronically. So maybe……

Micah focuses on the train connection…..which releases, the cabin slows down as the train continues ahead.

Molly: You did it!...Wait….

Molly runs to the back of the cabin.

Molly: Okay, those other guys are gone….I just hope the people in that cabin will be okay.

Micah: Yeah, it should be fine.

Their cabin comes to a stop as the front ones move across the bridge. Suddenly, a bomb of some sort detonates, sending pieces of the bridge, as well as the train itself, hurling toward the river below. In the main cabin, Noah, Elle, Haitian and some of the workers hold on.

Elle: AHHH! What's going on!?

Noah catches a view out the window, the train crashes into the river. On the back cabins above, Molly and Micah stare in shock……

Molly: ….._Ummmmmmm, you're in trouuuuble_….

Micah: …….

_To Be Continued_……

Heroes continues Next Week.


	6. Derailed

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 6: Derailed

Author's Note: Apology for the delay, my computer crashed and I lost my original file and had to start over (bah!) Okay, here we go…

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. Nobody from the cast of Smallville was harmed in the filming of this episode.

Mr. Muggles: Woof! Woof!...Woof!...Woof! (Previously on Heroes)

Noah: Where are you taking Claire?

Viktor: On a trip.

Noah: We have to get on that train…

Viktor (to Sylar): You….have lost your powers too?

Sylar: Well, if _you put it THAT way_……

Claire: You're the guy from the temple!

Cy: I with me….we have work to do.

Matt blows Cy away with the shotgun out the window.

Matt: I'm such a good shot….you know I've been getting plenty of practice.

Flashback to Matt playing _Duck Hunt_.

Matt: Damn, I missed…

The dog pops up out of the bushes and laughs at him.

Matt: URGH! _I HATE THAT DOG!!!_

Matt picks up the television and hurls it out the window.

Matt: AHHH! Crap!….Where's Molly?

Niki: In her room….

Matt: Whew!

Noah: Mohinder, Sylar's gone…the kids are safe will you see if you can find Claire?

Niki: I can't stop the train….

Mohinder: Just try!

Niki: No…..I can't….stop….the train…

Mohinder: Oh…..Ohhh…….Oh, that's bad!

Hiro: I am going to take you back to the past.

Richard: I have created this so this world can return to some type of normality. And nobody is going to stop me.

Sylar goes insane and starts sending things flying, Richard fires his gun as Past Peter reflects the bullet.

Peter (back in the present): So even though I remember what happened, it was that….stuff that made me lose everything.

Hiro: But only temporarily, you're getting powers back one by one.

Peter: Yeah.

Hiro: Now hurry, Claire's in danger! We have to find her….

Micah: I can undo the locks which detach our cabin so we can get off safely.

Micah undoes the electronic locks. The bridge explodes as the main cabin, which has Noah, Elle, and Haitian in it, goes tumbling toward the river.

Micah: Uh oh…….

_Micah Sanders and Molly Walker  
On The Edge Of The Broken Bridge  
Why Molly is bitter: Because Parkman ate the last Toaster Strudel, damn him!!_

Micah and Molly walk on the train tracks up to where the bridge drops off from where the explosion went off.

Molly: Did….did you cause that?

Micah: No, of course not…..At least I'm pretty sure I didn't….no….no I didn't…..

Mohinder runs up to them, followed by Niki, Claire, and Matt.

Mohinder: Molly! Are you okay?

Molly: Yeah, I guess so.

Niki: Micah, I'm glad you're safe! Why did you run away from camp?

Micah: The macaroni art…. take it anymore!

Niki: Well, I'm glad you're alright at least.

Molly: But the people on the train! The bridge exploded and the train…

Claire: My dad was on the train! We…we have to go look for him!

Matt: Uh….it is pretty far down…

Claire: I don't care, I'm going.

Mohinder: Yeah, Parkman you go with her.

Matt: Aw…_but there could be bears_…..

Mohinder: You have a gun…

Matt (kicking the ground): Yeah, I guess so.

Mohinder: While you are doing that, Niki and I will take Molly and Micah somewhere safe from those lunatics.

Matt: Fine, the cliff is pretty steep, I think if we….

Claire takes a leap off the bridge and falls down towards the river.

Matt: Hmph….._showoff_….

_Peter, Nathan, Hiro, and Ando_  
_Mohinder's Apartment  
Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows you naaaame!_

Peter: Why did we come all the way to Suresh's place?

Hiro: Because he has the girl here, who can locate people.

Peter: Ah…

Hiro: _Though it would've been nice if we flew here_.

Nathan: Are you nuts? I couldn't carry all three of you. _Teleporting is much easier_.

Hiro: Yeah, but still….

Peter: Well, let's see if he's here.

They proceed up the stairs while across the street in a back alley _Cy the mysterious hooded man_ watches them.

---The world rotates…….Heroes!---

_Noah, The Haitian, and Elle  
Somewhere down the river  
Blub Blub Blub…_

As we travel down the river we see the words floating along the surface of the water:

_CHAPTER 6: DERAILED_

A hand shoots up from the river and clasps on to dry land. Noah pulls himself out of the water, gasping for air.

Noah: -Gasp!-…..-Cough!- -Cough!-……

Noah: Where the hell are we?

The Haitian walks up, carrying Elle _upside down by her legs_.

Noah: Oh good, you found her……_at least I think that's good_.

Haitian: She is unconscious.

Noah: Okay, that's good then.

Suddenly, a giant rabid grizzly bear appears.

Bear: _RAWR!_

Noah: Oh, that's bad….Where's Elle?!

Haitian: _You must be referring to the one who isn't unconscious. _

Noah: Oh right, you just said that. Well…my pistol is water logged, so I can't shoot it.

Noah throws his gun at the bear…._-BONK!-_

Bear: _RRAAAAAWR!_

Haitian: I think you made him mad.

Noah: _You think!?_

Haitian: Now what?

Noah: I got it! Make him forget how to be a bear……_make him act like_….a chicken or something.

Haitian: _I'm not a hypnotist!_

Noah: Well, just do something.

The Haitian reluctantly walks up to the bear and waves his hand.

Bear: _RRAAAAAWR!_

Haitian: It didn't work.

Noah: What did you do?

Haitian: I do what I always do, make them forget their memories….

Noah: Oh, that will work _if we need the bear to forget any crucial moments from High School Senior Prom!_ Bears don't have memories!

Haitian: Well, what do you suggest?

Noah: Make him forget how to attack people.

Haitian: -Sigh-…..I guess.

The Haitian waves his hand, the bear stumbles around for a bit before collapsing to the ground.

Haitian: Good, that worked.

Noah: Okay, we need to find out where the hell we are….We floated a ways from the bridge so we're going to have to walk.

Haitian: What should we do about the girl?

Noah: Uh……_carry her._

Haitian: Oh….

_The Bennet Home  
Looks like you have mail  
Congratulations: You still didn't win the Publisher's Clearing House! HA!_

Sandra runs down the stairs and into the living room of the Bennet House. Lyle is sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich.

Sandra: Lyle! Where's Mr. Muggles?!

Lyle: -Sigh-…..He's in his Doggy Castle. (Rolls his eyes)

Sandra: Excellent, I have to get him ready _for his big performance!_

Lyle: What?

Sandra: Our very own Mr. Muggles is going to be participating in a talent show!

Lyle: I thought you were against Mr. Muggles being in talent shows, _it's too degrading_ or something like that.

Sandra: Nonsense! There will be executives from The _Woof Network_ watching, and they'll be so impressed with his performance, he'll be a star!

Lyle: Wow! _I couldn't care less_.

Sandra: Well, go ahead and get him ready, I'll start the car.

Lyle: Excuse me?!

Sandra: I need some help, Lyle. _And your father and sister have disappeared_; they're probably at the zoo or something.

Lyle: -Groan-.

Sandra: Now grab Mr. Muggles doggy castle; we have to get to the show before 5:00.

Lyle: -Longer Groan-

_Mohinder's Apartment_

Hiro knocks on the door to the apartment.

Hiro: He's not home!

Nathan: You just knocked, give the man some time to answer.

Peter: Well, mom knew that Mohinder was trying to help us. Maybe she got to him first….she probably killed him.

Nathan: Now how would she do that?!

Peter: Hmmm…

-A THEORY!-

Mohinder walks into his bedroom; Angela Petrelli is lying on his bed wearing a silk nightgown.

Mohinder: Mrs. Petrelli, what are you doing?!

Angela: Don't way another word…._just kiss me!_

-UH…-

Nathan (shuddering): Oh god, _what the hell is wrong with you!?_

Peter: I wasn't finished!

Nathan: That just looks bad!

Peter: Well, _when you interrupt me there, of course it looks bad!_

Nathan: Oh….that's just messed up.

Hiro: I don't get it, so…._Mother Petrelli and Dr. Suresh made whoopee?_

Nathan: AARRGH! That's it! I'm outta here, I'm waiting outside. You three can finish this on your own.

Peter: Always the first to bail….tsk, tsk.

Hiro: He still hasn't answered….maybe I can teleport in.

Ando: Hiro, wait. Are you sure you want to do that? That's breaking and entering…sort of.

Hiro: But….he could've fell down in the bathtub, we must save him!

Ando: I guess….whatever.

Hiro teleports in, Peter and Ando look at each other.

Peter: I….would've assumed he'd unlock the door……

Nathan walks downstairs and steps outside. He puts his hands in his pockets and looks around, Cy appears behind Nathan and strikes, rendering him unconscious, he picks him up and drags him off.

_Matt and Claire  
The River_

Matt makes his way down the cliff where he meets Claire in a mangled bloody mess.

Matt: Well, not looking so fancy now, Miss 'I can jump off a bridge'!

Claire: Ugh….just shut up and sort me out.

Matt walks over and props Claire's body up, he snaps her arms and legs back into place. She stands up and pops her neck, facing forward.

Matt: Ewwww….

Claire: Okay, I'm set. Let's start looking.

Matt and Claire start to walk down the side of the river.

Back at Mohinder's, Peter and the others walk outside.

Peter: Nobody's home, so now where should we look…..?

Hiro: I don't know.

Peter: Wait……where's Nathan?

Hiro and Ando look around.

Hiro: I don't know….he said he'd be out here.

Peter: I wouldn't think he'd leave without saying anything. Very strange indeed…..

_Sandra and Lyle Bennet  
The Woof Network Stadium Of Hopeful Dogs Competition Of Excellence  
Or: TWNSOHDCOE for short…_

Sandra runs in excitedly while Lyle trudges behind, pushing Mr. Muggles in his tiny _Doggie Mobile Home_.

Lyle: 'What's worse than the castle' I had to ask….

Sandra: Oh, Lyle, isn't this exciting?!

Lyle: No.

Sandra: Well, I'm going to get the papers ready so I can get or wittle Mr. Muggles signed up for his big performance.

She skips off while nearby….

Reporter: I'm Chip Malarkey with Channel 5 News. I'm reporting here at the New York City Dog Show….._because it's a very slow news day_. It's getting really exciting folks, so stick around!

Watching the program on television, Viktor fiddles with the remote in his hand. He looks over to see Rachel _sitting by the window while rain starts to come down outside_.

Viktor: This is good.

Rachel: What are you talking about?

Viktor: This is a new way we can get the girl back….

Rachel gets up and walks over to him.

Rachel: How?

Viktor: …..We have a bargaining chip….

They both look back at the television to see Sandra holding Mr. Muggles, making him wave to the camera. Lyle in the background holding up a 'HELP!' sign.

Mohinder and Niki are driving.

Mohinder: I don't understand how you managed to get your old powers back….

Niki: I don't know.

Mohinder: We should run more tests as soon as this is all over.

Niki: I guess…

Mohinder pulls back up to his apartment.

Niki: What are we doing here?

Mohinder: We're….back home….

Niki: Do you think its wise keeping the children back at the place _they were originally abducted?_

Mohinder: Good point. Well I'll just run inside and grab some things.

Mohinder gets out of his car and walks into the apartment, when he reaches his door he notices that it's been opened.

Mohinder: -Gasp!-….Robbers……I must find something…….to strike them with…

Mohinder sneaks up and grabs a fire extinguisher…….

Mohinder: Okay….I think I see someone….

Mohinder jumps in, swinging the extinguisher. –_BONK!-_

Mohinder: Huh?

He looks up to see Hiro and Ando standing there, shocked…._with Peter knocked out on the floor_.

Mohinder: Uh……..oh damn.

Back on the derailed train, Matt climbs out of a window.

Claire: Did you find anything?

Matt: Nope!

He hops back down to the ground.

Matt: There's nobody on that thing, which means…..I think they survived.

Claire: Okay…..but where could they be?

Matt: I know, we can ask Molly, she can locate them.

Claire: _You bring this up after I jumped off the bridge?_

Matt: Oh please, _like it did any real damage!_

Claire: Hmph!

Matt: Molly probably doesn't remember his face very well; do you have a picture you can show her?

Claire: Back at my house.

Matt: Okay, then we're off!

Claire: One problem, we don't have a car….

Matt: Oh…..that's bad.

Back at The Dog Show.

Announcer: And now we have _Mr. Muggles Bennet_, about to perform.

Sandra (standing up in the audience, screaming): _It's just Mr. Muggles!!!_

Lyle (to person next to him): We're not related….

Sandra: Oh Lyle, you got some schmutz on you….

She licks a handkerchief and smothers Lyle's face. –_SPLAT!-_

Lyle: Blargh!

Meanwhile, back at Mohinder's….Mohinder was drinking some coffee while Hiro was explaining everything that's been going on.

Hiro: So Ando, The Cheerleader, and myself, we went back in time to find The Great Prophet Shinko….who wasn't him…..that hooded guy killed him, took Claire and..so on…

Mohinder: Well, Parkman took care of him…so we don't have to worry about that anymore.

Hiro: But now _Flying Man_ is gone….he vanished.

Peter: Can Molly find him?

Molly: Yeah, do you have a picture?

Peter: Hold on.

Peter digs in his wallet and hands him a picture of Nathan drunk at a party with a lamp shade on his head.

Molly: Uh…._this won't work_.

Peter: Darn…

Mohinder: Wait….I got it.

Mohinder runs off and digs through a drawer, pulling out a newspaper.

Mohinder: This is one of the old newspapers when Nathan was running for President.

Molly: Oh, that's him?...I knew what he looked like…but this will help a little bit better.

Molly concentrates on the picture…she looks confused.

Molly: I….can't find him…..

Peter: AHH! Does that mean he's dead!?

Molly: No….not exactly….I can…..kinda…..feel his presence…..sort of…..but I feel like I'm being blocked.

Peter: That's so cool…..watching Molly is like that movie _Ghost_!

Niki rolls her eyes.

Mohinder: Well, I guess we can take off…With Molly with us perhaps getting closer to Nathan will help her detect him better.

Peter: Or if I could absorb powers again….dammit.

Niki: Well, what can we do with Micah?

Micah: Please don't send me back to camp! I can be useful too…..I can uh……_rig ATM's to give you money!_

Peter: _THAT'S AWESOME! _

Niki: -Sigh- Ok….but we're going to keep a really close eye on you two. We don't want to lose you again to those morons from before.

Mohinder: Okay, let's pack up….

They walk off as Niki looks at a mirror to the left.

Jessica: That's a good idea, you know…..bring the kids along with you _back into the danger_….

Niki: Shut up.

Jessica: You're just going to lose them again…..

Niki: Just…..back off…..

Jessica: I will……for now……

She giggles and walks off….Niki stares where her reflection used to be……

Matt and Claire make their way to the top of the cliff, he helps her up.

Claire: Wow, that is kinda far up…

Matt: You say that after jumping and turning into silly putty.

Claire: Yeah, yeah….well, hopefully we can head back and…..

Matt: What is……

They look forward to find themselves surrounded by police cars.

Claire: Um…..This is a problem….

Matt: Nah, these are the fellow policemen, they are our friend!

Cop: Put your hands up scum-bag!

Matt: Or not…..

Claire: You're making a mistake! We didn't do anything!

Cop: A likely story, hands above your head, now!

Matt: Oh….I think they are mad…

Claire: Can't you _make _them not shoot us?!

Matt: Not all of them! And besides….I'm still kinda rusty about that. _I don't need to be sending any more people to the hospital_.

Claire: We have to run.

Matt: Oh, I wouldn't recommend that. These guys look like fast runners.

Claire: ….._We jump_.

Matt: And shatter into a billion pieces, great plan!

Claire: No…..these guys aren't going to let up…..But we have to get out of here…

Matt: Then what do you suggest?

Claire: Make your way to the bridge….

Matt: Um….

Claire: I'll be right in front of you….

Matt: Oh…..ooooh….I get it.

Claire: Okay…..ready?

Matt: Ready…

Cop: Don't even think about running….

Claire: Go!

Matt runs behind Claire and picks her up, the police open fire as Claire gets riddled with bullets. He hops over to the edge of the broken bridge and jumps off as they both hurl toward the ground, with Claire face down upon impact……. –_SPLAT!-_

Matt: Ow…..

Claire: Double ow…..

Matt gets back on his feet as the bullets pop out of Claire's body.

Matt: Uh….are you….okay….I guess?

Claire: Peachy….thanks.

Matt (helping her up): We better get moving before they chase after us.

Back at the dog show…

Mr. Muggles makes his was through the dog show obstacle course, Sandra holds up a 'We 'Heart' You Mr. Muggles!' sign, Lyle is in disguise so nobody will recognize him. Outside, Viktor shows up. He spots one of the TV Network Executives observing the competition. He steps to the side and falls into a trance, as he projects out of his body…making his way to the exec.

Sandra: Oh this is sooo exciting. I hope the tv people are watching….

Lyle: Uh….sure.

Suddenly, someone taps Sandra on her shoulder.

Sandra: Y….yes?

Martin: Are you Sandra Bennet?

Sandra: Yes.

Martin: I'm from the networks….

Sandra: REALLY!?

Martin: Yes.

Sandra: Oh, this is just a wonderful day!

Martin: I want to talk about a tv deal starring Mr. Muggles….._will you two come with me_?

Sandra: Oh course! Come along Lyle; let's go with the stranger who we just met.

Lyle: This can't lead to anything good……

A little bit later, Sandra and Lyle are walking out of the stadium with Mr. Muggles in hand. They pile into the mysterious van.

Lyle: Why would important tv executives be driving this ratty van?

Martin hops up into the driver's seat.

Sandra: So….where are we going?

Martin: Taking you back to the studio of course…..

Sandra: Oh, this is so exciting! And Mr. Muggles is happy too!

Lyle: Uh huh……. (Looks a little nervous)……

In a cabin somewhere, Elle opens her eyes after being unconscious for several hours.

Elle: Wh…..what happened?

Haitian: She has appeared to have woken up.

Noah: Damn!

Elle: HEY!

Noah: Well, in case you forgot we were on the train that derailed off the track after the bridge exploded and we fell to our demise….almost.

Elle: We….lived?

Noah: Yeah, we floated down the river a bit, and now we're here. Don't ask me how I found this place….I just did.

Haitian: _Well, I was the one that found it_…._but oh well_…..

Elle: What happened to those children things, and the bad people?

Noah: _Those children things?_

Elle: You know what I mean…..What happened to them?

Noah: I don't know….but we need to stay here for the night and rest before….

-_KNOCK!- -KNOCK!- -KNOCK!-_

The three of them stand up and look at the door…..meanwhile….

Claire: I can't believe there is a cabin out here….How did you find it?

Matt: I'm just that good.

Claire: Uh huh…..

Matt: What?...I did…..

Claire: Right.

Matt: Really! I did….

Claire: I believe you!

The door flies open, followed by the swinging of a shovel…_BONK!_

Matt: OW! Dammit….that hurt.

Noah: Claire!?

Claire: Dad? You're alive!

Noah rushes forward and knocks Matt out of the way. _–CRASH!_-

Matt: I should probably wait outside….

Noah: Are you hurt?

Claire (smiling): If I was would you be able to tell?

Noah: Heh…..Where is Suresh?

Matt: They went to hide Molly and Micah somewhere safe.

Noah: Good….well, how did you find this place?

Matt: My awesome navigational skills.

Claire: Luck.

Matt: Hmph!

Noah: It's getting late, we should get some sleep before we head back home…

Matt: Yeah, with the cops looking for us and all….

Elle: You have the Police after you?! What did you do?

Matt: I didn't do anything!

Elle: Yeah, right!

Matt: Grrr!

Noah: Well, come inside….the last thing we need is more trouble…

He lets them in and shuts the door…..a little bit away we see the river, a hand shoots up and grabs onto the land….as another hand grabs on…._Sylar pulls himself out of the water_….rolling onto the ground face up. He reaches his hand out and a rock telekinetically slides over to his hand.

Sylar: That's much better……

He gets up and makes his way to the cabin…..

_To Be Continued_……

NEXT WEEK ON AN ALL NEW HEROES (There will be one, promise……)

Nathan (chained up): What the hell do you plan to do with me?

Cy: You'll see…….

(He looks at a photograph)

Cy: _Something I should've done a long time ago_….

In the van.

Sandra: What the hell do you plan to do with us!?

Viktor: Something I should've thought of a long time ago….

Peter: …_What the hell do you plan to do with that hotdog?!_

Matt: I….plan to eat it…….because it's a hotdog……

Peter: _You bastard!_

Matt (to Mohinder): What the hell is his problem!?...Yeesh!

Elle shoots electricity at Sylar, who throws her through the window…..

Viktor (on the phone with Noah): …..Give me the girl……or your wife and son will die…..

In a dark place…..

Claire: Where…..where am I…..?

Voice: You're trapped down here…..just like I am….

She turns around to see Nathan appear from the shadows…

Nathan: We're going to have to work together…..if we're going to make it out of here alive…..

HEROES CONTINUES, NEXT WEEK


	7. Domestic Disturbance

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 7: Domestic Disturbance

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. Cat woman's extraordinary ability of making awful movies was not harmed in the filming of this episode.

Mohinder: _Previously on Heroes_…..

Claire: The bridge went out?! My dad was on that train….

Mohinder (to Matt and Claire): You two see what you can find; Niki and I will take Micah and Molly back somewhere safe…

_Meanwhile at 'Somewhere Safe'_….

Hiro: Where is that girl who can locate people? We need her to find the cheerleader….

Nathan steps outside only to get kidnapped by Cy, the Mysterious Hooded Guy…..that rhyme was not intentional.

Later, when Mohinder and Niki get back at the apartment…

Mohinder: Claire is fine, we rescued her in time. She is with Parkman….

Peter: Oh that's good….

Hiro: But now Nathan's gone!

Peter: Geez, _can't you people go one day without getting kidnapped!?_

Sandra is prepping Mr. Muggles for his big day at the dog show!

Sandra: If we win this show, it will make Mr. Muggles a star! He'll be on all the talk shows!

Lyle (rolling his eyes): _I'll start making space on my Tivo this instant!_

Sandra: You better, young man!

Lyle: -Sigh-…..

The Noah, The Haitian, and The Elle make their way to a cabin.

Noah: Well, it's starting to get late, and our phones don't work. So I guess we can relax here for the night…

Back at the Dog Show, Viktor shows up and Astral Projects into one of the Television Executive's body, he goes up to Sandra.

TV Exec: Guess what? Your dog has won the show!

Sandra: Oh boy!

Tv Exec: Come with me….

He escorts Sandra (with Mr. Muggles in hand), and Lyle into a van and drives off.

Claire and Matt are surrounded by Police.

Claire: They are pointing guns at us…_do they think we did this?!_

Matt: Probably….if I was still a cop it's what I would think.

Claire: Hmph!

They both jump off what's left of the bridge escaping the gunfire from the Police. Later, they stumble upon the cabin.

Noah (to Matt and Claire): I'm glad you two are still in one piece, stay here for the night and we'll try to get help tomorrow morning.

Claire: Yeah, I'd call for help but I crushed my phone from the fall….._twice_.

Outside, Sylar emerged from the river, making his way to the cabin….

_Nathan Petrelli  
Some Creepy Looking Dungeon  
Much more detailed than the one his brother was in not too long ago_

Nathan wakes up to find himself in restraints, his wrists chained to a brick wall.

Nathan: Great….now where the hell am I?

He doesn't get to look around for long before he is confronted by Cy.

Nathan: Who are you?...Wait….don't tell me. You're that weird hooded guy that Hiro told me about.

Cy: You would be correct.

Nathan: Good….now…what do you want with me? What possible benefit could you have with keeping me here?

Cy: I need to speak with your brother……

Nathan: Pete?...Why?

Cy: We…..just have…..some business to….discuss….

Cy tries to gasp for air but retains himself. Nathan glances down to notice something dripping from him.

Nathan: Is….that….blood?

Cy: It's not important, but I do need to speak with your brother……Having you here will lead him to me….

Cy teleports out of the dungeon, Nathan thinks to himself.

_Sandra and Lyle Bennet  
In Some Van, Driven by Some Television Exec…Who is actually Viktor Hale  
But of course they don't know that_

Meanwhile in some mysterious van, The TV Network Executive (Viktor) is driving while Sandra and Lyle sit in the back with Mr. Muggles.

Sandra: Oh, this is so exciting. I can't wait to tell your father and sister, _wherever they disappeared to_.

Lyle: Yeah, well since we are on this wonderful trip I have to call my partner in Science class and tell him I'm going to be….

Tv Exec: NO PHONE CALLS!!!

Lyle and Sandra are taken aback. Lyle continues to pull out his phone.

Lyle: Uh….we're not on a plane, I can use the phone.

The Exec pulls out a gun and points it at them.

Tv Exec: I said….No phone calls.

Lyle: Uh…..okay freaking out a little.

Sandra: Oh no!..._Is this guy from the 'Lifetime Network' because this is exactly what happened last time_.

Tv Exec: Just sit there and be good, we'll reach our destination shortly.

Viktor starts to feel himself waking up.

Tv Exec: Damn, this isn't going to work.

He dials Rachel's number on the guy's cell phone.

Tv Exec: Hey…..yeah, I need you to get to the Dog Show and pick up my body; I'll swing back by and pick you up.

Lyle and Sandra exchange looks.

_Mohinder's Apartment_

The door swings open as the group gets back after a few hours of trying to look for Nathan.

Molly: I'm sorry, Mohinder. I tried but I couldn't pick up anything…

Mohinder: Its okay Molly….I'm just glad we made it back in one piece. If Parkman were here he'd be like "_What happened to Molly? Oh that's right; I sold her off for this handful of magic beans!"._

Molly looks confused.

Mohinder: But of course that didn't happen and that's a good thing…..though I can't help but wonder where they are.

Niki: I'm sure they're fine, Matt can take care of himse…….well, he'll be fine with Claire.

Mohinder: I just hope Bennet isn't too sore about sending Claire to go look for him after we just rescued her.

Hiro: So what are we going to do about Nathan, Peter?

Peter: Hmm……I don't know...but don't worry I'll think of something.

Molly goes back to her room and turns on the television, which is playing 'Entertainment Tonight'.

Host: Yeah, and whatever happened to Nathan Petrelli? He was running for President, and then disappeared off the face of the earth.

Co-Host: Yeah, he probably moved to another country or something…….

Molly sits for a second as a vision pops in her head….she gasps and runs back into the living room.

Molly: I know where he is! I need a globe!

Peter: Like….a snow globe?

Molly: No, a map.

Mohinder get up and grabs the world globe from the desk, he puts it in front of Molly as she closes her eyes and feels around it. Her finger lands on _Iceland_.

Mohinder: Iceland?!

Molly: Yeah, he's somewhere here….I just know it.

Peter: Why would he go to Iceland?

Niki: He has suddenly gone missing; he could've been taken prisoner there.

Peter: …Then I know what I must do. Hiro, come on……

Hiro: O….okay…..Ando?

Ando: Yeah.

Hiro: This could be dangerous. So you better stay here where it is safe.

Niki: You know, since _Sylar got in here and threatened our lives, Micah and Molly were kidnapped, and now Nathan's missing_. Oh yeah, this place is an Immaculate Sanctuary of Peace!

Mohinder: What are you going to do, Peter?

Peter (reaching his hand on the doorknob): What else……_I'm off to save my brother!_

Peter flings open the door which was actually the closet, a load of sports equipment avalanches on him in a gigantic crash!

Mohinder: Ahh…….yeah, don't open that.

Niki: That's all yours?

Mohinder: No its Matt's……I told him to clean it up….but you know him.

Peter: Ughh…..uh yeah….._don't jump up and try to help me all at once_...

Niki: You know, Pizza sounds good for dinner. I'll go make the call.

She walks off, Molly returns to her room. Mohinder sits back down and reads his book.

Peter: Ugh….worthless……

---The world turns……..Heroes!----

_A few hours ago_….

On the train…

Viktor: Your job isn't to ask questions, Gabriel. I know the girl won't do it so we need someone who will…..and that someone is you. Take her ability….

Molly looks at Sylar.

Sylar: Right…..well…….._Why can't you do it?_

Viktor: I can only control body's physical forms, not their minds. Now for the last time, kill her!

Sylar: Okay……_does anybody have a knife_?

Viktor and Rachel look at each other.

Viktor: You…..don't have your power anymore…..

Sylar: No, but I do have something better.

Sylar jumps forward and through Viktor's body, apparently a projected vision of himself.

Viktor: Tsk….tsk…..I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid you're no longer useful to me.

Viktor merges himself into Sylar's body again. He goes to the train door and opens it and the ground flies by. Sylar (Viktor) jumps up and grabs onto a railing. Viktor remains holding on as Sylar tumbles out onto the ground. He closes the door and walks back over to Rachel and the children.

-Fast forward a little later….-

Noah: Claire!

She runs over there and hugs him….

Claire: Why does Dr. Suresh have your phone number?

Noah: Uh….long story, no time to explain now. Are you okay?

Claire: Yeah, I'm fine...

Noah: Okay, stay right here….

Viktor, whose projection walks through the cabin wall, approaches Claire from the side.

Viktor: She'll go wherever I want her to. Cy!

The mysterious hooded man appears and grabs Claire.

Claire: Cy? I thought your name was….Slinky, or something…….

Cy: It was _Shinko_, and I killed him, remember?

Claire: Oh yeah….

Viktor: Dispose of our guest…..

Noah pulls out his gun and fires a bullet between Viktor's eyes, the bullet flies through his body to the other side with no impact.

Viktor: You're going to have to try harder than that.

Noah and Haitian look at Elle.

Elle: Why are you looking at me? I didn't know he could do that!

Cy: Come with me….

Cy goes over and opens the door to Matt _holding a shotgun out the window of the car_, he fires it and Cy flies to the back of the cabin.

Matt: YEAH! Got him….wait….who was that?

Niki: _You don't know who you shot!?_ You idiot!

Matt: Well, he was holding Claire in the open door of a moving train, so he didn't look like good news.

Claire (yelling): Don't worry, he was bad!

Matt: See, I know what I'm doing…

Viktor (walking over to Cy): Cy…….Cy…….Dammit! Going to have to do this myself!

He merges himself into Claire's body and jumps off the train.

Noah: Claire!

Matt: What the hell?! She just jumped!

Claire's body falls onto the ground and flops around a bit.

Elle: Where did she go?...

Noah: I have a feeling where….we're getting off this train….

He turns to run into Rachel.

Rachel: You're not going anywhere…

She grabs Noah's arm and starts to freeze it. He yanks his arm down bringing Rachel with it, at the same time he raises his right knee as it busts into Rachel's nose.

Elle: Oooh….that's gotta sting….

Noah pulls out a cell phone and dials _his other number_. Mohinder picks it up.

Mohinder: Yeah?

Noah: Mohinder, we're stuck on the train so we're going to have to stop it. Molly and Micah will be safe; can you drive back and find Claire?

Mohinder: Yeah.

Noah: Great, thanks.

Noah: Okay, They're going to find Claire, let's get into the control room.

The walk on…Elle kicks Rachel who is unconscious on the floor……….Cy regains consciousness and sees the group walk into the next cabin, he gains up the strength to teleport off the train.

He appears outside, as the train continues on, spotting Sylar off in the field. He walks up to him.

Cy: Hey…..

Sylar: Ughh….

Cy: Listen…..are you gonna be ok?

Sylar: I guess…..just a few hundred broken bones…..

Cy: Don't worry…..Everything will be okay……we…

He clenches his stomach from the shotgun wound.

Cy: We just need to get you in better shape…..You have to stop Viktor and his accomplice.

Sylar: Well, that's a little hard to do since he's practically a ghost 90 percent of the time.

Cy: Don't…..worry…..you'll get there. You…..just need to remember. Come with me.

He grabs Sylar's arm and they vanish, appearing on the bridge over the river.

Sylar: Where are we….?

Cy: The bridge.

They both see the oncoming train.

Sylar: What….are you doing?

Cy: You have the ability to blow up, don't you……you did back at the mansion a month ago…

Sylar: What?

Cy: Try to remember it. It will be a crucial step in remembering everything else you've lost.

Sylar: I don't…..I can't….

The train starts to approach the track, inside Micah uses his power to release the lock.

Cy: You have to do this….it's the only way you can stop them. They betrayed you….they betrayed us….

The train starts to cross the bridge.

Cy: NOW!

Sylar: I don't remember it, dammit….

Cy disappears as Sylar tenses up; he sets off a small explosion which takes out the bridge, sending the train to the river below. Sylar, who was sent flying down below to a small patch of land near the water, rolls over and falls in……..

_Present_

Outside of the cabin where Noah and the others are staying, Sylar's hand shoots up out of the water. He pulls himself up, ready to make his way to greet himself.

_Peter and Hiro  
Somewhere in the middle of Iceland._

Peter and Hiro are walking on a sort of trail, next to them in the field reads:

_CHAPTER 7: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE_

Peter: Okay, so…Nathan is somewhere out here.

Hiro: Well….I don't think he would be out here.

Peter: Hey….I see some houses. A city, maybe?

Hiro: Perhaps.

Peter: Uh….you're still walking.

Hiro: Yeah.

Peter: Why don't you….teleport?

Hiro: Peter, I cannot do that. I don't know how many people there are, I will look like….a crazy person.

Peter: ….._says the man who teleported in the middle of Times Square_….

Hiro: Well, people would think things. We'll keep walking!

Peter: Uh….okay…..Aw…but it's sooo far!

Hiro: A little walking never hurt anybody.

Peter scoffs and continues to follow Hiro into the town.

Back at the dog show. The van pulls back around; Rachel is waiting holding Viktor's unconscious body. They pile into the van next to Sandra and Lyle (with Mr. Muggles).

Sandra: Oh hello, _are you being kidnapped against your will as well?_

Tv Exec: No….she's with me.

Sandra: Oh…..OH…..ooohhh……OH! That's bad.

Lyle: Yes mom….she is bad.

Sandra: How dreadful!

Rachel: Keep your trap shut!

Viktor wakes back up as the Television Exec panics.

Tv Exec: AHH! What happened!? Where am I?

Viktor: Would you?

Rachel pulls out a gun and shoots the man; the van goes out of control. Lyle and Sandra shriek.

Viktor: _I meant AFTER you took the wheel!_

Rachel: Oh, that would make sense…..

Rachel goes up to the front. Sandra turns her attention back to Viktor.

Sandra: Who are you? What do you want with us?! What are your motives you terrible, terrible, man!

Viktor: Quiet! I'm not going to hurt you…..

Sandra: _Tell that to the man you just had your girlfriend shoot!_

Viktor: Actually I never told him that, which is why I shouldn't feel bad for having him killed.

Lyle: He does have a point.

Sandra: Yeah, I'll give him that one.

Viktor: All I just need is to talk to your husband….then this will all be over.

Sandra: Oh, ok that doesn't sound so bad.

Lyle lowers his head.

Back in the cabin, The Haitian is reading a book. Noah is trying to work the phone but no use.

Elle: I'm bored. Aren't there any games around here to play or something?….ooooh, how about Monopoly?

Everyone: _No!_

Elle: Fine, Fine, Okay….

There's a knock at the door.

Matt: Oh geez, I hope it's not those girl scouts again.

Matt gets up and walks to the door, ready to open it.

Matt: Sorry girls, I'm afraid we don't want….

He opens the door to see Sylar.

Matt: …._any_…..

With the wave of an arm, Matt goes flying to the back of the cabin, slamming against the wall then finally landing on a bed. Noah and Haitian jump out of their seats.

Noah: Get Claire out of here….

Sylar: Sit back down….

He holds out his hand face down and lowers it, Noah and The Haitian fall to the floor. Elle throws out a strand of lightning which Sylar intercepts, flinging it back toward her direction, making her stumble to the ground. Sylar is about to make his way to Elle when Matt blindsides him and tackles him out of the cabin.

Matt: Oh, that's going to be sore tomorrow morning….

Sylar: Urgh…..get off!

He sends Matt flying off of him, making him slide through the ground and toppling into the river. Sylar makes his way back into the cabin…

Noah (pointing his gun): Stop! You're not taking her.

Elle: Why are you using your gun, it's waterlogged from the river!

Noah shoots her a look.

Elle: Oh right….you were 'bluffing'…..I really gotta keep my mouth shut.

Noah: Nobody's expecting you to perform miracles….

Elle: Yeah…..wait….HEY!

Sylar: Now to get what I came for…

Claire: ….uh oh…..

Noah (about to move, but Sylar telekinetically pins him to the floor again): No!

Sylar slides his finger as an incision is made into Claire's head, but her wound heals as fast as he could cut.

Sylar: Well, that didn't work as well as I'd hope.

The scene is interrupted when Cy shows up.

Claire: Oh no, not you again…..I thought you were dead!

Cy (to Sylar): Don't worry. You've done enough here…..

He puts one hand on Sylar's shoulder, while grabbing Claire's arm with the other hand. They both disappear.

Noah: Dammit!

Back in Iceland. Peter and Hiro approach a house.

Hiro: Are you sure it's here? How do you know?

Peter: Well, I sorta know. It's strange, being back in the apartment I feel…..like I know where he is. I think I may have picked a little bit of Molly's ability up.

Hiro: Cool!

Peter: Well, I guess we could knock.

Hiro: Yes.

Peter: Or….someone can teleport us in…..

Hiro: But you don't know if this is the house! There could be a family in there about to eat dinner! An old lady sitting alone with a bunch of cats……

The door opens and out of nowhere a long arrow shoots toward them from inside, Hiro stops time as the pointed edge of the project is slightly pushing up against Peter's jugular.

Hiro: Haaaaah…..or someone who was expecting us and rigged the house with deadly traps.

Peter: Uh……uuuuh……

Hiro: Wow, man…that would not have been good.

Peter (barely talking): Good logical thinking there, but can you take care of this, I'm afraid to move a muscle. Hell, I was almost tuned into a Peter-ka-bob!

Hiro: Ha! I like that….. has a nice ring to it…..you know if you opened your own restaurant……

Peter: Uh….Hiro….sharp object…..move please…..

Hiro: Oh, right…..(He moves the arrow away and resumes time)

They walk up to the doorway….and stop.

Hiro: Well….go on in.

Peter: No……you can go in first.

Hiro: Why should I go?

Peter: Well, I was almost killed last time….so I think you should lead now.

Hiro: Oh gee, thanks!

Hiro takes a step inside the house and triggers a platform which sends a giant swinging pendulum with razor sharp blades at the duo. Hiro stops them…..

Peter: ….Had enough?

Hiro: Okay, we teleport the rest of the way.

Peter: Finally!

Claire awakens; she lifts her head up to find herself imprisoned.

Claire: That's it….I'm not getting out of bed ever again….

She climbs to her feet and walks over to the cell bars.

Claire: HEY! You can't keep me in here!...Let me out now or I'll scream!

Voice behind her: I wouldn't try that…..I already used that line….

Claire spins around.

Claire: Who's there?

She takes a couple of steps cautiously….

Claire: I hope you're not Hannibal Lecter……….My 13th Birthday Party was not one I'd like to remember….

-FLASHBACK-

Noah: Happy Birthday, Claire Bear! We couldn't get you a clown, so we got you……who did we get?

Sandra: Oh he said he was a comedian, and he knew how to make balloon animals.

Hannibal Lecter walks up next to Claire and sits next to her.

Hannibal: Hello Clarice…..

Claire: Uh….it's just 'Claire'…..

Hannibal: I see you are enjoying my favorite…._Fava beans_ _and a nice Chianti_….

Claire: Uh…no….it's _Birthday Cake and Kool Aid_….what's wrong with you?

Hannibal: You look good enough…..to eat!

Claire: Ok, I think I'm done with birthday parties….

-FIN-

Claire: Hmm….and yet I still ended up remembering it….and am now re-traumatized…..stupid brain.

She walks forward to find _Nathan_ in shackles.

Claire: It's you!

Nathan: Yup…..

Claire: Oh…..ok…..um…..

Nathan: Yeah….

Claire: This is awkward….

Nathan: A little….

Claire: ….How are you?

Nathan: …….imprisoned…..You?

Claire: The same……

Nathan: Good…..so…..think you can get me out of these things?

Claire: Uh…..sure….

She gets a bobby pin out of her pocket and messes with the locks, she manages to loosen up both of them and set him free.

Nathan: Thanks.

Claire: Don't mention it.

Nathan: So….we're both held captive in this stupid prison.

Claire: Yeah, by that stupid hooded guy. He is seriously getting on my nerves the next time I see him I oughtta…

She turns around to see Cy appear in front of her…

Claire: EEEK!

Nathan: Couldn't have done it better myself.

Cy: I'm glad you two could make it.

Nathan: Seeing how we were forced against our will….

Cy: Stick around….the trap has just been set. (He vanishes)

Claire: Trap?

Nathan: He's going to lure Peter here…..

Claire: What should we do?

Nathan: We're going to have to work together…..if we're going to make it out of here alive…..

Claire: -Sigh-…..Okay….I think I can do that……Though this better not be another set up by Peter to make us reunite….

Nathan: Don't remind me….that's a memory I do not want to remember….

-FLASHBACK-

Nathan (blindfolded): Wow, Pete, this is really nice. Taking your big brother out to eat….what's the occasion?

Peter: Oh….you'll see!

Nathan: And now I'm kinda nervous.

Nathan makes his way inside as Peter runs off. He takes off his blindfold to be standing in front of an audience.

Nathan: What the?

He is then approached by _Maury Povich_.

Nathan: Oh….no…..

Maury: Hello, I'm standing with Nathan Petrelli, and on tonight's episode 'Reuniting Estranged Fathers and Daughters….

Nathan (buring his face): Oh..no…..

Maury: Let's bring out Claire!

Claire gets pushed on stage with her blindfold whipped off.

Claire: ACK! This isn't the Tim McGraw concert?! What the hell!?

Maury: We'll be right back to talk to these two….one on one!

Nathan shoots a look of death toward Peter in the audience, cheering them on.

-FIN-

Nathan: And yet I still ended up remembering it…..and am now re-traumatized.

Claire: Yeah, that's been going around a lot lately.

Nathan: Okay, see if you can get the lock picked off the cell….

Back at the Cabin…

Noah: Okay, we're leaving!

Elle: What! Now?

Noah: Yes, now, Elle. That psycho has my daughter; so we don't have time to be wasting here.

Elle: Okay, well let me call the Cleaner's, tell them that I won't be able to pick up my dry cleaning today.

Noah stops at the door and leans back in as Elle pulls out her phone.

Noah: Where did you get that?

Elle: Oh this? I got it on sale! The Rhinestones are kinda overkill but other than that it's super cute!

Noah: _THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!_

Elle: EEP!

Noah: We have been stranded in this horrible cabin….

Elle: I wouldn't say horrible…it's kinda….homey…..yeah….homey….

Noah: We could've called for help eons ago but you let us live without means of communication as sitting ducks for Sylar and that Hooded Weirdo to come take my daughter?

Elle: Well, I just remembered I had it….

Haitian: How did it not get ruined in the water?

Elle: It's waterproof, which was one of the reasons I bought it….just in case we were stuck in one of these predicaments….Lucky me, huh?

Noah: You are not allowed to speak……ever again.

He storms out.

Elle: He's just mad cause he doesn't have a cute cell phone like mine……jealousy is such an unattractive trait.

Noah: And give me that phone, I have to call someone.

Elle: Gee, I would but I can't talk! What a tangled web we weave…..

Noah storms back in, motioning the Haitian to come back over.

Elle: Uhh….what are you doing?

Noah: _Turn her brain into Jello_.

Elle: ACK! Okay, here……geez….._Grinch!_

Noah gets on the phone and storms back out.

Mohinder picks up the phone.

Mohinder: Hello?

Noah: Mohinder, its Bennet.

Mohinder: Where have you guys been? Is Matt and Claire okay?

Noah: Well, some things happened and we all took refuge in some stupid cabin. Sylar showed up….

Mohinder: Oh boy…..

Noah: He sent Matt somewhere, I couldn't tell you….and that hooded idiot showed up and took off with Claire and Sylar.

Mohinder: The Hooded man is still alive? I thought Matt killed him.

Noah: Apparently not. Can you come pick us up so we can get back on track on what we're going to do?

Mohinder: Sure….I'll be there in a few.

Mohinder hangs up the phone as Niki exits the bedroom.

Niki: Don't worry, I heard everything.

Mohinder: Uh….

Niki: I'll come with you.

Mohinder: Are you sure that's wise….what about the kids?

Niki: Oh right…..I should call a nanny…….

Micah: Oh no….mom not a nanny!

Niki: Well, I can't leave you here by yourself.

Micah: Please, the last nanny was really weird.

Molly: Who was your nanny last time?

Micah: She called herself _Mrs. Doubtfire_; and she looked like a man…..and cantaloupes kept falling out of her blouse.

Molly: That's nothing….Parkman had this one guy named _Hannibal-something_ come and baby sit me…..it wasn't pleasant….

Niki: Maybe I shouldn't leave them here…..last time they got kidnapped.

Mohinder: Well….Hiro's friend is here.

Ando: Huh?!

Niki: Oh right….Hey…uh…you!

Ando: Yes!?

Niki: Could you watch the kids while we are gone?

Ando (blushing): Sure….anything for you, stripper lady!

Mohinder shoots Niki a puzzled look.

Niki: Don't ask, let's just go.

Back in their cell, Claire picks the lock and they open the gate.

Nathan: Ok….follow me.

Nathan leads Claire up a set of stairs to a main hallway of some sort. He looks over and searches through few drawers….pulling out a flashlight; _he turns it on to light his way down the dark corridor_.

Nathan: Man, this place is dark…..okay….let's keep going.

They pursue down the hallway and turn a corner to run into Sylar.

Sylar: Hello again, Claire.

Claire: Oh crap…..

He wiggles his finger as Claire gets swept off her feet and sliding toward him. Nathan thinks for a second and jumps forward, flying to grab her…..but everything stops, Nathan, Sylar and Claire remain frozen in time. As Cy appears….he turns around to notice Hiro and Peter showing up.

Cy: Allright, you guys…urgh….are just in time…..

He disappears with Sylar, time resumes as Nathan and Claire fall to the ground.

Nathan: Wh….What?...Where did he go?

Peter: Hey, you guys allright?

Claire: Yeah, never better….

Cy and Sylar appear in the other room.

Sylar: Wha?...What did you do that for?

Cy: Listen, I'm…..not going to make it…..you are going to have to finish my work for me…..do what Richard Prescott couldn't accomplish.

Sylar: Oh….the man who tried to do crazy experiments on me….

Cy: He wants….well, wanted to rid the world of people with abilities….the only person who can do that is you…..

Sylar: Uh….okay then…..

Cy: But first…..I'm going to help you out…

He takes a few steps back.

Cy: Take it…..take my power……

Sylar: Don't have to ask me twice!

He goes in for the kill….

Peter: Yeah, I don't think it's safe here. I don't know where those two went, but I know that…..

Sylar: I hate to break up the party.

The group turns around to see Sylar sporting Cy's partially bloody cloak.

Nathan: You've changed your look….

Sylar: I've been told to carry out a dead man's wishes…..so I'm going to start with you.

Sylar flings a desk toward them which Peter deflects.

Peter: Good thing that came back, that would've hurt.

Sylar stretches out his arms as a various assortment of knives and swords fly off their display holders on the wall, the float near Sylar, pointing toward the group.

Peter: Oh boy…..I think the desk would've been better.

Hiro stops time, but Nathan and Claire are the only two who are frozen.

Hiro: Oh bad, bad, bad……I'm beginning to think what just happened.

He resumes times as Sylar lets the barrage of deadly weapons loose. Peter holds up his hands as the blades are held back.

Peter: Holy crap…..he's gotten stronger…..

Hiro: We need to get out of here…..

Peter: Hold on….I…..can deflect them…..

Nathan: I don't know Pete; they're getting pretty damn close.

Peter: Almost….

Sylar waves up another arm as Peter breaks his concentration. Hiro grabs each persons arm and squints, teleporting the group out of the way of oncoming attack, the blades zooming by, sticking into the wall at the end of the corridor.

Sylar: Hmph!...

He drapes the hood of the cloak over his head, teleporting out of the room.

On the way back to the apartment, Mohinder and Niki are driving Noah, Elle, and The Haitian back to Civilization.

Elle: Thanks for picking us up!

Mohinder: No problem…..

Noah: We'd call you sooner but _someone was being a twit_.

Elle pats the Haitian on the leg.

Elle: But we still love you…

Noah (to Elle, gritting his teeth): _I was referring to you_….

Elle: Aw….

Mohinder: Well, hopefully Peter found Nathan and we can finally stop and breathe for a minute….

Noah's cell phone rings.

Noah: Hello?

Viktor: Afternoon, Mr. Bennet.

Noah: Oh geez….

Noah (to Elle): It's your boyfriend.

Elle: Well, I don't want to talk to him.

Noah (rolls eyes): What do you want?

Viktor: 2 People…..Claire and Molly……I want to possess what they can do.

Noah: Not this again….and how do you propose you do that?

Viktor: Let's say I have a new trick up my sleeve…..I'm sure you'll consider….

Noah: And if I don't?

Viktor: Then I will kill your wife and son…….

Sandra (overheard): What about Mr. Muggles?

Viktor (off the phone to Sandra): I might turn him into a coat.

Sandra: How rude!

Viktor: You have until tonight….

Noah: ……….

Viktor: And don't worry about directions….your invitation will be in the mail when you get back…..

He hangs up.

_To Be Continued_…..

Next Week: On Heroes…..

Niki (to Noah): What are you going to do? You can't possibly think about giving him Claire!

Noah: I know that! I didn't spend this long trying to protect her just to hand her over to some doofus!

Elle: I can pretend to be her!...

Noah: Great idea, we'll go with that.

Niki: Works for us.

Elle: Wait! I was kidding!...Come on…..dammit!

Matt gets out of the water, completely soaked.

Villager: I can't believe you survived; you're an inspiration to all!

Matt: Wow, it feels nice to be told that every once in a while.

Sylar stands before Viktor.

Sylar: I've come to kill you….

Viktor: Is that so….?

Sylar: But….I do have some unfinished business to attend to first….

Sylar waves his arm, sending Mohinder flying out a window behind him.

_Heroes continues, next week_….


	8. Cause And Effect

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 8: Cause And Effect

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. None of the Bat mobile's Hubcaps were harmed in the filming of this episode.

Elle: _Previously on Heroes_….

Nathan wakes up to find himself in restraints, his wrists chained to a brick wall.

Nathan: Great….now where the hell am I?

He doesn't get to look around for long before he is confronted by Cy.

Nathan: Who are you?...Wait….don't tell me. You're that weird hooded guy that Hiro told me about.

In the Television Van, The Exec pulls out a gun and points it at Sandra and Lyle.

Tv Exec: I said….No phone calls.

Lyle: Uh…..okay freaking out a little.

Sandra: Oh no!..._Is this guy from the 'Lifetime Network' because this is exactly what happened last time_.

Mohinder gets up and grabs the world globe from the desk, he puts it in front of Molly as she closes her eyes and feels around it. Her finger lands on _Iceland_.

Mohinder: Iceland?!

Claire walks forward in the dungeon to find _Nathan_ in shackles.

Claire: It's you!

Nathan: Yup…..

Claire: Oh…..ok…..um…..

Nathan: Yeah….

Claire: This is awkward….

Later…

Cy: Take it…..take my power……

Sylar: Don't have to ask me twice!

He goes in for the kill….

Peter: Yeah, I don't think it's safe here. I don't know where those two went, but I know that…..

Sylar: I hate to break up the party.

The group turns around to see Sylar sporting Cy's partially bloody cloak.

Noah: What do you want?

Viktor: 2 People…..Claire and Molly……I want to possess what they can do.

Noah: Not this again….and how do you propose you do that?

Viktor: Let's say I have a new trick up my sleeve…..I'm sure you'll consider….

Noah: And if I don't?

Viktor: Then I will kill your wife and son…….

Noah: ………

_Niki Sanders   
Mohinder's Apartment  
Matt's Baseball Cards all over the floor_

Niki has just finished taking a shower; she steps out of the tub only to realize she forgot to get a towel.

Niki: Oh, dammit! I hate it when I do that!

Niki opens the door to see if anybody is in the living room. The group has been back at the apartment for a little while after going to retrieve Noah, Elle, and The Haitian from Cabin Fever Hell.

Niki: Hello! Anybody?...

Jessica (in the mirror behind her): You're kidding me right?! You're acting all embarrassed to walk naked in the living room _when these people know what you do for a living_.

Niki: I didn't recall asking your opinion……

Jessica: Just sayin…..

Niki: Hello!?

Nobody answers….

Niki: Ugh!...Stupid Matt had to store the _towels in a cabinet nowhere near the bathroom!_...That just doesn't make any sense….

Jessica: Ooooh, are you gonna run for it? This should be good….

Niki: Ready…..Reeaaady…….GOING!

Niki opens the door and takes two steps before _Hiro, Peter, Nathan and Claire teleport into the room_. She stops dead in her tracks.

Peter: ……

Claire: Wow….this….is uncomfortable.

Niki: Uh……_Hello_……

All: Hey…..uh….Hi….

Niki (slowly backing back into the restroom): So……_who wants to get me a towel_?

Peter: Well…about that….

Claire: Ugh….I'll do it…..

Meanwhile, in another room. Mohinder, Elle, The Haitian, and Noah are talking.

Mohinder: So, what should we do? Viktor wants Claire and Elle or he'll kill your wife and son.

Elle: Oh, is that what's going on?! I wasn't paying much attention. In fact I'm pretty oblivious to most things…

Noah: _There's a surprise around every corner with you isn't there?_

Elle: Yeah…

Noah: Anyway….I don't know, we're going to….

Peter busts into the room.

Mohinder: Peter! I didn't know you came back…

Peter: Heh, well…Niki did….

Mohinder: What?

Peter: Nevermind. Listen, we need to get out of here, now!

Noah: What's going on?

Peter: That Cy guy let Sylar kill him and take his power.

Noah: What?!

Peter (screaming): _I SAID 'THAT CY GUY LET SYLAR KILL HIM…"_

Noah: I heard you the first time!...

Mohinder: So that means…..he can teleport here at any moment.

Peter: Pretty much.

Mohinder: I don't know if Viktor and Sylar are still working together but if they are, this is bad. They can take Molly and Claire at any time….probably right now….._right in the middle of my sentence_….

Noah and The Haitian run out of the room.

Mohinder: It was only a theory.

Nathan walks in.

Nathan: Okay, Niki's getting dressed…and Hiro went to get Ando and the kids….where should we go?

Peter: We need to be somewhere safe….out of harm's way….that's for sure.

_Angela Petrelli opens the door outside to the main courtyard of her Castle Fortress to find Peter and the others standing there_.

Peter: Hi mom!

Angela backs up and closes the door.

Peter: Hmm…._probably thought I was a telemarketer_….

Niki: …I'm leaving that one alone….

Nathan: Uh….What was your idea of 'Safe' and 'Out of Harm's way' again…..?

---The World Rotates It Does……..Heroes!---

_Blub_…..

_Blub_…..

_Blub….Blub…_

_Matt Parkman  
Floating in a pond somewhere  
Whatever you do: Don't feed the ducks…_

After being underwater for a while, Matt scrambles to the surface and gasps for air.

Matt: -_GASP!-_

He swims over to dry land and crawls out. Some people approach him.

Matt: Uh oh…..

Man: Wow! That was incredible…

Matt: It was?

Man: Yeah! Nobody has been bold enough to jump off the waterfall before.

Matt turns around to see the huge falling tower of water behind him.

Matt: I….fell down that?

Man: Yeah, it was awesome….just awesome….here, dry off.

The man hands Matt a towel, he spreads it out as it reads….

_CHAPTER 8: CAUSE AND EFFECT_

Man: The name's Dougie. These are my partners Rhonda and Mike.

Matt: Oh….that's cool….I guess.

Dougie: See, we were trying to get someone to jump off the waterfall for our project.

Matt: Project?

Dougie: Yeah, it's a science experiment.

Matt: Okay….

Dougie: We were kinda too chicken to do it…but since you…well…did the job for us….We would like to see if you would represent us at the show tonight.

Matt: Show…..What kind of show….?

Back at the Castle Fortress.

Mohinder: _The National Scientist Association Annual Seminar Of Outstanding Studies?!_

Peter (going through the mail): Is that what that is….thought it was a bill, almost burnt it….

Niki: We've only been here for a few hours. How are you already getting mail?

Peter: Oh, Hiro was kind enough to teleport back and get the mail……

Mohinder: My mail…._which you're still looking through_….

Peter: Yeah, there's never anything for me. Here you go….

Mohinder: Oh, I love this thing. I've been waiting all year for it.

Niki: What is it?

Mohinder: It's a special awards ceremony where all the top scientists from around the globe get together….and win awards….for scientific things. But enough of that, I've been nominated for _Scientist Of The Year!_

Niki: Oh, how nice….

Noah (entering the room): And I think that's where Viktor is holding my wife and son.

Niki: _At some geeky press conference_?

Mohinder: I'll have you know, it is most certainly _not geeky_.

Niki: Okay….what other events do they hold there.

Mohinder: …A Dungeons and Dragons Convention hosted by a woman dressed like _Lara Croft_.

Niki: _Geeky!_ Anyway……We should come up with a plan to get in there.

Mohinder: But we can't just hand over Claire and Molly.

Peter: I got it!

Noah, Niki, and Mohinder look at Peter.

Peter: Oh…right. Well…..how about this?..._We dress up someone to look like Claire_…..it will fool Viktor, we get Sandra and Lyle back….and we're home free.

Mohinder: But who…..Who do we know that could possibly pass as Claire?….Even a little.

Elle walks by on the phone.

Elle (on phone): And I was like "_NO WAY!" _and she was all "_GET OUT!"_ and I was like "_SHUT UP!_"…..

Pizza Hut Clerk (on other line): _Lady, I don't care about your life story. Do you want to order a pizza or not!?_

The three of them look at each other.

Later….

Elle: NO! No way…..not in a million years….get out!

Mohinder: Come on Elle, you can do this. All you have to do is play 'Victim' for a while, and then when we get out you can electrocute everybody.

Elle: Did you people forget that _I used to go out with the guy!_ The man's not stupid! He'll recognize me in an instant.

Peter: Oh snap……

Niki: Blows that theory all to hell…..

Mohinder: No he won't, if you disguise yourself good enough.

Elle: I don't know…..

Noah: We'll watch you….if anything goes wrong, we'll have Hiro go in there and get you out.

Elle: Well…..It's not going to work.

Noah: Well…..just as long as you get Sandra and Lyle out….that's all that matters.

Elle: Yeah…..wait…._What about me!?_

Noah: Uh….sure, you too.

Elle: I was about to say…..

Mohinder: Okay, you guys get her ready. Meanwhile…..I need to prepare for my acceptance speech.

Niki: Oh brother….

Meanwhile, upstairs.

Angela: You shouldn't have come….this was a very bad idea. What were you thinking?!

Nathan: _It was all Peter's fault!_...Wow, that sounded immature….

Angela: You could lead Sylar to my precious home and he'll kill you guys….even worse he'll probably destroy my brand new kitchen.

Nathan: _Glad you're keeping your priorities straight, mom_.

Angela: 1 or 2 nights and that's it.

Nathan: You can't just kick us out….at least wait until we find a safer place to live or destroy Sylar….whichever comes first.

Angela: Just…..hurry up and do something. Now if you don't mind….I need my beauty sleep.

Nathan: Geez….

Hiro, Ando and Claire are waiting in one of the many living rooms while Micah and Molly are watching Tv. Mohinder shows up.

Claire: Mohinder, my dad told me what's going on….What are you guys going to do to get my mom and Lyle back?

Mohinder: Well…..um……we're going to be professional….tactful….and….accomplish this in a orderly and very safe fashion.

Claire: ….._You're going to send someone dressed like me, aren't you_.

Mohinder: They're going with Elle.

Claire: Ah……Well, whatever get's the job done……What about Molly?

Mohinder: What….about her?

Claire: My dad told me he wanted me and Molly…..who are you going to send in her place….

Mohinder: Oh…..bloody hell….

He turns around and storms out. Claire looks back and Hiro and Ando who shrug.

Mohinder (bursting into a room, Elle reading a script, practicing her 'Claire Lines'): Problem!

Noah: What now?

Mohinder: Who are we going to send as Molly?

Noah: Oh….damn I forgot about her….

Mohinder: We can't fool Viktor by sending him _his ex-girlfriend wearing a shoddy cheerleader outfit and no Molly_. Then he'll get suspicious….

Niki: _THEN_ he'll get suspicious….you people have really high hopes of this thing working….

Noah: I know….we'll send 'Claire' for both Sandra and Lyle. Then we'll give him 'Molly'.

Mohinder: Who will 'Molly' be?

Noah: I was thinking we could cross that bridge when we got there.

Mohinder: Okay….I…I guess we could do that.

At the Convention Center. Viktor walks over and looks out a window down at the lobby. He sees some people walk in with Matt.

Viktor: The 'Cop' is here…..alone?...This should be interesting.

Sandra (tied up): Just what do you think you're planning?

Viktor: Well, since I'm so nice…..Your husband is going to trade me his daughter for you and your son.

Lyle: I don't know, he's really protective of Claire. He'd probably just tell you to keep us just as long as we're fed and watered.

Sandra: Lyle!...Yeah, you're probably right.

Viktor: Oh no…..he'll cave……he wants the whole family together again.

Lyle: Minus Claire?

Viktor: I didn't say I was going to keep her….just….take what's hers….

Sandra: I think he means her regenerative ability.

Lyle: Uh….yeah….

Sandra: Oh this is awful….we need a hero to come rescue us. Who's that guy you like…_Captain Planet?_

Lyle: NO! _I hate Captain Planet!_

Sandra: Are you sure?

Lyle: Yes….

Sandra: I don't know….I'm pretty sure I bought you some Captain Planet toys once….

Lyle: Ugh……

Downstairs…..

Dougie: So tonight they'll give out some awards and they'll make special presentation to our project.

Matt: Why would a National Awards Ceremony give tribute to me for falling off a waterfall?

Rhonda: It's a fascinating experiment. Nobody knows about it yet….

Matt: Oh, that explains some things. Well, I don't know….I'm not very good about speaking in front of groups of people.

-Flashback-

Molly is getting ready for her turn in the Stateside Spelling Bee……_Matt is one of her judges_.

Matt: Okay, Molly. Are you ready?

Molly: Yes, Matt.

Matt: Okay….spell 'Indubitably'…..

Molly: Country of Origin.

Matt: English.

Molly: Uh…..okay….um……Can you use it in a sentence?

Matt: Sure….._Whenever Molly wets the bed, I can't help but to find it indubitably funny_.

Everyone gasps and looks at Matt, Molly is shocked.

Matt: Uh…..Should I use another sentence…?...

-Fin-

Matt: So I might have to pass on this….

Dougie: Well, if you must….but you'll miss out on the _free buffet and open bar_.

Matt: Uh…….Hmm….about that….

Back at The Castle Fortress.

Mohinder: So….how are things going in here?

Noah: Um….I think they're good.

Elle walks into the room with a shoddy looking Cheerleader's outfit and a wig.

Elle: Okay….I think I'm ready.

Mohinder: Works for me…..

Niki (entering the room): Hey, I just talked to Molly. She found Matt…

Mohinder: Good, not in any trouble I would think.

Niki: No….unless if he beats you _for best Scientist of the Year_.

Mohinder: He's at the convention?! How's that?

Niki: Don't ask me.

Mohinder: We'll that's….very strange and coincidental….but it'll work….I think……So anyway, Niki?

Niki: What?

Mohinder: I was thinking….you could….you know…come along.

Niki: And What?

Mohinder: I don't know….like…an escort…..sort of.

Niki: To Geek-A-Thon '08?...Heh, no thanks.

Mohinder: Fine, I'll go by myself……that way I won't miss out on _the free buffet and open bar_.

Niki: Um……Hey, wow….I just found out I had nothing planned tonight….Imagine that.

Mohinder: Yeah….

Niki: I'll just go pick out something to wear.

Mohinder: Great.

Back at the Convention Center.

Rachel (walking up to Viktor): So….you think they'll really show up?

Viktor: Yeah….I just hope for their sake they won't try anything stupid….

Back at the Castle.

Elle (with her Cheerleader outfit and a 'Hi My Name Is Claire Bennet' nametag): Okay, I'm ready to go.

Noah storms up to her.

Noah: What do you think you're doing?

Elle: Uh…duh….pretending to be Claire so you can free your wife and son….geez, even I knew that.

Noah: I meant…what is that?! (Pointing to her name tag).

Elle: Um….so people will know I'm Claire….man, _not the brightest crayon in the box_….

Noah: Well, that's good. Because _you don't want to raise any suspicion and blow your cover or anything_. Just go ahead and put on there 'Not really, I'm really Elle in disguise!'….

Elle: Why would I do that….then they'll know I'm not Claire….

Noah: I have a headache….

Niki is finishing up in the bathroom.

Jessica (in the mirror): That _dress kinda makes you look fat_….just letting you know…..being a friend and all.

Niki: Shut up.

Jessica: Hmm….the dress is kinda pretty….I personally can't wait to wear it.

Niki: Oh no…..don't you even think about it.

Jessica: Oh please, like I'm going to listen to you…..I'm tired of being cooped up in your reflection….I could come out at any moment.

Niki: You better not….or…..else!

Jessica: Don't worry….it'll be when you least suspect it.

Niki: Is there no better time.

Jessica: Well…

Niki: Okay, just finish up here and……

Downstairs…Mohinder approaches the group.

Mohinder: Allright. Niki and I will go in and scope out the place.

Noah: Then The Haitian and Myself will follow with 'Fake Claire' and do the switch.

Mohinder: Okay…and Peter, you and Hiro will stay here and protect Claire and the children in case if Sylar shows up. We'll signal for Hiro to teleport in and get Elle out of there….assuming she isn't already dead.

Elle: Gee, thanks…..

Niki walks down the stairs wearing a beautiful silver dress.

Mohinder: Oh wow, Niki….you look amazing.

Niki: Yeah, I know….

Peter: Well, _you missed it earlier today_….

Niki elbows Peter in the side.

Peter: Ooh…ow….

Niki: Are we ready to get this over with?

They leave the castle and head out to the limo waiting outside.

Later, the limo pulls up in front of the Convention Center. Noah, Elle, and The Haitian remain seated while Mohinder and Niki get out and walk inside.

Mohinder: Isn't this exciting?!

Niki: Uh….sure.

Mohinder: Allright, here we go. We go into the main dining hall here and the ceremony shall start soon.

They walk into the main hall and have a seat at one of the tables.

Mohinder: I wonder where Matt is?...I don't even know how he would end up here; the man doesn't have a scientific bone in his body.

Niki: Maybe he's presenting….who knows?

Noah and The Haitian and Elle (dressed up) are walking down a hallway. They knock on the door; Elle is looking down to hide her face. A guard answers the door.

Viktor: Good Evening Bennet……hmm…..there's a slight problem…..Where's the girl?

Noah: We figured Claire would be more valuable to you than Molly for now. Give me back Sandra and Lyle and we'll give you Molly.

Viktor: Hmph…….I doubt I'll agree to that but first…….Claire?...You sure are looking down a lot.

Elle (as Claire): Oh I just….love the carpet in here.

Viktor: It's tile.

Elle: I mean….._I have a zit_.

Viktor: Really?...

Viktor walks over to Elle 'Claire' and grabs her arm.

Viktor: Interesting tattoo you have on there….almost like the one _my ex-girlfriend has_….

Noah and The Haitian exchange nervous looks.

Elle: Oh….ha, ha….you know me. I just love tattoos!

Viktor: Interesting….In fact I'm surprised your father would approve of such a thing.

Noah: Oh….well, whatever makes her happy….heh….

Viktor: Very beautiful tattoo indeed, hate to….

He takes out a knife and stabs her arm, right in the middle of the artwork.

Viktor: it.

Elle (biting her lip): Oh….no…..that's much….better….heh…ow…

Viktor: Whoa, this is strange….._your wound isn't healing_.

Elle: Oh it will….watch this!

Elle hides her arm for a second and wiggles her fingers.

Elle: It's magic…..Aaaaaand…..(She reveals her arm)….The wound has miraculously healed. I am the real Claire!

Viktor: Who said anything about a 'Fake' Claire?

Elle: Crap.

Viktor: And that's a beautiful _Glow in the dark Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles band-aid you have on it_.

Elle: _Double Crap_….

Noah slaps his forehead.

Viktor: Well, congratulations for wasting my time. Seriously Bennet…._this is pretty low_.

Noah: I know, I know…..

Viktor (to the Guards): ……Kill Them.

One of the Guards pulls out his gun as Elle fires off an electric bolt at his hand' he drops the gun. Noah and The Haitian pull out their own guns and take cover behind a desk. Bullets start flying everywhere.

Elle: Ahh….

She dives back behind the desk with Noah and The Haitian.

Noah: _You're an awful Claire_.

Elle: Yeah, whatever.

Back at the Ceremony.

Presenter: Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen the award we have all been waiting for, _The Scientist Of The Year_.

Mohinder: I know I'm gonna win it….I just know….

Niki: Where the hell is the buffet?!...And the bar!?...I don't see it anywhere…..

Presenter: And the winner is……(Drumroll….someone walks out and hands the presenter a letter)……._Dr. Mohinder Suresh_.

Mohinder: YES!

Presenter: We received notice that you left your car parked in the fire lane. Okay….now the winner is…..

Mohinder: Wha……Uh…….Okay…..Man, that's just cruel, leading me on like that.

Niki: I know….._especially since you didn't drive here tonight_.

Mohinder: Yeah….hey, _you're right!_

Presenter: The winner for Scientist of The Year goes to….._Matthew Parkman_.

Mohinder spits out his champagne.

Niki: Hmm…..okay I guess he wasn't presenting.

Mohinder: Matt won!?...What….

Presenter: Matt has one the award for his studies of '_What it feels like to fall down a waterfall'_.

Mohinder: I don't believe this….._Did you see that!?_

Niki: I'm sitting next to you….of course I saw it.

Mohinder: This is madness; Matt Parkman is not a scientist…what a crock.

Matt (on stage): I would like to thank the Academy of Social Sciences for giving me this Prestigious Award.

Mohinder: Oh, this is just….sad.

Matt: I….always wanted to be a scientist…..Ever since I was little.

Mohinder: No he didn't…..He told me his life long dream was to drive the _Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile_…..I can't believe he's actually milking this….what a buffoon!

Niki: Shhh!

Matt: You know….Everything in our world, Science in general……The fact that we have the ability to study the world around us….is just……_Extraordinary_.

Mohinder: _-GASP!- He stole my word! Did you just hear that?!_

Niki: Shut up!

Mohinder: I will not stand idly by and let him make a mockery of modern science.

He stands up in his chair.

Mohinder (Shouting): _Plagiarist!!!_

Niki grabs him and shoves him back down in his seat.

Niki: Will you shut it for 5 seconds? We'll go talk to him when it's over.

Mohinder: -Grumble-….

Back upstairs…..Bullets are flying….Viktor has left the room.

Elle: Why do you think he left?

Noah: Probably so he could catch a nap….then come in here and possess one of us or whatever the hell it is he does.

Haitian: That's….not good.

Noah: Yeah, we need to get them out of here now….

Hiro gets a text message on his cell phone back at the castle.

Peter: Is that them?

Hiro: Yeah, okay I'm going.

Peter: Okay, I'll stay here and guard the fort.

Hiro teleports out and Peter returns his attention back on the children.

Peter: Don't worry kids; Uncle Peter is going to protect you. I laugh in the face of danger.

Micah: Oh look, a mouse.

Peter: _A MOUSE!?! EEEK!_

Peter jumps on the bed.

Peter: Where is it?!

Micah and Molly shake their heads.

Hiro appears in the middle of the gunfight and stops time. He walks over and teleports Sandra and Lyle out of there. He comes back for Noah, The Haitian, and Elle.

Hiro: Allright, we are done here.

He grabs everybody's arms and teleports out of there…..Not too much later, Sylar teleports into the room.

Sylar: Now, I can finally have some fun…..

Mohinder and Niki approach Matt, who is at the finally discovered open bar and buffet.

Matt: Hey, you guys made it.

Mohinder: Grr…..

Matt: Oh, and I'm fine….I survived.

Niki: on your….award….thing.

Matt: Thanks….

Mohinder: Okay, I'm curious….How the hell did you win that?

Matt: I fell down a waterfall.

Mohinder: …..that's it?

Matt: Yeah.

Mohinder: Okay…..hmm……Where's that bartender?

Matt: So is Claire and the others all right?

Niki: Yeah, that' kinda why we were here…..Noah's wife and son were kidnapped and they were brought here.

Matt: What about Sylar?

Mohinder: Who knows where he is…..

He's looking at the party below from a second floor window.

Sylar: Simple….I could just freeze time and kill everyone. That would be too easy…..Need to be creative….(He teleports out).

Mohinder: Okay, we'll I'm going to run to the restroom real quick, I'll be back.

Matt: I wonder how much this thing would go for on Ebay?

Niki: You're kidding right?

Matt: I don't know…..probably isn't worth much anyway…..Hmm….I wonder if there's chocolate inside.

Niki: Okay, I'm walking away now.

A scream is heard in the dining hall. Matt and Niki look at each other and run back to the room. Someone is lying on the floor…their eyes have been pecked out.

Niki: EW!

Matt: Oh….that's just gross-ness…..

More screams are heard as the giant glass window on the front of the building shatters into a million pieces. A huge flock of ravenous birds fly through into the hall.

Matt: Holy crap……..Here…

He hands Niki a gun. _They are surrounded by people in a panic; both of their guns are drawn_.

Matt: Oh man, not birds…..I hate birds…..Ever since I saw that movie.

Niki: Heh….'_The Birds'_?

Matt: No…._'Home Alone 2'_….that bird lady scared the crap out of me….

Niki: Okay….you're an idiot…..

Matt: What?

The move around the room firing at the birds, making their way to the exit. Rachel is standing at another doorway on the other side of the room.

Sylar, outside, is standing in the parking lot enjoying the scene. Viktor shows up behind him.

Viktor: Birds? Seriously….isn't that a little too tame even for your standards.

Sylar (facing him): Well, not like it matters to you anyways.

Viktor: I see you're still alive.

Sylar: Hmm….all you did was throw me off a train….nothing big.

Viktor: Yeah, I should've known better…

Sylar: Yes….you should've.

Viktor: So….why are you here…..are you actually willing to work with me this time?

Sylar: Why should I?...I was still in the process of getting my memory back and you just threw me out…..In fact, I was sent here to kill you.

Viktor: By who?

Sylar: This robe look familiar?

Viktor!...It's Cy's….but he died on the train….

Sylar: You just thought he did…….

Viktor: Where is he?!

Sylar: Oh, Parkman still shot him good. And he's dead now…..but now it's a good thing he is….or I wouldn't have been able to do this…..

He disappears and teleports behind him.

Viktor: He….gave you his power…..that idiot.

Sylar: Oh, now I wouldn't call him an idiot…..I mean….it's no 'Regenerative Ability' but….it's just as good.

Viktor: Just get out of here….

He starts to walk off.

Sylar: Aren't you the least bit curious on why he wants me to kill you?...

Viktor: No…..Not really.

Sylar (Walking up to him): Revenge….of course……Revenge for the fact that _you got his sister involved in your little game_…_and that you're going to get her killed…very soon_.

Viktor: …..

Sylar: Oh yeah, he told me a lot of things…..

Viktor (laughs): That's a lie…..why would he work with me….

Sylar: And keep an eye on you….to make sure you don't let her do anything too crazy….nah….….

Viktor: She would've known it was him….

Sylar: No…..not really……Interesting man that Cy…….Well….better yet….Simon.

He reaches into a pocket and flicks Cy's 'Primatech Paper Company' badge on the ground', reading '_Simon Prescott_'.

Viktor: That…..

Sylar: He was Richard Prescott's son…..and the main architect of the 'Magical Serum' that his father wanted to use to rid people of their abilities…..He wanted to use it on me the night of the explosion. But Simon messed up on it….he made a very large mistake…..but his father didn't care. He wanted the experiments done now…..Despite the side effects.

Viktor: ….What side effects….

Sylar: Well…they didn't really abolish people's powers much less…..make them stronger….go into major overdrive. When I was injected my brain started working 110 percent and caused the explosion…..Peter was injected too….And cool thing about him is that he can take a person's ability with a single thought…Wish I could do that..._a lot less messy_…..the side effects reversed the process, and his powers….projected themselves to other people. There are people out there today who have some of Peter's abilities…..they just don't realize it yet. Some of them could have actually been lost….but it's a fact that one power, made it to someone….the power to control time…..and it went to the only other living person in the building. (He tugs on his cloak)

Viktor: So he was there too……..Why are you telling me this?

Sylar: I just like knowing that I know more than people….it's a great feeling……Oh….and what you said before, Rachel wouldn't have known it was him. Because if my botched experiment killed our father and my face was horribly scarred in the explosion as the result….(He flips his hood up over his head)…._I'd hide myself too_……(He teleports out)

Viktor: ……

Back inside, Mohinder leaves the restroom. He hears screaming in the other room. He starts to make his way toward the chaos when Sylar appears in front of him.

Mohinder: Sylar….

Sylar: Mohinder, you're missing the fun. What gives?

Mohinder: I don't know what you're up to….but you won't get away with it.

Sylar: Heh…..yeah, the good guys always say that. Well….if you're not going to join the party, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

With the wave of an arm, Mohinder flies backward and slides down the hallway, his body lifts up and crashes through a window at the end of the corridor. Landing in the street, _he turns his head to notice the headlight of an oncoming car shining in his face._ Time stops as the wheel is inches from his face…..

Hiro: Whew! Good thing I decided to show up when I did….

Inside, Viktor's projection walks through the door. He sees Niki shooting at some birds, and notices Matt on the other side of the room. He walks into Niki's body.

Niki: Okay…..(She reloads her weapon, making her way to Matt)

Matt: Niki, what's wrong?...Need more ammo….

Niki holds up her gun, pointing it at Matt.

Matt: Gah…..I guess not…since you already have a target….wait….oh god, are you Jessica now?! Come on, of all places!

She fires the gun, the bullet hits Matt's arm.

Matt: Arrgh…._What the hell did you do that for?!_

She aims at Matt's head…..

Matt: Oh crap…..okay…..Niki….._put the gun_….._down_.

Niki finger lingers over the trigger.

Matt (concentrating): _Put the gun down_…..

Niki (Viktor): What are you trying to prove, Parkman….

Matt: _Drop it_……_Drop the gun_…….

Niki's hands starts to tremble….

Niki: I……I…..can't…..

Viktor's Voice: Shoot him….

Matt: Drop the gun…..

Niki, who is sweating profusely, looks over to see Jessica's reflection.

Jessica: Kill them both….Or I'm just going to have to take over.

Niki: Stop….it…..

Niki drops to her knees; Matt begins to lose control of his telepathy as blood pours from his nose.

Matt: _Drop it!_

Niki starts to rotate the gun upward, toward her own head.

Niki: No….stop….

Viktor's Voice: I'm going to kill you both….then go after the children…their powers will be mine…..

She tries to fight her mind trying to take over….the gun shakes violently left and right…….she pulls the trigger. Matt looks up as Niki raises her hand upward, feeling the rim of her ear where the bullet just grazed it….behind her….she turns to see Rachel….who was shot in the chest….she slumps to the ground…

Niki gains control of her body as Viktor shows up in the room. Matt grabs Niki and they run out of there. Hiro is waiting outside with Mohinder.

Hiro: There you are…..you never came back so we got worried.

Matt: Get us out of here….now.

Hiro: Oh….okay…..

Viktor runs to Rachel's side and kneels down….he is the approached by Sylar.

Sylar: Well, my job here is done…..

Viktor: ……

Sylar: Don't try to go to sleep on me this time…..

Viktor: …….

Sylar stop time and proceeds to take the powers of both Viktor and Rachel……..

Back at the Castle, Mohinder and Niki go and visit Matt in the Infirmary.

Matt: Hey….

Niki: Hey.

Mohinder: How's your wound?

Matt: Not bad….At least I got medical attention. The doctors told me that they had some woman try to _heal a stab wound with a band-aid_….

Niki: Well….um….thanks for uh……not getting me killed back there……It gave me a real headache though.

Matt: Yeah, well…..

Mohinder: Just relax here for a couple of days and you'll be fine.

Matt: Oh….and I know it's kinda cheesy and cliché….but here…..

He hands him his award.

Mohinder: Wow…..really?...

Matt: Sure.

Mohinder: Gee, I really appreciate it…I mean…..wait….(He picks at it)….There's chocolate on the inside….what a piece of junk. Well….I'm definitely not going next year…..

Matt: Well…..what should we do about Viktor now?

Niki (handing Matt a newspaper): I guess nothing….Since the police found his body next to Rachel's…….

Matt: …The tops of their heads were cut off, huh…..Sylar style……Wait……

Mohinder: I guess Sylar finished the job…..and has two more abilities to boot….

Matt: Oh that's bad……So….where is he now?

Mohinder: Who knows….all we can do now is wait…..Molly can't locate him….

Noah and Claire are packing up their things.

Peter: Are you sure you guys are going to be safe….with Sylar lurking about anywhere?

Noah: Yeah, we'll be fine…..we can't live in this….castle forever. Gotta move on with our lives…..we'll get him someday.

Claire: Yeah, thanks for everything. I'll come by and visit….

Peter: Good….just call in advance so mom doesn't have you thrown in prison…..it's not fun.

Claire grabs her bag and walks out, seeing Nathan on the way there. They both give each other an awkward 'nod' and she continues out, the family is loading up in the car.

Noah (talking to The Haitian and Elle): Okay, I'll be moving to this address, we'll keep in touch. Haitian, you'll come running whenever someone puts up a wind chime…

Elle: Yeah, seriously, what's up with that?

Noah: I'll call you in a couple of weeks for our next assignment….

Elle: -GASP!- _Does that mean I'm officially a part of the team_?!

Noah: Uh…..sure, whatever…..Even though you almost got us killed a number of times…

Elle: Sweet…..

Hiro and Ando are standing in hall as well.

Hiro: Well, Ando….looks like our job is done here for now.

Ando: For now..?

Hiro: Yes…..We shall return again when Sylar decides to show up and cause the world great peril.

Ando: So what do we do until then….?

Hiro: What else…._Our boring desk jobs_….

Ando: Oh goodie….

Peter and Nathan are walking up the stairs….they meet up with Mohinder, Niki, and Matt.

Nathan: Feeling better?

Matt: Yeah.

Peter: So…what are you guys going to do?

Mohinder: Well….we probably should move since Sylar is still running around.

Niki: I just hope its okay, everybody leaving like this when the real threat is still around.

Peter: Well….like Noah said, who knows when that time will come when he returns. But we can't go into hiding just because….

Niki: That's true I guess….

Peter: Well, if you want you can stay here for a while, it will at least keep the kids safe. We're staying too….

Angela (overhearing): WHAT?!...You're staying!?...Oh_ this is too depressing, I need a drink_….

She walks off…

Nathan: _She's thrilled_…

Niki: Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt I guess……Be a little bit safer for everyone.

Matt: Oh…Claire forgot one of her suitcases….

Matt bends over to pick up the luggage as Molly is making her way up the stairs…his rear end bumps into her sending her flying down the steps. _WHAP! POW! CRASH! BANG! SLAM!_

Matt (looking up to everyone glaring at him): …..What happened?

_END OF VOLUME 1 - Minds_

_BEGINNING OF VOLUME 2 – Lives_

A man walks into an office and up to the desk of his boss.

Man: Mr. Fox…..here are the files you requested.

He sorts through the files, which are pictures of several different people.

Man: We've been keeping an eye out for these individuals….the explosion that happened over a month ago. I think that house was holding some type of radioactive material or something….we are getting reports that these 7 strangers special powers.

Mr. Fox: Special Powers huh……interesting…..find them and bring them to me.

Man: …Yes sir…..

The man turns around and walks out of the room……

_Heroes continues in 2 weeks…_


	9. Realizations

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 9: Realizations 

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. None of Robin's one liners were harmed in the filming of this episode. _Holy Pointless Disclaimers, Batman!_

We look upon the world as it rotates…..

_-Volume 2: Lives-_

A man walks into his bosses' office, approaching his desk.

Man: I have the information that you wanted, Mr. Fox.

The boss turns around in his chair and grabs an envelope pulling out photographs and information on several people.

Mr. Fox: So….there are 7 of them….

Man: 6 now……1 of them perished about a week or so ago….

Mr. Fox tosses aside the picture of Simon Prescott.

Mr. Fox: And the others?

Man: We have their locations.

Mr. Fox: Good……Find them and bring them to me….we have much work to do.

Man: …Yes, Mr. Fox.

The man turns around and walks out of the room.

_The Bennet Family  
The New Bennet Home  
The New Bennet Living Room_

Sandra (cooking dinner): It's going to be so strange living in Pennsylvania, leaving all our friends behind again. If I wouldn't know any better, I think we do this at least 4 or 5 times a year.

Noah: Yeah, but now that we are going undercover again to protect ourselves, we need a new last name. Any ideas?

Sandra: OOH! Can I use my 'Top Hat'?! It was made specifically for voting and that sort of thing!

Noah: Uh…..whatever.

Sandra skips away to find her hat. Claire and Lyle are chillin on the other couch.

Claire: Man, I just hate going to a new school. Especially since it's almost the end of the year, it's just odd.

Noah: Well, it won't be too much longer, then you'll be graduated and you won't have to worry about it anymore.

Claire: Then I can worry about college.

Noah: Uh…..sure.

Claire: ….

Noah: …..-Cough!-

Claire: _I'm not going to college, am I?_

Noah: That'll be a 'no'.

Claire: Why not?!

Noah: Well, we'll see…..it just depends on how things go with Sylar sneaking about wherever…..we just got to be safe. Just to make sure you got the message, Lyle made a flash video on what would happen if you did go to college.

Lyle walks over to the computer and starts the little movie he made. A cartoon Claire walks on screen.

Claire Cartoon: Tee Hee. I'm such a girl……Watch me twirl my hair……I love stickers!

Claire: _I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT!!!_

She spots a strand of hair lingering down her arm.

Claire: Oooh, pretty hair! (She starts twirling it) _Tee Hee!_

Claire Cartoon: Oh this is so much fun being off to college.

A Cartoon Sylar shows up.

Sylar Cartoon: Blarg! I am the villain! I'm going to take your power!

The Sylar Cartoon does a little dance and the Claire Cartoon explodes, _blood and guts flying everywhere._

Claire: Well, that doesn't look fun.

Noah: You didn't have to make it so gruesome, Lyle!

Lyle: It was a tool they added on in the last update…_I couldn't resist_.

Sandra: I FOUND MY HAT!

All (twirling their fingers): …._yay_.

Sandra: Okay, everybody put in a name.

Noah, Claire, and Lyle all write down a suggestion on a piece of paper and throw it in the hat. Sandra puts down her idea and tosses it in. Shaking the hat before handing to Noah.

Sandra: Here you go, darling.

Noah: Uh….thanks. (Reaching in the hat) Okay….the name we will use is……._The Simpsons_……no.

Lyle: Aw….

Noah: The Smiths…..doesn't get any more original than that. We'll blend in nicely.

Everyone: NO!

Noah: Okay fine……..how about……._The Muggles Family?!_

Claire: Gee, I wonder who put that in there.

Sandra: I did!...It was me……...I got the idea from Mr. Muggles.

Claire and Lyle:_DUH!_

Noah: Okay, we all vote 'Hell No' on that one….

Sandra: Hmph!

Noah: And the last one…..which in the end making drawing out of a hat utterly pointless……The Flintstones…..

Claire: It's not one of my better suggestions, but I don't do good when put on the spot.

Noah: Allright, we'll go with that. From now on we're known as….._The Flintstones_……I hate it already.

In a building downtown somewhere

A man in a black suit and tie walks through the hall law offices of _McGregor & Wells_. In her office, Sarah McGregor is on the phone.

Sarah (talking on the phone): Uh huh…..okay……that's fine……right, just have them there by six….okay….

Sarah's Secretary: Mrs. McGregor….you have someone here to see you.

Sarah: Huh….oh…um….okay, send them in.

Sarah hangs up the phone and turns around to find the man with the suit closing the door behind him.

Man: Good afternoon.

Sarah: Hello, was there something I could help you with?

Man: Well, I've been sent here because we were looking for you…..we were interested in what….you could do?

Sarah: Well, I am a lawyer…..so what were you needing?

Man: No….not like that…..your….ability.

Sarah: ….I'm sorry…..What?

Man: We have records that you can move objects with your mind.

Sarah (laughing): Uh….no….that's just absurd.

She reaches for her bottle of water which slides across the table, obviously catching the man's attention.

Sarah: The desk slants a little….

A fly buzzes near her head and she swats at at, the desk rises through the air, crashing against the wall.

Man: …..

Sarah: I….can't explain that one.

The man starts to approach her, she makes him fall to the floor with the flick of a hand, making her way to the window.

Sarah: Oh….I have a feeling that this isn't a good idea.

She gets out on the ledge and starts to shimmy away from the window. The man crawls outside and onto the ledge himself.

Sarah: Get away! Don't make me fling something at you!

Sarah loses her footing and slips, while falling to the ground. The scene stops and turns into a portrait….being drawn by Peter Petrelli, sitting in the middle of the living room of Mohinder's apartment, Angela's castle is getting fumigated for rats.

Peter: Hmm….interesting….now just need a touch of…..hey, where's the blue?

Matt: Oh, I had to use it to help Molly with her project.

Molly runs out screaming, panicking that her face and arms _were a much different color_.

Niki (walking out of the kitchen, eating a sandwich): What's going on in……oh my god,_What the hell happened to Molly?!_

Molly: It was Matt! He colored me blue!

Matt: I was only trying to help you with your little school project….Hmph….kids, so ungrateful.

Molly: I was supposed to _do an oral report on The Smurfs! Not dress up like one!_

Matt: Well, excuuuuse me!

Molly: I think I'm getting woozy….

Matt: Don't worry, they're not toxic…._I used to eat Crayons when I was a kid_.

Niki: _And behold; the final piece of the puzzle_! It all makes sense now….

Matt: Huh?!

Peter: Oh, enough of this…Molly, come here.

Molly walks over to Peter, _who takes her hand and rubs it on the portrait…filling in the last part of 'Blue' that he needed._

Peter: Yay! It's finished….Thanks!

Molly: Ugh!

She storms off to the bathroom.

---As The World Turns…..Heroes!---

_Peter and The Mohinder's Apartment Residents  
Mohinder's Apartment_

Niki is putting her plate in the sink, as the water runs down the dish that reads:

_CHAPTER 9: REALIZATIONS_

Niki (walking back into the living room): And….you're here because….

Peter: I came to show you this portrait!

Niki: Well, you spent all morning here _working on the portrait; _ and now poor Molly _is scrubbing 2 layers of blue flesh_ _off her skin_ because _SOMEBODY_ was an idiot.

Matt: …._NIKI!_

Niki slugs him.

Matt: Ow!

Niki: _I was talking about you, moron!_

Peter: The thing is….I have no idea who she is…..or where she could be.

Molly leaves the bathroom and is grabbing her backpack.

Molly: I got most of the blue off….but I got to get to dance practice…so I'll scrape off what I can while I walk.

She leaves.

Matt: Say….where's Micah?

Niki: His class is taking a field trip today, so I let him go.

Matt: Ah….

Peter: We need to find this woman.

Niki: But how?

Mohinder (exiting his bedroom): I have the answer…

Niki: Were….you eavesdropping?...You don't have to do that, you know….

Mohinder: I have created this device where we can determine where the scene's of Peter's Pre-Cognitive Artwork takes place.

Niki: Say what?

Mohinder: Well, we always have Molly to tell us _where_ this person is….but this new device is really useful; it can pinpoint the exact location of where it's taking place.

Niki: How the hell does it do that?!

Matt: _You build stuff?!_

Mohinder: Every now and then….but it's simple. It reads the picture and scans every particle and runs it through a database using….

Niki: Let me guess…._Google Earth_.

Mohinder: …uh….anyway….

Niki: Thought so.

Mohinder: It picks out particles in the air and measures the longitude and latitude of each particle thus….

Matt: My head hurts…

Mohinder: Thus….it can tell us the location any portrait or picture we scan into.

Niki: I highly doubt that, but whatever…..Let's see what this thing does.

The group walks into Mohinder's room as he sets up the machine.

Peter: Okay….so….what do I do?

Mohinder: Go ahead and lay the picture on the scanner there.

Peter sets the portrait on the scanner as Mohinder types something. The machine starts to make a noise.

Mohinder: Okay….it's working.

……_DING!_

Niki: Ding?!

Mohinder: Okay…..Matt, could you pull out that piece of paper? It should have the coordinates.

Matt rips off the slip of paper and reads it.

Matt (reading): _Good Fortune is coming your way free with the purchase of one egg roll_,_your lucky number is 12?!_

Niki: Well, I saw this coming about _12 lines of script ago_…..

Matt: Yeah, I mean _Free WITH the purchase of an egg roll, what a rip off!_

Mohinder: It's just a bug….it could use some work…

Peter: But what should we do about the picture?

Mohinder: I…..guess…..we could go ask Molly...

Niki: Genius…..

_Noah Bennet  
The Bennet Household  
Not built on an Ancient Indian Burial Ground_…._at least that's what the realtor said_….

Noah finishes taking a shower and puts on his bathrobe; he exits out to his room to find….

Noah: Oh no…..

Elle and several other employees are hard at work, talking on the phone, working on computers, running around like maniacs.

Elle: Yo, Mr. B!

Noah: Uh….

Elle: As you can see, my subordinates are hard at work trying to track Sylar down….we'll get him!

Noah: That's all great Elle, _but do you have to do this in my bedroom!?_

Elle: Your phone doesn't work….so this way we'll be able to keep in touch with no problem!

Noah: Oh goody!...Now if you don't mind….

Elle: Oh…._here's your breakfast!_

Noah: What?...

Elle: I took the liberty of bringing you breakfast!

Noah: Why?

Elle: Well, since it's my first official day on the team, I thought breakfast was in order….I made it myself.

Noah: ….Where?

Elle: Here, Silly! I had some connections.

Noah: ….Who?

Elle: Your wife, she let me in.

Noah: When?

Elle: This…..morning…….in fact, it's the afternoon you better eat that before it gets cold….

Noah: I'll do just that.

He leaves then steps back in.

Noah: And get these people out of my room!

_Claire Flintstone  
Crestmont High School  
Formally Known As: High School Musical High School_

Claire is walking through the halls of her first day at her new school.

Student: Hi!

Claire: Hi, I'm new.

Student: Really, that's strange _since there's only like a few weeks left in the school year_.

Claire: I'm a quick learner.

Student: Uh huh….

Claire walks into her Biology class and sits next to a girl with long pink hair.

Sunny: HI!

Claire: Uh….hi.

Sunny: I'm Sunny!

Claire: That's nice….

Sunny: What's your name!?

Claire: Claire……Flintstone….

Sunny: WOW!

Claire: …..Yeah, it's a great name.

Sunny: Let's be total best friends!!!

Claire: Excuse me?

Mr. Perkins: Okay class, we have a new student today. This is Claire Bennet.

Claire: GAH!

Mr. Perkins: Oh sorry….my glasses are foggy, got the names mixed up….Claire Flintstone….

Claire: That was….weird.

Mr. Perkins: Okay, so did anybody read the passage last night?

Some of the students nod.

Mr. Perkins: Claire! Can you tell me what a Quantum Electro Tri-Ambulate Equals To The Molecular Antidote Of The Fifth Power Times The Square Root Of Hydrogen?

Claire: WHAT!?

Mr. Perkins: Well, somebody hasn't done their reading!

Claire: It's my friggin first day!

Mr. Perkins: ….F….MINUS!!

Claire: Ugh, I hate this school already!

Mr. Perkins: But enough of that….today the class will team up into groups of two for this week's Science Project. Sunny, you can choose first.

Sunny: I choose Claire! Cuz we're super best friends!

Claire (screaming in her head): _DAMMIT!_

Mr. Perkins: Allright, and the rest of the class can split up as well.

Sunny: Super Cool! We can make science stuff! And play with stickers and talk about girl stuff and it will be just awesome!

Claire (thinking): Oh crap, I just realized I'm partnered up with a _younger version of Elle_…..this sucks!

_Peter, Niki, Matt, and Mohinder  
Super Stars Dance Hall Learning Center  
Where if you child doesn't learn to dance within the first 5 lessons_…._THEY'RE KICKED OUT!_..._MWA HA HA HA!_

Niki: This looks like the place…

The four of them get out of the car and walk into the giant warehouse looking building.

Mohinder: Excuse me?

Instructor: Yes?

Mohinder: Hi I was wondering if we could speak to Molly, it's important.

Instructor: Well, she's practicing with the other children but….hold on.

Matt: OOOH!

Niki: What?

Matt: Lever….

Niki: Don't.

Matt: Must….pull…..lever.

Niki: Don't do it, Parkman. You don't know what it does.

Matt: Exactly. It's shrouded in mystery!...The Suspense….The Magic…..The Thrill……Will candy pour out? Will we fall to our deaths?…..Or will we be treated to a delightful clip from _Walker: Texas Ranger_?

Niki: I hate you….so much.

Matt: Only one way to….

Niki: Matt! If you pull that lever….I will break your face…

Matt: …..Okay……

Niki: ……Now, hopefully we can talk to….

Matt pulls the lever, a trap door flops open on the stage as some child _besides Molly_ falls through.

Matt: Aw….that's it….no candy? Bah!

Mohinder: _What is your fixation with injuring children_!?

Matt: What?! I take offense to that…..

Molly runs up to the group.

Molly: Hi guys, did you come all this way just to watch me dance?

Matt: _Of course not!_ But we do have some questions for you….

Niki grabs Matt by the ear and drags him out of the building.

Matt: HEY!...ow, ow, ow, ow, ow………

Mohinder: Molly, I hate to tear you from what you were doing…

Molly: That's okay; we're taking a break because some idiot pulled the trap door lever.

Mohinder: Yeah, Matt and levers never turn out to be a good combination.

Peter: Molly, can you tell us where this woman is?

Molly looks at the portrait……

Molly: She…..is on an airplane.

Mohinder: What else can you tell us?

Molly: I can't really say without a map….

Mohinder: Okay, thanks anyway.

Molly: Well, I better get back.

She runs off.

Peter: An airplane huh?

Mohinder: That doesn't narrow it down very well. Could she be coming or going?

Peter: We need to find out who she is first….then maybe we can check the airlines.

Mohinder: That sounds like a plan….let's head back to the apartment. Maybe we can dig up something there.

Mohinder and Peter walk out; Peter looms back in and yanks the lever. _CRASH!_

Instructor: Okay, that's it. We have got to move that lever somewhere else….

_Hiro and Ando  
A Convenience store, somewhere in Japan  
Firearms are prohibited_…._unless you say 'Please'_.

Hiro: These magazines are so boring….same old news.

Ando: Well, some of them aren't _that_ boring! (Flips through a 'Girls of Summer' mag)

Hiro: Oh Ando…..life sure has been kind of a drag lately since we came back here.

Ando: Yup.

Hiro: We need some excitement back in our lives…..an exciting adventure to go on.

Ando: I don't know, after that last one I kinda want to take a break from the adventuring thing.

Hiro: -Gasp!- Ando! Look what I found!?

Ando: Not another Chinese Prophet I hope…..

Hiro: No….it's the annual 'Fire Dragon Festival'!

Ando: WOW! I have no idea what that is!

Hiro: Every year, people from around Japan compete in this prestigious event. And the winner gets the most valuable prize ever known to man….

Ando: A cruddy trophy soaked in gold spray paint?

Hiro: No, even better than that! You win…..Honor……Acceptance……Admiration………_and a cookie_.

Ando: Cool!

Hiro: Let's sign up for this right now!

Ando: It will keep us busy until the next crisis….

Hiro: That's the spirit!

Back at Mohinder's Apartment.

Niki is flipping through some channels; Peter and Mohinder are on the internet.

Peter: Man, this is pointless….we've been on the internet for _5 minutes_ and haven't came up with anything….

Mohinder: We have to keep looking Peter, the answer isn't just going to pop up in front of our noses.

Niki (pausing the Tivo): It did for mine, her name's Sarah.

Peter and Mohinder look at the television with Sarah advertising her law firm in a commercial.

Peter: That's her all right…..

Mohinder: We got a name; we can see what flight she's on now.

Niki: Uh…..can they even do that?

Mohinder: I don't see why not, and if they resist…..we can use our expert psychic to do the job.

Matt: Finally, some love!

Mohinder: Well, I was actually referring to Madam Zelda a few doors down….but you'll do.

Matt: It pays to be second-best!

Niki: Let's just go…..

_Noah Bennet and Co.  
Isaac Mendez's Loft  
To Be Known As: The loft that nobody really owns but can be accessed by anybody_

Noah: Okay…….let's split up.

Elle: And search for clues!

Noah: Well….sort of. We need anything that could lead us to Sylar….

Elle: I found a matchbook!

Noah: So?

Elle: I have a theory….

Noah: Why did I bring you along again?

Elle: After Sylar left the Scientists Convention, he came here…..to….._Relax_.

Noah: ……That's it!?

Elle: I'm not finished!

Noah: Well, wrap it up!

Elle: He was running low on funds…..so he got a part time job…..at……_The Tipsy Sailor Bar And Pub_……where he was……a bartender…..

Noah: What the?!

Elle: SHH!...He was doing good…..and he met a girl named…._Wanda!_...And they fell in love…..but she cheated on him with his best friend……._Who was none other than_……

Noah: ….

Haitian: ….

Elle: …..

Noah (getting pissed): ….

Haitian: ……

Elle: ….._To Be Continued_…

Noah: GAH! _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT!?_

Elle: It was just a thought….

Noah: Stop wasting our time with your ideas for crappy romance novels and look for something!

Elle: Okay, okay…….Geez…..

A man knocks on the door.

Elle: GASP!

Noah: You don't actually say the word 'Gasp!'…you…..oh forget it…..

Man: Hi…..I was looking for a Mohinder Suresh.

Noah: Hmm….well……you just might be in luck.

Elle: Yes….my friend here is _Super Singing Sensation 'Seal'_….and I'm the uber-hot _'Heidi Klum'_!

Haitian: I don't think that will work twice…..

Elle: That means…..(Looking at Noah)…..He's _Dr. Suresh_.

Noah: You are not allowed to talk…..again……ever…..

Elle: What did I do?!

Man: Okay…..Dr. Suresh?

Noah: Yes?

Edward: My name is Edward….I read your father's book.

Elle: Your father didn't write a book, he was a cobbler…..or he made cobblers…..I forget which one's which.

Noah grabs a rag and stuffs it in Elle's mouth.

Elle: _UFF!_

Noah: Go on my child…..I'm listening.

Edward: Well…..I think I may have a…..what you would like to call….an 'Extraordinary' ability.

Noah: Go on.

Edward: Okay….watch……

Edward reaches over and grabs a knife, running it down his arm. The wound starts to automatically heal itself, which grabs Noah's attention off the spot.

Noah: That……

Edward: See!? It started happening about a few weeks ago.

Noah: Okay……let's take you somewhere else…..I'll make a phone call.

_Hiro and Ando  
The Fire Dragon Festival Sign In Booth_

Hiro (waiting in line): Oh, this is exciting Ando!

Ando: Yes….thrilling.

Hiro: Can you imagine me winning the coveted Dragon Statue?

Ando: What happened to the cookie?

Hiro: We can worry about cookies later….but we have more important things to deal with.

They get up to the sign in desk.

Clerk: Are you signing up for the competition?

Hiro: Yes!

Clerk: Name?

Hiro: Hiro Nakamura.

Clerk: Thank you, please train thoroughly before the match and you are responsible for bringing your own food. The match will start in 3 days at 2:00 pm, you cannot be late. We are not responsible for damages.

Hiro: What….kind of damages?

Clerk: To you, pretty much.

Hiro: Ah…..okay.

Clerk: Sign here….and we'll see you in 3 days.

Hiro: Okay!

They walk away from the stand as Hiro shuffles through some papers.

Hiro: Okay, Ando….now we must train.

Ando: Train?!

Hiro: Yes, you have to be my trainer….make sure I'm in top shape for the competition.

Ando: Why do you have to train….just stop time and grab the flag…or whatever it is you have to do.

Hiro: NO! I can't do that, Ando….That would be cheating.

Ando: But it's so much easier….

Hiro: No, I know I would win…..but technically Ando…….I _wouldn't really win_.

Ando: Uh….yeah you would. You get the trophy, the honor, and most importantly…._The Cookie!_

Hiro: I'll have honor from the fans…..just not honor for myself!

Ando: Well…_nobody cares about that!_

Hiro: We start training tomorrow morning!

Ando: Man……

At a McDonald's, Claire and Sunny are eating and discussing their Science Project plans.

Sunny: Wow, Claire, I'm really glad we're Science Partners.

Claire: Uh….sure….Me too.

Sunny: I can't wait to start on it; it's going to be the best!

Claire: I bet.

Claire is about to take a bite of her hamburger…

Sunny: EEEEEEEK!

She slaps it out of Claire's hands as it flies to the ground….

Claire: What the hell was that?!

Sunny: You were about to…..eat…._MEAT!_

Claire: ….So?! What's the big…..oh…..

Sunny: I'm a vegetarian!

Claire: Well…..it wasn't like _you_ were going to eat it….why did you slap it out of my hands?

Sunny: I take a strong stand against cruelty to animals. Helpless cows shouldn't have to die just so we can take advantage of the ever popular '_Dollar Menu'!_

Claire: First off…..the dollar menu is just…..great. It's easy and cheap, great for my budget. And second, honestly….the cow is already dead, what kind of person would I be to let that poor animal die in vain?

Sunny: That's not the point!

Claire: Well, then why did we come here?

Sunny: I love their chocolate milk!

Claire: Riiiight…..

At the Airport, Peter and the others head inside the terminal and up to the clerk,

Clerk: Hi! Welcome to 'Paradise Airways'.

Peter: Hi….I need to find someone, we believe she might be coming here. He name is Sarah McGregor; we need to see what flight she is on.

Clerk: Well, I don't think I can disclose that type of information.

Peter: Damn…..okay….

Niki: I don't get it. Molly said she was on a plane….you don't even know if she's coming to this airport.

Peter: I think she is…..I know deep down inside she is meant to come here….

Niki: Okay, I'm not anymore convinced.

Matt: Wait, leave this to me.

Matt walks up to the clerk and stares at her, concentrating on her thoughts….

Clerk (thought): Hmm…..Oh, good I was able to find it. Gate F. She should be here then….

Matt: Excellent.

Clerk: Huh?

Matt: Gate F……

Mohinder: When should she be landing?

Matt: Now.

Mohinder: We better hurry.

The four of them run through the terminal to Gate F.

Matt: Out….-Gasp!-….of breath…..-Wheeze!-

Peter: Okay….they're unloading.

The door opens as people make their way off the plane.

Peter: I don't see her!

Matt: That's what the woman was thinking!

Niki: Are you sure she wasn't talking about somebody else?

Matt: That could be a possibility.

Niki: You idiot!

Two woman walk by the group.

Woman: Yeah, I just got through talking to Sarah; I hear she's doing well.

Other Woman: Yeah, a successful lawyer and everything. Too bad she had to leave.

Mohinder: Uh oh…she already left!

Matt: Good thing those ladies were just having that spontaneous conversation right next to us!

Niki: Where could she be now? Do we have to get Molly again?

Peter: No…..I know_exactly where she is_…..

Mohinder: You do?

Peter: Yes…..and I shall teleport us there!

Niki: In front of all these people?

Peter: ……okay…..then I shall…..walk…there.

Niki: That's better.

Back at the Bennett Home.

Sunny is working on the Science Project; Claire is hiding in the bathroom. She peeks her head out to spy on her….or at least until.

Lyle: What are you doing?

Claire: I love the smell of the bathroom door…..It smells like Christmas Morning….Go away!

Lyle: Are you spying on your science partner?

Claire: Yes….she's just weird.

Lyle: Says the 'Bathroom Door Smeller'.

Claire: Shut up……

Lyle: So she's weird because she's a Vegan? What's wrong with that? It's a healthier lifestyle I would think.

Claire: No, it's not that. It's just……..wait, how do you know that?

Lyle: I was at McDonalds when she slapped that burger out of your hand…_I nearly wet my pants!_

Claire: Ugh….no she's just….giddy….and….I don't know. I can't explain it….She's just an odd one.

Lyle: Okay, I've heard enough. I didn't come to chat; I need to use the bathroom.

Claire: No, I'm not done.

Lyle: I don't care. Get out!

Claire: Use the upstairs bathroom.

Lyle: Mom broke it trying to potty-train Mr. Muggles.

Claire: Man, I don't know _how many times she accidentally flushed that dog_.

Lyle: Yesterday was the fourth….get out!

Claire: Hold on…..I'm almost finished.

She slams the door.

Lyle: That's it, Claire….you left me no choice but to do something extremely sneaky and brilliant…._MOM, CLAIRE WON'T LET ME USE THE RESTROOM! _

Sandra comes running down the stairs in a panic.

Sandra: Sorry, sweetie. I don't have time to deal with your problems.

She reaches in a closet and pulls out a plunger.

Sandra: I'm dealing with a real _Bennet Family Crisis!_

Lyle: Okay….that's_five times now_.

Hiro and Ando are training for the big tournament.

Hiro: Okay, master.

Ando: Yes, grasshopper.

Hiro: What should I do for my training, master?

Ando: You….must train…..for the tournament…..for Honor……for Love……for cookie!

Hiro: Yes.

Ando: And you must start training right away!

Hiro: Yes, master.

Ando: Take this pole with two buckets of water on each end and run up these stairs.

Hiro: Um….what?

Ando: Take the buckets of water and run up the stairs, they usually do that on the martial arts films.

Hiro: But….but…._That's a lot of stairs!_

Ando: You defy your master!?

Hiro: Yes! Yes I do! That's a lot of stairs!

Ando: Then you…..ARE WEAK!

Hiro: WHAT!?! Nobody calls Hiro Nakamura weak!

Ando: Then…..take these buckets to the top step!

Hiro: I WILL! For you, master!

Ando: And no teleporting.

Hiro: Uh…..

Ando: _You were actually going to do that?!_ What happened to your whole 'Cheating Speech'!?

Hiro: Well, that was just pertaining to the _actual_ game….

Ando: Well, pretend this is the game. And train as hard as you can!

Hiro: You're right Ando….I will!

Hiro grabs the buckets of water and charges forward, tripping over the first step. The buckets go flying.

Ando: Okay….that's…..a good start.

Claire goes back into the living room.

Claire: Sorry that took so long.

Sunny: Not a problem, friend. I already finished!

Claire: Excuse me?

Sunny: Well, I just love making project I had to get started right away. Oh….I hope you didn't feel left out. Don't worry, you'll still get credit.

Claire: Oh….uh….okay….um….Where is it?

Sunny: Silly! It's right here!

Claire: All I see is a cup of milk.

Sunny: Yeah!

Claire: Um…..what's with the cup of milk?!

Sunny: Watch…..it's regular milk….but when I add this _magic powder_…..it turns color, thus becoming…._CHOCOLATE MILK!_

Claire: ……………

Sunny: _TA DA!_

Claire: ……….

Sunny: …._TA DA!!!!_

Claire: ……..

Sunny: ……_TA!_

Claire: I heard you! Um…..that's…..the project?

Sunny: YEAH! Isn't it just wonderful?!

Claire: It's…..a glass…..of chocolate milk.

Sunny: I know!

Claire: That is not a science project…..it's not even science…..It's a glass…..of chocolate milk.

Sunny: No…..it's the science project. You have to add the powder to change the flavor.

Claire: That's not science, Sunny. That's just the easy directions supplied by Nestle to make…..the chocolate milk.

Sunny: No, Claire. It was milk….but you stir in the powder it becomes a whole new drink.

Claire: Not a whole new drink, just an upgraded version of one. It's not science.

Sunny: Yes it is.

Claire: No it's not! If you have a ham sandwich, it's just a ham sandwich! If you add cheese it becomes a _ham and cheese sandwich_. It's not science, _its preference!!_

Sunny: …..No….but the milk….

Claire: It's just milk….

Sunny: Chocolate Milk….made deliciously by science.

Claire: NO! YOU MADE IT! Not science, it's not a project, or experiment! You just added two freaking teaspoons of the chocolate powder into the milk to make it….What? Huh? Oh…._CHOCOLATE MILK!_

Sunny: But science blended them together.

Claire: _YOUR SPOON DID THAT!!!! THERE WAS NO SCIENCE INVOLVED!!! End of story, game over, done, finito!_

Sunny: Well, Claire….I'm starting to get the impression that you don't believe in my science project.

Claire: _NOW you're getting it?!_

Sunny: I'll just take my project and leave; you can be on your own!

Claire: Fine!

Sunny: Fine!

Claire: Good!

Sunny: Goody Goody!

She skips out.

Claire: Even when she's pissed she's happy….that just gets on my nerves…….Great, now I have to come up with my own project. But whatever it is, it'll be better than a glass of chocolate milk….which does sound good. Hmm….probably should've asked for a glass before running her off…..oh well…..

Peter and the gang arrive at the law offices of McGregor and Wells.

Niki: Hey….how did you know to come here?

Peter: Well, she landed and it's the middle of the day. I thought maybe she went back to work.

Mohinder: Let's see if she's actually here first.

Niki: But she was falling in the picture. Do you think she fell from this building?

Peter: Possibly. You two wait out here. Mohinder and I will go up.

They walk into the building and proceed to the elevators. Upstairs, the mysterious man in the black suit is making his way to Sarah's office.

Sarah: Uh huh…..okay……that's fine……right, just have them there by six….okay….

Sarah's Secretary: Mrs. McGregor….you have someone here to see you.

Peter and Mohinder are waiting in the elevator.

Peter: No music.

Mohinder: Hmm?

Peter: There's no music…..in the elevator…..strange.

Mohinder: Ah, yes……yes it is…..

The man in the suit is talking to Sarah.

Man: We know what you can do….we need you….and your ability.

Sarah I don't know what you're talking about!

Peter and Mohinder are walking down the hall, running into the secretary.

Sarah's Secretary: Oh, sorry you'll have to wait. She's with someone.

Peter: Hmm….

Peter goes on ahead.

Secretary: AHH! Wait!

Peter bursts down the door as the man is halfway out the window. He pulls a gun on Peter as he flings it out of his hands.

Man: What the?!...You can do that too?

Peter flings a book at the man's head, knocking him out. He rushes over to the window.

Peter: HEY! Come back this way!

Sarah: NO! You might be one of those weird guys!

Peter: No I'm not, really!

Sarah: I don't believe you…

She loses her footing and falls off the building.

Sarah: AHHHHH!

Peter: Oh crap….

Mohinder (running up): Peter! Do something!

Peter: Uh…..

He stops time as Sarah is about to hit the ground. Peter runs back to the ground floor and outside…positioning himself to catch her. He resumes time.

Matt: AHHHH! Man, don't do that. You damn neared scared me to death!

Sarah: Wait….I'm…..not…dead?

Peter: Nope!

Sarah: Weren't you just up….there?

Peter: uh……no?

Sarah: …..

Matt: Well, at least everything nobody got hurt….._now_.

Mohinder (running out): Oh good….you did it.

Peter: Where did the guy go? The one in the office….

Mohinder: What guy? I didn't see anybody.

Peter: Hmm……

Hiro and Ando are at the sign in.

Clerk: Did you get enough training?

Hiro: I sure did!

Voice: No amount of training will ever be enough to defeat me!

Hiro: Oh no…..

He turns around to see….

Hiro: Ugh…..Mieoko….

Ando: Who is that?

Hiro: My Arch-Nemesis!

Ando: You actually have an _arch-nemesis_? I didn't think anybody actually had those….

Mieoko: I can't believe _YOU _are actually going to compete…that's hilarious!

Hiro: Shows what you know! I've been training night and day _running up and down stairs with buckets of water!_

Mieoko: Ooooh, impressive! (laughs) Well, all that won't matter when _I win the statue_…..

Ando: What about the cookie?

Mieoko: _Especially the cookie!_

Ando: -Gulp!-

Mieoko: So long…losers!...Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…..

Hiro: Oooooh! I must win, Ando…..

Ando: I don't know, that dude has one freaky laugh….he might have the upper hand here.

Hiro: ……

Claire is back in biology class. The students get ready to show off their projects.

Mr. Perkins: Okay class, ready to show off your projects. Claire, it's unfortunate that you and Sunny didn't work out as a group. So I hope you have something good. Come on up.

Claire walks to the front of the class.

Claire: This is….._A Chia Pet!_

The class looks unimpressed.

Claire: When you pour water on it….it grows….watch!

She grabs a pitcher of water and pours it on the Chia Pet…._and nothing happens!_

Claire: It needs a second…._Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!_

The class looks even less impressed.

Claire: I think I got a dud..

Mr. Perkins: F Minus…..NEXT!

Claire: -Grumble!-

Sunny walks up to the front of the class.

Sunny: Behold!...The miracle of science!

She places a glass of milk on the counter, and puts in some Nestle's Quik Powder.

Mr. Perkins: Hmmm.

Sunny: Now…watch!

She takes out a spoon and starts to stir in the powder, as it changes to….

Sunny: Voila!_Chocolate Milk!_

The students gasp in shock.

Claire: You have got to be kidding me; they're actually going for this.

Mr. Perkins: That was amazing, Sunny!

Sunny: I know! And here, Mr. Perkins. A nice, chocolatey beverage.

Mr. Perkins: Mmmm! Delicious. Wow, Sunny what an amazing science project. _I'm so impressed I don't even want to see what the other students have done_. A-Plus!

The students cheer her on as Claire buries her face in her backpack.

Claire: I should've done home school….well, maybe not….

-Theory-

Sandra: Okay, children. Welcome to home school!

Claire: Yay….

Sandra: Now, Ms. Bennet. Your assignment is to write a _500,000 word essay on how Mr. Muggles is the best dog ever!_

Claire: AHHH!

-Fin-

Claire: Yeah, I'm better off here…

Back at his office, Mr. Fox is staring out the window. One of his associates walks in.

Man: Mr. Fox…..we have failed to get the woman.

Mr. Fox: Is she dead?

Man: No….some people ran off with her.

Mr. Fox: Some people……were they after the same thing we are?

Man: I don't know.

Mr. Fox: Well….keep looking. I'll check and see how my other agent is doing.

Mr. Fox gets on the phone.

Mr. Fox (talking): What is your status?

Suited Man (on the phone): We tracked him down to here…..we'll get him.

Mr. Fox: Good….I should hope so…..his power would be most intriguing.

Mr. Fox looks over at a sheet of information which has a picture of _Mieoko Nahara_ on it, under it reading: Ability to read minds/mind control….

Mr. Fox: When do the games start?

Suited Man: Soon.

Mr. Fox: Don't fail…..

They both hang up their phones as Mr. Fox continues to stare out the window.

_To Be Continued_……

Next Week: Heroes Continues….

_-Hiro gets ready for the competition_.-

Hiro: He is going down. I have to win this!

Hiro and Mieoko are racing side by side. Hiro stops to dance around, clucking like a chicken.

Hiro: _BAWK!_

Ando: What the?!

-_Claire has more school issues-_

Claire: I can't believe this….he'll die if I don't do something….

-_And family issues flare up-_

Nathan: Yeah, there's a tiny problem.

Peter: What?

Nathan: Mom is suing me! ME! Can you believe that…?

Peter: Nate….._man, you are screwed!_

Nathan: Why did I call you again?

Heroes continues with an all new chapter, next week.


	10. Prevention

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 10: Prevention 

Author's Note: Sorry for the week delay again, I had no time to write last week. Grr! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental. No copies of _Super Babies: Baby Geniuses 2 _were harmed in the filming of this episode…..ugh…..that's just…..ew…..

Elle: _Previously on 'Third Rock From The Sun'!_

Direction: CUT! Lady, for the last time…that's not the name of the show!

Elle: Well sorry, that's what the spinning world thing reminds me of…

Direction: Geez!...Okay, let's try it again….._TAKE 47!_

Elle: _Previously on Heroes_….

A man walks into his bosses' office, approaching his desk.

Man: I have the information that you wanted, Mr. Fox.

Man: We have their locations.

Mr. Fox: Good……Find them and bring them to me….we have much work to do.

Sarah is outside of her office window. She loses her footing and slips, while falling to the ground. The scene stops and turns into a portrait….being drawn by Peter Petrelli, sitting in the middle of the living room of Mohinder's apartment.

Peter: The thing is….I have no idea who she is…..or where she could be.

Peter (at Molly's dance class): Molly, can you tell us where this woman is?

Molly looks at the portrait……

Molly: She…..is on an airplane.

Mr. Perkins (Claire's school): Today the class will team up into groups of two for this week's Science Project. Sunny, you can choose first.

Sunny: I choose Claire! Cuz we're super best friends!

Claire (screaming in her head): _DAMMIT!_

Hiro (reading the paper): -Gasp!- Ando! Look what I found!?

Ando: Not another Chinese Prophet I hope…..

Hiro: No….it's the annual 'Fire Dragon Festival'!

Ando: WOW! I have no idea what that is!

Hiro: Every year, people from around Japan compete in this prestigious event. And the winner gets the most valuable prize ever known to man….

Ando: A cruddy trophy soaked in gold spray paint?

Hiro: No, even better than that! You win…..Honor……Acceptance……Admiration………_and a cookie_.

Ando: Cool!

A man knocks on the door.

Elle: GASP!

Noah: You don't actually say the word 'Gasp!'…you…..oh forget it…..

Edward: Hi…..I was looking for a Mohinder Suresh.

Noah: Go on my child…..I'm listening.

Edward: Well…..I think I may have a…..what you would like to call….an 'Extraordinary' ability.

Noah: Go on.

Edward: Okay….watch……

Edward reaches over and grabs a knife, running it down his arm. The wound starts to automatically heal itself, which grabs Noah's attention off the spot.

Noah: That……

Edward: See!? It started happening about a few weeks ago.

Noah: Okay……let's take you somewhere else…..I'll make a phone call.

Sarah loses her footing and falls off the building.

Sarah: AHHHHH!

Peter: Oh crap….

Mohinder (running up): Peter! Do something!

Peter: Uh…..

He stops time as Sarah is about to hit the ground. Peter runs back to the ground floor and outside…positioning himself to catch her.

Hiro turns around to see….

Hiro: Ugh…..Mieoko….

Ando: Who is that?

Hiro: My Arch-Nemesis!

Ando: You actually have an _arch-nemesis_? I didn't think anybody actually had those….

Mieoko: I can't believe _YOU _are actually going to compete…you hilarious!

Hiro: Shows what you know! I've been training night and day _running up and down stairs with buckets of water!_

Mieoko: Ooooh, impressive! (laughs) Well, all that won't matter when _I win the statue_…..

Ando: What about the cookie?

Mieoko: _Especially the cookie!_

Ando: -Gulp!-

Mr. Fox (talking): What is your status?

Suited Man (on the phone): We tracked him down to here…..we'll get him.

Mr. Fox: Good….I should hope so…..his power would be most intriguing.

Mr. Fox looks over at a sheet of information which has a picture of _Mieoko Nahara_ on it, under it reading: Ability to read minds/mind control….

Mr. Fox: When do the games start?

Suited Man: Soon.

Mr. Fox: Don't fail…..

They both hang up their phones as Mr. Fox continues to stare out the window.

_Claire Bennet  
Claire Bennet's High School  
Claire Bennet's English Class_

Claire is sprawled on her desk, extremely tired from not getting much sleep last night.

-FLASHBACK-

Claire (her face buried in her pillow): UGH! What the hell is all that racket!?

Claire hops out of bed, going downstairs to find Mr. Muggles howling in the living room.

Claire: What the hell is going on here?!

Sandra: Isn't it great Claire!? Mr. Muggles is going to be on _American Idol!_ I knew he was a great singer.

Randy Jackson: Yo, he sure is the best!

Simon Cowell: Yes, I think he's great and I hate everything.

Paula Abdul: HE'S THE GREATEST SINGER IN THE WORLD! YAY!

Mr. Muggles: -HOWL!-

Claire wakes up, nearly falling out of her desk.

Claire: -Shudder-….man, what a nightmare that was.

Mr. Graham: Flintstone!

Claire: Huh?

Mr. Graham: Claire Flintstone, do you have your report or not? Stop daydreaming about your family's mental issues and get your report ready.

Claire: Oh yeah….sure…..

Claire opens her backpack and digs around; she pulls out her report that's in shreds.

Claire: What the!?

She pulls out a sticky note which reads:

"_Sorry for eating your homework, I skipped breakfast."  
Signed - The Haitian_.

Claire: Dammit, I told him to stop doing that!

Mr. Graham: WELL!?

Claire: Okay…..I'm going.

Claire grabs the next best thing, The Cafeteria Menu, and walks to the front of the class.

Claire: Okay, this is my report on…..The Civil War…….It was the best of times…..It was the worst of times…….

Mr. Graham: …..

Claire: ……_Did I mention the cafeteria is serving Salisbury Steak today_?

Mr. Graham: Claire, just stop.

Claire: It could use some work.

Mr. Graham: That's a cafeteria menu….

Claire: Okay, it is….but I do remember my report on the Civil War, really!

Mr. Graham: _Your report was supposed to be on Romeo and Juliet_.

Claire: Ah…..well……I'm….heh, just going to go sit down now.

Mr. Graham: Please.

Claire goes back to her seat. Later when class gets out the students are leaving.

Steve: Man, I can't believe that stupid Mr. Graham gave me an F on my report, man I just had about enough of his crap.

Student: What are you going to do?

Steve: Don't worry…._he'll get what's coming to him_…soon enough!

They walk on.

Claire: Ooookay, that was odd, but oh well.

Sunny: Hi Claire.

Claire: Oh….it's you.

Sunny: I'm sorry we got in our little tiff last week about my amazing science project.

Claire bites down on her fist.

Claire: Oh….that's okay, I was….just…..jealous.

Sunny: I know, it was really ingenious of me.

Claire glares at her.

Sunny: I was hoping we could be friends again!

Claire (thought): Well, it's not like we were really friends in the first place, but what the hell….

Claire: Sure.

Sunny: YAY!

She skips away, as Claire shakes her head.

_Mohinder Suresh  
Mohinder's Apartment  
Landlord: Extremely Suspicious_

Back in the apartment, Mohinder is talking to Sarah McGregor.

Mohinder: So Sarah, do you know anything about the man was chasing you?

Sarah: Well…..the thing is….he might be after me because of something….I can do.

Mohinder: Go on…..

Sarah: Something…..

Mohinder: ….Go on….

Sarah: Something 'Extraordinary'….

Mohinder: -Gasp!-

He runs over to Matt, Niki and Peter who are sitting on the couch.

Mohinder: Did you guys hear that?….She has an Extraordinary ability.

Niki: We heard her, we've been right here this entire time.

Matt: Well, I wasn't paying attention; I'm too engrossed in this week's episode of _Reading Rainbow!_

Niki: Why am I still here?

She looks at Peter.

Niki: Why are _YOU _still here?

Mohinder: So….what is it that you can do?

Sarah: I….I don't know….if I can tell you….

Mohinder: Don't be ashamed! Those _three over there on the couch have special abilities too!_

Matt: HEY! He just violated _The Hero Confidentiality Agreement!_ He can't go around telling people what we can do!

Niki: I'm going to start hurting people right now if you all don't be quiet!

Matt: Yeah, we're trying to watch TV here!

Niki: And change it back to '_Friday Night Lights'!_

Matt: But they're about to talk about a book where this maid goes to work for this millionaire and she finds his head in the freezer!

Niki: Change it back, or die!

Matt: Quiet, you! They're discussing the new _Nancy Drew_ book!

Niki tackles Matt to the floor.

Matt: Ahh, don't hit me, I bruise easily!

Peter, who hasn't said a word….gets up and walks off.

Matt: Where's he going?

Sarah: I….can move objects with my mind.

Mohinder: Oh….well I was hoping for something different. But it's still extraordinary!

Peter is painting away on his easel, he finishes his work as it depicts a man who has fallen to his death in front of a clock tower, the painting changes to present day as people are walking about. Claire, who has just left her school, looks up at the top of the tower, thinking about something, then walks away to head back home.

---Initiate Earth Rotation Sequence……..Heroes!---

_Hiro and Ando  
Hiro's Subplot  
The Seventh 9__th__ Annual Fire Dragon Festival_…._wait, what?_

Ando is holding a clipboard trying to look important while Hiro is on the ground stretching.

Hiro: This is it, Ando. My chance to prove my honor…

Ando: Uh….

Hiro: I must stretch and get myself ready, also if I'm going to beat my arch nemesis.

Ando: I don't know about these events….

Hiro: What are you talking about?

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Fire Dragon Festival!

Audience cheers, they hold up a banner which reads…

_CHAPTER 10: PREVENTION_

Man (holding the banner): What!? Why the hell does it say that!? The guys at the banner shop screwed it up again! BAH!

Announcer: Competitors, get ready for the 1st round!

Hiro: Well, I'm off….

Ando: Hiro, just so you should know….

Hiro: I'll be back!

He runs off.

Ando: Hmm….

Hiro walks up to a table standing next to Mieko.

Hiro: Grr!

Announcer: Okay, ladies! Bring out the bowls.

Hiro: Bowls?!

A group of helpers bring out some bowls and place them in front of the contestants.

Hiro: What's this!?

Mieoko: They're eggs, genius.

Hiro: What….do we do with these?

Mieoko: Uh…duh, you eat them. It's the first event. Did you not read the important clipboard?

Hiro: The one Ando was holding?!

Hiro shoots a look at Ando who shrugs.

Hiro (thinking to himself): Man, all that running up and down stairs for _this_!?

_Claire Bennet: $150  
Mohinder's Apartment: $400 a month  
The satisfaction that this plot will hopefully go somewhere: Priceless  
There are some things money can't buy_….._for everything else, there's MasterCard!_

Claire knocks on the door, which is answered by Peter.

Peter: Claire, hey!

Claire: Hey, Peter. I came down for the weekend to stay….for the weekend.

Peter: Completely unannounced too! Just like I would….

Claire: Yeah…….

Peter: Well, it was great seeing you.

He closes the door.

Peter: Oh wait….I _wasn't_ supposed to do that…..

Sarah, who is still in the apartment, answers her phone.

Sarah (on the phone): Yeah…..WHAT?!...Oh, crap…..yeah, I know….allright…..I'll be there shortly.

Voice (on the other line): _Hey, I didn't get to say anything yet!_

-_CLICK!-_

Sarah: I have to go, it's urgent. I have a client to tend to.

Mohinder: Oh, that's too bad. When will you be back?

Sarah: Well….I was hoping….never.

Mohinder: Wha?

Sarah: I want to lead a normal life. I don't want these silly powers.

Mohinder: WHAT!? They are most certainly not _silly_. They are….

Matt/Niki/Peter (deadpan): _Extraordinary_.

Mohinder: Thank you.

Claire (Outside): _Is someone going to let me in?_

Sarah: I know they are….but I don't want to be extraordinary. I want you to…..get rid of them. Don't you have something that can….I don't know….erase it from me or something.

Mohinder: What, like someone that knows how to _erase memories_, I'm not sure….

The phone rings…..

Mohinder: It's Bennet! Better answer it….

Mohinder: Hello?

Noah (in the car with Edward, Elle, and Haitian): Mohinder, its Bennet. We're on our way over there….

Mohinder: I don't know….the place is kind of a mess….

Noah: We have something interesting to show you…..

Mohinder: Well, okay then.

Noah: And I heard Claire was staying over there too, did she make it okay?

Mohinder: Yes, she's _still standing outside the door as we speak_.

Noah: Uh…..ok…..that's good…..I guess…….

Mohinder: See you when you get here.

Niki (to Peter): _Yeah, when where you going to let her in?_

Peter: ….Who?

Niki: _Claire!_

Peter: Oh, right…..

A little bit later, Claire and Peter enter one of the spare bedrooms.

Peter: And this is the spare bedroom, amazing that I know that and _I don't even live here_.

Claire: Thanks, Peter…..Hey, what's that?

She walks over to the painting Peter drew earlier.

Peter: Oh, you know…..I get in my 'Artwork' phase and who knows what I'll draw…..

Claire (staring closer at the picture): That……_That's my teacher!_

Peter: What?!

Claire: This means he's going to die!

Peter: Oh….._but overall how did I do on the picture?_

Claire: Very well, I like the shadow that is looming from the base of the Clock Tower. And the water effect you have in the fountain is amazing, truly realistic. Could use a little more purple though…

Peter: I agree….

Claire: Yeah….

Peter: ….More purple….

Claire: ….Yeah…..But _he's going to die!_

Peter: _WHAT!?_

Claire: I…..I have to do something…..

_Hiro and Ando  
Fire Dragon Festival  
Rawr!_

Ando walks over to an over stuffed Hiro sprawled out on the floor.

Ando: You okay?

Hiro: Oh…..it's too many…..I can't eat another egg!...Did I win?

Ando: No, _you only ate 1 egg!_

Hiro: That's…..bad?

Ando: Yes, it's very bad.

Hiro: What can I do?

Ando: Well, you can redeem yourself in the second competition, _The Obstacle Course!_

Hiro: Oh no! I hate obstacle courses; _they're always filled with things that obstruct my path_!

Ando: That's…..kind of the point.

Hiro: -_Groan-_

Back at Mohinder's Noah and Company knock on the door, answered by Peter.

Peter: Hello!

Noah: Hi, Peter we need to speak with Mohinder.

Peter: Sure….would you like to come in?

Elle: I know I would!

The walk in as Elle runs her fingers through Peter's hair.

Peter: Great, make yourselves at home. I got some tea brewing, should be ready shortly.

Noah: ..Uh….Do….you live here?

Peter: Nope!

Noah: Ah, just checking.

Mohinder (exiting his room): Bennet, you wanted to see me.

Noah: Yes, this is Edward….he….also has an ability.

Matt (_STILL on the couch)_: I have a hunch….I think _everybody in the world has an ability_. They just haven't realized it yet.

Niki (changing channels): …..Shut up.

Matt: It was just a thought!

Noah (to Edward): Go ahead; show the good doctor what you can do.

Edward cuts himself, and the wound heals automatically.

Mohinder: Fascinating!

Matt: Wasn't he just _unimpressed with Sarah's telekinesis, but he is now wow-ed by this guy who has the same power as Claire?_

Niki: That's it! I'm going back to my room!

Matt: _But I have no one to watch TV with!_

Noah: I wanted to bring this to your attention since he has the same powers as Claire.

Mohinder: And…..how long have you had these powers, Edward?

Edward: Oh….a few weeks….about a month…maybe two.

Sarah: Actually….if I may interrupt…..that was when I started noticing I had my power too.

Mohinder: Hmm…..that's…..strange.

Elle: _This looks like a mystery only 'The Elle Squad' can solve!_

Noah: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Mohinder: I'll have to look into this more…..

Peter: Hey, did you have some strange guy looking for you?

Edward: Uh….

Sarah: Yeah, there was this creepy guy in a suit who was bothering me.

Edward: Well, I sometimes thought I was being followed, but…..who knows?

Claire exits the bedroom.

Claire: Oh, hi dad.

Noah: Claire, are you allright?

Claire: Just fine….but I have to head back.

Noah: What?

Claire: It's important….

Noah: Well, it's starting to get late, you better stay here.

Claire: Oh, don't worry….._Peter will take me there real quick_.

Peter: I will?

Claire: Yeah….you can teleport, right?

Peter: Well….sort of, I'm still a little rusty.

Claire: Great!

Noah: Okay, then….just be careful.

Claire: I will.

Sarah: But anyway, Dr. Suresh, do you know anything that can get rid of my power? I really have to get going.

Mohinder: Oh right….um….Bennet?

Noah: Hmm?

Mohinder: As much as I'm against it….Ms. McGregor doesn't want her power….do you think your partner can help?

Elle: I sure can!

Noah: _He's not talking about you!_

Elle: Well, fine then! (Sticks her tongue out)

Noah: You want my Haitian friend to wipe her memory.

Mohinder: Well, no…..just….any knowledge of her power.

Noah: I….guess he could do that.

Haitian: But just be cautious that there is a itty bitty chance you could remember it again.

Sarah: I'll take my chances.

Haitian: Works for me!

Sarah: Great, thanks. I have to keep busy, can't keep _Mrs. Petrelli _waiting.

Peter: Huh?!

Sarah: Oh….I shouldn't be talking about the cases; I should keep my mouth shut.

Peter: That's my mother! Who is she suing?

Sarah: I can't disclose that information, but I'm sure you know him.

Peter's cell phone rings.

Peter: It's Nathan….he only calls at this time if there is something wrong.

Sarah: Answer your phone.

Peter (answering): Hello Brother!

Nathan: Peter! You will not believe this! _I'm getting sued by mom!_ I can't believe she would stoop to this…..

Peter: Oh, that sucks. What for?

Nathan: For damages from when _everyone was hiding here from Sylar_ a few weeks back. These papers say that I'm responsible for 5.3 Billion Dollars in damages!

Peter: _I told her not to buy that castle!_ It's just throwing money down the drain.

Nathan: Pete, you're kinda missin the big picture here.

Peter: Don't worry, Brother. I will save the day, like always….When have I ever forgotten anybody.

Claire clears her throat.

Peter: Oh, that's right. How rude of me!

Peter hands Claire a cup of tea.

Nathan: Well, I need you to come testify as a witness.

Peter: Better yet, _I'll be your attorney!_

Nathan: No…._you do NOT want to do that._ You want to be a 'witness'.

Peter: Nope, attorney. Don't fret; I've been studying for many hours a day.

Nathan (slapping his forehead): _Why did I get you those stupid 'Phoenix Wright Games'_ _for your Nintendo DS?!_

Peter: For a special family emergency such as this.

Nathan: So….you're pretty much saying that I'm screwed.

Peter: Yup! So let me finish helping Claire out with her sub plot….

Claire rolls her eyes.

Peter: And I'll be there quicker than you can say '_Guilty As Charged'!_

Nathan: Wonderful.

Peter: Later, bro.

Peter hangs up.

Peter: That was Nathan.

Claire: I know.

Peter: Okay, let's go. I'm still bad at the teleporting thing so….don't be surprised if we end up in a sewer or something.

Claire: Wonderful.

Peter concentrates really hard as the two of them vanish.

Haitian (finishing up with Sarah): Done!

Sarah: AHH! What am I doing here!? Who are you people?

Haitian: Uh oh.

Sarah: Oh, this is bad. I have to get back to the office and get ready for my case; Mrs. Petrelli doesn't like to wait!

Haitian: Oh, okay good enough.

Sarah grabs her coat and walks out.

Mohinder: I can't believe I just let that happen. Another person won't be able to embrace their gift….what a shame.

Meanwhile, back at the FDF.

Announcer: Here we are! The final test in the Festival Of The Fire Dragon! This will determine the winner!

Hiro: _WHAT!? Already?!_...

Ando: After 2 rounds?

Announcer: Everybody line up at the starting line.

Ando: Okay, Hiro. This is it.

Hiro: Yes, I will win the competition.

Hiro stands next to Mieoko.

Hiro: Hi.

Mieoko: What do you want?

Hiro: You…are going down.

Mieoko: That's nice.

Hiro: I've been running up and down stairs, so I'm going to leave you in a trail of dust!

Mieoko (thinking to himself): _Man, I wish Hiro would just lose so I wouldn't have to deal with him. Come on, Hiro. Drop the race! _

Announcer: On your mark!

Hiro: _I QUIT!_

Announcer: WHAT!?

Ando!

Mieoko: ….

Hiro: _I have decided not to play anymore!_

Mieoko (thinking): No way! Is that thing happening to me again?...Only one way to tell……

Mieoko thinks of a new way to control Hiro's mind.

Hiro (flapping his arms): _BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!_

Ando buries his face in his hands.

Announcer: I'm……lost…..

Ando (running up to Hiro): Hiro! What the hell is wrong with you!

Hiro: _BAWK!_

Announcer: Okay, well Hiro Nakamura forfeits the race meaning Mieoko Nahara wins by default!

Mieoko: Excellent.

Ando: This is bad…..

_Claire and Peter  
Claire's School  
Wedgies Pulled by bullies: 1,878_….._AH! Get away from me! NOOOO!_...-_Groan_-……_1,879_….._man, that does not feel good._

Peter: Here we are.

Claire: Yes.

Peter: Um….how do you know if this 'Murder' is going to happen tonight?

Claire: I noticed something in the painting, look!

She spots a pom-pom.

Peter: Oh man, _we have to save another Cheerleader again?!_

Claire: No, tonight is the Cheerleader tryouts.

Peter: Oh….well _it's a good thing I brought you here or you would have been very late_.

Claire: Yes.

Peter: So now what?

Claire: I have to find out who is going to kill my teacher.

Peter: Which one? You have like….6 of them, right?

Claire: It's my English teacher, Mr. Graham…..-Gasp!-…..I think my classmate is going to do it!

Peter: _Try out for cheerleading?_...

Claire: NO! My classmate Steve. He said he was going to get his revenge….I just don't know when!

Peter: Well, I have to go get ready for court, gotta prepare my opening statement and all.

Claire: Okay, I'll be fine here. Just don't tell my dad you left me, or he'll freak.

Peter: Not to worry, if you get in _any trouble_ whatsoever, just take this.

Peter hands her one of those cheap _bubble wands_.

Claire: What the hell is this?

Peter: You dunk the bubble wand into the jar and you blow bubbles, then I'll be there. Cause _that's what Heroes do_….

Claire: Um…..no…..they don't.

Peter: What?

Claire: No sane person is going to _blow bubbles in the midst of running for their lives!_

Peter: Oh come on, when you want The Haitian's help _you hang a wind chime up_. What good is that?!

Claire: You make a valid point, but I'm not blowing bubbles. I hate these things anyway, they always pop back in my face and it burns my eyes.

Peter: _Only because you're not doing it correctly._

Claire: Just come back to get me in a couple of hours.

Peter: Will do!

Peter vanishes as Claire continues her investigation.

Back in Japan, Hiro and Ando are sitting outside as people leave the festival.

Hiro: I did what?!

Ando: You clucked like a chicken.

Hiro: And I….lost?

Ando: Yup.

Hiro: How strange, I didn't know what is wrong with me.

Mieoko comes up, bearing the trophy.

Hiro: Ugh…..Mieoko.

Mieoko: Hiro, too bad you lost in all. (Looking like he's thinking about something.

Hiro: Yeah, but it's probably because you cheated! You big fat…_congratulations on winning_…you are so much better than me at everything! You deserve the trophy.

Ando!

Mieoko: Why, thank you Hiro.

He walks off.

Hiro: _What just happened?_

Ando: Hmm…way too fishy….

Night falls back at the school and Claire is walking around. She spots Steve sitting by the fountain.

Claire: There he is…….I have to save Mr. Graham! But how……what would Peter do?

-Thinking-

Peter shows up sporting a flashy red cape.

Peter: _STOP VILLAIN!_

Peter doesn't get too far when he notices the fountain.

Peter: Ooooh….

Peter picks up a few stones and tries to skip them across the water.

Steve: Uh….hello?! I'm getting away!

Peter: _Just a second!_

…skip……skip…….

Peter: Damn! Almost had it.

-Done-

Claire: Okay, _that won't work_. Well, what would I do?

-Thought-

Claire (hopping up and down in a panic): _AAAH! Someone's going to die and I don't know what to do?! _Hey….what would Peter do?

Peter shows up in the cape.

Peter: _STOP VILLAIN!_

-Nah…-

Claire: Okay, I'm getting nowhere with this. I'll try to use my wonderful intellectual skills.

Claire walks up to Steve.

Steve: Oh, hey Flintstone.

Claire: What?...(_Oh right, my 'Fake Name'. I gotta get that changed before I screw up and blow my cover one of these days)._

Claire: So….what's going on?

Steve: Uh….nothing. Waiting for Janet to finish, we got a hot date planned for tonight.

Claire: (_GASP! An accomplice!?)_……Finish…..what?

Steve: The cheerleader tryouts….._you convinced her to sign up._

Claire: Oh, heh…..that's right. But…..what are _YOU _doing here?

Steve: I……just told you…..I'm waiting for Janet to finish.

Claire: Uh huh…..and nothing else.

Steve: Nope.

Claire spots in the corner of her eye, Mr. Graham entering the tower.

Claire: Gah!

Steve: Hey, what's old man Graham up to?

Claire: Oh, wouldn't _YOU _like to know.

Steve: I….would….that's why I just asked.

Claire: Well…..nothing….nothing at all.

Claire: (_I wonder if he's going to push him off the top of the Clock Tower, so he'll go splat!_ _Wait_, if that's true then why would Mr. Graham go up there first…I have to stop him and save his life, _it's what Niki would do_….

A thought of Niki trying to save the day, she has Mr. Graham in a headlock and has a hold of one of his hands, making him punch his own face.

Niki: _Stop hitting yourself!_..._Stop hitting yourself_…..Man, I could do this all day.

Claire: Okay, enough of that…..

Claire runs toward the clock tower and enters it; she makes her way up to the top, where she notices Mr. Graham.

Claire: Mr. Graham, you have to leave! Your life is in…..

Mr. Graham turns around, _with a sniper rifle in hand_.

Claire: ….._danger?_

Mr. Graham: Flintstone!? What are you doing here?

Claire: I wish people would stop calling me that, it kinda takes the edge off the whole _dramatic effect_.

Mr. Graham: This has nothing to do with you.

Claire: But…..wait……why do you have a gun…..you are supposed…..wait….._you're going to shoot someone from the top of the clock tower!_

Mr. Graham: Good deduction there, Sherlock.

Claire: But who….the only person out there is Steve….wait! You're going to kill him, what did he ever do to you?..._He was supposed to kill you tonight_…..oh, wait…..

Mr. Graham: I'm tired of that snot nosed punk making my life a living hell.

Claire: At least it's a 'Living' one….I thought he was going to kill you….man, I suck at detective work.

Mr. Graham: With the school year almost over, I'm sure nobody will notice.

Claire: Uh….yeah…..they kinda will.

Mr. Graham: The problem is……is that _you know too much_.

Claire: What are you going…..to do…?

Mr. Graham pulls out a pistol.

Mr. Graham: I can't have you running off and telling the police….

Claire: Uh….I wouldn't….honest…..Just my closest friends and relatives…….

Mr. Graham: Sorry about this, Claire.

Claire: Eeep!

He fires several shots, and Claire falls to the ground.

Claire: Ugh…..

The bullets pop out of her chest one by one.

Mr. Graham: What the hell?!

Claire (getting up): Mr. Graham, I can explain.

Mr. Graham: _EXPLAIN WHAT!?_ You…..you're a freak!

Claire: Aha! But again…a 'Living Freak'…..hmm, that doesn't sound any better. But listen…..

Mr. Graham: No! Stay back! Get the hell away from me!

Mr. Graham takes a few steps back and accidentally falls over the railing.

Claire: ACK!

……..-_SMACK!-_

Claire rushes to the side and sees _Mr. Graham on the ground in a pool of blood, right in front of the entrance to the Clock Tower_. Steve, who is sitting at the fountain, looks up at her.

Claire: I can't believe this……well, at least all is well.

Steve (yelling): _HEY! Guess what! The new girl killed Mr. Graham! Awesome!_

Claire: Or….not.

Back in Japan, Mieoko is happily carrying his trophy home; he spots a _man in a suit_.

Man: Mieoko Nahara.

Mieoko: Yeah?

Man: You're going to have to come with me…._we know what you can do_….

Mieoko: I…I….I don't know what you're talking about.

Man: We have you on file, and your actions today at the tournament proves everything….

Mieoko: How….how did you know?

Man: Come with me…

Mieoko: NO!

He throws the trophy and the man, who starts chasing him.

Mieoko: AHHHH!

Hiro and Ando are walking down the street when they turn around to see Mieoko being chased by the man.

Hiro: Huh…..what's going on there?

Ando: Heh, they probably found out he cheated and are trying to get the trophy back.

Hiro: Ha, ha….yeah, you're probably right.

They turn a corner and find the trophy lying on the ground.

Hiro: That's strange…..he dropped it.

Down the street, they hear horns blaring the piercing sound of cars slamming on their brakes…followed by a loud _slamming noise_.

Hiro: What was that?

Hiro and Ando rush over to see what all the commotion was. They find several cars in a piled up wreck, and _Mieoko, sprawled out in the middle of the street_.

The suited man sighs, and gets on his phone.

Man: Mr. Fox….….I lost him……I'm sorry sir…..he panicked and ran off into the street…..Okay…..I'll head back.

Hiro and Ando look at each other, confused.

Back at Mohinder's apartment.

Peter: Allright, I'm dressed and ready for some courtroom action.

Niki: Uh….isn't that suit a _wee bit tight on you?_

Peter: Nope, it's a perfect fit…..oooh, a penny.

He bends over to pick it up…_RIIIIP!_

Niki: Ugh….

Peter: Okay, I'm off to the courthouse, I brushed up on some _Law and Order this morning_. So I know how it's all done….

(_DUM! DUM!)_

_The Courthouse  
New York City  
2:00pm_

Peter walks in; people can't help but stare _at the hole still in his pants_. He picks up his ringing phone.

Claire (on the phone): Peter.

Peter: Hey Claire. Did you solve you problem over there?

Claire: Yeah….but I need your help.

Peter: Oh right, I need to pick you up.

Claire: No….I'm kinda in a bind….._They arrested me for the murder of Mr. Graham_.

Peter: ….._Who the hell is Mr. Graham_?

Claire: My teacher….

Peter: _You murdered your teacher!_ Claire….._Mr. Muggles would be disappointed in you_.

Claire: _I didn't murder him; I was trying to stop him from GETTING murdered!_ That's why I came down here.

Peter: So…..wait, I'm confused.

Claire: It turns out HE was going to murder someone but I stopped him and he fell off the tower just like the portrait depicted. Now they think I did it…..

Peter: I see…..I know what I must do.

Claire: Oh thank you, Peter. If you bail me out you'll be my favorite Uncle….well...my only Uncle…..well who knows, another surprising turn of events could be right around the corner.

Peter: Oh no….I don't bail people out….._I represent them_….._In the courtroom_.

Claire: Oh no……

Peter: So I'll take your case!...Besides, when have I ever forgotten anybody.

Nathan, who is standing in front of him, clears his throat.

Peter: Um….gotta go, tell them you have a lawyer.

Claire: Wait!

Peter hangs up.

Peter: Let's do this.

Nathan: I'm so screwed…..

The two of them walk into the courtroom.

_To Be Continued_……

_Next Time, On Heroes_…..

-It's the Trail of the Century….well, not really.-

Peter: _I OBJECT!_

Judge: What for now….Mr. Petrelli.

Peter: I'm hungry; do we get a lunch break?

Judge: -Groan-…..

Matt: What the hell do you think you're doing!?

Jessica: I'm tired of being cooped up in that mirror…._I'm going to have me some fun_.

Mohinder (later, talking to Matt): _She's doing what?!_

Matt: She's going to rob a casino! We have to stop her…..

Mohinder: You just had to get her that _Ocean's Eleven_ dvd set, didn't you?

Matt: Well…..

Mr. Fox: They are hiding the man who can heal himself, my agents have failed….you are all I got.

Voice: I got it under control…..

A mysterious man kicks down the door to a hotel room; Elle and Haitian turn around to see what's going on.

Man: Sorry to barge in…..but I have some business to take care of……

_Heroes continues, next week_…..


	11. Trials And Tribulations

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 11: Trials And Tribulations

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Mohinder: _Previously on Heroes_…..

Claire's class gets out; the students are leaving.

Steve (a student): Man, I can't believe that stupid Mr. Graham gave me an F on my report, man I just had about enough of his crap.

Student: What are you going to do?

Steve: Don't worry…._he'll get what's coming to him_…soon enough!

Noah (in the car with Edward, Elle, and Haitian, on the phone with Bennet): Mohinder, its Bennet. We're on our way over there….

Claire (staring closer at the picture Peter painted): That……_That's my teacher!_

Peter: What?!

Claire: This means he's going to die!

Peter: Oh….._but overall how did I do on the picture?_

Peter (answering): Hello Brother!

Nathan: Peter! You will not believe this! _I'm getting sued by mom!_ I can't believe she would stoop to this…..

Peter: Oh, that sucks. What for?

Nathan: For damages from when _everyone was hiding here from Sylar_ a few weeks back. These papers say that I'm responsible for 5.3 Billion Dollars in damages!

Peter: _I told her not to buy that castle!_ It's just throwing money down the drain.

Claire: But who….the only person out there is Steve….wait! You're going to kill him, what did he ever do to you?..._He was supposed to kill you tonight_…..oh, wait…..

Mr. Graham: I'm tired of that snot nosed punk making my life a living hell.

Claire: At least it's a 'Living' one….I thought he was going to kill you….man, I suck at detective work.

Claire rushes to the side and sees _Mr. Graham on the ground in a pool of blood, right in front of the entrance to the Clock Tower_. Steve, who is sitting at the fountain, looks up at her.

Claire: I can't believe this……well, at least all is well.

Steve (yelling): _HEY! Guess what! The new girl killed Mr. Graham! Awesome!_

Claire: Or….not.

Down the street, they hear horns blaring the piercing sound of cars slamming on their brakes…followed by a loud _slamming noise_.

Hiro: What was that?

Hiro and Ando rush over to see what all the commotion was. They find several cars in a piled up wreck, and _Mieoko, sprawled out in the middle of the street_.

The suited man sighs, and gets on his phone.

Man: Mr. Fox….….I lost him……I'm sorry sir…..he panicked and ran off into the street…..Okay…..I'll head back.

Hiro and Ando look at each other, confused.

Claire: Yeah….but I need your help.

Peter: Oh right, I need to pick you up.

Claire: No….I'm kinda in a bind….._They arrested me for the murder of Mr. Graham_.

Peter: I see…..I know what I must do.

Claire: Oh thank you, Peter. If you bail me out you'll be my favorite Uncle….well...my only Uncle…..well who knows, another surprising turn of events could be right around the corner.

Peter: Oh no….I don't bail people out….._I represent them_….._In the courtroom_.

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
The Civilian's Court  
Join The Court Club: Get sued 9 times, get your 10__th__ judgment for FREE!_

Nathan: This is bad, why am I letting you do this?

Peter: Because we're family, and we stick together.

Nathan: Are you referring to the _same family that has taken me to court in the first place_.

Peter: That's just mom, she's always been tough on us….even when we were little.

-FLASHBACK-

Angela Petrelli enters Peter and Nathan's bedroom.

Angela: Good morning children! Better get up and get started on your day with a nice big breakfast! Than it's off to school! So get out of bed and enjoy the Earth's many rays of sunshine!

She starts to leave then turns back.

Angela: Oh, by the way…_There's no such thing as Santa Clause_…

-_SLAM-_

-END-

Peter: My childhood…..scarred forever.

Nathan: You do realize that only happened _3 weeks ago_.

Peter: Uh….

Judge: Lawyers, come forth!

Peter walks up to the judge's bench, followed by Sarah McGregor.

Peter: -GASP!- It's you…..

Sarah (to the Judge): Yes….I'm representing Angela Petrelli.

Judge: Wait…..Hold on…...(To Sarah) Your Client is Angela Petrelli…

Sarah: Uh…yeah…

Judge: And…..she's suing her son….with her other son representing his defense?...I'm sensing some major 'Conflict Of Interest' here…..

Sarah: Oh….I'd thought you would already know this…

Judge: Um…whatever. Let's just get it over with….

_Niki and Matt  
Mohinder's Apartment  
And Mohinder's toothbrush which Niki accidentally knocked into the toilet. Oh well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him_….

Niki is getting ready in the bathroom, she takes a look at herself in the mirror, which is always a bad idea…Jessica is looking back at her.

Jessica: Good Morning!

Niki (suspicious): '_Good Morning'_? You're awfully chipper today……what's up?

Jessica: Oh nothing….nothing….

Niki: You're lying.

Jessica: Well, duh!

Niki: I don't know what you have planned, but whatever it is I don't have time for it. I have to pick up Micah from the bus stop….since the bus won't drive anywhere near here….jerks.

Jessica: Oh, he'll be fine…..I took care of it.

Niki: You did what?!

Jessica: I had Mohinder pick him up….

Niki: When was this?!

Jessica: Earlier……

Niki: What are you plotting!?

Jessica: Oh nothing…..nothing

Niki: Would you stop that?

Jessica: I'm just planning on doing something _big_…

Niki: Huh?

Jessica: Well, lately I've been in a rut…

Niki: Oh _boo hoo_….tough!

Jessica: I need some excitement….something….thrilling and dangerous…

Niki: Uh….

Jessica: They just opened the new _Fiesta Del Monaco Casino_ downtown….

Niki: You're off to gamble? Oh, well…don't have too much fun.

Jessica: Oh no….I'm going to do _much more than that_.

Niki realizes she's now Jessica's reflection.

Niki: Oh crap…..(Banging on the mirror) What are you planning to do?!

Jessica: Me?...(She slips on some gloves)…._I'm going to have some fun_…..

She struts out of the bathroom.

Niki: What is she planning on doing?...I wish I had some sort of idea.

She hears Matt's voice in the background.

Matt: Hey Niki, I rented you _Ocean's Eleven_, did you end up watching it yet?

Niki: Oh no……

_Some mysterious building  
In a mysterious office  
Full of_…._mystery-ness_…?

In the dark gloomy shadows, _Mr. Fox_ is impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk. Someone opens the door.

Man: I got your message…

Mr. Fox: You are the only one I can trust….my men can't do the job…….

Man: Don't worry, I'm your man!

Mr. Fox: Good……I'm glad you agreed to help under the circumstances…..

Man: Not a prob…..

Mr. Fox: I'm looking at your records….._how long have you had your ability_?

Man: A couple of weeks, and man…I'm lovin it…it's so friggin cool!

Mr. Fox: Heh….good……(He hands him a paper slip)….this is where you need to go, where my associate last located him.

Man: Oh…._this is the dude who can heal himself_?

Mr. Fox: Something like that yes….that is where he was last seen….We believe that they are hiding him….

Man: You want me to get him and kill everyone else?

Mr. Fox: That would be nice…..

Man: You got it, Boss.

The man starts to leave…

Mr. Fox: Oh…and Dale…..

Dale (the man, turning around): Yeh?

Mr. Fox: Do be careful……you might not know what they have up their sleeves….

Dale chuckles to himself and walks out of the office.

Dale (to himself): Don't worry about me….

While walking down the hallway, his fingertips emit tiny bolts of electricity, singeing the surface of the wall as he passes by.

Dale: ….._I can take care of myself_……

---The worlds spinning right round baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round……Heroes!---

_Nathan and Peter  
The Courthouse_

Judge: Go ahead with your opening statement Ms. McGregor.

Sarah shuffles through her papers, one of them reading:

_CHAPTER 11: TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS_

Sarah: Yes….(To the Jury) You see, my client Angela Petrelli is a mother scorned, betrayed by her sons, and horribly facing the damages left from when the defendant, Nathan Petrelli, had all his friends over, and trashed her place…..such a tragedy….

The jurors talk amongst themselves.

Peter (sitting down with Nathan): Oooh, _she's good_.

Nathan: ….No she's not! She's obviously lying and trying to sway the jury with false allegations…

Peter: You're right!

Peter shoots up out of his chair.

Peter: _OBJECTION!_

Judge: What? Mr. Petrelli?

Peter (pointing): _That woman is trying to make me lose my case!_

Judge: That's kinda the point, Mr. Petrelli….

Peter: Well….it's not fair!

Judge: Sit down!

Peter: Hmph!

Peter plops back down in his chair as Nathan glares at him.

Peter: It didn't work.

Nathan: Well, duh!

Later, Nathan is at the stand, being questioned by Sarah.

Sarah: So Nathan….do you not deny that you stayed at my client's house the night of a few weeks ago?

Nathan: Well, yea…..but it….was an emergency…sort of…..and it wasn't my idea.

Sarah: Uh huh…..and do….you have proof that it wasn't.

Nathan: Wasn't what?

Sarah: That is wasn't your idea?

Nathan: I don't understand the question.

Judge: Answer the question, Mr. Petrelli.

Nathan: I don't understand!

Sarah (getting up in his face): It was your doing all along, wasn't it? You had your friends over and they trashed Mrs. Petrelli's priceless artifacts!

Nathan: They weren't my friends! It wasn't my idea!...and half the crap she owns she got at some garage sale….._it's a castle she bought on Ebay for crying out loud!_

Sarah: No more questions….

Peter: Finally!

Nathan (goes over to sit back down): You could chime in at any moment.

Peter: But it's not my turn…and I don't want _Judge Fudge_ to keep yelling at me….

Nathan: Stop calling her that!...

Peter: Sorry….I thought it was clever….

Nathan: We're losing badly…..you need to think of something.

Peter phone rings.

Peter: _TIME OUT!_

Judge: Mr. Petrelli, you can't….

Peter (on his phone): Helloooo?...Yes…….uh huh…….who?...oh……okay…..be right there….

Nathan!

Peter (hanging up): ….Just a little tiny problem….

Nathan: We're bombing this case and _NOW _there's a problem….

Peter: I'm due for another court hearing…

Nathan: Now…..right now?

Peter: Yeah….

Nathan: Who?

Peter: Well……Claire…..

Nathan: Claire…..as in?

Peter: You know….Claire……'_Claire Bear_'….._'Biological Daughter'_……'_Save the Cheerleader, Save the world'_……Ring any bells?

Nathan: Shut up! I know who she is!

Peter: What?

Nathan: Why is she in court?

Peter: I forgot….something about a murder…

Nathan: Well, you can't go to it….

Peter: Actually I can….it's right across the hall….They're shipping her from Pennsylvania…._lucky me, huh?_

Nathan: I can't believe I'm hearing this…

Peter: They're putting her on trial here, which will start in about an hour…so….I'll sneak out….

Nathan: _SNEAK OUT!?_ How are you going to do that…?

Peter: I guess we can't do the whole '_You pretend to be me'_ thing, huh?...

Nathan: …..

Peter: Yeah, didn't think so…..I'll think of something….But in the meantime…

Peter walks up to Angela Petrelli, who is at the stand.

Peter: So……_Mom_….

Judge: Mr. Petrelli, call the litigant by her _name_.

Peter: ….Angela….

Judge: Fine, just….go.

Peter: So….Angela….

Angela: Peter.

Peter (pointing): _WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF JULY 13__th_?…Don't lie; you're under oath….

Angela: In Tokyo….

Peter: Correct!...Next question…..'Who do you like more…._Me or Nathan_?'

Sarah: Objection! He's wasting our time….

Nathan: And besides, as if it's not obvious…_you're not the one being sued!_

Peter (To Sarah): Man, _you are so rude!_...That's the last time _I save your life_….

The judge buries her face in her hands….

_Mohinder's Apartment_

Outside of the apartment, Noah, Elle, and The Haitian are sitting out in the car.

Elle: _Can you PLEASE turn on the air conditioner?_ It's friggin hot in here…..

Haitian: Why did we leave?

Noah: Something's not right…..I think we need to keep Edward somewhere safe….

Edward: Uh….okay….

Noah: Something strange is going on…I need to talk to Mohinder but Niki sent him on some errand….

Inside the apartment, Jessica is about to leave. Matt comes up to her.

Matt: Hey, Niki….

Jessica: Uh…..yeah?

Matt: Where you headed off to?

Jessica: None of your business, get away or I'll break your face!

Matt: Okay….-giggle-…..I don't need to know….(Backing away)……Whatever you do is your business…..

Jessica: Thank you.

She takes a step….then turns around to find Matt in a state of shock.

Jessica: You already know, don't you?

Matt: _You're going to rob a casino!_ You can't do that!...It's cool and all….but it's crazy……that would be something your crazy reflected killer sister would dooo..eeehh….

Jessica glares at him.

Matt: Oh….ha, ha……eeerghh……I mean…._Pretty_……_crazy reflected killer sister_……um….

She moves in on him…

Matt: AHH! Get away from me Jessica…._I know Tai Kwon Jitsu!_..._HIIIYA!_..._OW!_...leg cramp…..oof….

Jessica rolls her eyes and clamps her hand on Matt's face, slowly pushing him into the bedroom.

Meanwhile, Mohinder is at the bus station waiting for Micah's arrival.

Mohinder (stopping a lady walking by): Excuse me….I'm here to pick up Micah Sanders….he's on Bus 143….

Woman: Hmm….(She checks her clipboard)….Bus 143 aint due to come back until the day after tomorrow.

Mohinder: What!?...Surely Niki would know this….but why would she send me all the way out here…..unless….something must be wrong, I shall head back to the apartment and rectify the situation immediately.

Woman: …_Who are you talking to?_

Mohinder: ….Myself…..?

Woman: ….Just checkin…..

_Hiro and Ando  
Some Street in Japan_

Hiro: Oh, Ando….this is horrible…Mieoko is dead.

Ando: Yeah….but on the bright side that makes you the winner by default.

Hiro: _REALLY!?_...Wait….no…..I can't accept this…..

Ando: Okay….(He eats the cookie).

Hiro: Someone was after him……but why?

Ando: Well, I don't know if you noticed but you were doing some crazy things earlier….maybe he can….make people do stuff….I don't know.

Hiro: What?

Ando: I don't know….like….mind control or something.

Hiro: Hmm…..you think so?

Ando: I dunno….

Hiro: Well, there is only one person we can talk to about this who may be able to shed some light on this….

Ando: Please say _Jessica Alba_…..

Hiro: No! Dr. Suresh….back in New York…..

Ando: You sure?...I heard that Jessica Alba is very experienced in this sort of thing.

Hiro: Come on, Ando…..Looks like we have another adventure on our hands….

Ando: -Groan-……

He grabs Ando's shoulder and they teleport out.

Meanwhile, back at the courthouse.

Peter: Ho hum……

Nathan: You sure are taking this lightly.

Peter: Meh….I can't complain……

Nathan: So…what's the game plan now…..?

Peter: AHH! It's 4:00…..

Nathan: And?

Peter: I need to be representing Claire!

Nathan: Wonderful.

Peter: Uh….uuuh……(Stands up)…._OBJECTION!_

Judge: We've taken a 10 minute recess, Mr. Petrelli.

Peter: Excellent. Be right back.

Nathan: You better not be late!

Peter rushes out of his courtroom and into the one _right across the hall_. He takes his seat next to Claire.

Claire: Hi Peter, do you know what you're doing?

Peter: Of course…..

Claire: You don't have to do this.

Peter: Bah! We're family….and as family we stick together, through thick and thin…..because that's just how we are.

Claire: How's Nathan?

Peter: He's getting sued by our mom and I'm representing him in court.

Claire: Oh….ok……wait…..'_Representing'_…..Thats '_Present Tense'_….

Peter: Hey, very good! You English teacher of yours sure knows his stuff….._too bad you had to kill him_…

Claire: _I didn't kill him!_ That's why I'm here…..

Peter: Ah….

Claire: I meant….are you defending him….'Right Now'…..?

Peter: No silly, I'm defending you…..but the next time we get a restroom break I'm probably going to have to pop back in across the hall….

Claire: _You have a case going on in the next room_!? Why did you take my case?

Peter: Because we're family, and as family we stick….

Claire: _We stick together because that's how we roll, blah, blah_, _blah_….I get it.

Mohinder returns back to the apartment, Noah confronts him.

Noah: Mohinder…

Mohinder: …Bennet….

Noah: Where the hell have you been? We've been trying to get a hold of you….

Mohinder: Don't ask, something strange is going on.

Noah: Yeah….

Mohinder: We should talk more inside…

He turns around to find Hiro and Ando popping in out of nowhere.

Hiro: _DR. SURESH!_

Mohinder: EEEEE!...Ugh…._Don't do that!_ You nearly gave me a heart attack!

Hiro: Oh….sorry…..

Mohinder: What's wrong?

Hiro: We must talk….inside…..

Mohinder: Uh…okay, come on in.

Mohinder, Hiro, Ando and Noah walk in. The Haitian and Edward gets out of the car and follow….Elle doesn't get out of the car because Noah _activated the child security lock_…

Elle: AHH! Help!...I'm stuck!...(She wiggles the door handle)……Dammit!

They get inside; Ando closes the door behind him.

Mohinder: So, what is the problem, Mr. Nakamura?

Hiro: You see, we just came from Japan. I was participating in _The Festival Of The Fire Dragon_, a prestigious competition where you must test your skills and win honor, respect….and a cookie….

Noah: -Sigh-….Fast Forward…..

Hiro: Anyway, my competition Mieoko was acting very strange….we believe that he may have the ability to make people do things….like 'Mind Control'.

Mohinder: Interesting….

Hiro: Well….'He may had'….really……he's no longer with us…..

Mohinder and Noah look at each other and shrug.

Hiro: He got hit by a car….

Mohinder and Noah: Oh…..ok….

Hiro: But the thing is…..right before he perished, he was being chased by this man in a suit….we didn't know who he was so we didn't think anything of it.

Mohinder: Hold on….Do you know how long Mieoko had this power….

Hiro: I'm not sure, but we've been rivals for a while and he never tried to control my mind before, so he probably didn't have it for too long….

Mohinder (to Noah): I'm starting to sense a connection here….

Noah: What?

Mohinder: Sarah McGregor….she can move objects with her mind….like Peter…….Edward can heal his wounds….like Claire…….and now this…Mieoko, can read minds and apparently control them….like Matt……and they all might have got them around the same time…..

Noah: When was that?

Mohinder: A few weeks ago…..at least that's what Edward and Sarah claim…..I'm just assuming the same for Mieoko.

Noah: Yeah, but what about the suits?

Mohinder: Right….they were followed. I'm not sure what it all means…..

Edward: How could we have gotten these abilities?

Noah: Yeah, what happened a few weeks back that could have triggered it?

Mohinder: The only major thing that has happened was the explosion, but that was more than a month ago……

Noah: Yeah…that couldn't be it….

Mohinder: But it is the only lead we have to figure out what's going on. I'll get Matt and we'll head down to where Richard Prescott's house _used_ to be…..maybe we'll find something….

Noah: In the meantime, we'll hide Edward. Someone is looking for him, I'm sure. (He turns to The Haitian) I trust you and Elle and take care of it….

Haitian: ….

Noah: Okay, I trust _you_ can take care of it.

Haitian: Of course.

Noah: Yeah, I better get back to Pennsylvania and check back in at home. I can only lie to Sandra for so long…..

-FLASHBACK-

Sandra (on the phone with Noah): Noah, where are you? _You're supposed to give Mr. Muggles a bubble bath_…

Noah (shuddering): Oh right….Well…..I'm stuck here in….

He frantically looks around, trying to find an idea; he spots a movie poster….

Noah: …._Narnia?_

Sandra: Oh, okay, I hear the weather is bad this time of year, just be careful.

Noah: Will do; see you when I get home.

Sandra hangs up and turns on the TV.

Tv Announcer: Now in theaters, _The Chronicles Of Narnia_…..A fictional movie so great, it will make your husband lie about not coming home to give your dog a bath!

Sandra: _HEY!_

-FIN-

Hiro: So what do we do….?

Mohinder: Stand there and look pretty….

Hiro: Yes…..

Ando rolls his eyes.

Mohinder leaves to his bedroom, he walks in to find Matt tied to the bed.

Mohinder: I don't think I want to know…..

Matt (gagged): Mmmph….rrmpmphrmrmm

Mohinder walks over and takes the rag out of his mouth.

Matt: Niki did this to me……well, Jessica actually….

Mohinder: _Now I really don't want to know_……Wait…_This is MY bedroom_…..Dammit, _now I'm going to have to burn my sheets_….

Matt: No…Niki turned into Jessica or whatever and she's going to rob a casino.

Mohinder: I beg your pardon…

Matt: I rented her _Ocean's Eleven_, and now Jessica has gone to 'Perform A Casino Heist' at that new casino that just opened….

Mohinder: Great….

Matt: We should stop her!

Mohinder: Ugh…..fine…..get ready, I'll be waiting in the car.

Matt: Um…. you untie me first?

Mohinder closes the door behind him….

Matt: Well, that's just great.

Mohinder: Change of plans….

Noah: What are you talking about?

Mohinder: Actually you guys are fine. But Hiro?

Hiro: Yes.

Mohinder: I need _you _to check out the mansion, there's not much left of it, but hopefully you can find something.

Hiro: Okay…Let's go Ando.

Ando: Uh…allright, I guess….

Mohinder: Well, I'm glad _that's_ all taken care of…..Now back to business.

Mohinder and the others leave….

Matt: Hello…..Mohinder!...Is anybody there?...Hello…..?

_Peter and Claire  
The Civilian's Court  
Courtroom B, across the hall from Courtroom A, down the hall from Courtroom D_……_There is no Courtroom C_……

Peter (with Claire at the stand): So…..Claire Bennet…..

Judge B: Bennet? I thought her last name was Flintstone?

Peter: Uh….you're right!..._Bennet is her middle name_….

Judge B: Whatever….

Peter: Now, Claire……you say on that fateful night when you killed a man….

Claire (gritting her teeth): _Stop saying that_….

Peter: That you say you were going to…..save his life.

Claire: Well, you see…..I thought he was going to die…..

Judge B: How would you know this?

Claire: Uh…..uhhh…..oh, I know!...My teacher gave my classmate Steve an F….and he said he was going to get revenge….so it had me worried.

Peter: I tell you one thing, _it definitely wasn't a painting predicting the future!_ That's for sure! (He winks at Claire) WINK! WINK!

Claire lobs her water bottle at Peter.

Peter: Ahhh!

Judge B: ANYWAY…….So then what happened?

Claire: Well, I was walking around at school, I stayed late……and Steve was sitting on the fountain, and then I noticed Mr. Graham walking into the clock tower, I wanted to stop him so I followed.

Judge B: You know that's really dangerous….

Claire: Oh, heh, heh….that's okay…._Danger is my middle name_…

Peter (eating a Twinkie): No it's not….._It's Bennet_…..-munch- -munch-……Ahh! _NO MILK!_

Claire: Can I get a new lawyer?

Judge B: We're looking into it……So what happened when you followed your teacher.

Claire: Well, I followed him up to the top of the clock tower so I could warn him that he was in danger…..then I get there, and he has a gun pointed at Steve…..the guy who I thought was going to kill him….

Judge B: I see….

Claire: Well….he….was startled that I was there…..and he shot me…..but he didn't kill me…..he just thought he did…..but he lost his footing and fell off the tower.

Judge B: Hmm…..okay, we'll take a 10 minute recess.

Claire: Okay….

She gets up and walks back over to Peter.

Claire: We're in recess.

Peter: Good, be right back.

Claire: Ugh….

Peter gets up and runs out of the courtroom.

Elsewhere, Matt and Mohinder are driving.

Mohinder: So where is this place again?

Matt: It's that new 'Fiesta Del Monaco' casino that just opened up….

Mohinder: And Jessica….is going to break into it.

Matt: Yes.

Mohinder: That just sounds absurd…..

Matt: Well, she did tie me up……

Mohinder: ….against your will?

Matt: Yup.

Mohinder: And you didn't think to tell her to '_Stop any of this'_?

Matt: Like she would listen….

Mohinder: I meant _telepathically_.

Matt: Oh….well….no I really didn't think about it.

Mohinder: So long story short….._it's your fault_.

Matt: WHAT!? No, it's not my fault.

Mohinder: You rented her the movie where she got the idea; and you didn't mentally prevent her from going. You caused it AND didn't try to stop it…..it's your fault.

Matt: Is not!

Mohinder: What are you, 5?

Matt: _I'm rubber; you're glue…whatever you say bounces off me and_….

Mohinder: Just stop talking…..

On the other side of town, Elle and The Haitian (with Edward) pull up.

Haitian: I don't think Bennet wants us hiding the man in a _Holiday Inn Express_.

Elle: Well yeah…..but they have a swimming pool.

Haitian: That doesn't matter; it's our job to keep him safe….

Elle: Did I mention that they also have a _free continental breakfast_?

Haitian: ………._Well, I suppose ONE night won't kill us_.

He turns to Edward in the back.

Haitian: We'll be staying here.

Edward: Uh…..okay.

The three of them get out of the car and proceed inside to check in, a red car which was following pulls over to the side, driven by Dale.

Dale: Allright, show time!

He gets on his phone and makes a call.

Back in the courthouse with Peter and Nathan….

Peter (to Nathan): Me thinks you are losing.

Nathan: No kiddin….

Peter: I'm out of options.

Nathan: Can't you just tell mom it was your idea to have everyone stow away and hide from Sylar? She likes you; she'll probably drop the charges.

Peter: But if I did that…..she wouldn't like me anymore…..

Nathan glares at peter.

Peter: Allright, allright……

Peter: OBJECTION!

Judge: What is it now, Mr. Petrelli?

Peter (leaning over to Nathan): Don't worry; I'll take the fall for you.

Nathan: Uh….thanks….

Peter: I just wanted to say that my brother is innocent, and……it was my fault Mrs. Petrelli's stuff was damaged…

Judge: Yeah, we've already came to that conclusion.

Peter: What?

Nathan: Huh?

Angela gets up and walks over to them.

Angela: Yes, I've decided to drop the charges against you Nathan….

Nathan: Well, good.

Peter: But why?

Angela: Well, because _we're family_…..

Peter: ….

Nathan: ….

Peter: …..

Nathan: …..You're lying.

Angela: Okay I am….but actually some new evidence was brought to my attention that I didn't notice before.

Peter: What's that?

Angela it's the video surveillance tape from back home….

She puts it in the tv and turns it on; the tape shows Peter walking around and destroying things left and right.

Peter: That's me?!

Angela: Yeah.

Peter: I'm obviously _sleepwalking_.

Angela: Well….

Nathan: Well, I'm off the hook, that's all that matters.

Peter: Well, I'm just glad we can put this all behind us and laugh….

Angela: …..Those were a lot of expensive things you destroyed.

Peter busts out laughing.

Nathan: …..

Peter: HA….ha……heh……hmmm…….Gotta run!

He hauls out of the courtroom across the haul back into Claire's case.

Claire: There you are!

Peter: Yes. Thanks to my expert lawyer skills, Nathan is off the hook…..Though I'm probably going to be sued next.

Claire: That's nice.

Peter: And since I'm on a roll, I can clear your name too.

Claire: Really?

Peter: Yes…..OBJECTION!

Judge B: Yes?

Peter: I would like to 'have the floor'.

Judge B: Um….okay.

Peter: Claire, will you join me?

Claire: Ooookay.

She gets up and walks next to Peter.

Peter: I have deduced everything that happened that night.

Judge B: Well….actually…..

Peter: And I'm going to show you through…..a 'reenactment'.

Judge B: That's not really…..

Peter: Okay, Claire….you'll be Claire.

Claire: Duh….

Peter: And I'll be _Mr. Belding_ or whatever his name is.

Claire: Mr. Graham…

Peter: Right….okay…._Claire! What are you doing here?! You have followed me up to the top of this clock tower to save my life_…._But for I am the killer_…_HA! What a cruel twist of ironic fate for you, my dear!_

Claire: Uh….._Stop! Don't shoot!_

Peter: What was that?

Claire: What?

Peter: That was just….awful.

Claire: What are you talking about?

Judge: Are you two finished?

Peter: I mean, put a little more effort into it. Okay….from the top….

Judge: Would the Jury please rise already?!

Jury Member: Yes….we find the defendant…Claire Flintstone…..on the count of Murder in the First Degree…..Not Guilty!

Claire: Whew! Thank you Peter, you almost screwed up everything….but came through at the end….I guess.

Peter: Well, I'm just glad that is over….One day we'll look back on this and laugh….

Claire: Yeah…..I doubt it.

Peter: Ah…..

_Mohinder And Matt  
The Fiesta Del Monaco Casino_

Mohinder and Matt walk into the front lobby of the luxurious casino.

Mohinder (shocked): Oh wow…..this place is huge!

Matt: We need to look for Niki….or Jessica….or whatever.

Mohinder: It's beautiful….There are so many flashing lights and sounds….

Matt: Um….have you never been to a casino, Mohinder?

Mohinder: Well, once or twice but it was never _this_ fancy….I mean, look at his place!

Matt: Yeah, it's nice….

Mohinder: _It's more than nice!_...That's just….wow….I can't get over this place….

Matt: Well, that's just special…but we have bigger problems at hand.

Mohinder: I'm going to try one game.

Matt: Ah crap…..

Mohinder sits down at a _Wheel Of Fortune Video Slot Machine_….

Mohinder: Ooooh, Wheel of Fortune.

On the screen, Vanna White appears.

Vanna: Hi, welcome to Wheel Of Fortune Slots! Get 5 of the special 'Wheel' symbols and you can spin the big wheel for a chance to win _BIG MONEY!_

Mohinder: Did you hear that Matt?! She said _Big Money!_

Matt rolls his eyes.

Mohinder: Okay, I'll put in one coin.

Matt: I have a feeling where _this _is going? Are you done yet, Mohinder?

Mohinder: Can't talk…..Wheel Of Fortune…….Damn, I'm awful at this…._Sure could use Micah right about now…_

Matt: Great, I'll go get Jessica myself…..unless…..

Matt concentrates, trying to control Mohinder's mind. Some ladies walk by….

Paula: So Sue, where's your husband?

Sue: He's at the Roulette table again. I wish I could _control his mind so he'll quit; but they say that doesn't work in places like these_…

Matt: -Groan-…..Dammit!

He storms off. Meanwhile, underground Jessica all dressed up in her sneaky leather suit is in a hallway filled with lasers.

Jessica: Simple enough…..

She ducks under the first one and gracefully evades the others, slipping and easing her way to the end of the hallway.

Jessica: Ah….perfect.

Niki (in the wall's reflection): What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Jessica: I'm about to get rich…..I don't need to play any of those silly games….

Niki: You're going to get yourself killed….

Jessica is about to enter through a door….

Matt: Jessica!

Jessica (spinning around): Matt!? How the hell did you get down here?

Matt: I took the stairs…..You need to stop this.

Jessica: Make me….

Matt (to himself): I controlled her mind once, I'm sure I can do it again….

Matt mentally tells Jessica to walk back over to him….Which she does……_walking through the lasers_.

_-WOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!-_

Matt: Hmm….okay, _that wasn't smart_.

A barrage of security bursts into the hallway and tackles Matt and Jessica.

Matt: OOF!...Hey, I'm innocent…..man….damn, where's Mohinder?

Mohinder (still playing Wheel Of Fortune): Okay….I'm about done here….

Vanna: But you must keep playing!...You don't want to make me sad…do you?

Mohinder: Uh….of course not….

Mohinder puts in more money.

Vanna (rubbing her hands together in an 'evil' fashion): Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha…..HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!...

Meanwhile, back at the Holiday Inn Express.

Elle: Ahh….this is the life…..

Haitian: Yes…..it's a shame Bennet is missing out on this….

Elle: Yeah….._not really_.

Edward: Hey uh….someone's knocking at the door.

Elle: Oooh! Must be the room service!

Elle happily gets up and skips to the doorway. She opens it to find Dale standing there.

Dale: _Guess again_.

He thrusts his arm, shooting electricity at Elle. The force of the blast sends her to the ground, sliding to the end of the room. He fires off another shot at the Haitian with his left hand, which propels him out of the window behind him. Elle scrambles to her feet….

Elle: What the hell?!

Dale shoots more electricity at her, but she counters with her own, Elle and Dale stand off several feet apart _connected by one giant strand of lightning_. Edward tries to hide in the restroom. With one hand occupied, Dale reaches for a flower vase with the other, flinging it at Elle. The vase crashes against her head and she passes out. Dale proceeds to the restroom where Edward is hiding.

Dale: Hi there!...Yeah, you're going to have to come with me…..

Dale escorts Edward out of the room, past Elle's unconscious body. Outside, people are huddled around the Haitian, who is sprawled out on the ground in front of the pool.

Back at the casino, Matt and Niki (Jessica is gone…of course) are in restraints.

Matt: This bites…..

Niki: It wasn't my fault.

Matt: Yeah….but…..man, I don't think I can get us out of this one.

Niki: Well, we had a good run.

Matt: Yeah…..

Back in his car, Dale (with Edward tied up), leaves the parking lot, he gets back on his phone.

Mr. Fox (answering): Do you have any good news?

Dale: Yup, I got him, and took out everyone else.

Mr. Fox: Good bring him to the other address I gave you, I'll be there shortly. I have some business to attend to first.

Mr. Fox hangs up and gets out of his chair; he opens his office doors into the room _where Matt and Niki are tied up_.

Matt: Who are you?

Mr. Fox: My name is Thomas Fox…..I own this casino……

Matt: It's…..very nice.

Niki: Yeah…..very…….

Matt and Niki look at each other.

_To Be Continued_…

Next time, on Heroes…..

Elle (standing off with Dale): I want a re-match….jerk!

Dale (electricity running down his arm): You're on……

Mr. Fox: _Do not let them escape!_

Matt, Niki, and Mohinder are running down the hall.

Niki: It's a dead end!

Matt: Don't worry, there's got to be a hidden switch….I saw it on an episode of _Scooby Doo_!

Mohinder: Well, think of something.

Matt feels around the wall and clicks something.

Matt: AHA! See, told you!

A portion of the wall opens…._to reveal more security standing behind it_.

Matt: Well damn…..

Heroes continues, next week…..


	12. Against All Odds

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 12: Against All Odds

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Matt: _Previously on Heroes_….

Jessica (in Niki's reflection): I need some excitement….something….thrilling and dangerous…

Niki: Uh….

Jessica: They just opened the new _Fiesta Del Monaco Casino_ downtown….

Niki: You're off to gamble? Oh, well…don't have too much fun.

Jessica: Oh no….I'm going to do _much more than that_.

Niki realizes she's now Jessica's reflection.

Niki: Oh crap…..(Banging on the mirror) What are you planning to do?!

Jessica: Me?...(She slips on some gloves)…._I'm going to have some fun_…..

She struts out of the bathroom.

Niki: What is she planning on doing?...I wish I had some sort of idea.

She hears Matt's voice in the background.

Matt: Hey Niki, I rented you _Ocean's Eleven_, did you end up watching it yet?

Niki: Oh no……

Meanwhile, Mohinder is at the bus station waiting for Micah's arrival.

Mohinder (stopping a lady walking by): Excuse me….I'm here to pick up Micah Sanders….he's on Bus 143….

Woman: Hmm….(She checks her clipboard)….Bus 143 aint due to come back until the day after tomorrow.

Mohinder: What!?...Surely Niki would know this….but why would she send me all the way out here…..unless….something must be wrong, I shall head back to the apartment and rectify the situation immediately.

Woman: …_Who are you talking to?_

Mohinder: ….Myself…..?

Woman: ….Just checkin…..

Edward: Hey uh….someone's knocking at the door.

Elle: Oooh! Must be the room service!

Elle happily gets up and skips to the doorway. She opens it to find Dale standing there.

Dale: _Guess again_.

Back in his car, Dale (with Edward tied up), leaves the parking lot, he gets back on his phone.

Mr. Fox (answering): Do you have any good news?

Dale: Yup, I got him, and took out everyone else.

Mr. Fox: Good bring him to the other address I gave you, I'll be there shortly. I have some business to attend to first.

Mr. Fox hangs up and gets out of his chair; he opens his office doors into the room _where Matt and Niki are tied up_.

Matt: Who are you?

Mr. Fox: My name is Thomas Fox…..I own this casino……

_Hiro and Ando_  
_Prescott Mansion Ruins_  
_Ugh, This place is a mess! You better clean it up before dad gets home!_

Hiro and Ando shuffle through the huge piles of debris from where the Mansion of Richard Prescott once stood.

Hiro: This place is in total shambles! You would think someone would've cleaned it up by now.

Ando: What are we supposed to be looking for?

Hiro: I don't know….some kind of clue to what's been going on. These new people have been realizing they have abilities but the connection is it all has happened around the time of the explosion…We're probably wasting our time….but it wouldn't hurt to look.

Ando: Man….so many other things I could be doing on a Saturday….

They continue to shuffle through debris…..

_Matt and Niki   
Fiesta Del Monaco Casino Head Offices  
Vegas, Baby Vegas!!!_..._Well, not really_…..

Thomas Fox is slowly pacing around the office as Matt and Niki are on their knees in restraints.

Fox: It has come to my attention that you two were trying to steal from my casino……most unfortunate.

Matt: No, she was…..I was trying to stop her……

Fox: Uh huh……

Agent: Sir! We checked the security cameras and caught a man who was walking in with them…..we took him into custody.

Matt: Oh great….(Leaning over to Niki)….._Watch it be Tom Jones_…..

Mohinder gets plopped down on the floor next to him.

Matt: Wow! No….It's Mohinder…..I wasn't expecting that twist of events.

Niki shoots a strange look at Matt.

Mohinder: I can't believe I wasted so much money at that Wheel of Fortune machine…..that _Vanna White_ is an evil Siren she is……she…she just kept making me go back….I….I couldn't stop it!

Niki (to Fox): Can you shoot me first?

At the Holiday Inn Express, Elle sits up in a flash….

Elle: Gah!...(Breathing heavily)…..Oh….._OW!_...Man, my head hurts…….

She looks around….

Elle: Where did that guy go?...Man….._What an ass!_...

She scrambles to her feet and looks around the room, Edward nowhere to be found.

Elle: Well crap…..Wait….

She runs to the window and looks down to the ground to find paramedics taking The Haitian away in an ambulance.

Elle: _Double Crap!_

She sprints out of the room and runs into the clerk, carrying a tray of food.

Elle: _There you are!_ I ordered my room service forever ago! Slow poke!

She naps the food off the tray.

Elle: Yoink!...I'll be taking this!

Clerk: Hey! That doesn't belong to you!...

Elle (pulling out some bread): Ewww, _poppy seeds_!...Oh well……(Stuffing it into her mouth as she runs out the door)

---The world is spinning…..Ahhh, Jane! Get me off this crazy thing…….Heroes…---

_Micah Sanders  
Mohinder's Apartment  
'Heroes is filmed in front of a live studio audience'_

Micah, coming home from his field trip, leaves the bus and walks up to into the apartment complex. On the side of the bus reads:

_CHAPTER 12: AGAINST ALL ODDS_

Upon reaching Mohinder's place he runs into….

Micah: Oh….hey Molly.

Molly (sitting outside of the door on the ground): Huh?...Oh, Hi Micah.

Micah: Are….you locked out or something?

Molly: Yeah, I don't think anybody is home, and my house key doesn't work for some reason…

Micah: Oh….

Molly: Hey, aren't you home a little early?

Micah: Yeah, the field trip leader got sick from eating a bad tuna sandwich and cancelled the rest of the trip…

Molly: That's not cool….

Micah: Nah, its okay, our next stop was the _Potato Chip Museum_….so….I'm kinda glad it's over.

Molly: Yeah……

Well, enough of that. Meanwhile, back at the Casino….

Matt: Anybody else hungry?...Man, I don't even remember the last time we ate…

Niki: Well, we're most likely going to die here…..

Matt: Don't look at us. This was all your crazy sister's doing….

Niki: You're right…….and to think I'm supposed to see if I could get that fixed…._which was why I came to live with you two in the first place_…..though now we never ended up doing that….

Matt: We got distracted because of Sylar……he was up to no good…….

Niki: Uh, yeah….

Mohinder: I don't know what this man plans to do with us….but Niki is right. If we don't think of something we'll probably going to get killed.

Niki: Well, if _someone could get someone to let us free_.

Matt: …..

Niki: By….._forcing them_….

Matt: ………Are you talking to me?

Niki: You can control their minds, you dolt!

Matt: There are a ton of guards here, there's no way!

Niki: Ugh…..

Matt: Don't worry……My powers……_they will evolve_……and they will save us.

Niki: What?

Matt closes his eyes and concentrates really hard……closing his eyes tightly, he opens them……._To find himself in the middle of Times Square_….

Matt (spreading his arms): _YATTA! Hello New York!_...

Matt's feeling of euphoria is suddenly interrupted by the painful sting of someone slapping him in the back of the head. _WHACK!_

Matt: OW!

Niki: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Matt: Well, it was worth a shot!...I don't see _you_ coming up with any great ideas….

Niki: A part of me _really doesn't want to_……

_Noah Bennet  
The Bennet Home  
What's on Tv: 'Growing Pains'_……_Sandra's favorite show_.

Sandra: No it isn't!

Noah: Uh…..who are you talking to?

Sandra: uh…..What?

Noah: Well, I must say that was one delicious dinner!

Sandra: I know……

Sandra holds up a bucket of _Kentucky Fried Chicken_.

Sandra (to the camera): _And you can have a delicious dinner too! With one of KFC's value meals! Starting as low as 4 dollars. Plus, with their new variety buckets, the whole family can eat for a great low price_……._KFC_……_Isn't it about time you had some chicken_…..

Noah: Wait, you made pot roast…..where the hell did that chicken come from?!

Sandra (walking over to the table): Now honey, you must be confused by the smell in here……_thanks to these new Glade scented candles_…..

Sandra (to the camera): _Does your house reek of rotten fish, suspicious husbands, and children who don't help around the house?!_

Claire (sitting with Lyle at the table): Uh….We're in the room…..

Sandra: _Make it smell 10 times better with Glade Fresh Scented Candles! With scents like 'Mountain Breeze', 'Outdoor Fresh', and 'Murky Swamp', anybody can truly make their house_….._a home_……._Glade Scented Candles_……_isn't it about time you stopped smelling like crap_?!

Noah (banging the table): _STOP IT WITH THE COMMERCIALS!!_

Sandra: Well, excuse me I'm trying to make some money on the side……now if you don't mind, I have to make desert……_Betty Crocker's Rich Chocolate Brownies!_

Noah: I'm outta here…..

Noah leaves the table and walks into the hall, his phone rings.

Noah (seeing it's Elle): Oh great……..(Answering)…..Yeah?

Elle: (in the car) MRB.WEHAVEAREALLYBADPROBLEMWELOSTTHEGUYANDSOMEOTHERGUYWITHELECTICITYCAMEINANDSENTTHEHAITIANOUTTHEWINDOWANDTOOKEDWARDORWHATEVERHISNAMEISANDNOWIMDRIVINGDOWNTHEROADANDEATINGPOPPYSEEDBREAD…..

Noah: Stop talking so fast! All I caught was 'Poppy Seed Bread'……and the only thing I know about that is that _you're allergic to it_.

Elle: WHAT!?

Elle looks into the rear view mirror to see her face swelled up and splotchy.

Elle: AHHHHHHHH!

Noah: Ow….that was only my ear drum…..

Elle: I'm hideous! Nooooooo!

Noah: Whatever….

He hangs up the phone and walks back in the kitchen.

Elle: What am I going to do!?...Oooh….is that?...It's the hospital!

She drives the car up to the emergency entrance, and gets out. Stumbling inside….

Elle (making her way to the desk): You have to help me!

Nurse: Okay…..just fill out this 38 page information form……it'll probably be a 7 hour wait…..

Elle (grabbing the nurse's shirt): Lady, _you have 5 seconds to make me pretty again_……or I'll be raining down some massive amounts of hell on everybody in this room.

Elle (turning around): Does anybody have a problem with that?!

The patients shake their heads.

Elle: Yay! Thanks!

Elle skips away as the nurse sits there, confused.

Back at the Casino, one of the guards approaches the group.

Agent: You know we're going to kill you, right?

Matt: Please don't, _I'm too young and pretty to die_…..

Agent: Well, the only pretty one _is your girlfriend here_ (he approaches Niki).

Niki (slightly blushing): Oh stop……tee hee……

Mohinder: _Tee Hee?! Who the hell says 'Tee Hee'?_

Matt: _Girlfriend!?_ Puh-lease!...She's too mean……

Agent: Is that so….._I wonder how mean she really is_…..

Niki chuckles to herself, looking down for a moment, she looks back up at him with a devilish grin.

Matt: Uh oh…..bad feeling…..bad feeling!

Jessica: …._Wouldn't you like to know_…..

Jessica swings her arms forward, breaking her restraints. She grabs the Agents head and slams it to the ground, grabbing the gun out of his pocket and shooting the other three guards at the doorway. Mohinder and Matt take cover by falling over sideways to the ground.

Mohinder: Eh…..are we going to be saved or are we going to die anyway…..?

Matt: There's no telling….

One of the guards, on the floor, manages to get up….

Matt: Hmm….

Matt controls the guard's mind to flip a switch on the wall, which activates the alarm.

Matt: Uh oh….

Mohinder: You did not just make him do that….

Matt: Well, I thought it was a fire alarm or something…..you know….make the sprinklers go off….

Mohinder: Well that's just great…..Well, get him to untie us or something….

Several more guards burst into the room, Jessica gets to work. She dodges the shot of one of the agents and grabs his arm, elbowing him in the face. She spins him around and uses his hand to shoot the other guards there. She realizes that one more is standing behind her, at which point she leans backwards on her hands, kicking her feet up locking them onto the guy's head………_CRACK!_

Mohinder and Matt (cringing): _Ohhh…_

Meanwhile, the other guard who was shot is slowly making his may to Matt and Mohinder via mind control. He makes it there and unties them both.

Matt: There, much better.

Jessica hauls out of the room.

Matt: Hey, where is she going?

Mohinder: To save herself with our safety the furthest thing from her thoughts.

Matt: So…..would that be Niki or Jessica?

Back at the hospital, Elle has been treated and wheeled to her room for recovery.

Doctor: Okay Ms. Bishop, you are all cleared up. Just take these anti-inflammatory pills every few hours….

Elle: Thanks, doc.

Doctor: Now remember; don't eat any more poppy seeds!

Elle: I won't…..

Doctor: And next time, if you can……_pay attention to your bracelet!_

Elle looks down at her bracelet which reads: _I'm allergic to Poppy Seeds, call 911 immediately._

Elle: Oh! Is that what that is….

Doctor: You should be good to go in a few hours, just use this time to rest. You can talk to your roommate if you'd like…..

The doctor pulls back the curtain to find the Haitian, eating his food.

Elle: GAH! There you are!

She walks over to him….

Elle: I thought you were dead….but don't worry, we'll find that creep.

Haitian: Hello friend……would you like to play chess?

Elle: Uh, what's wrong with you? You never play chess….

Doctor: Yeah, we believe he's suffering from a case of _Amnesia_….

Elle: WHAT!?

Doctor: We don't know when his memory will return….

Elle: _Amnesia?_..._Really?_

Doctor: Yes…..

Elle: ….Huh……._REALLY!?_

Doctor: Yes…..

Elle: Wow……That Haitian has amnesia…..

Doctor: Uh….yes….

Elle: Huh……_REALLY!?_

Doctor: _Yes, dammit!_

Elle: Huh……I didn't see that ironic twist coming….

Doctor: Uh….whatever….

He leaves.

Elle: I have to tell someone……but who……._who am I gonna call?!_...

Janine (answering the phone): _Ghost Busters…_

Elle: My Haitian friend can't remember stuff! Isn't that weird?

Janine: I don't know who you are, but unless you have _an actual problem_, stop calling!

She slams the phone.

Elle: Rude……hmm…..now who should I call……

Noah (rolling his eyes, answering his ringing phone): ….Are you going to talk like a normal human being this time?

Elle: Okay….(takes a deep breath), we stopped and hid the guy with us at a Holiday Inn express where we where accosted by this other dude who can shoot lighting out his hands as well. He threw the Haitian out the window, made off with Edward, and I was knocked out. The Haitian went to the ER; I ate some poppy seed bread, and went to the ER too. Now I'm here next to the Haitian who now has amnesia from falling out of the window of the Holiday Inn express…..

Noah: …..Why would you stay at a Holi…..wait…..The Haitian has _Amnesia_?

Elle: Yes…..

Noah: ….The Haitian……has Amnesia…..

Elle: Yeah….

Noah: ……_Really?!_

Elle: Yes!

Noah: …Huh……._Really!?_

Elle: _Yes, dammit!_

Noah: Huh……I didn't see that ironic twist coming….

Elle: I know!

Noah: Well, just stay there, I'll be down there as soon as I go to sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, play some golf, get my hair cut, go to the gym, drop Lyle off at soccer practice, grab some lunch, and _THEN_ when I feel like it….

Elle: Allright, _but hurry_…….In the meantime….._I've got a score to settle_….

(A dramatic close up of Elle as she looks out the window)

Noah: Uh…._are we done here?_

Elle: Oh, yeah….

She hangs up.

At the Casino, Thomas Fox is walking around the main portion greeting customers. An agent approaches him…..

Agent: Mr. Fox….the prisoners have escaped….

Fox (smiling, greeting people): Don't worry about it….

Agent: Huh?

Fox: Dale will be here shortly, he'll get them…..

Agent: 'Dale'?...Wait…..isn't he one of the 7 people who you're having us look for?

Fox: That's right…..

Agent: Um….where did he come from?

Fox: Don't worry about it…..it's not important….just focus on finding the remaining ones…._without getting them killed_……This is your next target….

He hands the agent a paper with the guy's information on it….

Fox: His name is Darren Miller; our records indicate he has the ability _to fly_…

Agent: Oh…uh….okay. I'm on it….

The Agent walks away from Fox and out the door. Fox thinks to himself for a second and returns to the crowd.

Back at the Mansion Site, a worn out Ando walks up to Hiro.

Ando: Hiro, aren't we done yet? I'm tired of looking; this place has been obliterated…

Hiro: We can't go back just yet Ando….there must be something here….

Hiro moves away several pieces of rubble and sighs.

Hiro: You're right…..there isn't anything here…..Let's go.

He gets up to turn away, tripping over something.

Hiro: Huh?

He leans over and finds a metal latch in the floor; he pulls on it, revealing a small set of steps in the ground.

Hiro: Look at this!

Ando: Wow….where do you think it leads?

Hiro: Only one way to find out….

Ando: Right…..You have fun with that.

Hiro: Oh come on……

Ando: Ugh…..

They both descend the stairs in the ground, upon reaching the bottom, they find a small office.

Hiro: Oh….well, this wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd hoped….

Ando: It's small….crampy….and stuffy….

Hiro: Well, I guess we can look around while we're here…….

Noah walks into Claire's room, who is sitting on her bed reading.

Noah: Hi, Claire Bear….

Claire: Oh, hey dad….

Noah: Did you and Peter get that thing done….

Claire (to herself): Oh right….he doesn't know about the trial….it's better that he doesn't…..hell, _I wish I could forget about it_. Where's the Haitian when you need him?

Noah: Claire?

Claire: Huh….oh right…..It went fine…..just fine…..

Noah: That's good…..Well, I have to go…..something has…..come up….(He shifts his eyes).

Claire: Dad, I told you not to do that, it makes you look even more suspicious….

Noah: Ah yes…..well, I have to go see how much trouble Elle is in…..something about The Haitian having Amnesia….

Claire: The Haitian has Amnesia?

Noah: Yes….

Claire: ….._Really?!_

Noah: Don't ask.

Claire: Oh, okay…..

Noah: Well, you be good and try to avoid your mother's commercials and I'll be back shortly.

He walks away and opens the door to find Sandra…

Sandra: _Having trouble sleeping because of a silly cold? Take NyQuil, the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching_…..

Noah slams the door.

Noah: _I'll go out the window_….

Dale and Edward enter the Casino and meet up with Fox into a private room.

Fox: You did well…..

Dale: I know….it was a piece of cake!

Fox: Allright, I'll have some words with our guest shortly.

Dale: Yeah, it was tricky getting him though…._that girl with the same power as me put up a fight_.

Fox: What did you just say?

Dale: I had to take out some girl, she can do what I do…..pretty weird.

Fox: Why haven't you mentioned this?!

Dale: Uh…..I don't know….it didn't seem important…

Fox: I…..this…..I've been making a big deal about these 6 individuals with powers….including yourself….

Dale: 6?…..I thought you told me there were 7…

Fox: Oh right, there are this girl be the 8th…..could there be more?...This….this is far more complex than I could've ever imagined….

Dale: Yeah, I read about something like this once…..this evolution book by a _Dr. Suresh_……It's pretty popular…..in fact I wouldn't doubt if everybody in the world has read it at least once….

Fox: …._Suresh_……where have I heard that name…..?

Fox thinks back to looking at the Security Cameras with another clerk.

Fox: Yeah, that's him. (Pointing to Mohinder at the 'Wheel of Fortune' machine) My men just took him in….

Clerk: His name is _Mohinder Suresh_….he kept babbling on about _wanting to open up a membership because Vanna White told him too_…..

Reminiscing Complete….

Fox: That man…..he wrote the book…..

Dale: Hmm….don't know….the author was some old guy named Suresh….

Fox: No…..but…..hmm……..him and his accomplices tried to rob from the Casino, find them…..especially Suresh, and bring him back to me….

Dale: Got it, Chief…..

Dale heads out.

Fox (to Edward): You wait right here….I'll be back for you shortly…..

Fox storms out of the room; he walks to the entrance…._bumping into Elle_….

Fox: Oh…..I'm sorry…..Welcome to 'The Fiesta Del Monaco'….the finest casino in New York.

Elle: It looks lovely!

Fox: If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask….

Elle: Oh, don't mind me….I'm just looking for someone….

Fox smiles and heads out the door, Elle grins as she pulls out an electronic device of some sort.

Elle: Heh, Mr. B would be so proud…..I learned my lesson after _Cy made off with Claire and Sylar in that silly cabin incident_….I almost forgot I had a _tracking device on the guy_…..

Lady: Excuse me miss, who are you talking to….?

Elle: Uh……Nobody….

Lady: Uh huh…..

She walks off.

Elle: Weirdo……Hmm…..Let's see….

Inside the side office, Edward is scratching the lower part of his back…

Edward: What the hell is that? It's been bugging me for hours….

Edward peels off the electronic tracking piece attached to the skin on his back and looks at it.

Edward: _AHH! A TICK!_

He hurls it to the ground and smashes it.

Elle: Hey! What gives….it's not working!...Aw….that sucks…..Well, he's gotta be here somewhere…..

Elle walks around the casino, on the second floor, Dale spots her and thinks to himself….

Dale: ….Nah….

He shakes his head and continues to look for Mohinder…

Back at the Mansion Ruins, Hiro is looking through the desk. He opens a drawer to find a book with several scientific equations and some notes….

Hiro: Hmm…..(he flips the page and reads one of the book's entries)….

_I have been working on this new serum for my father. But I fear of the consequences that may follow. I want to try to make him proud, but he is not the man he once was. He thinks that having power is a curse, and that my sister has been exiled to a life of secrecy, not knowing of what would happen if the world knew what she, along with other people like her, were capable of doing. He wants to create a 'antidote' for people's abilities, but I don't, I want them to be who they were meant to be, and the public to know that living in a world with them could make it a better place. But in my father's point of view, it could destroy the world. I wish I knew, so I must go against my father's wishes and do what I had originally planned, for I'm afraid that if I'm wrong, I'll be making the biggest mistake of my life_….

Hiro: Huh?...

Ando: What is that?

Hiro: I guess a journal of some sort…

He turns the book over….

Hiro: _Property of Simon Prescott_….

Ando: Hmm….

Hiro: This was written a few days before the explosion….

Ando: And?

Hiro: …..I must find out what really happened?

Ando: I thought you did that already.

Hiro: No, something else….that we are unaware of…..

Ando: Oh…..

Hiro: I must go back in time…

Ando: Oh boy….

Hiro: For your safety, you cannot come along.

Ando: What!?...Well…..I suppose….but don't get yourself killed……and don't take too long either. _The last thing I need is another 'Feudal Japan'_.

Hiro: Okay, I'll be quick.

Hiro teleports out of there, Ando pokes around the office.

Ando: Hmm….I guess I could've asked him to drop me off at home first…..

Niki is running down the hall, being chased by Matt and Mohinder.

Niki: Dead end!

Matt: She hasn't killed us….so I think she's Niki again.

Niki: It won't be long until those guards catch up with us, we have to find a way out of here.

Matt: Man, I can't believe we're stuck doing this, _I'm missing Family Guy_! Heh, last night's episode was so funny….

-Matt's flashback to him watching Family Guy on tv-

Lois: Peter, did you clean out the garage like I asked you to?

Peter: Oh, sorry Lois, I couldn't. It's really dark in there. In fact I was more lost and confused than when I watched that episode of _Heroes_ when they were standing around doing nothing….

-PETER'S FLASHBACK-

Mohinder, Niki, and Matt are standing in the hallway doing nothing.

Niki: That was….weird….

Matt: I think I just gave myself a headache….

Mohinder: Someone's coming….

Matt: Hold on…..I just thought of something.

Niki: Stand back, _he's gonna explode_!

Matt: Hmph…..anyway, search the wall.

Niki: The wall?

Mohinder: What good would that do?

Matt: I saw it on an episode of 'Scooby Doo'. They always have secret levers in the walls.

Matt feels around and clicks something.

Matt: See?! Told you.

The portion of the wall opens up to reveal _more guards_.

Matt: Well crap.

Voice: _Mohinder Suresh_….

Mohinder: -Gasp- It's Vanna White, I just know it! Hide me…..

Dale walks down the stairway into the hallway….

Mohinder: Oh, maybe not….

Niki: You thought that was….oh forget it….

Dale: Thanks guys for securing the good doctor for me….

Agent (to another Agent): You know, I'm not liking this guy; he's making us look bad in front of the boss.

Agent: You're right, let's take him out.

The Agents _walks past Mohinder and Co. and confront Dale_.

Matt: What the?

Niki: Don't ask questions, just run for it.

The three of them run into the open section of the wall as Dale is approached by the Agents.

Dale: What are you doing?! You're letting them get away.

Agent: We don't like you very much….In fact, _we think you're getting in our way_.

Dale: Well, can't help it if the boss likes me better. You guys let the _telekinetic girl get away, the mind controlling guy get hit by a car, your boss actually found me, and I found the guy who can regenerate. _In short….._you guys suck at your jobs_.

The Agents get extremely upset and draw their guns.

Dale: Oooh, bad move….

Dale, holding out both of his hands, electrocutes the group of Agents. Mohinder and Co. stop in the hall to hear the commotion.

Mohinder: _Electrocution_...?

Niki: Don't ask, run.

The three of them continue to run down the hall.

Dale dusts off his hands as he hears a closed door's knob begin to jiggle.

Dale: Hey…..

He walks toward it…

Dale: Is that you, Boss?

He opens the door to find _Elle_.

Elle: _Guess Again_.

She punches Dale in the mouth, sending him falling to the ground.

Elle: That was for upsetting me to the point where I had to eat _Poppy Seed bread_….jerk!

Dale: Heh, you got quite a punch on ya…..

He slides his leg across Elle's, making her trip. She kicks him in the stomach.

Dale: OOF!

The both stand up and fire off their respective bolts of by a single strand again.

Elle: You're not bringing me down this time, punk….

Dale: Watch me….

Dale concentrates to broaden the strength of his electricity, Elle stumbles back a bit. She slowly spreads her arms out then claps them together, sending a wave of electrical force to Dale, shocking him to the ground.

Elle: Whew…….

Elle walks over to him.

Elle: I'm not done with you yet, get up!

Dale: Allright….

Grabbing a loose table leg from a broken table, Dale spins back to his feet, smacking Elle across the face with it.

Elle: GAH!...

On the floor, Dale pins her with one hand firing some more lighting. Elle trying to push it back with her own, but has very limited mobility.

Dale: I'm afraid the game is over, my dear…..

With a free hand, he pulls out a switchblade knife. Leaning down, slightly pressing it against Elle's neck…

Elle: Oh….not…..good…….

Dale moves in as suddenly everything stops….at the sound of a gunshot.

Elle!

Dale falls off of Elle and to the side. Stunned, she gets up to find Noah standing at the end of the hallway with his smoking pistol.

Noah (walking over): You all right?

Elle: Wow, _did you just do what I think you did_?!

Noah: Yeah, yeah, don't dwell on it….

Elle: You just like….saved me…..how awesome….

Noah: I said don't dwell on it…..

Elle: Wait, I just talked to you not that long ago, how did you get here so fast.

Noah: I had some help.

-FLASHBACK-

Noah is about to leave his house, he opens the door to find Peter.

Peter: Oh hey, Mr. Bennet.

Noah: Oh, hi Peter, thanks for taking care of Claire.

Peter: Not a problem, no need to thank me. _You daughter is a free woman now_….

Noah: I beg your pardon?

Peter: Now that she doesn't have to go to the big house for attempted murder….

Noah: WHAT?!

Peter: I just needed to drop off some stuff…..

Noah: …….

Peter: ……

Noah: ……

Peter: ….Ooookay, getting some awkward vibes here…..

-END-

Noah: He was able to track you down to this casino and gave me a lift.

Elle: That would explain it….

Noah: Okay, let's find Edward and get the hell out of here….

They run down the hall….

Elle: You saved me….how funny.

Noah: Shut up!

Fox, looking at the scene via security camera, is fuming. He gets on the phone….

Agent (on phone): Yes sir?

Fox: Cancel your search for Miller……Dale and all my Agents here are dead.

Agent: _And you want us to come back there!?_

Fox: No…..go to Dr. Suresh's home…..find anything….and take anything you can……I have his address on file……

He looks at Mohinder's Casino Membership Screen……..

Later, back at Mohinder's. The landlord opens up the door and lets Micah and Molly in.

Micah: Well, that was close….

Molly: Yeah, I don't know where everyone could be….I'll look for them here in a second.

She walks off as Micah hears a car door slam. He walks over to the window and peeks outside, where some Agents are entering the building….

Micah: ………

_To Be Continued_

Next Week: Heroes Continues…..

Nurse (to Noah and Elle, referring to the Haitian): It could be days, weeks……we don't know when he'll get his memory back.

Noah: I see….

Elle (singing): _You saaaved me_….

Noah: _Oh for the love of…Will you shut up about that already!?_

Mohinder's car goes speeding down the highway.

Matt: Go faster!

Mohinder: I'm going as fast as I can!

Matt: Whoa….dude, you're almost out of gas!

Mohinder: Well, I didn't think it would be necessary to _stop at the gas station_.

Matt: Why not? We'll run out.

Mohinder: Stop talking!

Matt: Okay _Niki_….

Mohinder: I heard that!

Hiro (with Fox on the Casino roof): I know what happened……and I know everything about you…..

Fox: Is that so…..?

Claire walks into her bedroom to find Sunny going through her things.

Claire: _What the hell is this?!_

Sunny: …….

Heroes continues…..next week.


	13. Disappearing Acts

The Heroes Parody Project

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 13: Disappearing Acts

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Author's Note: Yes, I did drop the HPP way back in March. Honestly, I just got to the point where I was so burnt out, and I do apologize if I left the people hanging (since there were some major cliffhangers). But looking at all the wonderful reviews as well as some new ideas brewing up in my head; I've decided to keep going, so if you would like to keep reading. Here is the next chapter:

_We start off by the rotation of the world_…..

Mohinder: _Strange_…._isn't it_? _These_…_special abilities_. _This benevolent power inhabited by the most gifted of mankind. People live their lives every day_…._completely unaware. While the rest of them, living beneath the shadows, try to make it_…._one day at a time_.

Woman: Uh….that's nice…..so…_are you going to order or what?_ You're holding up the line!

Man 1: Yeah! What's up with that?

Woman: How uncouth!

Man 2: _I just want my Orange Julius! _

Mohinder: Oh right…..uh, sorry……….ingrates.

He walks away, passing Parkman who is holding a globe…slowly spinning it.

Matt: _Previously on Heroes_…….

A man walks into his bosses' office, approaching his desk.

Man: I have the information that you wanted, Mr. Fox.

The boss turns around in his chair and grabs an envelope pulling out photographs and information on several people.

Mr. Fox: So….there are 7 of them….

Man: 6 now……1 of them perished about a week or so ago….

Mr. Fox tosses aside the picture of Simon 'Cy' Prescott.

Sarah McGregor hangs up the phone and turns around to find the man with the suit closing the door behind him.

Man: Good afternoon.

Sarah: Hello, was there something I could help you with?

Man: We have records that you can move objects with your mind.

Sarah (laughing): Uh….no….that's just absurd.

A fly buzzes near her head and she swats at it, the desk rises through the air, crashing against the wall.

Man: …..

Sarah: I….can't explain that one.

Claire walks into her Biology class and sits next to a girl with long pink hair.

Sunny: HI!

Claire: Uh….hi.

Sunny: I'm sunny!

Claire: That's nice….

Sunny: Let's be total best friends!!

Claire: Excuse me?

Hiro: -Gasp!- Ando! Look what I found!?

Ando: Not another Chinese Prophet I hope…..

Hiro: No….it's the annual 'Fire Dragon Festival'!

Ando: WOW! I have no idea what that is!

Hiro: Every year, people from around Japan compete in this prestigious event. And the winner gets the most valuable prize ever known to man….

Hiro turns around to see….

Hiro: Ugh…..Mieoko….

Ando: Who is that?

Hiro: My Arch-Nemesis!

Ando: You actually have an _arch-nemesis_? I didn't think anybody actually had those….

Hiro and Mieoko are about to start the race.

Mieoko (thinking to himself): _Man, I wish Hiro would just lose so I wouldn't have to deal with him. Come on, Hiro. Drop the race! _

Announcer: On your mark!

Hiro: _I QUIT!_

Announcer: WHAT!?

Mieoko thinks of a new way to control Hiro's mind.

Hiro (flapping his arms like a chicken): _BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!_

Ando buries his face in his hands.

At Isaac's Loft…

Man: Hi…..I was looking for a Mohinder Suresh.

Elle: (Looking at Noah)…..He's _Dr. Suresh_.

Edward: Well…..I think I may have a…..what you would like to call….an 'Extraordinary' ability.

Noah: Go on.

Edward: Okay….watch……

Edward reaches over and grabs a knife, running it down his arm. The wound starts to automatically heal itself, which grabs Noah's attention off the spot.

Noah: That……

Edward: See!? It started happening about a few weeks ago.

Noah: Okay……let's take you somewhere else…..I'll make a phone call.

Jessica: I need some excitement….something….thrilling and dangerous…

Niki: Uh….

Jessica: They just opened the new _Fiesta Del Monaco Casino_ downtown….

Niki: You're off to gamble? Oh, well…don't have too much fun.

Jessica: Oh no….I'm going to do _much more than that_.

Niki realizes she's now Jessica's reflection.

Niki: Oh crap…..(Banging on the mirror) What are you planning to do?!

Jessica: Me?...(She slips on some gloves)…._I'm going to have some fun_…..

Mr. Fox: You are the only one I can trust….my men can't do the job…….

Dale: Don't worry, I'm your man!

Mr. Fox: (Handing him information on Edward). This is where you need to go, where my associate last located him.

Man: You want me to get him and kill everyone else?

Mr. Fox: That would be nice…..

Agent: Mr. Fox….the prisoners have escaped….

Fox (smiling, greeting people): Don't worry about it….

Agent: Huh?

Fox: Dale will be here shortly, he'll get them…..

Agent: 'Dale'?...Wait…..isn't he one of the 7 people who you're having us look for?

Fox: That's right…..

Agent: Um….where did he come from?

Fox: Don't worry about it…..it's not important….just focus on finding the remaining ones…._without getting them killed_……This is your next target….

He hands the agent a paper with the guy's information on it….

Fox: His name is Darren Miller; our records indicate he has the ability _to fly_…

Agent: Oh…uh….okay. I'm on it….

The Agent walks away from Fox and out the door. Fox thinks to himself for a second and returns to the crowd.

Dale fires a shot of Electricity at The Haitian, who flies out the window.

Doctor: It seems like he is suffering from Amnesia….

Elle: _WHAT!?_

Hiro is flipping through Simon Prescott's Journal at the Mansion ruins.

Hiro: Hmm…..(he flips the page and reads one of the book's entries)….

_I have been working on this new serum for my father. But I fear of the consequences that may follow. I want to try to make him proud, but he is not the man he once was. He thinks that having power is a curse, and that my sister has been exiled to a life of secrecy, not knowing of what would happen if the world knew what she, along with other people like her, were capable of doing. He wants to create an 'antidote' for people's abilities, but I don't, I want them to be who they were meant to be, and the public to know that living in a world with them could make it a better place. But in my father's point of view, it could destroy the world. I wish I knew, so I must go against my father's wishes and do what I had originally planned, for I'm afraid that if I'm wrong, I'll be making the biggest mistake of my life_….

Hiro: …..I must find out what really happened?

Ando: I thought you did that already.

Hiro: No, something else….that we are unaware of…..

Ando: Oh…..

Hiro: I must go back in time…

Ando: Oh boy….

Hiro: For your safety, you cannot come along.

Ando: What!?...Well…..I suppose….but don't get yourself killed……and don't take too long either. _The last thing I need is another 'Feudal Japan'_.

With a free hand, Dale pulls out a switchblade knife. Leaning down, slightly pressing it against Elle's neck…

Dale: I'm afraid the game is over, my dear…..

Elle: Oh….not…..good…….

Dale moves in as suddenly everything stops….at the sound of a gunshot.

Elle: !

Dale falls off of Elle and to the side. Stunned, she gets up to find Noah standing at the end of the hallway with his smoking pistol.

Elle: Did you just do what I think you did?...

Noah: Shut up!

Fox, looking at the scene via security camera, is fuming. He gets on the phone….

Agent (on phone): Yes sir?

Fox: Cancel your search for Miller……Dale and all my Agents here are dead.

Agent: _And you want us to come back there!?_

Fox: No…..go to Dr. Suresh's home…..find anything….and take anything you can……I have his address on file……

He looks at Mohinder's Casino Membership Screen……..

The landlord lets Molly and Micah into the apartment.

Molly walks off as Micah hears a car door slam. He walks over to the window and peeks outside, where some Agents are entering the building….

Micah: ………

What will happen to the Heroes…..the answers to these questions lie in a new episode of Heroes _in four months_….(Just kidding….what are you doing with those baseball bats!?...AHH! NO!...oof! ow! Arrgh!...oh my shins….)

_Noah and Elle  
Fiesta Del Monaco Casino  
Come on slots, don't fail me now…YAY! 3 cherries!_..._I won_….._some cherries!?_ _What a rip-off!_

Noah and Elle run back up to the main floor of the casino, looking around.

Noah: Where do you think they could've taken him?

Elle: Dunno. My tracker system doesn't work anymore….piece of crap.

Noah spots Thomas Fox on the second floor dragging Edward with him.

Noah: Up there!

Elle: I'll get him, boss!

She takes off her shoe and chunks it, missing by a long shot.

Guy (at Blackjack table): Okay…..hit me.

Elle's shoe bonks him in the head. _THWAP!_

Elle: Damn! So close…..

Noah: No you weren't! It didn't even get anywhere near him.

Elle: I have _one more shoe_….

Noah: Forget it, come on.

Elle (wobbling left and right): Oh crap, why did I do that?

The two of them charge up the stairs, he spots Fox and Edward enter a room.

Noah: We got them.

Noah pulls out his gun and loads it as Elle finally catches up.

Noah: Here we go!

Noah attempts to kick the door in….only knocking in a hole getting stuck. Fox spins around to see a leg dangling on the inside of the room.

Fox: What the hell?!

Elle (to Noah): Well…._that wasn't very bright._

Noah:Oh, shut up. Here, open the door and get in there.

Elle: Yeah, _if we're lucky he won't notice us._ (Rolls eyes)

Noah: Just get in there!

Elle opens the door as Noah hops along to move out of the way. Elle gasps from shock.

Elle: Gasp! I'm shocked!

Noah: -Sigh- What is it?

Elle: He's……

The camera zooms in for a dramatic close up…bonking Elle in the face. _WHAP!_

Elle: OW!

Noah: What is it?!

Elle: He's gone!

Noah: Gone?!

He falls out of the hole in the door and jumps into the room. Nothing there but an open window…..They both look outside….

Elle: They're both gone….that…..that….

Noah: ……sucks.

_Micah and Molly  
Mohinder's Apartment  
Let's see what soap these people use_…._Zest!?_ _I prefer Irish Spring myself_……

Someone is pounding on the door.

Molly: Ahh! Who is that?!

Micah: I don't know….They sound angry.

Molly: What should we do…..(She stops and thinks for a second)…..Mohinder and the others aren't anywhere near here.

Micah: I….uh…..

Molly: Can you do something….like…..tell them to go away….

Micah: No…._unless they're robots_.

Molly screams at the sound of a leg crashing through the door.

Agent: What's with these cheap wooden doors?!

Agent 2: I know…._the casino is full of them_.

Micah: We need to get out of here!

The two kids run to the window and open it.

Micah: It's a bit of a drop…..and we'll land in a dumpster.

Molly: Gross!

Micah: We don't have a choice….

He leans out the window and looks around. The two agents bust down the door while Molly keeps screaming.

Micah (losing his balance): Whoa….ahhhhhhh!

He falls out the window and into the dumpster below. _SQUISH!_

Micah: Ugh….this _is _gross...huh…..Molly?...

He looks up and doesn't see Molly jumping.

Micah: Oh man……

_Peter Petrelli  
Angela Petrelli's Castle Estate  
This lawn really needs to be mowed_.

Peter arrives in front of the castle, where there are a ton of U-Haul Trucks, and people moving out furniture.

Peter: Mom….what's going on here?! You're moving….

Mover: Dude! I'm not your mother….do I look like her or something?

Peter: Sorry….must have been the _John Cena_ t-shirt, she has one just like it.

Mover: Ooookay.

Peter walks on and runs into Nathan and Angela Petrelli.

Angela: Oh good, Peter, you're here.

Peter: I didn't know you were moving.

Angela: This castle is a bit too much for my tastes, I'll be moving to France.

Peter: France? Isn't that like….far away?

Angela: Yes…..but after everything that's been going on, I thought it would be for the best.

Nathan: We've already come to the conclusion that that whole lawsuit debacle was a complete and total waste of everybody's time.

Angela: Yes, well. Now we can look back on it and laugh…….

Nathan: ….

Peter: …..

Angela: …..Ha, Ha, Ha!

Nathan: That was a _really fake laugh_.

Angela: Don't sass me, young man…..(She starts to walk off)……You're grounded!

Peter (teasing): _You got in trouble!_

Nathan: Oh, real mature, Pete…..

Angela: Hey! That man has my _John Cena T-Shirt! _Give that back, you brute.

She charges forward and tackles the guy. _THWOMP!_

Nathan: Damn…..didn't know she was _that strong_.

Peter (lifts up his shirt, revealing another shirt): Yeah, probably should have told her I borrowed her shirt a long time ago.

Nathan: -Sigh-……

_Claire Bennet  
The Bennet Home  
The Bennet Living Room_

Claire (returning home from school): School is finally out!

Lyle: It feels strange, we started at like….a week before the end of the last semester.

Claire: Yeah…..somehow it felt like it was longer. Well, it's summer time. No more high school, no more F-Minuses, and especially no more of that irritating _Sunny_.

Sandra (poking her head in): Did you say 'Sunny'?

Claire: Yes……..(Suspicious)…..Why?

Sandra: She came by the house looking for you.

Claire: _You told her I died, right?!_ Please tell me you told her that or something relatively close.

Sandra: No, she wanted to play….

Claire: We're seniors……...not even that anymore. _Who comes over to play?!_

Sandra: I'm sure she's just lonely.

Claire: I'm sure she's just crazy.

Sandra: Well, Anyhoo….I let her come in...

Claire: WHAT!?

Sandra: And she's staying for dinner….

Claire: _DOUBLE WHAT!?_

Sandra: In fact she's in your room right now.

Claire: GAK!

Claire hops out of her seat and charges up the stairs. The door to her room is cracked open.

Claire: Ooooh…..that is it……..I'm about to give her a piece of my mind…….

She grabs a nearby issue of _Mad Magazine_ and rolls it up, most likely to give her a good thwapin.

Claire busts through the door (fortunately not having to kick it in, since that hasn't been working out for anybody lately). She sees….

Claire: ….Su…..Sunny?

Sunny turns around……._In a blonde wig_……._and Claire's Cheerleader outfit_…….

Sunny: Oh…..hi Claire! Isn't it great!..._I'm you!_

Claire (shocked): I……I………I……._Aye Carumba_…..

_--As the world rotates it's pretty self_………_Heroes!_--

_Claire Bennet  
Claire's Bedroom  
Realizing she just landed herself in a scene in 'Single White Female'_.

Claire slowly closes the door to her room; she walks past a poster that reads:

_CHAPTER 13: DISAPPEARING ACTS_

Claire: Sunny……

Sunny: Yes, super best friend forever!?

Claire: _What the Flock Of Seagulls are you doing in my room!?_ Better yet, why are you dressed like me?!...It's just weird…..and I won't have any of it.

Sunny: Don't you see Claire……you…….are perfect.

Claire: Okay, I'm officially creeped.

Sunny: This school year……we've known each other for a while……

Claire: It's only been a few weeks, but whatever.

Sunny: I come to realize…..that I'm not perfect……but then again…..as humans, we all have imperfections.

Claire: Get to the point!

Sunny: I want to be like you……cause…..I know you're special. You're smart…..

Claire flashbacks to Mr. Graham giving her a million F-Minuses.

Sunny: Athletic……

She flashbacks to getting whapped in the face by a million dodge balls.

Sunny: No matter what happens to you……you can get right back up again……It's almost like……you're indestructible.

Claire starts to feel a knot form in her throat.

Claire: I'm…..indestructible….?

Sunny: Yeah, Claire…..and…..I want to be……just…..like…..you……Tee Hee! (She twirls her fake hair)

Claire: Freaking out now!

She turns and runs for it, slamming the door behind her.

Claire: Can't I go one week without something weird and stupid happening. We'll least I have a minute to think before….

Sandra (yelling): _SUPPER'S READY! _Sunny, I cooked your favorite!

Sunny (from inside Claire's room): YAY! Brussel Sprouts!

Claire: Oh yuck…….

_Noah and Elle  
On The Road Again  
Man, these gas prices are the worst._

Noah and Elle go zooming by, in the car that is.

Elle: How do you think he got away?

Noah: Don't know.

Elle: So, what do we do now?

Noah: We're going to visit an old friend….

Elle: Oh no….that wouldn't be a good idea. He's still mad at me from last time….

-FLASHBACK-

Elle: _Come on Charlie Brown, you blockhead! Kick the football!_

Charlie: No, Elle! You'll just pull it away from me!

Elle: Well, yeah, but you'll just come and kick it again because I tell you too.

Charlie: Fine, but this is the last time.

Elle: Sure, sure….whatever.

Charlie makes a run for it, Elle swoops up the football.

Charlie: ARRRGH!

Pigpen: Oh my god! I think he broke something!

Elle: Seriously dude, it's called a bath…..take one…..That's just offensive! (She holds her nose)

-END-

Noah: I'm sorry, where you saying something?

Elle: Uh, duh! I was telling you about the guy who hates my guts.

Noah: I was talking about The Haitian, you dunce! He's in the hospital, remember?

Elle: Really, man, it felt like months since that has happened. Am I right folks?!

Noah: What have I told you about _breaking the fourth wall?_

Elle: Sorry…..

_Mohinder, Parkman, and Niki  
At Mohinder's Apartment  
I'm sure nothing bad is happening._

Matt: Well, I'm glad that's over…..We almost got killed.

Niki: I don't even want to think about it, I just want to take a nap and put this whole horrible mess behind us.

Mohinder: I think I'm going to have to agree with you.

Micah comes running from behind the building covered in trash.

Niki: Micah?! What are you doing here?

Micah: I came home early, and Molly was here. The landlord let us in and these guys showed up in these suits.

Mohinder: Where's Molly?

Micah: Well, we tried to escape, but I was the only one who could get away. They must have taken her, we have to help Molly!

Niki (to Parkman and Mohinder): I'll leave this to you two. _The last time I had to do something like this it didn't turn out so well_.

Mohinder: Yes, of course. You two stay here, but….I wouldn't even know where to look.

Matt: I got it!

Niki: That's never good.

Matt: We…..could…..use……

Niki: ……

Matt: Someone…..

Niki: ……

Matt: That we know…..

Mohinder: Well, get on with it, man……

Matt: ……Peter.

Mohinder: Oh right……

Niki: Well, I'll be damned; you actually came up with a good idea.

Matt: I'll accept your praises…….now.

Mohinder and Niki walk off.

Matt: Or later…..whatever works.

Noah and Elle enter the hospital where the Haitian is recovering and where Elle had her _poppy seed incident_.

Elle: -Shudder-

Noah (at the front desk): I need the room where The Haitian is in.

Clerk: What's his name?

Noah: Uh……_The Haitian_.

Clerk: No…..his actual name.

Noah: ……The…….Haitian.

Clerk: Ugh…..

Elle: I can answer that….. it's….

Noah (pinching her lips shut): _If you say that he's 'Seal' and you're 'Heidi Klum'_, I'll….….._I'll scream_.

Elle: mmmpmphm!

Clerk: Oh goodness! _You're Heidi Klum?!_ I love you! Right this way…..

Noah: What!? She suddenly knows who we're talking about…?

Elle: M mphphhh mrr (I told you so….)

Noah: Quiet you!

They follow the clerk to The Haitian's room….

Clerk: If it's not a problem, can you get him to sing '_Kiss From A Rose'_ I just love that song….

Noah slams the door in her face. _WHAP!_

Elle: Ah, this room brings back memories.

Doctor: Oh, Ms. Bishop, back again I see…..

Noah: _This was your room!?_

Elle: Yeah, I shared a room with the Haitian when I was going through my….'issues'.

Noah: _That would've have been great to know a long time ago!_

Elle: Meh…..

Noah: Whatever.

The two of them approach the Haitian, who is still in his bed.

Doctor: He has been making progress.

Noah: Okay, good. Could you give us a moment?

Doctor: Of course. (He leaves)

Haitian: Who are you people?

Noah: I'm your boss, just ignore this woman here.

Elle: HEY!

The Haitian hops out of his bed and grabs a chair.

Elle (shaking her hands): AHHHH! A chair!

Noah: I think you know what to do…..

Elle (dropping to her knees): Please! Spare our lives! I'm too young and pretty to be hit with a chair!

Noah (sighing): Zap him…..

Elle: Oh right…..

The Haitian grabs a knife and holds Noah hostage.

Haitian: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Elle: Hmm….

The Haitian drops the knife. Noah and Elle look confused.

Haitian: Oh…..what's going on?

Noah: …….

Haitian (to Elle): I see you're standing here doing nothing.

Elle: Um…..thanks…..I guess…..

Haitian: Enough of this, we have to get out of here.

Elle: YAY! He's back to normal….

Haitian: _I need to get back home to my wife._

Noah: Excuse me?

Haitian: She must be so worried….

He runs out of the room.

Noah: I'm lost.

Elle: That makes two of us…..

Haitian (peeking his head back in): Can one of you drive me home?

Noah: No! We have work to do.

Elle: I can!

Noah: What?!

Elle: Let him see his wife, you heartless man, you!

Noah: He doesn't have a wife……or at least I don't think he does.

Elle: We'll drive you home.

Haitian: Thank you……

Noah: Fine, but don't forget we still need to find Edward.

Elle: Okay, okay………(In a whiny voice)…._Don't forget we still need to find Edward_….

Noah: I heard that!

Meanwhile, in their moving car.

Matt: Ah, memories….

Mohinder: What are you talking about, Parkman?

Matt: I remember our last road trip like this. Molly was kidnapped again, and we were chasing after that train.

Mohinder: I kinda wanted to forget that. It wasn't a very pleasant experience.

Matt: Now all we need to do is find Peter Petrelli, then he can give us the location of Molly.

Mohinder: If he can do that, his powers are still kinda….not to their full potential yet.

Matt: Yeah, then we can go after Thomas Fox and his thugs.

Mohinder: Yes, I'm thinking those where most likely his agents that took Molly.

Matt: How would they know our address?

Mohinder: Uh…..I wouldn't have any idea.

Matt: I hate those agents of his….they're so dumb……I mean, _look at them try to aim that stupid shotgun at us_.

A loud blast is heard as Mohinder's windshield shatters into a million pieces.

Matt & Mohinder: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

He slams on the breaks.

Matt: What are you doing? That's them….I think.

Mohinder: I'm not chasing after them, we'll be killed! We don't have any guns or anything…..

Matt: Don't be such a sissy! _We're men!...Manly men_!...Nothing can bring us down, or get in our way! We laugh in the face of pain!

He turns around and bangs his elbow on the door handle.

Matt: OW!...oooh……._I have a boo-boo_……-sniff-

Mohinder: Oh brother……

Back at the Bennet home…..

Sandra: So….I hope you all like Brussel Sprouts.

Sunny: I do!

Claire: I don't.

Lyle: Claire, why does your friend look like you…..it's creepy.

Claire: She's not my friend.

Sunny: Don't be silly……I know all….._about your secret_.

Claire: What?

Sunny: About how _we're super best friends_!! YAY!

Claire: I'm now convinced there's not one single thing I like about you.

Sunny: Oh, this is delicious, Mrs. Flintstone. You cook like a pro!

Claire (to herself): Flintstone?!...oh right….forgot about that.

Sandra: Oh, don't thank me……_thank Mr. Muggles_!

Sunny: Oh…….is that Mr. Muggles?...Hmm…..strange….

Claire (thought): HA!...She says one negative thing about the family dog and mom will rip her face off…..ooooh! This will be great!

Sunny: _…it's super cute!_

Sandra: Really!? You're so smart Sunny!

Sunny: I know.

Claire: Ugh….I'm going to lose the dinner I never bothered to eat yet.

Sandra: You know, Sunny. I just love how you're so positive and upbeat about everything. How do remain to keep in such….high spirits.

Sunny: Well, it's not easy…..but we all have had tough times…….we've all _walked through fire and never got burned_…..at least I know Claire has……

Lyle (looking at Claire): That's……weird……

Sandra: …..ah……how….inspirational….I think.

Claire: THAT DOES IT!...

Claire hops out of her seat, knocking her glass to the floor.

Claire: I don't know what you're problem is, or who you are, or whatever. But you don't know me….I'm sure as hell not your friend, and you need to get out now……

Sunny: But why?

Claire: Because…….Because…..You're a freakin nut job!...You're just weird! I want you to get out!...

Sunny: Very well……I get it………

She slowly gets up and starts to walk out of the door.

Claire: Well, that went good. I don't need any more craziness……

The Haitian walks into the kitchen.

Haitian: My darling family!

Claire: …..

Lyle: …..

Sandra: ……..

Mr. Muggles: ……

He walks over and plants a kiss right on Sandra.

Claire: WHAT THE!?

Noah and Elle run in. Elle shoots Sunny a look while she's walking out but shakes her head.

Noah: Uh oh……

Haitian: How is my beautiful wife?

Elle: WIFE!?

Claire: I feel ill…..

Lyle: Is this the part where we start shouting '_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!'?_

Sandra: I'm confused…..

Noah: Nobody freak out….I know what's going on……I think.

Claire: I'm going to my room, I'm never coming out.

She storms off.

Meanwhile, Thomas Fox leads Edward to a car and pushes him into the back seat. Fox takes control of the vehicle and peels out of a parking lot.

Edward: What do you want with me?

Fox: You'll find out….soon enough.

Edward: ……

Fox grins while continuing to drive down the road. He suddenly slams on his breaks to find Hiro standing in the road in front of him.

Fox: What the?

Hiro (with his sword drawn) strafes to the driver's side of the car. Fox chuckles to himself and gets out.

Fox: Can I help you with something, strange man?

Hiro: Thomas Fox. I have come to stop you.

Fox: Stop me, huh?...From doing what?

Hiro: I've done my homework……and I know everything about you.

Fox: Is that so…..

Hiro: You are a very bad man, Mr. Fox………

Edward looks at Fox as he glares at Hiro with a devilish grin.

Meanwhile, Peter arrives at Mohinder's apartment, since he thinks he lives there now. He gets a call from Nathan.

Peter (answering): Nate! How's it going?

Nathan: Not so good, Pete. You need to get down here, pronto.

Peter: What is it?

Nathan: It's Sarah……she's dead.

Peter: Who?

Nathan: Sarah McGregor…….you saved her life, she was the prosecuting attorney…

Peter: Oh yeah, _2 episodes ago_…..

Nathan (rolls eyes): Pete, try to remain a little realistic.

Peter: You're right, brother. I'll be there, because….._we're heroes_, and that's just what we do…..

The studio audience claps. _CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!_

Audience Member: _You go, girl!_

Nathan: _JUST GET DOWN HERE!_ (Hangs up)

Peter: Yeesh! Allright already.

Meanwhile, back at The Bennet's.

Noah: We'll after careful consideration, I'm pretty sure it's not really amnesia that he has.

Sandra: I don't get why you are telling us this.

Lyle: Yeah, all we do is sit around here talking about friggin _Mr. Muggles!_

Noah: You're not curious as to why the Haitian thinks you're all his family and just practically made out with you…..

Sandra: I just thought he was being nice….

Noah: Whatever, fine! I'll talk to my associate.

Noah turns to Elle, _who is having a conversation of her own with the Serta talking sheep_.

Noah: WHAT?!

Sheep 1: But Elle, why are you changing to a new mattress, baaaaa. Don't you love us anymore?

Elle: Of course I do! But…..-sniff-…..things change……people change….._don't you understand?!_

Sheep 45: But without you counting us…..we'll be out of jobs!

Sheep 33: I have a wife and kids!

Sheep 72: I'm still in college!

Sheep 52: I don't want to go back to work at _Arby's_.

Elle: Don't worry, I still think about you. In fact, without you I wouldn't have been able to get this new sweater.

She shows off a new puffy _sheep's wool sweater_.

Elle: Isn't it just the coolest!?

The sheep jaws drop in shock..

Sheep 8: _HOW BARBARIC!_

Sheep: 11: Let's get her!

The sheep tackle Elle. _RUMBLE! RUMBLE! RUMBLE!_

Elle: EEEEEEK!

Noah: Ugh…..

Noah reaches for the phone.

Mohinder is driving their windshield shattered car, he answers his phone.

Mohinder: Hello?

Noah: Mohinder…….it's Bennet.

Mohinder: Hello, Claire! I heard you just got out of school, congratulations.

Noah: Dammit, Mohinder! It's Noah…._do I sound like Claire to you?!_

Mohinder: Sometimes.

Noah: I need you to get over here and check something out.

Mohinder: I'd love to, but we're in a pickle. Molly has just been kidnapped by who we think are Thomas Fox's henchmen.

Noah: Fox, huh……..Come by here. We should talk.

Mohinder: _Don't you live in Pennsylvania?_

Noah: Oh right…..fine, we'll meet you halfway.

Mohinder: We really shouldn't. Molly's life is in danger.

Noah: Fox's men are brutal….sort of. Going after them will only get yourselves killed. I'm assuming Parkman is with you….

Mohinder: He is.

Noah: He can't control all their minds and you can't put everyone to sleep with your monologues.

Mohinder: _Don't mock my monologues_…..They're the main foundation on which everything…..

Noah: Whatever. Just get down here. We're running out of time.

Mohinder: Okay…..I hope you're right. (He hangs up, turning the car around)

Matt: We're driving the opposite direction? Don't we have to get Molly?

Mohinder: We're going to pick up Bennet.

Matt: Claire? I heard she just got out of school, how is she doing?

Mohinder: No…..Noah.

Matt: …..Dramatic Pause……

Mohinder rolls his eyes.

Back at the Bennet's later that night…..

Sandra (reading a story): And the 3 bears lived happily ever after, _especially after they had Goldilocks arrested for breaking and entering_. She's now doing hard time in the big house. The end!

Claire: Um….thanks for the story, mom…..it was……intense. Can you let me sleep now…..

Sandra: Okay. Good night Claire. And good job finishing school, I can't wait for your Graduation ceremony coming up.

Claire: Yeah, I'm sure it'll be just great.

Sandra: Yeah, It's not like anything bad is going to happen.

Claire: Well, thanks for jinxing it, mom. Good night.

Sandra: Sweet dreams, honey….._try not to get killed by any psychotic classmates_…..

Claire: Okay, that was a little much…..

Sandra closes the door to reveal none other than _Sunny_ standing behind it, holding a knife.

Claire: Oh crap! _WHY WON'T YOU GO AWAY!?_

Sunny: I've decided to end this…….it's something that has been bugging me for a while now.

Claire: Stay back. I just watched got through watching _Kung Fu Panda_….and…..

Sunny draws her knife.

Claire: You left me no choice.

Claire balances on one foot, reading her kung fu position. She pulls out her cell phone and lobs it at Sunny's head. _THWAP!_

Sunny: Ow!

Claire attempts to escape out the window, Sunny pulls her back, jabbing her in the side with the knife.

Claire: ERRK!

While having her pinned to the wall, Sunny lifts up the side of Claire' shirt to find the wound heal on its own…..

Sunny: Just as I thought.

Claire: Oh yeah, well……you won't get away with this.

With a free hand Claire holds up a _wind chime_……

Claire: Jingle! Jingle!...Hello……need some memory wiping services here!..._HELLO!?_

Sunny: That's a neat trick, Claire…….wish I would've gotten that….

Claire: ….Gotten it……? What are you talking about?

Sunny: Puh-lease…..Claire….I know _you're one of the 7_.

Claire: Seven? What the hell are you talking about?

Sunny: That night a few weeks ago, 7 individuals gained super powers after an incident at some scientist's house. You got one of those powers…..

Claire: A few weeks ago…..well, since you already know there's no point hiding it…..I've had this my entire life….

Sunny: You mean….you aren't…..one of them.

Claire: No…..you nut case!

Sunny: There's more…..than 8.

Claire: Um……

Sunny: Unbelievable.

Claire: Sorry to ruin your hopes and dreams. _Thanks for playing_. Leave now!

Claire thinks for a moment.

Claire (thought): Oh crap, she knows what I can do. She can't leave!

Claire: Did I say 'leave'. I meant stay.

Sandra (outside): Claire, are you all right?

Claire: Yeah!

Sandra opens the door to her room; Claire looks over at Sunny….._who fades away_.

Claire (shocked): GAH!?

Sandra: Is something wrong? I thought I heard a voice.

Claire: No mom, it was nothing…..probably just Mr. Muggles.

Sandra: Oh Claire, don't be silly….Mr. Muggles is brushing his teeth, getting ready for bed.

Claire: Oh…..right…….of course…….

Claire sits back down in her bed looking out her window, _which was left open_…..

Claire: Oh man…..this is bad……

Peter arrives at the scene of the crime, in front of Sarah McGregor's law office. Nathan is standing outside surrounded by police, ambulance, and CSI. (No they're not in here, this isn't a cross over!)

Peter: What happened, give it to me straight, brother.

Nathan: Well….

Peter: Be positive about it.

Nathan: Positive?! The woman died for crying out loud.

Peter: But….we, you know….kinda have a history. I don't want to think about this being a tragedy.

Nathan: Oh, some history, when I first told you, you had no idea who I was talking about!

Peter: I mean….there's no reason we need to be bogged down with sadness….so make it…..a little positive. You know what I'm saying.

Nathan: Fine!...Um……Sarah was just coming back from……_The Teddy Bear_….picnic……

Peter: That's more like it.

Nathan: She wanted to get a snow cone…..

Peter: I like snow cones…..

Nathan: She was walking over to the snow cone stand….

Peter: This is a happy story….I'm diggin it…..

Nathan: Until she fell on the ground….._and the top of her head came off_.

Peter: Hmm…..Well that doesn't sound like a happy….._Holy crap, It's Sylar! We're all going to die!_

Nathan: Peter! Get a hold of yourself!

Peter turns around and slaps the snow cone vendor.

Vendor: OW! What the hell did you do that for!?

Peter: Sorry.

Nathan: Now….there's no reason to think its Sylar. He disappeared a while ago.

Peter: A woman with a special ability is dead! And the top of her head is gone! It's gotta be him!

Nathan: _Try saying that a little louder, Peter. I don't think France heard you loud enough!_

Peter: _I SAID "THERE IS A WOMAN WITH A…"_

Nathan clamps his hand over Peter's mouth.

Nathan: Okay, it probably is him. But you are getting your powers back….I think you might be stronger than you might think.

Peter: Well, you're right……I did do pretty good when I faced off against that one woman.

-FLASHBACK-

Peter is standing off in a one on one epic battle with _Sabrina, The Teenage Witch_.

Peter: So, you think you got what it takes to beat me?

Sabrina: Bring it…..amateur!

Peter: Oh it's on!

Sabrina waves her hands and summons a Cauldron filled with Candy Corn.

Sabrina: Take that!

Peter waves his hands…..nothing happens.

Sabrina: HA!

Suddenly, a house falls from out of nowhere and lands on Sabrina. _WHAMP!_ All that is sticking out are her legs…..which roll up.

Peter: Uh…..How do you like them apples……oh yeah……_you just got served_.

Munchkins: She's dead! The wicked witch is dead!

Munchkins (singing): _Ding! Dong! The Witch is dead! The Witch is dead!_

-END-

Nathan: ……

Peter: And that's the story of my summer vacation.

Nathan: Why do you talk?

Peter: Uh…..

They turn their attention back on Sarah's body.

Peter: Anyway…..if this was Sylar's doing…..and he's back……we better be prepared……..for this will be our final battle……

Nathan: Yes.

Peter: Unless he runs away, loses his powers, somehow manages to get them back, and returns again……

Nathan: ……Riiiight. Well we need to get ready.

Peter: Yes……._I'll be at Baskin Robbins_.

He pats Nathan on the shoulder and teleports away. Nathan shakes his head and walks off.

_To be continued_.

The next chapter will be up very soon (I promise it won't take 4 months).


	14. Secrets And Lies

The Heroes Parody Project

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 14: Secrets And Lies

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Peter: _Previously on Heroes_…..

Noah and Elle run up the stairs, chasing after Thomas Fox. Elle bursts through the door.

Elle: He's gone…..

Edward (in the car with Fox): What do you want with me?

Fox: You'll find out soon enough.

He slams on the breaks in his car to find Hiro standing in front of the vehicle in the middle of the road.

Hiro: Thomas Fox….you are a bad man…..and I have come to stop you.

Fox: Is that so.

Niki, Matt, and Mohinder get back from the casino.

Micah: Molly got kidnapped by some guys….we have to help her.

Matt: We can try to find Peter, since he's the only other person who could track down people….

Noah and Elle enter the hospital; they walk into the Haitian's room.

Doctor: He's been making progress, but his memory hasn't returned yet.

The Haitian hops out of bed and grabs Noah in a headlock, he suddenly changes his attitude.

Haitian: Why am I here? I need to get home…..to see my wife…

Elle: Wife?

Noah: What!?

Claire walks in her house.

Sandra: I invited your friend Sunny to stay for dinner.

Claire: WHAT!?

Sunny: I always wanted to be like you Claire……you're…..indestructible.

Claire: Indestructible?

Sunny: There's something that's been bugging me…..

She grabs Claire and punctures her with a knife, which the wound heals.

Sunny: You're one…..of the 7.

Claire: Uh….no I'm not.

Sandra enters the room as Sunny fades away.

Claire: What the?

Noah, The Haitian, and Elle enter the dining room.

Haitian: My family! It's so good to see you.

Claire and Lyle look at each other.

The Haitian walks over and kisses Sandra.

Claire: What is going on?

Noah (on the phone with Mohinder): I could use your help.

Mohinder: Well, we're in a bind of our own…..

Nathan (on the phone with Peter): Peter, I need you to get here. You should see this….

Peter shows up to find Sarah McGregor killed _Sylar-Style_.

Peter: If he's returned……we better be ready……

_Noah, Elle, and The Haitian_…..and a_ chair, the waitress, cashier, random people, air-hockey table, shady looking figure in the corner, hey look a penny!, ooooh, is that_….

Noah: _GET ON WITH IT!_

_The Greasy Spoon Restaurant and Grill, Pub, Gas Station, Floral Shop, Truck Stop, Car Wash_….._they serve a bacon cheeseburger that is out of this world. Oh, and the milkshakes! Don't get me started on the milkshakes_…

Noah: Oh, forget it…..

Elle: I don't get it. Why is he like all….thinking he's you? Is that a part of the amnesia or something?

Noah: Don't think so. (To the Haitian, who is sitting next to Elle in the booth). What is your name?

Haitian: Um….I….don't know.

Elle: Oh great! He's blank again!

The Haitian brushes up against Elle.

Haitian: Did you say something?

Noah: Uh….your name?

Haitian: I'm Elle Bishop! I'm bubbly _and super cute!_

Elle: _YOU WISH PAL!_ That's my line!

Noah: I'm thinking….whenever he comes in contact with someone….he….temporarily possesses their….memories, names, personality, and so on.

Elle: Oh, I get it. Instead of just wiping them…

Noah: Right.

Elle: Hmm….Interesting…..Well, I guess we don't need Mohinder to come down here and figure this one out. Good job pointing that out, Mr. B! You're a lot smarter than you look!

Noah (rolls eyes): Gee thanks….

The waitress comes up to the booth.

Noah: We'll still wait for Suresh; he might possibly shed some light on this. And besides we might have to work together to take down Fox….and find Edward.

Waitress: Allright, what can I get you to drink?

Noah: Water.

Haitian: Water with lemon!

Elle: Water with lemon with 7 ice cubes and a straw cut ¾ of an inch off the top. Thanks!

Waitress: Water. Water. _Root Beer_. Got it….(She walks away)

Elle: HEY! _Ooooooh, so rude!_

_Samantha 'Sunny' Evans  
555 Acorn Avenue  
Formerly: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends_

Footprints start to form in a pattern up to the front door which suddenly swings open. Muddy footprints appear one by one….up the stairs….down the hall into the bedroom of…..

Sunny: AHH! It's good to be home….what a day! I'm glad I used my new super sneaky power so nobody knew I was gone!

Downstairs Voice: _Where did all these muddy footprints come from?!_

Sunny (looking at a picture of Claire on her drawer): Oooh, that Claire makes me so mad! She thinks she's so special…..well, I'll get her back someday.

Sunny's mean best friend, _Gretchen Wieners, _sits down next to her.

Gretchen: I have an idea Sunny! Like, you can try to sabotage her at the Graduation Ceremony!

Sunny: Hmm…..that's a pretty good idea. But where do I begin? I know! I can expose you in front of the entire Graduation Ceremony…I love it! You're sooo going down, _Claire Flintstone!_

Gretchen: Even better, her last name isn't even that!

Sunny: What?!

Gretchen: I had a friend break into her locker, and he found _this_.

Sunny opens up what turns out to be a picture of Claire and Ronald McDonald.

_To Claire Bennet,_

_Thanks for being such a great friend! Keep clogging those arteries! _

_Signed,_

_Ronald McDonald XOXO_

_P.S. Say hello to Mr. Muggles for me!_

Sunny: _Who the hell is Mr. Muggles_?!...Though I can't help but to think I've heard that name before.

Gretchen: It's her drug dealer, I'm sure of it!

Sunny: And what evidence are you basing this newfound fact?

Gretchen: _Absolutely Nothing!_

Sunny: PERFECT!

Gretchen: Now, I know you hate Claire….so go ahead….and let it all out.

She hands sunny a giant pink book with the words _The Burn Book_ listed on the cover. Sunny opens up to a new passage and pastes Claire's photo in there. Writing…

_Claire Flintstone, or better yet Bennet! Is the meanest girl in school. She mocked me being a vegetarian, made fun of my science project, and stole my boyfriend!_

Gretchen: Did she really?

Sunny: No, he's dead. But why not spice it up a bit?

Gretchen: Oooh, good….good…..

_Parkman and Suresh  
Driving down the road  
Listening to some good ol' music_….._oh boy! It's an amazing 80's weekend on 104.5 KLOVE!_ _(singing) I just raaaan, I ran so far awaaaay, couldn't get away_…..

Matt: ……

Mohinder: ……

Matt: ……

Mohinder: ……..(Checks the rear view mirror)

Matt: Something has been bugging me…..big time.

Mohinder (slightly panicked): W….what is it?

Matt: Okay….now…..call me stupid, but….

Mohinder: Okay, stupid.

Matt: _I WASN'T FINISHED TALKING!!_

Mohinder: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Finish, please.

Matt: But the first time Molly was kidnapped, we almost got ourselves killed. I don't understand why we are going to help Bennet and The Haitian….._You do remember how I was abducted by them once_! It wasn't very fun….you remember me telling you that?

Mohinder: Yes, Matt. You remind me every day….

Matt: It's just a little too suspicious if you ask me. Because….

Mohinder: What?

Matt: Nothing.

Mohinder: Nothing!? What were you going to say?

Matt: It's not important.

Mohinder: Just say it!

Matt: _I just can't believe you would put Molly's life in danger that's all_.

Mohinder slams on the breaks.

Mohinder: _WHAT?!_ Are….are you joking? You have got some nerve!

Matt: What do you mean?

Mohinder: _YOU!_ You of all people should talk….

Matt: Uh….I'm not making the connection here.

Mohinder: Okay, if I have to remind you of the other day…..

-FLASHBACK-

Matt: Damn! It's stuck….hmm…..Hey, Molly!

Molly trots out of the bed room and to the kitchen table.

Matt: Hey, Molly, I could really use some little hands right now……_can you reach inside this toaster_?

Molly: Isn't that dangerous?

Matt: Of course not! It's not plugged in…..(Or at least I don't think it is)

Molly: Fine…..(She sticks her hand in)….What's down here anyway?

Matt: _I dropped my fork trying to fish out my waffle_.

Molly: YOU WHAT!?

_ZZZAAAAAP!!_

-FIN-

Mohinder: You remember that, don't you?

Matt: Yes, _you remind me every day._

Mohinder: Actually Parkman….I……..I haven't been totally honest with you.

Matt: What do you mean?

Mohinder: Those men………_They don't work for Thomas Fox_.

Matt: Wha…….How?...What do you mean? Who do they work for?!

Mohinder: I've……already said too much……._and that means you know too much_.

Mohinder pulls a gun from his side pocket and points it at Matt's face.

Matt: EEP!

A car pulls up to the airport. One of the men in the backseat exits the vehicle holding Molly.

Molly: Let me go…..ahhhh!

They shuffle her up to the entrance to the terminal, to be greeted by _Angela Petrelli_.

Man: Mrs. Petrelli, we got the target.

Angela: Excellent. You are dismissed.

The men walks off, Angela kneels down to Molly's level.

Angela: How would you like to go on a little trip?

Molly: ………

--Spinning the world! Spinning…spinning...spinning…starting to get dizzy….ugh….I don't feel so good……Heroes_!_--

We pan down a lonely road, right in the middle of the street it reads:

_CHAPTER 14: SECRETS AND LIES_

A car comes zooming down the road.

Rhonda: Oh Jeffrey, how I love our afternoon drives through the countryside!

Jeffrey: As do I, my darling!

Rhonda: _AHH! Watch out!_ Those look like…._letters!_

Jeffrey dodges it just in time, the car flying into a nearby ditch.

Meanwhile, back to a scene that's actually related to the plot. Matt is sitting face to face with Mohinder, who has a gun pointed at his face.

Matt: What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Mohinder: Something I should've done a long time ago!

Matt: _Don't shoot!_..._I'm pregnant!_

Mohinder: _WHAT?!_

Matt: Well….it worked last week during Paintball.

Mohinder: Oh, enough of this.

Mohinder pulls the trigger….._squirting water in Matt's face_.

Matt: FLEH! What the?!

He wipes his face off as Mohinder buckles over in laughter.

Matt: Have you just gone insane?!

Mohinder: HA...ha….he…he……whew!...I'm sorry….that was a bit over dramatic wasn't it?

Matt: _A BIT!?_ That's so not cool!

Mohinder: Oh, don't be such a fuddy duddy! I only did it because you called me a sissy back there.

Matt: Oh….so you were just playing a joke…..it was all a lie.

Mohinder: No, the gun was a joke. Everything else is the truth.

Matt: Oh, good……….Wait…..so, what's the deal with Fox's men?

Mohinder: Like I said….they don't work for him.

Matt: Who do they work for?

Mohinder: I….can't tell you.

Matt: You must be joking. You tell me '_Gee, Matt, I haven't been honest to you'_, and point a gun in my face….

Mohinder: It was a water pistol……_yours to be exact_. Hell, if you would've read my mind eons ago you wouldn't be so upset now.

Matt: Well, excuse me for not coming to that idea first.

Mohinder: Whatever.

Matt: So come on! Tell me already!

Mohinder: Okay….you obviously haven't learned anything yet.

Matt: …..

Mohinder: …..

Matt: …..oh!

Matt thinks for a second.

Matt: _You left her with Angela Petrelli?!_

Mohinder: I know that may sound strange…

Matt: But she's shady and suspicious……_very suspicious_…..

-CUT TO ONE SUNDAY MORNING-

Angela Petrelli exits her castle estate in her _new fur coat_ to pick up her morning paper.

Choir (singing): _Cruella De Vil_….._Cruella De Vil_….._If she doesn't scare you_…._ no evil thing will_….

Angela: I thought I told you freaks to get off my property! Don't make me call the cops!

Singer: Watch out! _She's got a broom!_

Angela (swinging at them): SHOO! SHOO!...

-FIN-

Mohinder: I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, but she is leaving the country and the less people who know about it, the better.

Matt: Yeah, I guess. But you could have at least told me.

Mohinder: Well….nah, I wouldn't.

Matt: Why not?

Mohinder: …Well, you tend to be…..one….who….tends…..to…..screw things up.

Matt: ……..

Mohinder: …..

Matt: ….What are you talking about?

Mohinder: Nevermind.

Matt: Oh man, I spilled coffee all over myself.

Mohinder: Where did you get coffee?

Matt: I don't know….

Mohinder: -Sigh-

_Hiro Nakamura  
On the side of the road  
Singing in the rain_…._no he's not_….._it's not even raining_. _Very lightly sprinkling_…_maybe_

Thomas Fox has is hands gripped on the steering wheel. Staring down Hiro, who is standing in front of his car.

Hiro: I know who you are Mr. Fox.

Fox: Is that so?

Hiro: You are a very bad man, and I'm going to stop you.

Fox: ……

Hiro: Uh….yeah. So there!

Fox: ……

Hiro realizes that Fox and everything else is frozen in place.

Hiro: Uh….um…..

Hiro turns around to find _his future self _standing behind him.

Hiro: Oh no…_me again?!_

Future Hiro: You…..we need to talk.

Hiro: ……

_Niki and Micah Sanders  
Mohinder's Apartment  
Right down the hall from Apartment 3-G, Peter's favorite comic strip_……_not really, he's more of a 'Family Circus' kinda guy._

Niki is walking around, picking up different clothes. Micah is sitting at the kitchen table.

Niki: Ok, Micah, go ahead and pack your things. We need to move out of here.

Micah: Um…well, I never lived here. You did. I just got here not too long ago.

Niki: Oh right.

Micah: But those people took Molly, shouldn't we go rescue her?

Niki: Parkman and Mohinder got it under control. That man from the casino is up to no good.

Micah: You were out a casino? Cool.

Niki: Uh….nevermind that. We should go.

Micah: Did Mohinder fix you? Are you any better?

Niki: Well, not…really. We really….hardly made any progress whatsoever. But you know Micah; we'll manage and get through this someday.

Micah: Yeah, don't worry mom. I'm sure there is somebody else in the world who knows _exactly_ what you are going through.

Elsewhere in the world, _Miley Cyrus _exits her house.

Miley: Bye dad! I'm off to make my millions!

She stops by a mirror, her alter-ego _Hanna Montana_ stares at her through the reflection.

Hanna: Where do you think YOU'RE going?

Miley: Uh….

Hanna: We both know that _I'm the star_ around here.

Miley: No you're not! I don't need you!

Miley suddenly realizes she's in the mirror's reflection.

Hanna: Well, I'm off to become more famous! _Ciao!_

Miley (banging on the mirror): AHHHH! NOOOO!

-FIN-

Micah: ….

Niki: ….yeah…..I'm sure there is……..hmm…..

Micah: Yup.

Niki: Let's just get…

A pounding is heard on the door.

Niki: ……What's that?

Outside in the hall…

Man: Get a hold of the boss and let him know we arrived.

_Hiro and Future Hiro  
Isaac Mendez's Loft  
The best place to give someone a stern talking to_

Hiro and Future Hiro appear inside of the loft.

Hiro: What is going on?

Future Hiro: Hiro, I have come back to warn you.

Hiro: Well, you put in the effort of traveling back in time and talking to your past self, so I'm sure something bad is going to happen.

Man: Uh, hello? What are you two doing here? I live here.

Hiro: What? Who are you?

Man: My name is Fred Johnston. This is my loft! I bought it.

Hiro: But…..that's impossible!

Man: Uh no….the guy who owned it last was killed and it went back on the market so I bought it.

Hiro: Gah!

Man: So, if you don't mind….

_Hiro and Future Hiro  
Fred Johnston's Loft  
Formerly belonging to Isaac Mendez but he was killed and the place went back on the market (but you already know that)_

Hiro: That's just wrong.

Future Hiro: Hiro, the world is in incredible danger.

Hiro: Sure.

Future Hiro digs around in his bag and pulls out a photo of _Sunny_.

Hiro: …..I know who that is…..

Future Hiro: Come with me, we need to find Peter Petrelli.

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
The Coroner's Office  
Is that 'Thriller' playing on the radio_…._that's kinda creepy_

Peter and Nathan walk into the Coroner's Office.

Tim the Coroner: Ah, Mr. Petrelli. You came here to check out Ms. McGregor. Well, I'm almost finished with the autopsy.

Nathan: Uh, Pete? Why are we here? We know how she died.

Peter: We have things to talk about, Nathan. And I thought this would be the most dramatic place to do it.

Nathan: No it wouldn't!

Peter: Fine, let's go somewhere else.

Later, at _Chuck E. Cheese's_…

Peter: So anyway, Nathan. I think the world is in grave danger, Sylar has to be back.

Nathan: ……

Peter: ….What?

Nathan: ….

Peter: Oh, fine! We'll go back. _Just let me blow out my birthday candles_.

Peter huffs and puffs and blows out all the candles on the birthday cake.

Peter: _I DID IT!_

Susie: _What are you doing!? That was my birthday cake_!

Peter: Oh, so it's _all about you_, isn't it!?

Nathan: Can we go now?!

Back at the Coroner's office…

Tim: I have come to the conclusion….that this woman died by having the top of her head ripped off.

Peter: Fascinating.

Nathan: Uh…duh! We knew this already!

Peter: We have to track down Sylar, and fast!

Peter starts to walk out but Nathan stops him.

Nathan: That's….what I wanted to talk to you about.

Peter: Huh?

Nathan: I…didn't want to tell you. But…..I saw who killed her.

Peter: WHAT!? Why didn't you just tell me this while we were at Chuck E. Cheese's, we could've been playing some games by now!

Nathan: Um….don't take this the wrong way….

Peter: What is it?

Nathan: I'm pretty sure…..that I have come to the conclusion….

Peter: Out with it man!

Nathan: That it was you.

Peter: Me?

Nathan: Yes.

Peter: ….I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?

Nathan: You killed her.

Peter: Who?

Nathan: Sarah McGregor!

Peter: But….how? She was obviously killed by Sylar.

Nathan: No…

Peter: Yes.

Nathan: No, Pete. I'm sure.

Peter: But….that's…..

Nathan: Dammit, Pete. I saw you kill her.

Peter: Oh…….

Nathan: That's why I wanted to talk to you…..because I know you couldn't have done it.

Peter: But you just said I did.

Nathan: Well, yeah. But you know what I mean…..

Peter: No I don't!

Nathan: I'm saying there has to be some explanation. You wouldn't draw a picture of her falling to her death, save her, then just to kill her. It doesn't make sense.

Peter: Don't forget battle her in court.

Nathan: Actually that was a horrible experience and I'm trying to forget about it.

Peter: Aw…..

They turn to leave and run into Present and Future Hiro.

Nathan: Uh….am I going crazy. Or are there two Hiro's?

Peter: One of them is probably from the future, Nate. Geez, man, get with the program.

Nathan: Hmph!

They confront each other.

Peter: Hiro!

Hiro: Peter Petrelli.

Hiro (looking at Nathan): _Flying Man!_

Nathan (rolling his eyes): Hiro.

Peter: Nathan.

Nathan: Peter….wait, I already….

Future Hiro: Hiro.

Hiro: Future Self.

Future Hiro: _Flying Man_.

Nathan: Future Hiro…

Peter: Hiro.

Hiro: Peter Petrelli.

Nathan: Peter.

Peter: _Mr. Muggles…_

Nathan: WHAT!?

Future Hiro: I have brought you together; we must discuss something very important. The world is at stake.

Peter: Can we do it at Chuck E. Cheese's!?

Future Hiro: Of course!

Nathan: Ah, hell…..

--Several Weeks Ago--

_Niki, Mohinder, and Matt  
The Scientist's Convention  
She blinded me...with Science!_

Niki: Man, I'm glad that mess is over.

Mohinder: Yeah.

Meanwhile….

Niki: WAIT! That's all we get?!

Mohinder: Why even bother?

Matt: I didn't even get a line in….well, except for that one. Okay, I'm satisfied.

MEANWHILE….

On the rooftop of a nearby building…._Sylar is enjoying his brand new powers_.

Sylar: That's right! I can teleport again, and I can conjure ice…..well there is the whole Astral Projection power, but that'll be pretty useless to me now. Okay world, here I come…._time to be bad_. AHH….AAAHHHH…..AAACHOOOOO!

Sylar sneezes and accidentally teleports himself out of there.

_Sylar  
Jenny's Jumpy Java Coffee Shop and Scone Emporium  
Newly rebuilt after Juan Valdez and his trusty Steed burnt it down last week._

Sylar: Where the hell am I now?!

Jenny: _OI! Hello dere, laddie! Moight I interest you in some coffay? _

Sylar: Uh….what?

Jenny: Oi! Bloody hell, You look like you be lost. That allright, I moight have the answers to your identity…._in this box_.

-WHAT IS IN THE BOX!?-

Sylar: AHHHHHHHH!

Sylar runs out, flailing his arms and screaming bloody murder.

Sylar: _BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!_

Not literally…

Sylar: Whew! That was too close.

He sneaks around a corner and comes across a surfer dude talking on the phone.

Surfer (on phone): Nah, babe. I really want to see you too. _I am a heart, and you are the key that opens my heart_…..

Sylar: Aw, how sweet. (He sticks his finger down his throat). Blargh….

Surfer (phone): And by opening my heart….all sorts of gushy blood comes spilling out.

Sylar: EW! Gross…..

Passerby: Oh, _like you're one to talk!_

Sylar: _Are you eavesdropping on MY conversation? Get out of here! RUDE!_ The nerve of some people.

Surfer (still on phone): I can't wait to see……what you can do?

Sylar: Hmmm?

Surfer: Yeah…..it's pretty impressive. Say you realized you had it not for too long huh….

Sylar: Could it be…..power. Me likey power….

Surfer: Yeah….Mine is pretty impressive too……I can't wait for you to see it. In fact, it's a shame you don't have the ability to heal yourself, that way I can say to you lines like _"I know you can heal from any wound, but I would never want to see you ever get hurt"._

Sylar: Oh, yuck….

Chester Cheetah: _Dangerously Cheesy!_

Sylar: DO YOU MIND!? I'm trying to listen in here, man….people here….

Surfer: Who is that!?

Sylar (To Chester Cheetah): Oh, good going, idiot! _Way to drop the ball there!_ Now, I'm busted.

The surfer takes a step back.

Sylar: Okay…(Cracking his knuckles)….time to get to work.

Before doing anything…._Peter Petrelli _appears on the other side of the surfer.

Sylar: HUH!? You….what are you doing here?

Peter takes a deep breath….blinking once. The surfer falls to the ground, the top of his head rolls over to the side.

Sylar: !!

Peter kneels down; he places one finger on the guy's brain.

Sylar: ……

Peter's eyes flicker for a couple of seconds.

Peter: Done.

Sylar: DONE!?

Peter stands up; he takes one good look at Sylar.

Sylar: What the hell was that?! You do know that's _my trademark kill._ I'll sue you for that!

Peter chuckles to himself.

Sylar: Uh…

Peter: ……_See you on the other side_.

Peter bends down, then shoots upward toward the sky. Flying off into the distance.

Sylar looks over to see a voice coming from the phone. He picks it up.

Sylar: Hello?

Voice: So….are you going to come over? I really want to see you in person.

Sylar: Yes…..I want to see you too.

Voice: Great, I mean….I can't wait to finally meet you. We've like talked forever but now…oooh, it'll be so much fun.

Sylar: It sure will. Go ahead and give me your address so I can meet you.

Voice: I already did.

Sylar: Uh…do it again.

She tells him the address while Sylar writes it down.

Sylar: Great, I can't wait to finally meet you…

Sylar looks at the phone to read…

_On the phone with: Sunny  
Time Talking: 99:99:99-Hang up already, dammit!_

Sylar: …._Sunny_.

He hangs up and searches the surfer's corpse. Pulling out his wallet.

Sylar: ….._Darren Miller, eh?_

Sylar: Hmm…well, I've already pretended to be Mohinder Suresh, Zane Taylor, Colonel Sanders, and a slew of other people. Why not add one more to my list?

Sylar takes the wallet.

Sylar: Here I come, 555 Acorn Ave.

--PRESENT DAY--

Hiro, Future Hiro, Peter and Nathan are sitting at a table in the middle of Chuck E. Cheese's.

Future Hiro: I've traveled back because the world is in danger. This woman (pulls out picture of Sunny) name is Samantha, and she is on the brink on sending the world into darkness.

Peter: How do you know this?

Future Hiro: Um…I'm from the future.

Peter: We know that….how is it there?

Future Hiro: It's been sent into total darkness. That's why I'm here!

Peter: Uh….we knew that.

Future Hiro: The first thing I need to ask…..Is Claire in prison?

Peter: Claire?...In prison.

Future Hiro: Claire got prosecuted for murdering her teacher, Mr. Graham. She needed to go to prison.

Nathan: But she didn't kill him.

Future Hiro: That's right. But she was supposed to be framed and imprisoned…missing her upcoming Graduation Ceremony.

Peter: Uh…why?

Future Hiro: Because Samantha will expose Claire's power to the world……and…

Peter: Yeah, yeah, we know….send it into darkness.

Nathan: How does this Samantha character know she has a power?

Future Hiro: I'm not sure how she finds out. All I know is that she was one of the 7 people who got Peter's abilities when….

Peter: Yeah, yeah….the whole Prescott Mansion Explosion thing.

Future Hiro: Stop finishing my sentences.

Peter: Oop! Sorry…..

Future Hiro: But she is imprisoned, right?

Peter: Uh….

Nathan: No, Peter played 'Lawyer' for a day and got her off the hook.

Future Hiro: Well, that explains why the world is in the midst of total destruction.

Peter: Good going, Nathan.

Nathan: He just said it was your fault!

Future Hiro: Well, you can't go back now. Claire's Graduation Ceremony is in 3 days, if you don't stop Sunny from exposing Claire's power. Then everybody will know….

Peter: Well, that can't be that bad, right? I mean Spider-Man got his identity revealed to the public and now he has a National Spider-Man day or whatever. AH! Wouldn't it be nice….a _National Peter Petrelli Day?_

--WHAT IF--

The crowds are applauding and cheering as the Peter Petrelli Parade of Perfection is about to begin.

Reporter: Yes, the stage is set and the parade is about to start.

Vendor: Mama Petrelli's Famous Caramel Apples! Get em' while they're hot!

Reporter: And here comes the first float.

A gigantic float comes zooming down the road, driven by Elle, obviously not paying attention to the road.

Elle: AHHH! I don't know how to drive this thing.

She veers off the row into the crowds.

People: EEEEEEEK!

--END--

Peter: Wait…._Who the hell put Elle in charge of driving the first float? That's just stupid!_

Nathan (to Future Hiro): Is that the glimpse of the world being in total darkness you were referring to?

Future Hiro: No….the future now is surprisingly worse……I think…..hmm……yeah, it's worse.

Peter: So now what?

Future Hiro: Visit Claire and try to stop the ceremony from happening.

Nathan: Couldn't we just tell her not to go?

Future Hiro: I guess you could do that.

Hiro: And were off!

Future Hiro: No, you screwed up the future as well.

Hiro: Aww….

Future Hiro: By confronting Fox in the middle of the road, you let Edward, the man who can heal himself escape…well, he ends up getting killed.

Peter: If it was Claire, she wouldn't get killed. She's a strong one….In fact, did you know _she can cut off her big toe and it'll just grow back_?

Nathan slams down the slice of pizza he was about to put in his mouth.

Nathan: Thank you for sharing that!

Peter: You're welcome, brother!

Future Hiro: Also, by stopping the car, you prevent a car accident.

Hiro: I do?

Future Hiro: That car accident has to happen; the other car contains the Walker child who can locate anybody.

Peter: Oh yeah, her.

Future Hiro: _That car _was on the way to drop Molly off…..with Mrs. Petrelli.

Peter: _GRANDMA!?_

Future Hiro: No, you fool! Your mother.

Nathan: But…she's moving to France.

Future Hiro: Well, guess who's accompanying her?

Peter: _The Haitian_?

Future and Present Hiro slap their foreheads.

Nathan: Here Peter (he hands him a dollar) go buy yourself some tokens.

Peter: Sweet!

He scurries off.

Future Hiro: So that's it. Flying Man, you and Peter go to the Bennet home and stop Claire from attending her Graduation Ceremony; this will prevent Sunny from exposing her.

Nathan: Okay, whatever.

Future Hiro: And Hiro…

Hiro: Yes….

Future Hiro: Now that you screwed up, Edward will most likely be killed and Molly Walker is now with the mother Petrelli. Try to stop them from leaving the country. That is the only way you can fix this.

Hiro: And if I just happen to fail in my attempts, I can just go back in time and try it again and again.

Future Hiro: You could, but it would be recommended if you succeed the first time, _it is only a 1 hour show you know_.

Hiro: I will not fail, Future Me.

Future Hiro: Good. I better return back to my time…..Good luck.

Future Hiro teleports out of there. Peter is standing next to Nathan with a cup full of tokens.

Nathan: Where did you get all those tokens?

Peter: I….uh….won them?

Nathan: You don't win more tokens, you win tickets….Wait……_Did you steal some kid's tokens?_

Peter: If it was any consolation, _he wasn't looking when I took them._

Nathan: _Give them back!_

Peter: Fine!

He storms off as Nathan pops an aspirin.

Hiro: Okay, I better go too. Good luck on your journey, flying man. (Teleports out)

Nathan: Thanks, I'll need it.

Hiro appears back at the Mansion ruins with Ando.

Ando: There you are! Do you know how long I've been waiting here!?

Hiro: Ando, I have found out everything I need to know. We must leave at once…._we have a plane to catch_.

Ando: What?!

--FLASHBACK TO A FEW HOURS EARLIER--

Future Hiro and Hiro teleport out of the way of Fox's car, time returns to normal.

Fox: What the hell….What just happened? Where did that guy….

He stops to the sound of a car door slamming.

Fox: Dammit.

Fox pulls out a gun, hopping out of the car. He chases Edward to the bridge.

Fox: STOP!

Edward gets to the edge of the bridge and leaps over the railing as Fox fires a shot. Edward lands on the ground, breaking his leg. The bullet in his arm pops out as the wound heals. Before he can do anything else, he is stopped by Peter, who kneels down next to him.

Peter: …Thanks for dropping by.

Edward: !!

Peter takes a deep breath as his eyes flicker. He exhales and walks away as Edward lies in a pool of blood.

Meanwhile, Fox's men bust into Mohinder's Apartment.

Agent 1: I know there were people in here. Come out wherever you are!

He crosses the hallway to be approached by Niki, who crushes his head with a flower vase. The other two guys advance on her, she punches one while the other grabs her from behind.

Niki: Urk!...(To her reflection of Jessica)…._You could step in at any time here!_

Jessica (eating some Cracker Jacks while watching TV): Ugh! Fine…..

Niki (now Jessica) stomps on the man's toe. He let's go then tries to take a swing at her, she grabs his fist and twists his arm behind is back. Grabbing the back of his head, she slams it into the microwave door. The other Agent pulls out a gun, Jessica hits the floor, dodging the bullet. She reaches over to grab Matt's toy fire truck and flings it at the man's head.

Agent: URK!...(Falls to the ground).

Jessica: There!

Micah (standing in the bedroom doorway): Uh….

Jessica: You ready to go?

Micah: Sure……

She starts to walk out with Micah.

Niki (in reflection): Okay, changing back now.

Jessica: Nope. I can use some time away.

Niki: GRR! One of these days I'll be able to control this on my own…..Hmm…..(She grabs the box of Cracker Jacks and plops down on the couch).

--ANOTHER FLASHBACK TO SEVERAL WEEKS AGO--

Sylar shows up in front of Sunny's house. Sunny opens the door and shrieks.

Sunny: EEEK! Darren? Is that you?

Sylar (as Darren): It sure is, in the flesh.

Sunny: Come in! Come in! Super best boyfriend in the world!

Sylar: Uh…..oookay.

He walks in.

Sylar: So…it's good to see you.

Sunny: Yeah, I know.

Sylar: ….

Sunny: Well, I wanted to tell you that it's not going to work out….

Sylar: WHAT!?

Sunny: I mean….us living so far away; it just got me thinking that….we should break up.

Sylar: But we just met! And I traveled all the way from….where did I come from?

Sunny: California.

Sylar: I was in California?!

Sunny: Yes. Besides, I would only get in the way of your surfing career. So, goodbye.

Sylar: I can't believe this! (To self: Well, I don't know why I'm upset, it's just the principle).

Sunny: Would you like some chocolate milk?

Sylar: No…..I would like something more.

Sunny: Hee hee!...Well, (pouring her a glass)…..if you think you're going to take my power for your own, _Sylar_…..

Sylar: HUH!?

Sunny: Oh, I know all about you, my friend. I've got connections. If you want my power that badly….

She walks up to him, brushing his face with her hand.

Sunny: _You're going to have to find me first_….

She fades out of view, Sylar spins around.

Sylar: What the?...Okay…so that's what you can do?

Sunny (Invisible): Did you honestly think I would meet my boyfriend without knowing what he looks like first?

Sylar: Maybe.

Sunny: Well, you can stay if you want, I don't care. But I have to buy some clothes for school. _There's supposed to be a new student and I want to make sure I look better than him or her._ Bye, Bye!

Sylar: ………What a nut!

Sunny: Now, time to break up with my boyfriend for real…

Later, at the Fiesta Del Monaco Casino.

Thomas Fox is flipping through the photos. He picks up his cell phone and makes a phone call. Sunny picks it up.

Sunny (answering her phone): _Hi daddy_!

Fox: Hey, Sweetheart. How have you been?

Sunny: Good, good. I'm shopping for clothes, and I'm about to call and break it off with Darren.

Fox: You're…..about…..to break it off with him? Didn't you two just meet...over the phone?

Sunny: Yeah, I've been trying to call him, but he hasn't been answering his phone.

Fox: I see…..well….good luck with that then….

He pauses for a second.

Fox: How's your mother?

Sunny: She's doing super good!

Fox: Good….good….Well, I'll come visit you guys this weekend if I can.

Sunny: Sounds great. School's almost out so try to make it to the Graduation Ceremony.

Fox: I'll do my best. See you then…..

He hangs up as he looks at the two photos of Sunny and Darren on his desk.

Fox: ……..

He stops as Peter is standing behind them.

Peter: You do realize I'm going kill her as well….

Fox: It's a small price to pay…..this must be done.

Peter: I still have some other business to attend to first. _I'm keeping a close eye on the guy from Japan_.

Fox: Mieoko? There's millions of people there….how will you do it without being spotted?

Peter: I'll make it look like an accident….

--PRESENT DAY--

Hiro and Ando are at the bottom of the bridge, next to Edward's body.

Ando: Why are we here? I thought we were going on a plane or something.

Hiro: My future self was right. I tried to confront Fox, and this man was killed.

Ando: Now what do we do?

Hiro: I must stop Mrs. Petrelli from leaving the country with the child. Something terrible is supposed to happen. We better hurry.

Hiro and Ando teleport out of there.

At the Restaurant, Mohinder is shining a light in the Haitian's eye, inspecting him. Elle and Matt are drinking milkshakes.

Mohinder: Very interesting. This new power is definitely _extraordinary_.

Noah: That's nice, but will he able to control it eventually? We still have work to do.

Mohinder: I'm sure it won't be too long before…..

He spots something strange on the Haitian's arm. He takes a closer look; he reads a red tattoo with the Roman numeral _'XI'_ on it.

Mohinder: …..Eleven?...-Gasp!-…….This tattoo…..I….I've read about this……

He looks at the Haitian.

Mohinder: _This man isn't your Haitian friend_.

Noah: Um….What…?

Elle: AHA! I knew it!

Noah: No you didn't….

Mohinder: Well, He is….but he isn't….I can't explain here..…But I've read about this…we have to get back to the apartment immediately.

Matt: Can I bring my milkshake?

Mohinder: No, you'll only spill it all over the car!

Matt: Please? I really like this milkshake! It's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really….

Mohinder: FINE! You can bring it back.

Matt: Oh! Nevermind, I spilled it all over myself.

Mohinder: Ugh…

Matt: Miss! Can I get another Milkshake?

Elle: OOH! Me too, they're just killer!

Mohinder: We don't have time to sit around, this is urgent. Mr. Bennet, you and the Haitian come with me, we'll take my car back. (To Elle and Matt) You two can join up with us later.

Matt: Works for me.

Elle: Whatever. You go bye now!

Mohinder, Noah, and The Haitian leave.

Noah: What do you think is going on?

Mohinder: If it's what I think it is….we're in a lot of trouble.

A little bit later, Matt and Elle waddle out of the restaurant.

Matt: Ooooh! So full.

Elle: Tell me about it….but it was worth it.

Matt: Yeah.

They get to the car; Elle gets her keys but drops them.

Elle: Oh crap….

Matt: You got it?

Elle: Yeah…..No….I'm too full to pick them up.

A man walks by and picks up the keys for her.

Man: Here you go…

Elle: Oh thank you, there's no way I could've…..

She takes the keys only to drop them again.

Elle: You…..

She finds _Dale_, his shirt covered with blood.

Elle: _NOT YOU AGAIN!!_

Dale: You didn't think I forgot about you did you?

Elle: You were dead! Mr. B shot you…

Dale: He did, and I was good as dead. But….(laughs), you forgot I have a shocking ability. A little jolt started my heart up again and I was able to get medical assistance, need a change of clothes though.

Elle: You can't do that!..._THAT'S CHEATING!_

Matt (on the other side of the car, sprawled on the ground): Is everything okay, Elle? Can you push me into the car? Uuuuugh…..

Dale: Just get in the car. We're going for a ride…..

Elle: I really, really, hate you.

Dale: I know.

He chuckles and gets into the back seat. Elle rolls her eyes and picks up her keys.

_To Be Continued_.

An all new chapter, coming soon!


	15. End Of The Line

The Heroes Parody Project

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 15: End Of The Line

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Author Note: Hello, and welcome back to another (took forever to get here) chapter of 'The Heroes Parody Project'. This is the last chapter of this volume before I start a brand new one. Again, I want to apologize for the constant disappearances and at the same time thank everybody who has had enough patience to bear with me while I try to get this story finished. It's been a lot of fun writing these and I really appreciate all the feedback and reviews. Now I haven't forgotten about the story I've been trying really hard to keep this thing updated, and normally I was going to put in some more chapters to this volume but honestly, I've been wanting to break away from this story arc for a while now (The whole Prescott mansion business, the 7 powers thing) I'm my own worst critic but yeah, it's gotta go. A new story arc is starting to implement its way in recent chapters but won't start to really show through until the next volume (it is going to get a little confusing until I get this next story under control lol). Anyway, I wanted to abandon this storyline bad….almost wanting to pull a _Dallas_ and have…I don't know….Claire wake up and realize it was all a dream…kidding, that would have been pretty lazy on my part so I wanted to conclude this in some way. So here it is….the final chapter of Volume 2. I hope you enjoy it. And thank you for reading.

Previously on…..Heroes…..

Matt and Mohinder are dressing up.

Mohinder (to Matt): Here, put this wig on.

Matt: Why do I have to do this?

Mohinder: Because Niki wouldn't do it. Just get it over with….

Matt: Fine!

Mohinder: Now remember. _You're playing Maya, and I'm playing Alejandro._

Matt: Right!

Mohinder: Now, start running!

Mohinder and Matt run into the forest screaming and flailing their arms.

Matt: _HELP US! HELP US! _We're being chased by the cops and _we have extraordinary abilities!_

Mohinder: Ugh…..

They reach the end of the road.

Matt: Oh, Alejandro my love!

Mohinder: _I'm your brother, stupid!_

Matt: Oh….that's awkward……Anyway, I'm under so much stress….I think _I'm about to lose control of my power…_

Matt takes some _Grape Jelly_ and smears it near his eyes.

Matt: AAAH! _IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!_...ow, that really burns…..

Mohinder: Now I understand why Niki dropped out.

--

Claire is at a social group. She bumps into…

Claire: GASP! _Sylar!_

Sylar: Hello….Claire Bear.

Claire: HEY! You can't call me that….My dad has that nickname trademarked, he'll sue you!

Sylar: Don't be so jumpy, I'm here for the same reason you are.

Claire: And that is…?

Sylar: Acceptance in the world.

Claire: Uh….you're a crazy psycho killer…..I'm the Cheerleader……._Everybody loves the Cheerleader_.

Sylar: We're very much alike you and I.

Claire: And how is that?

Sylar: We both come from messed up families….your family is built on a foundation of lies and deceit. I've had family problems as well….in fact my poor mother perished in a tragic _Snow Globe accident_.

Claire: Oh that's……_Snow Globes?_

Sylar: Yes…..But wouldn't it be nice to finally find someone….

He edges in closer.

Sylar: Find someone to share your loneliness with.

Claire: That….doesn't make any sense.

Sylar: The truth is….._I think_….._I think I love you Claire_.

Claire: I...I…._I love you too Sylar_.

They began to kiss passionately….than Claire wakes up.

Claire (in her bed): AAAAAHHHHH!...AAHHHHHHH!!...

She looks around…..

Claire: ….AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!...Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew…..GROSS!

--

Okay none of that happened…._Previously on Heroes_…….

Future Hiro: Hiro (talking to Present Hiro…..or is it Past Hiro to him….oh whatever), the future is at stake; you must stop Angela Petrelli from leaving with the Walker child.

Hiro: Will do! Come on Ando!

Future Hiro: And Peter, Nathan….You two need to stop Claire's graduation.

Nathan: Like we have anything better to do?

Peter: Oh crap, I forgot I'm supposed to host _Bingo Night_ at the old folk's home.

Nathan: Uh…..yeeeah……(Rolls eyes)

--

Some guys break into Mohinder's apartment and Jessica gets to work kickin' and punchin'….

Micah: Uh….

Jessica: HI-YA! (THWAP! WHAP! CRACK!)

Later…

Jessica: Micah, we're getting out of here.

Micah: Okay….

--

Noah: My Haitian friend is acting very strangely, I want answers.

Mohinder: He has the symbol on him….I've read about it._ TO THE APARTMENT!_

Elle: You guys go ahead….

Matt: Yeah, we want to finish our shakes.

--

Elle goes to her car and drops her keys, only to find Dale standing there.

Elle: Oh man…..

Dale: Get in the car…we're going for a little ride.

Elle: …..

--

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
On their way to The Bennet Home  
Where the doorbell 'dings'…but doesn't 'dong'…which is kinda creepy._

Peter: Man, it sure is quite a drive to the Bennet's home.

Nathan: …..

Peter: Something wrong, bro?

Nathan: Yes….yes there is.

Peter: What's that?

Nathan: I can fly….you can teleport…..why are we taking my car and wasting my gas to drive to Pennsylvania?

Peter: Hmmm…..good point.

He grabs Nathan's shoulder and they disappear, the car careens over the side of a bridge into the water. _(SPLOOSH!)_

_Peter and Nathan Petrelli  
NOW at The Bennet Home  
We should probably stop the location captions, they charge by the letter._

Peter: Ta-da! We're here, and nobody suspects a thing.

Nathan: Except for the people driving on the same bridge we were who are now wondering how a car driving in front of them suddenly has nobody in it.

Peter: It's called _Cruise Control_. Don't worry; I'm a master of discretion.

Old Woman: Martha! Isn't that the strangest thing? _Those two men weren't standing there 5 seconds ago_.

Nathan glares at Peter.

Peter: Let's just go in.

Nathan: Wait!

Peter walks in to find Sandra putting up some laundry.

Sandra: Oh hey! I recognize you two. You're the old Senator.

Nathan: Yeah, yeah…something like that……and I'm not old!

Sandra (to Peter): _And you're that guy who hosts Bingo!_

Peter: Well, I don't mean to brag…….

He turns to Nathan.

Peter: I'm famous around here you know.

Nathan: That's nice. Anyway….

Peter: Oh, right. Mrs. Bennet, we have to find Claire, fast.

Nathan: Wait a minute, Pete. I just thought of something….

Peter: Huh?

Nathan: Can't you locate people yourself? Remember….Molly Walker? You should have her ability.

Peter: You're right……..Hmmm…….Urgghh………

Nathan: Don't try too hard….you might…..break something….

Peter: I think my locator thing is on the fritz…

Nathan: Oh well….

Sandra: Did you gentlemen need something?

Nathan: Yes, we need to find Claire, it's very important. We were hoping you could help us.

Sandra: Oh, ok…well, come on in. I need to finish putting up this laundry; and take my cookies out of the oven

Peter: Did she just say _'cookies'_? I love cookies!

Nathan: This is going to be a long day….

_Hiro and Ando  
The New York Official International World Airport Terminal Of Aviation and Aerial Transportation Of Business Officials and Civilians_ _Established In 1944_.  
_That is a huge name for an airport_.

Hiro: Were here!...Wait…..is this the right building?

Ando: No, it's over there.

Hiro: RIGHT!

_Hiro and Ando  
NOW at The New York Official International World Airport Terminal Of Aviation and _…._oh whatever!  
Pick a place and stay there!_

Hiro (to Ando): _Those captions sure are snippy!_

Ando: So, what are we going to do now, Hiro?

Hiro: We need to find out which flight Mrs. Petrelli is on. Then we go to her plane, rescue the little girl, and the world is safe.

Ando: _At least until next week_.

Hiro: Hold on…I'm going to cheat. Be right back.

Hiro disappears……time freezes for a moment……everything resumes and he comes back.

Hiro: She's on flight 443.

They teleport out of there….The End…..of that scene.

_Mohinder, Noah Bennet, and The Haitian  
Mohinder's Apartment  
Landlord's suspicions that rent has never been paid the entire time Mohinder has lived there: Very High_

Mohinder walks into his apartment followed by Noah and The Haitian.

Mohinder: So you see, there is something quite extraordinary about that symbol.

Noah: It's just the number eleven…

The Haitian looks at the tattooed number on his arm.

Mohinder: It's around here somewhere, I've read about this….but…..Damn, where is it?

Mohinder and Noah look around the apartment, the Haitian backs away, turning to lock the front door.

_Parkman and Elle  
On the road somewhere  
Probably regretting staying behind to finish their milkshakes_

The car zooms by, Elle is driving, and Dale is in the backseat with Matt.

Elle: Where are we supposed to take you?

Dale: Back to my boss, who else?

Elle: Grr…..

Matt: I know! We can play _I-Spy!_ This will make the trip a little easier….Ok, I'll go first….._I spy with my little eye_….

Dale: …_someone who is about to die!_

Matt: HEY! Wait your turn!...Geez, no manners whatsoever!

Elle: Urge to blow up car….._rising_.

The car zooms on…..as _Peter_ looks at them in the distance. He checks a list with several people on it whose names are scratched out, with _Dale Nelson_ next on the list.

-_And the world goes for a spin_…._come on, big money, big money, no Whammy, no Whammy_………_Heroes!_-

_Mohinder, Noah, and The Haitian  
Still at Mohinder's Apartment  
Searching through books, like 'Nancy Drew in the Mystery Of Who Killed Nancy Drew?' and 'Chicken Soup for the Chicken's soul'_.

Mohinder: I can't find it anywhere…..

He pulls out a book, which on the front of it reads:

_CHAPTER 15: END OF THE LINE_

Mohinder: What kind of book is this?!

Noah: Now what!?

Mohinder: I guess we see where….

The Haitian panicky grabs something off the table.

Mohinder: What was that?

Haitian: Nothing.

Noah: What are you hiding? If you're planning to betray us I will have your salary reduced!...And I'm not paying you anything so in reality you will be _owing me money_.

The Haitian looks around and takes off running, jumping through the window.

Mohinder: UGH! That's the 5th time I had to replace that window!

Noah: Uh…

Mohinder: Seriously….living with Matt and Niki….the two most dangerous people on earth…for the wrong reasons that is…..nothing in this apartment is safe.

Noah: I'm going to go after him. You wait here for Matt and Elle if they ever decide to show up.

Noah starts to go out the door and can't get through.

Mohinder: Oh, the lock jams sometimes….

Noah: Swell….

_Peter and Nathan  
The Bennet Home  
Something's in the oven (there will be no poking the tummy of The Pillsbury Doughboy_, _he's threatened to press charges)_

Pillsbury Doughboy: THAT'S RIGHT! I've got the top lawyers in the tri-state area, so you better….

Peter runs in the kitchen and pokes him with his finger.

Pillsbury Doughboy: _Tee Hee!_...DAMMIT! _That's it!_...Come on men!

Peter (giggling): Sorry, I couldn't resist!

An army of Pillsbury Dough-men start crawling out of the refrigerator and cabinets.

Peter: Uh oh….

The endless brigade of Dough Warriors latch onto Peter, proceeding to beat the living crap out of him.

Peter: AHHHH! _NATHAN, HELP!_

Pillsbury Doughboy: _BREAK HIS LEGS!_

Peter: AHHHHHHH!

Nathan: Anyway……So…..Mrs. Bennet.

Sandra: Nathan.

Nathan: Man this feel weird being here…..anyway….We need to find Claire….the world is at stake….yada yada….same old stuff….Do you know where we can find her?

Sandra: She should still be at school. But she will be home shortly because her Graduation is tonight.

Nathan: Really….that's…..strange….Okay…..We'll go there, thanks for your help.

Sandra: Sure….here, have a cookie for the road.

Nathan: Thanks. Come on Pete.

Peter is still in the kitchen, tied up, on the floor while the Dough-Men still continue to wail on him.

Peter: Ahhh….this sucks!

_Elle, Matt, and Dale  
Still driving  
Still wasting gas_

Dale: Okay, you're going to drive for about 2 more hours…

Elle: _2 hours!?_

Dale: And then you're going to take the entrance to I-85.

Elle: I should so drive this car off a bridge…

Dale: I wouldn't recommend that, unless you want your friend to live. (Motioning towards Matt)

Elle: Who _him!?_ We hardly know each other. Kill him for all I care….

Matt: WHAT!? Elle….you can't say things like that…..I mean…..(he thinks for a second)….._since you are my wife!_

_DUN! DUN! DUUUUN!_

Elle: Excuse me?

Dale: You two are married?

Matt: Yes!...She's also….eating for two!

_DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUN!_

Elle gives Matt a '_WTF'_ look through the rear view mirror.

Dale: Y…y…._you're pregnant?!_

Elle: Uh…..sure.

Matt: _I also know_…._who the mother is_!

_DUN! DUN_…..

Elle and Dale: _WHAT?!_...

Matt: Oh wait….that doesn't make sense does it…..?

Elle: It doesn't matter….Matt, I want to break up…._I caught you last night making out with my sister!_

_DUN! DUUUUUUUN!_

Dale: DUDE!

Matt: Uh….Elle, you're about to run over someone.

Elle: Hee! Oh, this soap opera sure is getting intense!

Matt: NO! You're actually about to _run over someone!_

Elle (spinning back around): AAAACK!

Elle slams on her brakes as Dale and Matt slam into the back on the seats. Outside they see Peter, standing in the middle of the road.

Elle: Is that?

Matt: It's Peter….

Elle: Peter Petrelli?

Dale: _The host of that Bingo Show_?

Elle gets out of the car and approaches him.

Elle: Hey stranger, long time no see…..So….how's everything been.

Peter: Dale…..

Elle: Did you just say 'Dale?!

Dale gets out of the car.

Dale (his arm charging with electricity): I don't have time for this, move out of the way or I will kill….

Dale is interrupted by Peter placing his hand on Dale's face.

Dale: Wha!?

Dale's body starts to convulse as particles of electricity surge through Peter's arm.

Dale: Urrrgh…..(falls to the ground).

Matt: Geez!

Elle: That was unexpected….

Matt: Well, um….thanks man, that's pretty cool of you and all….

Peter: Stay back!

Matt and Elle do exactly that.

Peter: I still have a job to do……..and I don't want to hurt you…….but keep your distance….._or you might be next_.

Matt: And what exactly do you mean by that?

Elle: Ugh….

She turns around and in a flash, Peter disappears.

Matt: And he's gone….._like sands through the hour glass_….._for_ _these are the days of our lives_.

Elle: What the hell are you talking about?!…..

Matt: I wish I knew, Elle….._I wish I knew_.

Elle: I'm leaving you here.

_Hiro and Ando  
On the runway of that one airport in New York  
Hurry now so you can catch the in-flight movie 'Snakes On A Plane 2', a film so real you can feel the intensity of Samuel L. Jackson screaming in your face!_

Hiro: This is it, Ando.

Ando: Yes….it's a plane.

Hiro: Let's hurry and board it.

They run up the steps to the door.

Krunk The Bodyguard: Excuse me? Who are you…..?

Hiro: Uh…..the entertainment.

Krunk: We don't have entertainment.

Hiro: You do now! For we are…..(looks at Ando for ideas)

Ando: Sonny and Cher!

Hiro: Uh….

Krunk: _Krunk Smash!_

Hiro: EEP! Try that again…

-_REWIND-_

Hiro: Let's board the plane now…

They run up the stairs.

Krunk: Who are you?

Hiro: I'm Hiro.

Ando: I'm Ando.

Hiro: And we are….

Ando: Journalists……Police Officers……Salesmen…..Wizards!

Krunk: Which one is it?

Hiro: ….uh…..Wizards?

Krunk: _KRUNK SMASH!_

Hiro: This is getting us nowhere….I KNOW!

-_REWIND-_

Krunk: What the?!

Hiro walks up in a blonde wig and a sparkly dress, Ando is in a suit.

Hiro: Hello there! I am a model, Heidi Klum…..

Ando: And I'm a Seal! _ARF! ARF!_

Hiro (smacking Ando's arm): No Ando! You're the singer, _Seal! _Not an actual one, did you not learn anything in rehearsal?!

Ando: We didn't rehearse anything!

Hiro (nervously to the guard): Heh, heh….well, you see…..there was that one time Elle and The Haitian were trying to get on a train….and…it worked for them….so…..yeah…..

Krunk: _Krunk Double Smash!_

Hiro: Oh forget this!

He grabs Ando's arm and goes back in time 3 minutes, _then teleports ON the plane_.

Hiro: There…..Okay, let's do this.

Hiro and Ando walk to the rear cabin and bust through the door…_instead of just teleporting to the other side_.

Hiro: Mrs. Petrelli!

Angela is sitting with Molly. She jumps to her feet.

Angela: What are you doing here!?..._And what's with your hair?_ (Pointing out Hiro _who still has his Heidi Klum wig on_)

Hiro: Oh, whoops!...(He throws it to the side). Mrs. Petrelli, we have to stop this plane.

Angela: You're too late! It's taking off already…..and you can't stop it!

Hiro: Mrs. Petrelli….why are you acting….

Angela: You haven't caught on yet have you…..I'm not the Angela Petrelli you all know and love.

Ando: I don't recall having any feelings of 'love' toward Mrs. Petrelli, she's quite mischievous and sneaky.

Hiro: _She's not here!?_...Oh please don't say _she's in another castle_. I've had too many nightmares from playing _Mario Brothers!_

Angela: SILENCE! You're not getting out of here with the girl. It is my responsibility to bring her back…

Hiro: I….don't know what's going on.

Suddenly, Future Hiro appears.

Hiro: HUH!? Why are you here?

Future Hiro: I don't have time to explain….

Angela reaches down for a knife and flings it at Hiro, who freezes time as the blade is inches away form his face.

Future Hiro: Good, you have done well.

Hiro: What are you doing here? You sent me to stop the plane…..

Future Hiro: Hiro…..I am not really your future self….

Hiro: You're not….?

Future Hiro: No…..I don't have time to explain this…..but…….I am you….._but from an alternate reality_….much like this version of Angela you see.

Hiro: Uh…..what?

Ando: Where is the actual Mrs. Petrelli?

Future Hiro: In her home in Paris. She tricked Mohinder into letting her take care of Molly until things calmed down. But it was all a part of her game….

Hiro: Huh?

Future Hiro (aka Alt-Hiro): It sounds crazy but you have to believe me. I had to lie to you; it was the only way to prevent this girl from falling into the wrong hands.

Hiro: Why did I have to come here? Where is my future self then?

Alt-Hiro: There is no Future Hiro…….

Hiro: No….Future Me?

Alt-Hiro: Right…..after the recent events….you will have no future….at least not in this world.

Hiro: Have no future?

Alt-Hiro: I have broken a very important law…and I'm about to die in a matter of minutes. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but I must save this girl…and you are the only one who can return in my place.

Hiro: WHAT!?

Alt-Hiro walks over and teleports Molly out of the plane. Time resumes.

Ando: What happened?

Angela notices that Molly is gone.

Angela: GRR!

Ando: AHH! She's angry, do something Hiro….

Angela: You're not going anywhere.

She places a hand on the interior wall; the plane starts to shake violently.

Ando: Bad, bad, bad, bad…..

Hiro: I can't…..I can't use my power!

Ando: Well, at least this is happening at the _most inopportune time!_

The airplane continues to shake violently…..then disappears into thin air………..

_Claire Bennet  
Claire's Home Economics Class  
Uh oh, Zach Morris is skipping class again. Hope Mr. Belding doesn't catch him_…._wait, wrong school_.

Claire is getting her things ready for her final exam.

Audrey (classmate): I can't believe Sunny isn't here, it's the final exam. This is the most important cake we have ever baked.

Claire: Yeah….it's strange isn't it…..

Suddenly, _Peter and Nathan walk into the classroom_.

Claire: What the!?

Nathan (to Peter): We finally found her class…..I hope you know what you're doing…

Peter: Leave it to me……Good afternoon class, I am your substitute teacher….um….._Mr. Peter_…._son_……and this is my assistant…..Bob.

Random Student: Uh….that's Nathan Petrelli.

Nathan (to Peter): Wanna try that again?

Peter: Yeah, better think of something fast.

Nathan: Or you _can go back in time 3 minutes and try this spectacle again_…._or stop time and talk to Claire alone_……_or go back to before she got to school_. You know, _any of the easy options_.

Peter: Now, why would I do that?!

Nathan: Ugh….

Peter: You're right….this is Mr. Petrelli…..but I'm still whoever I said I was.

Nathan: -Groan-

Peter: Now, I'm sure we have a lot of stuff to do today….

Claire stands there with her face buried in her hands.

Student: Why is there a substitute on the last day of school? On the final exam at that….

Peter: Stop asking questions.

Another classmate leans over to Claire.

Student: Hey Claire….wasn't that guy your lawyer from….

Claire: Nope, don't know what you're talking about.

Another Student: Dude! You suck, where's our teacher?!

Peter: HEY! Don't sass me, young man. (He looks around) _I have a whisk_….._don't make me use it_.

Nathan points to Claire and then nods in the direction out in the hall. She gets up out of her seat and walks past Peter, loading up some eggs.

Peter: Come on, punk! Wanna tussle?! We'll tussle! (Gets smacked in the head with a muffin)…_Who threw that?!_

Nathan closes the door behind Claire out in the hallway.

Claire: Um….hey.

Nathan: Hey.

Claire: What are you guys doing here?

Nathan: Listen, we got sent by Hiro….from the future……I think.. Anyway, you can't go through with your Graduation.

Claire: What!? Why not?

Nathan: Something terrible is going to happen….

Claire: Ah,…….._Save the Cheerleader_…..here we go again…

Nathan: No….more like _Prevent the Cheerleader from graduating High School_……_Save the world_…..

Claire: What's going on this time?

Nathan: Um…let's talk…..

Claire: We're already talking.

Nathan: Then we'll walk and talk.

_Jessica and Micah Sanders  
Driving down the road  
and every time a car alarm goes off, an Angel gets its wings_……_wait that's not right_……

Micah: Mom, is everything alright?

Jessica: Of course it is! You have nothing to be worried about.

Micah: Well, that right there make me already suspicious……Mom, look!

Jessica looks over to see Matt and Elle trying to hitchhike.

Matt: I hate walking…

Elle: I'm not carrying you again, so you can forget it!

Matt: Aww….

Elle: LOOK! Someone's coming….Hurry…._go jump in front of their car!_

Matt: I'm not falling for that again!

Elle (waving): Hey! Stop! We need a ride! My car is broken and stuff!

Jessica pulls the car over. She instantly notices Matt.

Matt and Jessica (to each other): _IT'S YOU!_

Jessica hops out of the car wearing her _Kill Bill yellow jumpsuit_. She and Matt both draw their swords.

Jessica: I have a score to settle.

Matt: Indeed!

The go at it.

_CLINK! CLINK! CLINK! CLINK! CLINK! CLANK! CLINK! CLINK!_

And back to reality….

Elle (staring at Matt): Uh…

Matt: Sorry, _nerd-ing out for a second_.

Elle: Can you give us a lift? We promise not to pay you!

Jessica: Uh…No.

Matt: Works for us! Let's continue walking!

Elle: What is your problem?

Matt: This is _Jessica_! She's a nasty, nasty, vile woman.

Elle: You're just paranoid.

Matt: _I've been living with her!_ She is not nice at all!

-FLASHBACK-

Matt is sitting in the tub enjoying his bubble bath.

Matt (singing): _Rubber Duckie, you're the one! You make bath time lots of fun!_

Jessica bursts through the door.

Jessica: _TOASTER!_

She throws a plugged in toaster into Matt's bubble bath time.

Matt: EEEEK!

_ZZZZZAAAAPPP!!_

-FIN-

Matt: SEE!?

Elle: And….I should be blaming her…._why?_

Matt: Hmph!

Elle spins around.

Elle: Listen toots!

Jessica: Did you just call me _toots?_

Elle: I have had a rough day! You let us ride with you or I will destroy you with my _shock-i-ness_!

Jessica: Aw….Micah, please get out of the car so I can throw it at these nice people.

Micah: ….I….uh….

Matt: She said '_people'_? It's not just me! I feel so loved.

Jessica: Oh you'll be receiving most of the car.

Matt: Drat!

Elle: Come on, lady! We don't have time for this.

Jessica: Micah, cover your eyes; I don't want you to hear these people screaming.

Micah: Um….that's….nevermind….

Jessica rips off the car door and swings it. Elle ducks and it lobs into Matt.

Matt: OOF! (The force sends him flying over a few feet).

Still ducking, Elle grabs Jessica's ankle and gives her a good jolt, which sends her to the ground.

Micah: Mom?

Jessica returns back as Niki, completely confused.

Niki: What the?...Where am I?...

Elle: Oh great! I swear, _if one more person gets amnesia, I am going to scream!_

Niki: No…no….I uh…..Hold on a sec.

She walks over to the car.

Niki: Micah, are you okay….

Micah: Yeah……

Niki: Do you know what happened?

Micah: I was at the apartment, you came in, kicked a lot of guy's butts. Then said we were leaving, drove out here ran into Matt and that girl….

Niki: Ok…..we should probably head back then….

Micah: You hit Parkman really hard.

Niki: No, _he still deserved it_.

Matt: Ugh….

Elle: Do you have a phone I can use? Mine was kinda roughed up and doesn't work anymore…

Micah: Oh! I can fix it!

Elle: Um…okay.

She hands him her phone, which after a minute, comes back on.

Micah: There you go, good as new.

Elle: Wow! Thanks!...(She dials it and gets in the car)

Matt: Can someone pick me up?...I think I'm broken everywhere.

Elle calls Noah….Elsewhere, Noah is running down a back alley.

Noah (answering): _-Huff- -Puff-_….Where the hell are you two?!

Elle: Well hello to you, _Donald Grump_.

Noah: We've got a problem.

Elle: We sure do, your phone etiquette is horrible!

Noah: Not that, you dolt!

Elle: See!?

Noah: There's something wrong with The Haitian.

Elle: Duh!

Noah: Oh…nevermind, I can't explain it. Get your butt back here as soon as possible.

Elle: Oooh! Did the Haitian turn evil!? I always knew he was sinister…..See…I won the bet.

Noah (stops to take a breath): Bet?

Elle: A long time ago I bet you that the Haitian was actually evil, so I win!

Noah: Fine, whatever…Get moving!

Elle: No, no…..since I won the bet, you have to fill your end of the bargain.

Noah: Now!?

Elle: Yes.

Noah: Fine!...-ahem-….._Good Morning Angels._

Elle: _Good Morning Charlie_.

Noah: NOW MOVE IT!!

(Click)

Elle: I still won…...

_Thomas Fox  
Walking down the road  
Surely nothing bad is about to happen_

Thomas Fox (whose car broke down, which is happening quite a bit lately) is walking down the street, _Sylar emerges from the bushes_….though stuck on a branch.

Sylar: _Hello Thomas_. (He tries to play off not being hung on the branch, and rips his shirt).

Fox: Hmm….

Sylar: We meet at last.

Fox: How long have you been hiding in those bushes?

Sylar: Long enough….It's time for you to die!

Fox: Hah! Don't bother…..I know about you….and I have no powers that are any use to you….so you would be wasting your time.

Sylar: Wrong sir…..you _have the power to tell me where your daughter is_…..so….then I can kill her……and….then….take her power…..you're can pretty much figure out where I'm going with this….

Fox: That's the best you can come up with?!

Sylar: ….uh….well, yeah……hmmm……Who cares? _Tell me where she is or I'll chop your scalp off!_

Fox: That doesn't sound very threatening……

Sylar: Oh….it is….

Fox spins around to see Peter. He pulls out his gun and fires….Peter telekinetically sends the bullet back _into Fox's throat_.

Sylar: GAH!

Fox slumps to the ground.

Sylar: _OKAY THAT DOES IT!!_...What the hell is wrong with you?!

Peter: What do you mean?

Sylar: That's like….the second or third time you took away a kill from me and it's sooooo not cool!

Peter: Sorry, it was an accident.

Sylar: An accident, huh? What happened to you anyway? Shouldn't you be saving people…not killing them…..oh no…..no, no, no…..

Peter: What is it?

Sylar: I haven't killed anybody in a while….and I'm trying to convince _you to be a good guy_…..I think I'm going to be sick.

Sylar whips out a paper bag and starts hyperventilating.

Peter: The girl is graduating tonight……she'll be at the community center, that's where they're holding it.

Sylar: Why are you telling me this?

Peter: _So you can witness me killing her_ _before you get the chance_.

Sylar: Well, that's kinda rude…….

Peter: See you tonight!

He vanishes…..

Sylar: Seriously….he's really starting to piss me off…….Who am I talking to?!

_Peter, Nathan, Claire  
Claire's School  
Schoooool's out for summer! Schooooool's out for-ever!_..._Not yet! HEY! Get back in your seats!_

Nathan and Claire are walking through the courtyard, Peter (covered in flour and an assortment of food) tags along.

Peter: Those kids are vicious!

Nathan: It has come to our understanding that someone is planning to expose you in front of everybody at tonight's Graduation Ceremony.

Claire: Oh no! Naked in front of the school? It's like my worst nightmare….Well, _second worst_.

(Cut to a flashback of Claire and Sylar making out)

Claire: Uh….You don't need to show that!

(LOOK! They're making out again!)

Claire: _WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?_

Nathan: It's not really a…clothing issue…..

Claire: What?

Nathan: It's a…..um…..a thing with your….uh….ability.

Peter (in a mega-phone): …_HE MEANS THAT SOMEONE IS PLANNING TO EXPOSE YOUR POWERS TO THE WORLD!!_…

Nathan shoves Peter into the nearby fountain. _SPLOOSH!_

Claire: How is someone going to expose my power to the entire school?

Nathan: I don't know, but if they succeed….all hell will break loose.

Claire: I'll be fine….I mean…think about it. If I didn't go to tonight's ceremony….that would only mean the bad guy has won? Right?

Nathan: ….no.

Claire: No?

Nathan: No.

Claire: How?

Nathan: Well…..it would just be better….that's why.

Claire: Um…..you know what? No! I must go tonight….we can catch this person….if I have you and Peter….

Claire looks over at Peter shaking himself off.

Claire: and….maybe another person….We can end this…..

Nathan: I'll think about it.

Claire: Well, you better think fast. The ceremony is in 2 hours.

Nathan: 2 hours?! What is up with your school!?

Claire shrugs.

Meanwhile, back at Mohinder's apartment.

Mohinder is on the phone with a window repair people, Alt-Hiro and Molly come bursting in.

Mohinder: Molly! What are you doing here?

Alt-Hiro: Dr. Suresh, you must hide this girl, do not trust her with anybody…

Mohinder: Where is Mrs. Petrelli?

Alt-Hiro: She is not the Angela Petrelli you know of….as I am not the Hiro you know of as well.

Mohinder: I'm confused.

Alt-Hiro: There is no time! Keep her safe, make sure nobody gets to her….something terrible is going to happen soon….

Mohinder: Well, I could've told you that!

--

Elsewhere, a man is staring out a window in the pouring rain. He looks at his clip-board. He scratches out the name '_Hiro Nakamura_'.

--

Alt-Hiro: Urrgh…..

He falls to the floor……dead.

Mohinder: What in the…..?

Meanwhile, a car pulls up to a parking garage. Noah gets into the passenger seat. Niki is still driving. Elle, Matt and Micah are in the back. The radio is tuned to a country station, the gas tank is about 1/3rd of the way full, and has about 500 more miles before it needs an oil change.

Niki: That wasn't necessary.

Noah: Go that way….

Elle: What's going on, Mr. B?

Noah: When Mohinder and I left while _you two were pigging out_…

Elle: We weren't pigging out!

Matt: Yeah!...Oh no, I have chili on my shirt….._wait, when was the last time I had chili_…..?

Noah: We tried to go back to Mohinder's to see if he had any information on the Haitian's unusual behavior and that stupid tattoo. There was a book, the Haitian ran off with it.

Elle: You let him escape?! That was pretty careless of you, Mr. B….

Noah: Quiet, you!

Niki: There he is!

She rounds the corner to see the Haitian continue to run. She floors it, running into him; he rolls over the top of the hood and falls to the ground. Noah hops out of the car, gun drawn.

Noah: Okay, I want answers now.

Elle runs up and points a _Super Soaker gun_ at him.

Elle: Start talking…..or your about to get wet!

Noah: Uh….right. (Rolls eyes)….Who are you?

Haitian: I can't tell you anything……

Noah: Why not?

Haitian: …._He's watching_…..

Elle: Who?

Haitian: I can't……

Noah: Where is the book?

Noah: I destroyed it….

Noah: Well, that's just great….

Haitian: I have to follow a law…..I will be eliminated if I break the law……

Elle: If you don't answer our questions…._I'll break your face_…..or give it a good zap! Whatever looks cooler…..

Noah: Good comeback there; _Elle, Texas Ranger_.

Elle: Thanks…..but I'm not from Texas.

Noah: Nevermind…

Haitian: I am a _doppelganger_…..and am from a different reality than yours…..I had to come with you so I can get the book; that was my mission.

Noah: If you're a doppelganger…..where's the real Haitian?

Haitian: He's still at the hospital in the intensive care unit. I faked my illness to tag along with you so I could get the book….

Elle: What's up with this different reality thing?

Haitian: No! I can't tell you, I've said too much…..

Noah (cocking his gun): Spill it….

Haitian: ….I don't know much about it myself…..but beyond this world lies an alternative one….darker…..corrupt…..he has created it…..

Noah: Who?

Haitian: We call him 'The Sleeper'…..he has been asleep for a long time……he…created that reality…..and uses this one to absorb information……and when the time is right…..and he awakens. Our worlds will become one….and all that is good will come to an end.

Elle: Well that sucks.

Haitian: I can't tell you anymore…..he knows that I've broken the law…..

Elle: If he's asleep how does he know this?

Haitian: He is awake in the other world…just not this one…...he can monitor any being that comes from his world…..

Noah: …..

Haitian: ……He can see me….

--

On the clip-board, a line gets drawn through the Haitian's name

--

Noah: What do we do to stop this?

Haitian: You can't…..stop it…..

He falls back to the ground.

Elle: He's dead!?

Noah: The Haitian from this other world….our Haitian is still in the hospital…._Weren't you paying attention?!_

Elle: Not really.

Noah: We need to go; _Claire's graduation is going to start soon_.

Peter, Nathan, and Claire walk back into the house to see Sylar holding Sandra hostage with a knife.

Claire: Mom!

Sylar: Hello, Claire…..

Claire: Not you! Don't you have a hobby or something?

Sylar: Well, my book club is on Monday through Wednesday….I have a cooking class on Thursday….and swimming lessons on the weekend. Today being Friday you caught me on the one day of the week I am off!

Claire: Well, _la-di-dah! Lucky us_…

Peter: Sylar! What are you doing here?

Sylar: YOU! Oooooh, you think you're so tough don't you?

Peter: Actually I do, thank you!

Sylar: You've stolen my kill for the last time….

Peter: What are you talking about?

Sylar: Oh please, you killed Darren Miller, Thomas Fox, and who knows who else…..

Nathan: Sarah McGregor…….Allegedly…..

Peter: I didn't kill any of those people!

Sylar: Well, than you have a clone running around somewhere…..or you absorbed Niki Sanders' power by accident.

Peter: Hey, that's a pretty good theory.

Nathan: That would've made a lot more sense.

Claire: Yeah.

Sandra nods.

Sylar: Enough! Peter, whatever you are up to….I'm going to end it…..I'm going to kill you.

Peter: Yeah, good luck with that.

Sylar: Than Claire….

Claire: Um…we kinda established that you can't.

Sylar: Then Nathan.

Nathan: Uh…..

Sylar: But I'll spare Mr. Muggles…..cause he's just precious.

Sandra: He is, isn't he?

Peter: That's it! I won't stand here while you continue your reign of villainy…..This…..will….be….our….final…..battle………._after I go to the bathroom_.

Peter runs off.

Claire: …..

Nathan: …..

Sylar: …..

Sandra: …..

Mr. Muggles: ……

Nathan: ……

Sandra: ……

Sylar scoffs.

Claire: Anybody else uncomfortable?

Everyone agrees.

Sylar: He's taking forever! I don't have all day here!

Sandra: Can I offer any of you a drink?….Maybe a Rice Krispy treat?

Sylar: I can go for some tea.

Nathan: Yeah, I'm a little parched.

Claire: Me too.

Sandra: Great. Well, I'll be right back…..

10 minutes later.

Nathan, Claire, Sandra, and Sylar are sitting around the table eating Rice Krispy treats and drinking tea.

Sylar: So I say to the guy…"Ravioli?!...What's that?"

Everybody starts laughing…

Sandra: I don't get it.

Peter comes back.

Claire: Finally!

Nathan: I hope you washed your hands.

Peter: No, I was looking at Claire's cheerleader trophies. I forgot to go to the bathroom! Be right back….

Everybody groans.

3 minutes later.

Sylar: Are you finally done?!

Peter: …..Yes.

Sylar: Okay, where was I?

Sandra: You had me held up with a knife.

Claire: Yeah, and Nathan and I were over here.

Sylar: Okay, okay….

They all get back in position.

Peter: We ready?...And……_ACTION!_

Sylar: So pretty much I'm going to kill you all.

Peter: Not if I can help it!

Peter flings his arm, sending Sylar flying into a glass case.

Peter (to Nathan): Get Claire and Mrs. Bennet out of here!

Nathan proceeds to do that. Peter walks over to Sylar's unconscious body. Sylar (who astral projects) appears behind Peter and stabs him in the back with a knife.

Sylar: Did you forget I picked up that trick from Victor Hale?

Peter: Did you forget I can heal myself?

Sylar: Oh crap, I did.

Peter elbows Sylar in the nose and jumps over to the other side of the room.

Sylar: Not bad……

Peter: Is that all you got?

Sylar: Nope.

Sylar forms a sphere of ice, an ability he got from Rachel Prescott, and lobs it at Peter's head.

_-CRACK-_

Peter: OW!...That really hurt….

Sylar: Oooh, sorry….wait, _why the hell am I apologizing_….I think I'm running a fever.

Peter (charging toward Sylar): AAAHHH!

Peter tackles Sylar and they engage in a _slapping match_.

Peter: Take that!

Sylar: Ow! Quit it!

Nathan (watching in the window): That's just pathetic.

Claire: Yeah….I really don't have time for this.

Claire walks back inside past Peter and Sylar who are pulling each other's hair.

Claire: I'm not cleaning up this mess!

She proceeds upstairs to change her clothes.

Later that night…..at The Graduation.

Noah enters the bleachers, and sits next to Sandra and Lyle.

Sandra: There you are; I thought you weren't going to make it.

Noah: It's been a crazy day.

Elle and the real Haitian (using crutches) plop down next to him.

Elle: I'm glad I made it too.

Noah: That's funny since I didn't recall inviting you.

Elle: Uh…..

Noah (to The Haitian): It's good to have you back too….

Haitian: Thanks.

Elle: Yeah, didn't he plant one on Mrs. Bennet earlier because he had that weird 'whoever I touch I become' power.

Noah: It wasn't him….it was The Haitian from another universe……again _you weren't paying attention_….

Elle: Hmm…

Noah: Whatever, there's been enough weird things these past couple of weeks. I just want to go home after this, settle down, and drink some tea.

Sandra: Oh, sorry honey, _Sylar drank the rest of the tea_.

Noah: I beg your pardon?

Announcer: And up next….Claire Flintstone!

Noah: Oh crap, I forgot to have that changed…..

Claire walks up and accepts her diploma. In the cross-hairs of a sniper rifle, Sunny is ready to strike, when Peter (the bad one) walks up behind her.

Peter: Now, what exactly are you trying to prove here, by shooting Claire?

Sunny: I want to expose her power to the world….

Peter: Why?

Sunny: She thinks she's special….she needs to be destroyed.

Peter: Don't bother with her…..we have bigger plans.

Sunny: Are you going to kill me?...

Peter laughs and puts his arm around Sunny.

Peter: ….Probably.

Sunny: …..Why?

Peter: It's all a part of the game….

Sunny: Game?

Peter: _Where I come from_…..I work for a man….who sent me on a mission to take out 7 specific people….I was only able to get 5.

Sunny: Who did you miss?

Peter: You…..and a man named Simon Prescott…….Someone else killed him….and I lost the game….

Sunny: So what?

Peter: When I lost the game I became cursed, a curse that meant whenever I didn't kill somebody and take their power….My body would begin to deteriorate, my nerves would set on fire, and I would endure an incomprehensible amount of pain.

Sunny: That's not cool….

Peter: No, it's not.

Sunny: Well, if you lost the game and are destined to suffer anyway. Why do you have to kill me?

Peter: Well, I do have to stay healthy…..

Sunny: Well, what about Claire!? Kill her!

Peter: The only people I have killed were the ones on the list….others that I have killed beyond that were ones whose hearts were not pure…..Claire….and others like her……_are the only ones who can save us._

Sunny: …..

Peter: Now (turning to Sunny) I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Sunny: oh…..crap….

Back down on the lower lever, Peter (good) and Nathan were sitting in their seats.

Nathan: Everything seems to be going good.

Peter: Yeah, hey, have you heard from mom?

Nathan: Yeah, she's finished moving into her house in Paris. We're supposed to go visit her sometime or we're grounded.

Peter turns around to see Claire with her family.

Peter: Sounds good.

Nathan: By the way, what did you end up doing with Sylar?

Peter: Oh, don't worry about him, bro. I put him where he'll never be able to bother us again.

In a cemetery….six feet under.

Sylar (in a coffin): HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! You'll pay for this, Peter Petrelli!

Nathan: Uh….you do realize he can alter time? He can just teleport out of there.

Peter: He did…and came back….and we fought again. Then I came up with an even better idea. A little trick I picked up from him….

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of Antarctica…..Sylar is lying there, frozen in a giant patch of ice.

Back at Mohinder's Apartment.

Niki and Matt are sitting on the couch watching t.v. Mohinder walks by.

Mohinder: When did you two get back?

Matt: Oh, not too long ago.

Mohinder: Well, I sure did have an exciting day; I don't know about you two….it was…._extraordinary._

Matt: Oh brother, I did not miss this.

Niki: No joking.

Mohinder: It almost makes me want to break out in one of my voice-overs!

Niki and Matt both take off running. Mohinder hops over the couch and changes the channel.

_Hiro and Ando  
Unknown_

Hiro wakes up, in an above average looking prison cell. He looks around to see Ando watching t.v.

Hiro: Ando! What are you doing?!

Ando: What does it look like? This thing has got over 800 channels!

From outside the cell, Alt-Angela watches.

Angela: Unbelievable.

Voice: You failed your mission….you did not get the girl. You know the rules…..

Angela: I didn't get the girl….but I got someone just as good…..give me some more time….and she will be ours.

Voice: I need her information so I can create her alternate form…..you have 1 week.

Angela: It will be done…..

Hiro clenches his face….but nothing happens.

Hiro: Oh, this isn't good. Now I really can't use my power….

He walks over to a window and looks out to a city; the sky is dark and blood red. People are rioting in the streets.

Hiro: This isn't good at all…..

_END OF VOLUME 2: Minds  
START OF VOLUME 3: Alternatives_

_New York City  
November 11, 2011_

A sickly young man is lying in a hospital bed, in a coma. Several men are at his bedside.

Man: It is almost time….

The young man continues to lie there as a clock ticks next to him.

11:11:09  
11:11:10  
11:11:11  
11:11:11  
Time stops……

The young man's eyes open slowly, he gasps for air.

Man: Welcome back, sir…

Young Man: Where am I?

Man: …..You're awake…..in the real world.

Young Man: Good…..very good…

_He walks outside; looking up…as the sky begins to bleed  
Havoc begins to spread amongst the people  
they begin to kill, steal, and begin to commit other horrible acts  
it was all his master plan, it was all he has ever wanted  
The sleeper is now awake, his world is about to begin  
ours is about to end_.

This vision is turned into a painting, done by none other than Peter Petrelli, making some finishing touches.

Peter: ….and that class….is how you draw a picture of the end of the world…..

Student: How many times do we have to tell you, this is _Home-Ec, not Art Class!_

Peter: Whine, whine, whine! Such ingrates….You all have detention until the end of forever!

The students start booing and throwing food.

Peter: GAH!...(Ducking behind the counter)…..mmm….cookie…..

END

--

Again, thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. The new volume should be up soon!


	16. Awakening

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 16: Awakening

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

_-Volume 3: Alternatives-_

_-Several years in the future-_

Peter is running as fast as he can, he ends up in a garage of some sort. Hearing the loading of a pistol….he turns around to see _The Trix Rabbit_.

Peter: What are you doing, Trix Rabbit?...It's me…..Peter…..Put down the gun….

Trix Rabbit: Can't……..It ends here…

Peter: Uh….wait, wait….hold on a second…….I can go back before any of this has ever happened.

Trix Rabbit: No….you're too late…..

Peter: How did it ever come to this?!

Trix Rabbit: I'm different remember….._special_….

He aims the gun.

Trix Rabbit: ...…..all those selfish brats never letting me have any of my cereal…_IT HAS MY FACE ON THE BOX FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!_

Peter: But……_Silly rabbit_….._Trix are for kids_.

Trix Rabbit: _Trix are for kids, Trix are for kids_….When are Trix ever going to be _for me!?_…..I have feelings too you know!!…….

Peter: I can fix….all of this……..please….

The Trix Rabbit thinks for a second…

Trix Rabbit: Well….maybe you can….

He then spots Peter chowing down on a bowl of Trix.

Peter: uh…..(The throws the bowl off to the side)….

Trix Rabbit (raising the gun): …I'm sorry Peter…..…_I've always loved you_….

Peter (swooning): You have?!

Trix Rabbit: _Of course not you idiot!_

Peter: Oh….

He fires the pistol as Peter freezes time, slowly moving to the side to dodge the bullet, he turns around, shifts to the side again, does a little dance, and spins back round _to find him self in the same position where he started in_.

Peter: Uh oh….

The bullet hits Peter in the chest.

Peter: ACK!...oh that smarts…..

-The Present-

_The Bennett Family  
On the road, driving in the Bennett car  
Currently filming National Lampoon's Superhero Vacation_

Sandra: OOOH! This is so exciting, I can't believe The Bennett's are moving to New York!

Noah: Woopty Doo….

Claire: I just can't believe I had to leave behind all my friends and activities.

Lyle: Friends? Like the _chocolate milk obsessed girl who could turn invisible who wanted to destroy you_. Or activities like _being framed for the murder of your English teacher and having to go to court_?

Claire: New York, here we come….

Claire looks over to see some random man sitting next to her.

Claire: Uh…dad?

Noah: Just ignore him, Claire-Bear. It usually works for me.

Sandra: Isn't that right, Mr. Muggles?

Scott Baio (in a dog costume): Hello friends!

-_and also starring Scott Baio (of Charles In Charge fame!) as the role of Mr. Muggles-_

Claire: What?!

Sandra (leaning in the back seat): I actually have a secret….._that's not really Mr. Muggles._

Claire and Lyle: DUH!

Sandra: Mr. Muggles took a break to film his new movie!

Claire: Oh for Pete's sake!

--MOVIE TRAILER--

_In a world filled with endless Villainy one man…..no……one dog….is Earth's final hope._

_MR. MUGGLES is……MR. MUGGLES P.I_

Doctor Mad-Scientist: With this evil plan I just thought of while having some delicious waffles, I have created _THIS!_ This super secret evil vial of super secret evil stuff can destroy the world, especially if they fall into the wrong hands….which are mine….so the world is doomed.

Mr. Muggles hops up out of nowhere.

Mr. Muggles: WOOF!

Doctor Mad-Scientist: Oh blast! _It's Mr. Muggles!_

-With Jennifer Love Hewitt as the Lusty Barfly/Damsel In Distress-

JLH: Help me, Mr. Muggles!

A stuntman in a dog costume (not Scott Baio) runs around kicking everybody's butts.

JLH: My hero! Oh no….I'm getting kidnapped again!

Mr. Muggles jumps from the building into a helicopter, grabs Jennifer, and jumps out as the Helicopter explodes!

JLH: My hero! Oh no…..I've been kidnapped again!

Mr. Muggles scurries to the Super Secret Toxic Facility Plant….

Claire: _Okay, we get it!_

Scott (Muggles): Who wants to play a game?

Lyle: Uh….

Claire: Sure, whatever wraps this scene up quicker.

Scott: Okay….._I WIN!_

Claire: What?

Scott: It's called '_Scott Baio wins every time'_. It's something I've always played as a kid….it's my favorite game.

Claire: ….

Lyle: ……

Noah: …(Listening to his iPod)

Claire: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard….._this week_.

Scott: Okay, let's play something else……..CLAIRE WINS!…….But Scott Baio swoops in and steals it from her….meaning _Scott Baio wins again_! That one's called '_Someone almost wins every time but it just ends up being Scott Baio'_.

Claire: That's it! _I'm walking the rest of the way to New York._

_Mohinder Suresh_

_Mohinder's Apartment_

_Fortunately nowhere near 'Apartment 3G'…I hate that Comic Strip!_

Mohinder: Eureka!

He walks over to Niki Sanders and Matt Parkman, who have maintained their permanent positions on the couch in front of the TV.

Niki: What now!?

Mohinder: I think I have stumbled upon the most extraordinary thing ever!

Niki: Oh boy, I can't wait.

Mohinder: That's good because I'm about to tell you.

Niki: I was being sarcastic.

Mohinder: This…._syringe_. I believe it can lead to the source of all these abilities.

Matt: _What 'chu talkin about Mohinder?_

Niki: Don't ever talk like that again…

Mohinder: I have done some research, and found out that with this new machine I've created.

Niki: It just looks like an _Easy Bake Oven_. Now that I think about it, all your machines do.

Mohinder: No they don't!

He brings the machine over and opens it, _throwing out a Blueberry Muffin_.

Matt: Hey, that was mine!

Mohinder puts the syringe in there and sets it to 'Special' setting.

Niki: That's original.

Mohinder: Quiet you! And we wait 30 seconds….

Matt: Just in time for a commercial break…._Heroes will be right back after these messages!_

Niki punches him.

Matt: OOF!

--

Matt: Hi, I'm Matt Parkman and I wanted to tell you about this awesome new product!

Matt spills some coffee on the floor.

Matt: Oh no, I spilled coffee on this tile floor. It will never come up….unless if I use '_Incredi-Omni Clean'_. This stuff works on any surface.

Matt pours the liquid on the tile floor, which burns through the ground to the lower level.

Man (below): AHHHH! MY EYES!!

Matt: See?! Now that's what I call 'Incredi-Omni Clean'!

_Incredi-Omni Clean is not sold in stores, to order, use your phone and dial 555-1-877-44-RIPOFF and wait for the operator to get your credit card number, read off the number and expiration date of every card in your wallet and wait 5 to 7 business months. You may not receive Incredi-Omni clean immediately, in which case call back and throw in any bank account or Social Security numbers. If you do receive this product, do not use on surfaces. Side effects include DEATH!! _

_CALL NOW!!_

--

Niki: If I have to listen to one more _movie trailer or commercial, I'm going to scream!_

Mohinder: It's done!

Mohinder takes out the syringe.

Mohinder: This syringe….can give powers to anybody.

Matt: Why don't you inject yourself? We already have our powers….

Mohinder: Why in the world would I do that!?….That's why I have…_test subjects!_

Matt: COOL!….oh wait….not cool….

Mohinder sticks the needle in Matt's neck.

Matt: GURK!

Niki: Uh….

Mohinder: Now….we wait….

Niki: …..

Matt: …..

Mohinder: ……

Niki: Well!?

Matt: I don't see what the big deal is…..I don't feel….

Matt jumps to his feet.

Matt (singing): _I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a! I love to sing-a, about a sky of blue-a or tea for two-a….AHHHHH!!_

Niki: Uh….

Matt: _WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?_

Mohinder: Hmm….something must have gone wrong….

Matt: You think?!

Mohinder: It needs more work.

Matt: Must….shower…feel…..so dirty…..Uhhh…..

Niki hands Mohinder a 100 dollar bill.

Mohinder: See!? I told you it would work.

Niki: Okay, you win….but it was worth it….

_Hiro and Ando  
Unknown  
Hiro clearly upset that he's missing this week's episode of 'Lipstick Jungle'._

Hiro: I DON'T WATCH THAT!!

Ando: Who are you talking to?

Hiro: Uh…never mind. We have to think of a way to get out of here, fast!

Ando: Well, we can't teleport out of here of course.

Hiro: I have a plan….it's quite ingenious actually.

Hiro summons the guard over.

Hiro: _Let us out! PLEEEEEEAAAASE!_

Guard: No….

Hiro: Darn, I was almost sure that would've worked.

Ando: Uh-huh…..

Hiro: Where in the world are we, Ando?….

Hiro looks out the window to see the world in total disarray. The sky is red, and people are running through the streets in panic.

--_As the world turns, don't worry it's still turning_……._Heroes!--_

_Nathan Petrelli  
Walking down the hall to Peter's Apartment  
Oh no, it's those creepy twins from 'The Shining'! They want to play….forever…and ever….and…_

Nathan pounds on the door. Peter answers.

Peter: Oh, hey bro. What's up?

Nathan: Peter, I hate your apartment. Do you know how long it took me to find this place? And this floor….I've already bumped into Peter Pan, Peter Piper, Peter-Peter Pumpkin Eater, Peter Griffin, Peter Rabbit and Peter from Peter, Paul and Mary.

Peter: Yeah, those guys are my Poker Group. In fact we like to call ourselves _'Peter Petrelli's Punky Party People Having Popular Parties Partly With Poker Playing Peters'_…..Say THAT five times fast.

Nathan: _Peter Petrelli's Punky Part_….NO! I'm not getting into that.

Peter: Aww…..

Nathan: Are you ready yet? We have to help Mom move some crap in her new castle in Paris.

Peter: Sure, let me freshen up a bit.

Nathan follows Peter inside but is stopped by the gigantic amount of trash scattered across the floor. Amidst all the garbage we see…..

_CHAPTER 16: Awakening_

Nathan: GEEZ! Uh…Pete? Do you have carpet or tile? I can't tell…..

Peter: Yeah, sorry about the trash, I figured it didn't matter since I'm getting new carpet next week. I ordered that _'Incred-Omni Clean' stuff and it burnt a hole in my floor!_

Nathan: I see…..

Peter: Oh, totally forgot…last minute…but Claire is coming here to stay for the weekend.

Nathan: Uh…what?

Peter: Well, she asked if she could come stay here after she gets settled in the city. A lot of stuff has been happening and she would like a break…something about Mr. Muggles…..Cheerleading…..Gummi Bears…I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy watching '_House'_.

Nathan: Well, I don't know how long we're going to be in Paris….soo…..

Peter: She can come with us!

Nathan: Uh…I don't know Pete, this whole….family group thing….it's kinda starting to raise tensions…

Peter: What are you talking about?….Is this because Mom agreed to help Claire with her school play a few years ago?

--

Claire (dressed as Little Red Riding Hood): La La La! I'm off to see the wizard…I mean the Grandma….

She opens the door to Grandma's House.

Claire: Grandma! You in here? I brought goodies and some other fattening products…

She walks over to find Angela Petrelli.

Claire: Oh, grandma!…._What big teeth you have_….._and big Eyes_….._and smelly fur_….

Angela: _The wolf hasn't got here yet_…

Claire: Oh, whoops!

Angela (grabbing a rolling pin): Come here you little brat!

Claire: AHHHHH!

Nathan (in the audience): I really think she's going to bludgeon her to death.

Peter: Don't worry, _it's not like she'll just regenerate and heal from any wounds._

Someone next to Peter shoots him a strange look.

Peter: Uh….._Metaphorically speaking…._

Nathan sighs dejectedly.

--

Nathan: Well….sort of……

Peter: Oh please, Mom won't mind at all. Just you wait.

Nathan: -Groan-….

_Noah Bennett  
The S.S.H (Super Secret Headquarters)_

_Now In New York, I LOVE NEW YORK! (The state, not the show, or woman, or whatever)_

Noah enters the top floor of his new business only to be greeted by his partners in crime, The Haitian and that one girl.

Elle: That's _Elle Bishop, the queen of awesome-ness!_

Noah: Riiiiight. Anyway, good to see you two here. The family is unpacking from their long trip. Well, Claire is going to visit Peter, Lyle went to a friend's house, and Sandra and Scott Baio as Mr. Muggles went to a dog show or something….so I guess nobody is unpacking anything.

Elle: It's good to see you too, Mr. B. We have a lot of work to do!

Noah: Good, let's get to it.

Noah walks over and takes the cup of coffee from Elle's hand.

Noah: Thank you, Elle.

Elle: _HEY! That was mine, Jerk!_

Noah: Now, according to our radar and other intelligence Sylar is still somewhere in the world….our mission is to find him….offer him a nice steak dinner to lead him under a false sense of security…then kill him…..because he could be anywhere….plotting evil deeds….

Cut to Sylar, still frozen in solid Ice on the magical land of Antarctica, where Peter froze and sent him in last week's episode.

The Haitian walks over with some papers in his hand.

Haitian: We have received word that there is someone bearing Sylar's resemblance. He seems to be working in an office building downtown.

Noah: There is probably someone there with an ability for him to feed off….okay, team. Let's roll….

Meanwhile, back in the Alternate Universe where Hiro and Ando are imprisoned.

Hiro: Okay…I got it..

Ando: What?

Hiro: The plan to get out of here….

Ando: I'm waiting.

Hiro: Start throwing up.

Ando: What?!

Hiro: Start throwing up…..I'll get the guard.

Ando: I can't just….do it!

Hiro: Yes you can!

Ando: Can I fake throwing up?

Hiro: No! Then the guard won't believe it.

Ando: No, I can do this! Promise…

Hiro: Fine….okay….Here he comes! Go!

Ando: _BARF! BARF! BARF!_

Hiro: What was that!?

Ando: Uh….

Hiro turns around to see the guard standing before him.

Hiro: EEK! I mean….kind sir….my friend is sick.

Guard: No he's not….

Hiro: Yes, he is! Can't you see that!?

Ando: _BARF! BARF! BARF!_

Hiro: Uh….heh….

Guard: In this world….people don't get sick.

Hiro: Really?!….I mean…..Yes they do!

Guard: No…this is….the perfect world…..

The guard walks away.

Hiro: That was odd…..Good going, Ando. Way to get us out of here with that Academy Award winning performance.

Ando: I'd like to see you try.

Hiro: I will. Switch!

Hiro goes to the toilet and Ando stands at the door.

Ando: HELP! My friend is sick, I think he has _Saturday Night Fever!_

Hiro: I HAVE WHAT!?

Ando: Oh wait….that's a movie I saw last week…

Hiro: We're going to be here for the rest of our lives….

As Hiro and Ando are being watched on screen, a young man stands there….watching them…on screen.

Guard: Do you think they'll escape, master?

Young Man: I hope they do. Then we can use them for my master plan….Just in time….for my _awakening_.

Guard: Yes, that's nice. So…when is this supposed to happen again?

Young Man: On this particular day…..(He hands him a slip of paper)

Guard: November 11th, 2011.….at 11:11:11am.….uh….that's strange…

Young Man: It is my destiny…

Guard: Whatever….um…..but yeah, that's like…._3 years or so away_….

Young Man: Foolish man. The real world is a big place, we need time…manpower…and resources….this is not an overnight job. Soon their world and ours will become mine for the ruling….

Guard: Ooookay….

_Claire Bennett  
On her way to Peter's Apartment  
And Nathan's in the kitchen with Dinah_!!

Nathan: Who the hell is Dinah!?

Claire: Knock! Knock!

Peter: Who is it?!

Claire: Claire!

Peter: No, it's Peter.

Claire: NO…..I'm Claire.

Nathan: Peter….

Peter: Nathan, weren't you listening, she said she was Claire.

Claire: Nathan?

Peter: No, it's still Peter.

Nathan: Open the door already!!

Peter opens the door with Claire and her luggage.

Claire: Thanks for letting me stay for the weekend. My new place has just been crazy….

Meanwhile, a next door neighbor is spying on the Bennett house.

Martha: George! Isn't it strange those new folks have moved in but haven't unpacked yet. _Everything is still in the front yard_.

George: Whatever….

(Let's give a round of applause to George and Martha, 2 insignificant characters who only have 1 line in the chapter….)

Peter: Oh Claire, by the way…um….I kinda forgot that we're supposed to go to Paris to help out Mom…..our mom…..your grandmother….or you can call her _Grammy_….._Or Grand Ma-Ma_…..or my personal favorite_ Golden Grahams_!

Nathan: Mom told you never to call her that or she'll run you over with her car…

Peter: Oh pish posh…..anyway, how would you….Claire Bennett…like a trip to….Paris, France!?

Claire: Sure.

Peter: Oh….hmm….I was expecting a….well…little more of an excited response…

Claire: WOW! WOULD I EVER….!!

Peter: That's a little over the top….okay, let's try this again…

Nathan: -Sigh-……

Meanwhile, back at Mohinder's…..

Mohinder, Niki, and Matt are sitting at a judges table.

Niki: What the hell is this?

Mohinder: I'm glad you asked. You see, I have to get started back on my research and I need someone to use for testing. I can't use Mrs. Sanders because it just doesn't work….

Matt: Yeah!

Niki: Shut up.

Mohinder: And I can't use Matt because he just borks everything up.

Matt: Yeah!….Wait….no?

Niki: Bork isn't a word but I agree with you anyway.

Mohinder: So, we three good people are going to go through some _auditions_ and judge them accordingly to see who has the best power. And the winner gets to participate in an endless amount of boring tests and whatnot.

Matt: That's no fun.

Mohinder: Okay, let's get started….The first contestant is…Joann…..

A woman walks in front of the judges.

Mohinder: Hello Joann, _can you please tell the judges your name_?

Niki slams her head on the table.

Joann: I'm Joann, I'm from Montana, and I believe I have an extraordinary ability.

Mohinder: I'm already listening.

Niki: Ugh….okay, what is it?

Joann: Okay, first off….I want each one of you to _smell my breath_.

Mohinder: Uhh….

Niki: WHAT!?

Matt: I guess….

Joann breaths in Mohinder's face.

Mohinder: Oh dear lord, that's ghastly!

Niki (being approached): Keep walking.

Matt (next): OH MAN! That's awful…..What died in there? _Someone call CSI!_

Niki: Okay, we get it…

Joann: My breath is the essence of Garlic Liver Mustard Tuna Casserole On Moldy Rye Bread….topped with onions, fish oil, and more garlic.

Matt: Yum!

Joann: Now….watch….

Joann's cheeks puff out as she concentrates real hard….she then takes a deep breath.

Joann: Now smell!

Joann goes to each one of the judges.

Mohinder: Oh wow, that's….heavenly….

Niki: Minty, I guess….

Matt: Wow, you have good breath now…

Joann: Ta-Da!

Niki: You have the power to make your breath smell good?….._THAT SUCKS!_

Mohinder: Well….it is convenient I must say…but…I would need something a little more….uh…..Hmm…..I'm speechless….

Matt: That….._was the coolest super power I've ever seen in my entire life_. VOTE HER THROUGH!

Niki: No! That's a stupid power….

Matt: No it's not, I would love to have that.

Niki: It's called _mouth wash!_ DENIED!

Mohinder: Maybe this was a bad idea….

_Noah and Company_

_Downtown District  
Workin at the Car Wash!_

Noah: Okay, this is the place.

Elle: So….what are we supposed to be doing here?

Noah: Well, we don't want to alert Sylar to our whereabouts…

Elle: THAT'S RIGHT! So we're going to get you SYLAR! Or our names aren't Noah Bennett, Elle Bishop, and That Haitian Guy!

Noah: GRR!!

Elle: Whoops….

A bit later, Noah, The Haitian, and a _The Life-Size Talking Elle Doll _are standing in front of the building. The real Elle is back in the car which is locked from the outside.

Elle: You can't do this!!……_Save Me, Smallville!!_

Noah: That's the name of the _show, you moron!_ For the hundredth time, it's Superman!

Elle (disappointed): Oh….

Noah: Anyway…..let's start over..…..Okay, group let's do this….are we ready team?

Haitian: Yes…..

Noah: and…..(He nods to The Haitian, who pulls the _Elle Doll's string)_

Elle Doll: _I LOVE SHOPPING!…AND BUBBLEGUM……AND STICKERS….._

Noah: Uh…try it again, doesn't sound right.

The Haitian pulls the string again.

Elle Doll: _I love having hundreds of boyfriends, but what can I say? I'm just a girl…Tee Hee!_

Noah: Oh geez….try it again….

Elle Doll: _Now let's all sit down and have ourselves a nice big bowl of Strawberry Ice Cream!_

Noah: THAT'S DOES IT!!

Noah grabs a baseball bat and starts beating the living crap out of the Elle doll, much the horror of the real Elle.

Elle: AHHHH! Oh the humanity!

Peter, Nathan, and Claire appear in front of Angela Petrelli's new Castle estate in Paris, France.

Peter: Hello?! Mom, you home? It's your darling son, Peter……

Nathan: -_AHEM!-_

Peter: And Nathan needs a cough drop!

Nathan elbows him in the side.

Peter: Ow!

Angela emerges, dressed in Royal attire.

Nathan: Oh no……

Angela: Greetings, my wonderful children. Welcome to our castle.

Claire: _Our?_

Next to Angela appears an older gentleman….no worries…it's not Linderman.

Peter: Oh no, holy crap…._It's Linderman!!_

I JUST SAID IT WASN'T LINDERMAN!!

Peter: Oh, right…duh…

Older Man: Greetings young ones…..I am _Richard Bellevue Belmont Reginald Mallory Kain-Price Lancroft Wainwright The Third_.

Peter: _Cheese and Crackers! _That's one long name!

King Richard: It's been in my family for generations….well, at least twice….

Claire: What is this?

Angela: You see children….The King are I are….to be wed.

Claire: Uh….

Nathan: WHAT?!

Peter: Awesome! A wedding! I get to bring doves!

Nathan: Mom, you can't be…..wait a minute….

He turns to Peter.

Nathan: _No Doves!_

Peter: Come on!

Nathan: No, Peter. I'll tell you again, 'Doves plus Rice equals _Mess'_! Me and Heidi's wedding was a disaster enough….

--

Priest: Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to honor the marriage of Nathan Petrelli….and Heidi….uh….._Shama-Lama-Ding-Dong!_

Heidi: That's not my last name!

Priest: Okay, now we can wrap this up.

A Dove suddenly explodes…_POOF!_

Heidi: What in the world?!….Did that Dove just blow up?

Nathan: Peter brought _Doves and Rice_….we need to finish this fast.

Priest: Nathan, do you take this woman…

_POOF!_

Priest: ….do be your lawful wedded wife….

_POOF!_

Priest: …in sickness and in health….

_POOF!_

Priest: …for richer or poorer…..for better or worse….for instance if you _negligently fly out of the vehicle while your wife remains in the passenger seat as it runs off the road_….

Nathan: WHAT?!

Priest: Nevermind…For as long as you both shall live?

Nathan: I do.

Heidi: Me too.

Priest: You may now kiss the….

_POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF!_

Nathan stands there being covered in a barrage of exploded Dove feathers.

--

Angela: The king and I are to be wed in 3 days…then you two will be _Princes!_

Peter: _Congratulations, Claire_.

Claire: I think she was talking to you….

Peter: Oh….Yippie!

Angela (to Claire): And you….uh….I don't know….you will be…_Grand Step-Princess_!

Claire: Wow….thanks….I guess….

King Richard: Come, darling, we must prepare!

Angela: Yes, we must!

King Richard and Angela royally _slam the door in their faces_.

Peter: Oh great, _I guess we're on our own for lunch_.

Claire: Uh, I don't know about this.

Nathan: Something doesn't add up……

Claire: We need to see what's up with this creep….and if he's crooked, we have 3 days to stop this wedding.

Peter (reading): Well…According to _Entertainment Weekly's Top 100 Overused Tv/Movie Clichéd plots_…..In order to stop this wedding, we need to…

Nathan grabs the magazine and throws it in the moat.

Nathan: Would you stop wasting time?!

Peter: What did you do that for? I could've had this wrapped up by next week, _but if this story line lasts more than 6 episodes, _it's Nathan's fault!

Back at Mohinder's….

Niki: Okay….we have _Breath Changing Woman_.

Matt: Awesome!

Niki: ….we also went through a man who could conjure _oatmeal_.

Mohinder: That was interesting.

Niki: A man who could play _Air…Air Guitar_….

Mohinder: Nah….

Niki: and a woman who can recite all the lines from all _7000 Star Trek movies_….

Matt: Probably my second favorite….

Niki: Dammit Mohinder, these people's powers are terrible. We've wasted hours, I'm starving, and my butt is numb from sitting in these stupid chairs.

Matt: _Would you like some cheese with that whine?!_

Niki grabs Matt's arm and pulls it behind his back.

Matt: AHHH! I was being serious!

Niki looks on the table to see a slice of cheese and a glass of red wine.

Niki: Oh….um….hmm…..well….I'll just use that for the next stupid thing you do.

Matt: Gee, thanks!

Mohinder, looking at a file, smiles to himself.

Mohinder: Don't worry….we have one more contestant….

Niki: If you sound so confident about this one, why did we have this pointless competition?

Mohinder: Everything happens for a reason, my dear….

Niki: _Did you just call me a Deer?!_

Mohinder: No, it was….oh never mind….

Back in the alternate world….Hiro and Ando's cell opens….

Hiro: Gasp!

Ando: Double Gasp!

Guard: Come with me…..

Hiro and Ando walk with the Guard to the room of the mysterious young man.

Guard: The two real world Hiro Nakamura and Ando Masahashi, sir.

Young Man: Excellent……

The young man turns around.

Young Man: Good evening…My name is Daniel….and this is my world….

Hiro: Okay….I'm confused….

Daniel: …_and you're going to save it_…..

Hiro: Huh?!

Ando, not paying attention, is nibbling on a piece of cheese. Hiro still looks dumbfounded…….

_To Be Continued_…..


	17. Misconceptions

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 17: Misconceptions

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Mohinder: _Previously on Heroes_….

Noah and his merry band of misfits…

Elle: _WHAT DID HE CALL US!?_ Come on, you wanna box?! We'll box!

…were on the case of what happened to Sylar, Evil-Doer Extraordinaire.

Haitian: We have reason to believe he has taken employment at an office downtown.

Noah: Where his next target is I'm sure….

When actually…..

Sylar (frozen in solid ice in Antarctica): ……….Brr!

And little Micah Sanders, in a desperate attempt to help his family, found the coveted _Golden Ticket, to visit Matt Parkman's Chocolate Factory_.

Matt: And in this room, is one of my coolest contraptions. It pops out this stick of gum that is actually a 3 course meal….

Molly: MINE!!

She swipes it from him and pops it in her mouth.

Micah: What does it taste like, Molly?

Molly: …Hmm…..It's tomato soup!……..Oooh….Roast Beef and a Baked Potato…….And for dessert…._Blueberry Pie!_

Molly starts to turn purple (Violet, whatever) and starts to swell up to massive size. Like a giant blueberry….duh.

Mohinder: GAH! What did you do to Molly, you buffoon!?

Matt: Oh please! It's no big deal, see?

He grabs a fork and give Molly a little poke. _She explodes! Blueberry Juice goes flying everywhere!_

Mohinder: ……

Matt: Uh…..(Gets on the intercom), uh….we need an _Oompa-Loompa clean up crew in the Gum Room….Oompa-Loompa Clean up crew in the Gum room, Thank You!_

Peter and Niki walk in, both colored orange with green hair, wielding mops!

Niki: I swear, when they get a spot for me on '_Desperate Housewives'_ I am so out of here!

Peter: Look's like somebody's got a case of _The Monday's!_

Niki: Oh, shut up!

-Okay, that didn't happen obviously, but this did!-

Hiro: We're stuck in this stupid prison cell. Ando, we have to get out of here!

Ando: You're right!

Hiro: ….

Ando: …..

Hiro: ….So, let's do it already! This plan will be the best one ever!

Which it isn't…..

Hiro and Ando are confronted by the mysterious man (since every volume always require at least 1 mysterious man).

Hiro: What do you want with us?

Man: My name is Daniel……this is my world…..and you're going to save it.

Hiro: Uh….

-Peter and Nathan's subplot!-

Nathan: We have to help mom move some crap in her new home in Paris.

Peter: Well….Claire was coming over to get away from her family, so is it cool that she comes with us?

Nathan: Sure, why not?

Peter: Hey, You didn't say that in the last episode. You were like "I don't know Peter." And I was like "Come on!" and you were like "No!" and I said "Why?" and you were "Whatever!" and I'm like "What's your deal, dawg?" And you…

Nathan: ENOUGH! Just bring her already! Sheesh….

Later, in Paris….

Angela: I wanted to tell you boys that I'm getting married.

She introduces her fiancé, King Richard Worthington Alexander Edison Kiefer Sutherland Baxter Wilson….Whatever his name was!

Peter: I get to be the wedding planner!!

Nathan: This isn't good.

Claire: Gonna have to agree with you there.

And at Mohinder's.

Mohinder: I must conduct more research. Wonderful….delicious research.

Niki: Yawn!

Matt: Well, we've been through all the contestants. I'm for the girl who can change her breath. I can't get over how cool that is.

Mohinder: But…we haven't seen the last contestant, someone who I've been saving for the very end.

Niki: We'll do it already, we don't have all day!

Mohinder: We will…..right after a brief commercial break with Matt!

Matt (turning to the camera): People, do you constantly go through life, day to day, wondering the age old question. "_Why do I smell so funny_?" Well….I got my brand new creation, its only available on tv, so you must call within the next 10 minutes to order my newest invention. I call it…_SOAP!_

Niki: GRR!

That about covers it…..Heroes continues….

_Peter, Nathan, Claire  
The Petrelli-Wainwright Castle Estate  
Previously owned by Count Chocula_

Claire pulls out her cell phone to get a text message:

_CHAPTER 17: MISCONCEPTIONS_

Claire: STUPID SPAM!

Peter: Man, is this the same castle as the last one? This one looks a lot cooler.

Nathan: Looks kind of creepy.

Claire: I'm not scared…and I've been in scary situations before…

--FLASHBACK--

Claire (on the phone): WHAT!? Nathan's been shot!?

Peter: Yes!

Claire: I'm coming there.

Peter: No Claire, you're halfway across the country. It would take you forever to drive here.

Claire: Who said I was driving? Uh duh….it's called _Teleporting_.

Peter: Oh, silly Claire…you can't teleport.

Claire (gritting her teeth): I was talking about you!!

Peter: Well, Claire this has been a fun chat, but I have to finish washing my hair. CLICK!

Claire: UGH!….Wait…_Did he just say 'Click'?_. Whatever….. I'm leaving anyway. Thinks he can stop me!

She get up and walks to the door, opening it to find _Richard Simmons!_

Claire: AHH!

Richard: CLAIRE! Whatever you're doing, you must stop! We have to exercise!

Claire: What the hell is that supposed to mean!?

Richard: Come on Claire, _let's work those buns!_

Claire: Eww! Gross! Get away from me you old coot!

She grabs her cheerleading trophy and whacks him in the face with it.

Richard: OOF!

Claire takes off running through her house, seeking refuge in the closet.

Richard: Claire, please! We have to get in shape.

Claire: Oh, that does it! Time to die!

She runs out as Richard Simmons uses his _telekinesis to pin her to the wall_.

Claire: …ugh, _seriously?!…Come on now!_

Richard: Now, we're going to _Sweat to the oldies!_

Claire: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

--END!--

Claire: ….I was so scared….

Nathan (waking up): Hmm! Huh…what…..oh, I'm sorry, where you done?

Claire: Yes I was.

Nathan: Ok…where did I leave off….oh….right!….-ahem-…..This is unbelievable, mom can't run off and get married to some King we don't know!

Peter: Nate, I think you're missing the big picture here. He is a 'King'….that makes Mom a 'Queen'….you '_A Jack'_….and me '_an Ace'_! GET IT?! Because those are the things on playing cards….

Nathan: Permission to not have Peter talk for the remainder of the episode.

Judge: _Permission Granted! (Bangs the gavel)_

Peter: WHAT!?

A stage hand walks up and puts some masking tape on Peter's mouth.

Mohinder: _Why didn't I think of that?!_

Niki: Who are you talking to…?

_Mohinder and Co.  
Mohinder's Apartment  
Whew! Little late there…._

Mohinder: Oh nothing! I'm doing more research! I must do more research!

Scientists: _RESEARCH!RESEARCH!RESEARCH!RESEARCH!_

Niki: SHUT UP!!

The scientists flee out of the apartment.

Niki (back to Mohinder): Did you forget we were in the middle of this stupid competition!? You still haven't shown us the last contestant. But really, as if I care….

Matt is off to the side watching '_Pinky and the Brain_'.

Matt: The coolest show on Earth!

Niki: Well, we lost Matt…..again, don't care.

Mohinder: The last contestant is very special indeed. We have to find him first….

Niki: We have to go out to look for him? Why can't he come here, wasn't that the point?!

Mohinder: We wasn't coming because he didn't know he was supposed to. Now we have to get him.

Niki: Can you tell me who it is first?

Mohinder: Oh right, I haven't done that yet…..well….his name is _Gabriel Gray_.

Niki: Gabriel Gray….._Wait_! That's Sylar! Have you lost your mind!

Matt: EEK!

Mohinder: Well, this Gabriel is different from the Sylar we all know and love.

Niki: Uh….

Mohinder: I'm on to discovering something extraordinary.

Niki: Oh geez….

Mohinder: We must make haste!

Niki: Fine, I'll go. But _if we catch Sylar acting nice and making us waffles, _I'm leaving Earth forever.

Matt: Who said 'Waffles'?!

_Noah, Elle, and The Haitian  
Office Incorporated, Downtown  
This is NOT a crossover with 'The Office'._

The gang is in an elevator. Elle is pressing buttons.

Elle: Because it's so much fun!

(_Click! Click! Click! Click!)_

Noah: Okay, we tranquilize Sylar, bring him back to headquarters, and store him in our _Magic Anti-Ability Cube!_

Haitian: About time we got one of those….

Elle: Yeah, I just hope it's a lot sturdier than that silly _Level 5_. I heard _Richard Simmons _escaped from there not too long ago.

Noah: Riiiight…..Anyway, Elle, can you see him?

Elle: According to the radar, He is somewhere between floor……..1 and 100.

Noah: Such breakthrough technology.

Elle: STOP THE ELEVATOR!

The Haitian slams the button.

Noah (nearly falling over): GACK! What is it?!

Elle: The radar is flashing red. It could either mean Sylar is on this floor……or the battery is about to die……or we're in the presence of deadly toxic fumes….or ghosts.

Noah: I'll go with the first one. Let's get out of here.

Haitian: The doors won't open.

Noah: Well, that's just great. (Looking at Elle) YOU!

Elle: I didn't do it this time!

Noah: No…I meant it's all electric, can't you….I don't know….jolt it back up.

Elle: Not when you guys are looking!

Noah: Oh geez…..

Suddenly the doors pry open, revealing _Gabriel Gray (_a.k.a Sylar….) holding a crowbar.

Gabriel: Hello, friends! Heard you got trapped in the elevator so I came to help.

Haitian: Uh….

Noah: Ok….Freaking out a little.

Elle: At least he doesn't have waffles….

_--Ooooh An Eclipse! So pretty…AHHH! MY EYES!………Heroes!--_

_Claire, Peter, Nathan  
King Whats-his-face's Castle  
Boldly going where no plot has gone before! (Maybe, who knows)_

Nathan busts through some random door and approaches Angela.

Nathan: Mom, I don't know what evil plan who have up your sleeve. But you are not getting married, not at a time like this.

Angela: Oh, is that so?….And what time is it, Nathan?

Nathan: What?

Peter (mouth still taped): MMR! MMMRHPH!

Claire rips the tape off.

Peter: OW!…..It's _Afternoon O'clock!_

She puts it back on.

Peter: Mrrr!

Angela: Well?! You say it's a bad time?…..What do you mean?

Nathan: Well….uh……Sylar is running loose.

Angela: Frozen in an ice cube in Antarctica?

Nathan: Uh….sure?

Angela: Nathan. I know you're upset because you're seeing me with another man and you feel threatened and paranoid that I'm trying to replace your father.

Nathan: Um….no…you couldn't be more off.

Angela: WHAT!? Oh…I though I had it…._stupid Dr. Phil_….

Nathan: You don't even hardly know this guy and if _any television program_ has taught me anything, if we feel funny about some creep you're marrying, you should just go ahead and believe us. Or at least come to your senses at the end of the episode or something.

Angela: No, Nathan. I'm not doing that. You may have put your foot down on my _9 other previous marriages_.

Nathan: WHAT!? 9!?

Angela: Oh wait, you don't know about those….Nevermind.

Nathan: Nevermind!? Wha….

Angela: But it's not important. I'm marrying King Ronald…

Claire and Peter (tapeless): _…..Richard._

Angela: Whatever……and you can't stop me!

She storms out of the room.

Claire: Hmm….that didn't work.

Nathan: That's just her….always trying to find a way to create drama……wasn't the first time you know.

--FLASHBACK--

While fighting for his life in the depths of _Cloud City_, Sylar manages to get his hand sliced off by the evil _Darth Petrelli_, who takes her helmet off to reveal Angela.

Angela: Join the Dark Side, Gabriel! For you can receive discounts and more at the _Death Star Gift Shop_.

Sylar: NEVER! You killed my mother…

Angela: No, Gabriel…._I am your mother!_…..So, how do you like them apples!?

Sylar: NO!! _It's not true!_…._That's impossible!_…..

Angela: Now Now….any more of that sass young man _and I'll take away your videogames!_

Sylar: UGH! What is with you _Petrelli's and your secrets!?_….Seriously…._get help!_

--

Nathan: See?!…..Like that….

Claire rolls her eyes and walks away.

Peter: Can I _please_ start talking again? I think this tape is actually ripping off flesh.

_Hiro and Ando  
In the 'Alternate World'  
No, that is not a new reality show….but if it were:_

Peter: This is a true story….

Claire: Of seven strangers….

Mohinder: Picked to live in a house….

Niki: .Work together and have their lives taped…

Nathan: -sigh-….To find out what happens…

Matt: When people stop being polite….

Hiro: and start being '_Alternate'!_

All: _The Alternate World!_

Okay, enough of that….

Hiro approaches Daniel, the mysterious man, who is staring out of the window of his office.

Hiro: What do you want with us?

Daniel: There are many things I need you to do for me….and don't try anything funny. I call the shots around here….besides…._the building is made out of the same materials they use in Magic Anti-Ability Cubes_.

Hiro: Ooooh!

Ando: Impressive.

Hiro: Where are we?

Daniel: You are no longer in your world….you are in one….that is my creation….

Hiro: Uh….ok…..

Daniel: This world is my dream, which I intend to have become reality.

Hiro: I don't know, it looks pretty nasty out there. Evil is lurking everywhere…and if that wasn't only the case you would be the ruler of the world, and everyone would be your personal slaves.

Daniel: Uh…duh….That's the point.

Hiro: Oh….Ok…well…..good luck with that then! BYE!

Hiro drags Ando to the door but are stopped by the guards.

Hiro: EEP!

Daniel: I don't think I've made myself clear…..In order for my world to awaken…I need resources….information…..since your predecessor has failed….you will go in his place.

Hiro: Never!

Daniel: You will go….complete various tasks……once this is complete….On November 11, 2001, at 11:11:11.…the real world will be mine!

Hiro: Seriously?! That's a long time away you know.

Daniel: I'm aware of that! Now go….this is your first assignment.

He hands Hiro a folder.

Daniel: And remember….there is only 1 rule…..1 rule that is imperative…..(He holds up a list of names)….you see this list?

Hiro: Uh…..sure.

Daniel: This is a very special piece of paper I had someone give me…..this list has many names on it…..which I have just added you and Mr. Masahashi's names.

Ando: What is it? Is it for a prize?

Hiro: A prize!? I love prizes.

Daniel: No, it is not.

Ando: Oh! Maybe a cruise!

Hiro: YAY! I love cruises.

Daniel: Grr! Let me finish!!

Hiro: Oh….

Daniel: If someone's name ever gets scratched off from here…..they are eliminated….

Hiro: ….From what?

Daniel: …..Both worlds.

Hiro: ….which means…..

Daniel: ….uh….they're dead.

Hiro: Oh, that's not good.

Daniel: So go….

Hiro spots the name '_Gabriel Gray'_ written in red ink.

Hiro: What's that?

Daniel stashes the paper away.

Daniel: Nothing! Get out of here!

Hiro: How are we supposed to get back to our world?

Daniel: I have someone who can do that.

In walks Alternate Angela Petrelli.

Hiro: EEK!

Angela (Alt): Are you boys ready?

Ando: …..uh…

Hiro: …No.

_Noah, Elle, The Haitian, and Gabriel Gray  
The Office Incorporated  
3rd floor Women's Wear, 6th floor Hardware, 19th floor_….._nobody talks about the 19th floor._

Noah: I knew we would find you here, Sylar! Even Antarctica couldn't hold you.

Gabriel: What are you talking about, friends? Why don't we sit down and have a nutritious afternoon snack. (He grabs a plate)…._Snickerdoodle anyone?_

Elle: Mr. B, he's acting nice and stuff…._I'm scared_.

Noah: It's an act, Elle. Calm down. So….why here, Sylar? Who's power is just so incredible that you had to get a job here…who are you trying to kill now?!

Gabriel: I'm afraid you have me confused with someone else, friend. (He grabs a plate) _Rice Krispy Treat anyone?_

Noah: I'm not falling for your crap! You answer my questions or….or…._we'll just keeping bugging you!_

Gabriel: Again, I must remind you friend, I am not the person you seek. (He grabs a plate) _Anybody care for some Monte Cristo Sandwiches!_ Made with the freshest ingredients…and with a pinch of _LOVE!_

Elle: ARRRGH! I can't take this…….Someone break his face!

Gabriel: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, friend.

Gabriel pulls out a small notebook, and starts to write in it.

_As the evil man and his group of merry misfits advance on Gabriel, the Hero of the story, he has no choice but to plot his escape. _

Elle: We'll see about that! (Charges her electricity)

Little did the foolish blonde girl know, that Gabriel was immune to such a power.

Elle unleashes her electric fury upon Gabriel…which doesn't phase him at all.

Elle: Oh, come on….

_The evil clan was about to strike but an unknown force started to lift them in the air_.

Noah, Elle, and The Haitian rise several feet above the ground.

Elle: Oh…bad, bad, bad, bad, bad…

Noah (To The Haitian): What the hell are you doing!? Make him forget stuff!

The Haitian….is unconscious.

Noah: _Of course!_

Gabriel: Of course I know who he is…that's why I made sure he was incapacitated from the start…..I figured _Ryan_ would send you after me!

Noah: Who the hell is '_Ryan_'?

Gabriel: Don't pretend you don't know who _Daniel Ryan is_. I know you came from the Alternate world.

Noah: WHAT!? I'm so confused….

Elle: You know what sounds good for lunch…._Arby's_.

Noah: Quiet you!

Elle: Rude!

Gabriel: There are more, aren't there……you're not putting up much of a fight….but there are more…..(He grabs his pen and writes)

_And the three henchmen where whisked away._

The Haitian slams up to the ceiling, and back on the ground. Elle gets tossed to the side, crashing into a desk. And Noah goes flying backward through a glass partition in the middle of the room.

Elle: Owie….._isn't there anybody here witnessing this?!_

Noah looks around a bit before passing out.

Gabriel: …I'm the hero of this story…..I managed to escape that horrible place…and nobody is going to stop me.

_And with that, Gabriel the Hero gained the ability of flight_.

Gabriel: Hmm…..eh….it's cheap, but this is an emergency.

Gabriel runs toward the window and hurls through it, he rises back up in the air and flies off. The window pieces fall toward the ground, scattering around Mohinder, Niki, and Matt, who have just arrived on the scene.

Niki: What the hell was that?!

Matt: Did a bird just poop on my head?! Oh man, I hate that….that's the 5th time today!

Mohinder: We just lost our specimen…..

Niki: WOW! What a shocking twist……Forget this, I'm going to get a pretzel.

Matt: Oooh! Can I come?

Niki: Sure….just….take….1 step to the left.

Matt, suspicious, reads her mind….

Matt: HA! Evil woman…I'm not falling for your tricks.

A nice fresh batch of bird poop plops on Matt's head.

Niki: I was trying to be nice and move you out of the way, but _nooo_. You had to be a jerk….well….see if I help you again.

Matt: Drat!

In a fancy restaurant somewhere, Hiro wakes up, his face was in some mashed potatoes.

Hiro: HUH!? How did we get here?

Ando: I don't know, but the food sure is good.

Hiro notices a tape recorder.

Hiro: Look!

Ando: It's probably more on our mission….wait….go to the bathroom.

Hiro: I don't need to go to the bathroom.

Ando: Listen to it in there….it could be one of those _Mission Impossible_ tapes. I don't want it blowing up on my dinner.

Hiro: Oh, don't be silly.

Hiro presses 'Play' on the tape.

Tape: ….._and that is your mission, good luck gentlemen._ _This tape will self destruct RIGHT NOW!_

Hiro: GAH!!

The tape recorder blows up, getting burnt pieces in Ando's food.

Ando: SEE! Look what I told you.

Hiro: Well, it wasn't my fault they gave me a tape that wasn't rewound first….that's just rude….

Ando: Well….now what?

Hiro: I guess we get our first mission….

Hiro opens the folder and makes a grimace.

Ando: Something good.?

Hiro: ….No…..no it's not.

Meanwhile, Mohinder, Matt, and Niki walk into the office to see Noah and the others out cold.

Mohinder: Oh no! This is terrible!

Niki: Some crap went down here for sure.

Mohinder: How am I ever going to finish my research!

Scientists: _RESEARCH!RESEARCH!RESEARCH!RESEARCH!_

Niki: Didn't I tell you jerks to go away!?

The Scientists flee the premises.

Mohinder: Mr. Bennett? Can you tell me what happened….?

Noah: …It was Sylar….He has….a very odd power…..

Mohinder: A new power you say….that can't be right.

Matt (running back in): Sorry, I'm back. Ran to the cafeteria to get me some Chocolate Milk…..mmmmm…..

Niki: Whatever….Listen you (grabbing Mohinder), You're hiding something from us….why is Sylar here? What do you know! I want answers!

Mohinder: Of course, but this is terrible indeed. It's going to have negative influences on my precious research.

Scientists: _RESEARCH!RESEARCH!RESEARCH!_

Niki: DIE!!

Niki rips out a keyboard and chases the scientists out of the room with it.

Niki: I smash you now!!

Matt: Did I miss something?

Mohinder: ……..

Back in the Alternate World….

Alt-Angela walks into the room and meets up with Daniel.

(Alt)-Angela: It has been done, they are back in the real world. Are you sure they wont screw up?

Daniel: Nah….they want to save their world….so they'll go along with what I want….then they'll try to swing in for the kill……and I'll be waiting…..

(Alt)-Angela: Do you think they will succeed with their first assignment.

Daniel: Yes…..I need more information on how well educated the children of the world are…..so I can use that to my advantage…..I think they'll do fine.

--Cut to the real world--

Teacher: Okay, next on role call…..Hiro….Nakamura?

Hiro (raising his hand): HERE!

Ando: Hiro? Are you sure were supposed to be doing this?

Hiro: It's what the assignment said….

Teacher: Hiro! You're talking in the middle of class….Detention!

Hiro: -Gasp! Did you hear that, Ando….I just got _detention_! How exciting!

Ando: It's gonna be a long year……

--

(Alt)-Angela: And what are you doing about the _Real Me?_ I'm supposedly getting married to some buffoon of a king….

Daniel: Yeah, and we seem to have some unexpected guests….don't worry, I got someone on it……

Meanwhile…..Claire is getting fitted for her bride's maid dress.

Claire: Why do I have to be a bride's maid at my grandmother's wedding?!

Nathan: We just have to play along with this charade until we get to the bottom of this.

Claire gets a call on her cell phone, it's Peter.

Claire: Peter?….Why are you calling me? Aren't you in the next room?

Peter: I just wanted to spread the good news! I can talk again! The judge said I can remove the tape.

Claire: Oh Peter…._I don't know if that's a good thing or not_.

Peter: We'll we have a wedding to plan, so I'll talk to you later! CLICK!

Claire: …….Peter?

Peter: ….Claire?! What are you doing…?

Claire: Right, I was meaning to talk to you about that…Peter, you don't have to say '_Click'_ at the end of a telephone conversation.

Peter: Ok……CLICK!

Claire: NO! You're not getting it! You just hang up, the phone makes the clicky thing.

Peter: Claire, why are you still on the phone?! Get off, I'm trying to call my '_Psychic Friends Network'!_

Claire: Um…Peter….you can travel to AND paint the future…..you really don't need that.

Peter: Well Claire it's been fun, but I got to run! Toodles!….

Claire: …..

Peter: …..

Claire: …..

Peter: ….CLICK!

Claire: DAMMIT!

Outside in a fancy Corvette, at the wheel are the Alternate versions of Claire and Nathan.

(Alt)-Nathan: Say….daughter?

(Alt)-Claire: Yes father?

(Alt)-Nathan: I believe we're a little early for the wedding.

(Alt)-Claire: That's okay….there are some pests that are in the way.

(Alt)-Nathan: Hmm….too bad…..I think we're just going to have to kill them.

(Alt)-Claire: Yes……yes we do……..

They get out of the car as a security guard (for the castle) pulls up in his cart.

Guard: HEY! You guys can't park there!

Alt-Nathan turns around and grins, the Security Cart starts to slowly rise up in the air.

Guard: What the?! HEY!

The cart floats up several hundred feet in the air.

(Alt)-Claire: You plan on bringing him down?

(Alt)-Nathan: ….Hmm……Nah….._He'll come down naturally_.

They walk into the castle and upon the door closing they hear a scream followed by a large crash.

(Alt)-Nathan: See?….Told you….

They laugh and continue down the hallway.

_To Be Continued_….

NEXT TIME:…..ON HEROES…..

--Mohinder, Noah, and company have to locate the Alternate Sylar (Gabriel) as well as the Real One (Who is still frozen)….--

Mohinder: This is getting us nowhere! We're never going to find him.

Noah: May I suggest for the 900th time you use Molly?

Niki: She and Micah are on a camping trip with their class.

Matt: I'll find them! I'm an expert in the survival field.

Niki: Did you know you have a paper cut on your finger?

Matt: AHHH! _I got a boo boo!_ Quick! Someone grab my _Glow in the dark Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle band-aid!_

Niki: Ugh….

--And the real Sylar….gets thawed--

Sylar: ugh…..where…..where am I?

Man: Welcome to our village!

Sylar: There's a village in Antarctica, who knew?

Man: Um…no, we found your frozen body and brought you back to the states…..your mental state is a little damaged….so _I hope you don't have any special abilities because you can't use them yet_.

Sylar: OF COURSE NOT! That would be convenient! Man, that is so not fair!

--And the wedding of the century, sort of--

Priest: And do you Angela….takes this man….King Ralph….

Richard: _It's King Richard! _Why can't anybody remember my name!

Peter, Nathan, and Claire bump into Alt-Claire and Alt-Nathan.

Peter: WHOA!

Nathan: Oh, this can't be good.

Claire: Think I would've learned to stay in bed, but noooo!

-The next chapter coming soon!-


	18. Lessons Learned

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 18: Lessons Learned

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Peter: _Previously on Heroes_……..

Noah, Elle, and The Haitian in the elevator in a downtown office complex looking for Sylar, though it wasn't the Sylar they all know and love…it was his alternative self. The real Sylar is frozen in Antarctica…still.

Noah: Your sensors indicate he's on this floor?

Elle: Yeah, I think so.

Gabriel: Hello, friends!

Elle: Freaking out!

After being lifted in the air, Noah, Elle, and The Haitian go flying in different directions. Gabriel jumps out of the window and flies off.

Though before this mess, Mohinder and company had some other plans of their own. He was having a competition to see who is the most valuable person to be his next guinea pig for some other unknown project.

Niki: Which makes no sense….but whatever….

Mohinder: I have one last person I can use for my research….but he just doesn't know it yet.

Niki: Oh, goody!

Downtown, after Gabriel makes his escape.

Mohinder: What in the world happened?

Noah: Uuggh…..

In Alt-World….The World that is _alternative from our own_, created by resident weirdo Daniel Ryan in his comatose dream land, sends out his cronies (alternative doppelgangers of the 'heroes') in an attempt to gather information from the real world…to use for his own, so when the day comes when he awakes from his coma on November 11th, 2011 at 11:11:11.….his alt world will become the _actual real world_ and evil-doings will plague the earth forever and ever!

Daniel (To Hiro): I need resources….and since your predecessor failed, you will be expected to finish the job.

One of his Alt-Cronies was none other than Alt-Hiro Nakamura, who broke the rules of Daniel's world by turning good and warning non-alternative folk that the place exists, which led to his elimination. In attempt for damage control, Daniel recruits the _Real World_ Hiro and Ando to do research in the exciting world of education, Hiro and Ando now have to deal with their new adventures in _High School, _learning such tasking subjects like _Reading, Writing, and Spelling!_ Oh boy!

Hiro and Ando show up in a classroom of some sort.

Ando: Well, it could always be worse.

Hiro (playing with his Speak and Say toys)….

Toy: _The Cow Goes…..QUACK!_

Hiro: No it doesn't!……_Who made this?!_

Toy: The duck goes……._AFLAC!!_

Hiro: ARGH!!

Meanwhile, in Paris…Nathan, Peter and Claire visit Angela who is supposed to be moving furniture, but to their surprise is marrying this man who is the King of something. His name is King Raymond…

Richard: _IT'S KING RICHARD!!_

Nathan and Claire are suspicious of if the King is who he says he is….Peter is too engrossed in watching '_Days Of Our Lives'_.

Peter: Oh no he _did-int!_….._You go girl!_

Nathan: Stop watching tv on my cell phone! I'm going to get a 6000 dollarbill again!!

Peter: I can't! It's bad enough I missed yesterday's episode…oh well, not like I missed anything important……WHAT!? Who the hell are all these people!?….._When did Aliens join the cast!?_….I'm so confused…..

Nathan ignores the scene that _didn't happen in last week's episode to focus on the sub-plot_.

Nathan: I want more information on this weird guy mom is marrying, it just doesn't add up.

Claire: I don't know what we should do…..oh well, it's not like it could get any worse.

Nathan: Oh good going! Now we're _jinxed!_

Claire: Oh like that matters!

A corvette pulls up, and out steps the Alternate versions of Nathan and Claire.

--End of recap--

_Hiro and Ando  
High School Musical High School  
And if Claire has taught us anything, the High School scenes always end in success!_

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

Hiro: Wow! I can't believe we're in school again! Isn't this cool?!

Ando: No….

Hiro: And check out my cool _Trapper Keeper!_

He shows it to Ando, on the front it reads:

_CHAPTER 18: LESSONS LEARNED_

Ando: What the hell does that mean!?

Hiro: I don't know….what do you think _Napoleon?_

Napoleon Dynamite: _I think it's the worst trapper keeper I've ever seen in my whole life_. _GAW! FRIGGIN IDIOT!_

Hiro: Well that wasn't called for…

Ando: As if _that reference never get old_. (Rolls eyes)

Hiro: Uh….

Ando: Hiro, why are we here? Why do we have to work for this man? Why aren't we getting to the bottom of this alternate world business?

Hiro: Stop answering your questions with more questions! We're here because we have to work with the man to get to the bottom of this alternate world business. But be careful, his number 1 rule is that nobody can know about the world, or we'll be eliminated.

Ando: Right, right…..

Hiro: So until then…..

Teacher: Okay, we have two new students. Hiro and Ando, please come up here and embarrass yourselves.

Hiro: With pleasure!

Hiro and Ando make their way to the front of the class.

Ando: Be careful what you say, Hiro. This is High School, one false move and we're done for.

Hiro: Leave it all to me! -Ahem-……Greetings! My name is Hiro and this is Ando…….We are from Japan…and love _Star Trek_……and one thing is for sure….._I do NOT have the ability to manipulate time and space_……if you would like to be my friend on _Myspace_, just let me know and I will consider accepting you. That about covers it.

Students: …..

Hiro: ……

Teacher: Oookay, judging by their reactions they already hate your guts.

Hiro: Oh, that's not good.

Teacher: All right, since we had to introduce these two that took up the rest of the class, everybody has homework tonight! And on the night of the big football game too!

Students: GRR!

Ando: This isn't going to be easy.

Hiro: No, I'm afraid not……

_Sylar (The Real One)  
Unknown Location  
He must be…LOST!_….._Oh no, lawyers from ABC. Stay back! AHHHH!_

Sylar awakes to find a beautiful nurse (with the name tag '_Bianca')_ tending to him.

Sylar: Hmm….this is a much better turn out….

Bianca: Oh, you're awake…The workers found you frozen in ice….they brought you back here so I can give you……_heat._

Sylar: Oooookay….um…..well, that's just…wow….but um…..I gotta go kill some heroes….but if you want to meet up later….

Bianca: No time!……You must stay hidden in the shadows…..they are looking for you….

Sylar: They?…..Oh, you must mean the jerks who sent me here…are we even still in Antarctica?

Bianca: No…you're in a fictional village off the Southern coast of Alaska….you'll be safe here.

Sylar: Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but…..I have a few tricks up my sleeve….

Bianca: You could stop time and teleport….obviously not very well or you wouldn't be here…..conjure ice….ironically since you ended up in that situation….and astral project….which is also kinda pointless….

Sylar: How did you know that? They better not have put that on my Driver's License!

Bianca: Because Gabriel Gray….

Sylar: ACK! You know my name…

Bianca: It was on your driver's license…

Sylar: Oh….that makes sense……..wait…..you said '_I could'_……

Bianca: Yes…..

Sylar tries to pull off an ability, but to no avail.

Sylar: WHAT?!

Bianca: The ice damaged part of your brain, you cannot use your powers for now.

Sylar: Of course not! That would be convenient!

Bianca: You shouldn't stress, my love.

Sylar: _Love?!_

Bianca: You need to know that I am special…..just….like…..you………

Sylar: Oh yes, this could be the beginning of a long term romantic relationship..…like Peter and Simone…..or Isaac and Simone…..or Claire and West….or Hiro and Charlie…..Hiro and Yaeko…….Peter and Caitlyn………Nathan and Heidi………..Niki and D.L……….

Bianca: …._you and Maya._

Sylar: Hmm…good point….._I'm going to go now!_

Bianca: You should…..And Gabriel?

Sylar: What?

Bianca: They are watching you…..

Sylar: Can I not meet someone normal just _once_? I mean, seriously.

Sylar walks out of the hut as Bianca gets on her cell phone.

Bianca: Hello Doctor…..yes…..he is here…….no……there is no tattoo……he's real……_the alternative is still out there somewhere_…….

_Nathan, Peter, Claire, and a tiny stool  
Paris, The Castle  
A tiny stool which Peter broke and neglected to tell anybody…_

Claire has a seat on the tiny stool, which falls over.

Claire: OOF!

(_CRASH!!)_

Claire: OW….

Nathan (on his phone): Uh huh……uh huh……uh huh……awesome!….great.

Nathan gets off the phone and puts it down, Peter swipes it to watch tv again.

Peter (looking through the phone): Blah blah….._'Do you accept charges?'_…._blah blah_….'_This is your last chance'_… blah…..'_Nathan's going to kill you'……yada yada_….'_Don't say we didn't warn you!'_…..COME ON!

Nathan: I have some dirt on the 'King'…….

Peter: _King Friday?_

Nathan: No.

Peter: _King Kong?_

Nathan: No!

Peter: _The Burger King?_

Nathan: NO DAMMIT!! Stop talking……

Peter: That does it! I'm sooo watching '_The Lord Of The Rings' _on your phone!

Nathan: Anyway, turns out he's not even a 'King' at all…I have to go meet this contact for more information….

Peter: _'All three movies!'_……And their _Extended Versions!_

Nathan: It's not too far from here, if we……(he swipes his phone back from Peter). _You're not watching those! _The Lord of the Rings extended edition is like _3 days long_. Forget it!

Peter: Aww…..

Nathan: Go play over there!

Peter: NO! There's…..something horrible….

Claire: What?

Peter: It's….._a bunny costume_.

Nathan: What? You afraid of rabbits now?

Peter: Well……it all started with a dream I had not too long ago….

--DREAM--

Peter was hopping through the forest dressed in a bunny costume.

_Little Bunny Foo Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head!_

Peter: HA! TAKE THAT!

_And down came magical fairy Nicole Sanders._

Peter: Uh oh….

Niki: _Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don't want to see you, scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head._

Peter: Okay!…….(He grabs one)….._BONK!_

Niki: _WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?_

Peter: Uh….

Niki: That's it! I've had it with your shenanigans! With my fairy magic….I'm sending you to _the fiery depths of RABBIT HELL!_

Peter: Oh no! Not _Rabbit Hell!_

Peter disappears and ends up in Rabbit Hell….where he meets the _Trix Rabbit_, holding a gun.

Trix Rabbit: Hello, Peter…._we have some unfinished business to attend to_.

Peter: OH CRAP!!

-END-

Nathan: ….

Peter: I was so scared.

Nathan: You're an idiot.

Peter: Oh come on! Claire was accosted by _Richard Simmons _and didn't get any flak for it.

Nathan: She makes up for it by not having as _many stupid stories as you do_.

Claire: Um….thanks?

Nathan: We have to get going….we can't put this off any longer….

Nathan proceeds out the door followed by Claire and Peter….in the hall…they run into _Alternate Nathan and Claire_.

Nathan: ……

Claire: What the?!

Peter: Is that _Cousin Myrtle and Uncle Joe?_…..Because if it is, _they owe me a birthday present_……

Nathan shoots a look at Peter….then at his alternate self.

Alt-Nathan: _Are we late for the party?_

Claire: …..Oh brother…..

--_As the world turns, which runs best using Duracell Premium Batteries!_……._Heroes!--_

In the castle, Peter, Claire, Nathan are squared off against Alternative Nathan and Claire.

Claire: What…..What is this?

Nathan: Okay, what are you? Shape shifters or something?

The Alternatives exchange looks.

Alt-Nathan: We're here to celebrate the wedding.

Alt-Claire: And I hope you don't think you're going to stop us….

Claire: I…..I don't know what to say….this is nuts!

Alt-Nathan: I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you down now….

Peter: I'll save us!

Peter whips out a gun and pulls the trigger….which shoots a paper flag that says '_BANG'_!

Claire: You must be joking….

Peter: Oh dang, talk about a anti-climatic moment….

Nathan: You think we're afraid of you guys? I don't think you can stop us…..I mean….come on…..

Alt-Nathan: Guess again….

Alt-Nathan holds out his hand and lowers it toward the ground. Peter, Nathan, and Claire collapse to the floor.

Claire: URK!

Nathan: Ok….I was wrong….you win…..

Peter: _My Spidey Senses are tingling!_

Nathan: No they're not! Shut up!

Peter: Must…..use……power…..

Nathan: It's no use……

Claire: This guy's telekinetic?!

Nathan: No….this is different….it's like….a gravitational pull…….he must be able to control gravity in certain areas.

Alt-Nathan: That's a pretty good guess….

Peter: Yeah, he only got it right because he cheats!

Nathan: Do not!

Peter: Do to!

Nathan: Do not!

Peter: Do to!

Nathan: Shut up!

Peter: You shut up!

Nathan: Idiot!

Peter: Crab-apple!

Nathan: Nimrod!

Peter: Fat head!

Nathan: Bed wetter!

Peter: GASP!…..I'll kill you!

Claire: _LADIES! PLEASE!_….We have more important problems to deal with here….

Peter: Mohinder's right, Nathan…

Claire: WHAT?!

Peter: We need to team up and take down these fools….

Nathan: You're right….but how?

Peter: …….MOOOOOOOOOM!

Nathan: Oh were so screwed……

_Mohinder, Niki, Matt, Noah, Elle, and The Haitian; better known as _

'_THE SUPER JUSTICE FRIENDS'  
Mohinder's Super Hero Lair  
Fighting crime and the forces of evil..and letting them get away since 2006!_

Noah: I'm really starting to hate those opening captions….

Niki: Okay, Mohinder….start talking. What's up with Sylar?

Noah: The last we remember, he jumped out the window…

Matt: And I saw someone fly away….amidst the falling shards of broken window pieces and raining bird poop! It's a good thing I washed my hair again…..

A bird flies in through the window and plops another one on Matt's head.

Matt: _OH NO!_ That's two in one day!! Where's my shampoo….

Niki's hand discreetly slides behind her, knocking the shampoo bottle in the trash can.

Matt: Great! Now I have to go to the store!

Matt storms out of the apartment.

Mohinder: Anyway…Do you remember when the Haitian had that mysterious tattoo?

Niki: No.

Elle: OOH! He had that crazy tattoo and like….absorbed the personalities of everyone he touched…

Noah: Right….now that I think about it….that clone of the Haitian or whatever said something about coming from an _alternate world_….but then he instantly died.

Mohinder: Well…..right…….but let me back up….I did some research….

Niki looks around the room making sure no annoying scientists pop up.

Niki: …hmm…..you better not come out…..

Mohinder: Anyway, there was this book that had information, it was written by a friend of my father's……

Niki: And?

Mohinder: Someone anonymous sent me the book and I was studying his entries….and it tells about a young man he used to treat….

Niki: AND!?

Mohinder (opening the refrigerator to grab the book): Some of the journal entries talk about this man named Daniel….he had the ability to create worlds inside of his dreams and live in them….

Elle: Doesn't that sound just like normal dreaming?

Niki: Yeah, anybody could do that….

Mohinder: It's a little different…..it says here that Daniel has been in a coma for some time and has been living in his dream world….

Noah: How does this doctor know what he's dreaming…?

Mohinder: Inside this world, Daniel can do and create whatever he wants. He has the ability to use people in this world to '_transfer'_ to this one.

Niki: Why is he doing this?

Mohinder (flipping through pages): The number '11' plays a pivotal role in all this….every resident in the alternative world has it tattooed on them….I'm not sure what the number means but I know for a fact that the Sylar Mr. Bennett ran into downtown wasn't him……here's why!

--FLASHBACK--

Mohinder walks up to the hotdog stand to get some….hotdogs. He bumps into Gabriel Gray.

Gabriel: Oh! My apologies friend!

Mohinder: HUH!?

Gabriel: It sure is a beautiful day we're having.

Mohinder: GUH!?

Gabriel: May I wish you the best in your future endeavors, and don't eat that too fast….heartburn is a serious issue….good bye!

Mohinder: BLUH!?

Gabriel happily bounces away Mohinder catches the number '11' tattooed on his left wrist.

Mohinder: GASP!…..That tattoo….I remember that…..what is going on here….something extraordinary I'm sure….hey…._SOMEONE STOLE MY HOTDOG!!_

--END--

Niki: Wow….that was a really stupid story!

Mohinder: So the real Sylar should still be in Antarctica, the '_Alternate'_ Sylar is running amok in the city….escaped from the other world…..there is more information but the pages are torn out of the book.

Niki: Of course….

Mohinder: I must find my father's friend…a…._Dr. Markus Addelburg_…..the man who personally dealt with Daniel. Then we need to find Alternate Sylar.

Noah: Gee, I wonder who we can use….someone who can locate people no doubt….

Mohinder: Molly! Of course….

Elle: _Can't you people go without using her locator power for 1 day?! YEESH!_

Mohinder: But….she's not here…..

Niki: Yeah, Mohinder, did you forget? Micah and Molly went on a camping trip with their class….

Noah: They go to the same school?

Niki: Yeah, funny how things work out like that.

Mohinder: Well we haven't a moment to spare….pack your things team…

Noah: _Team?_

Mohinder: ….._we're going camping_.

Elle: Oh boy!

Niki: Oh crap!

Matt (running in): _OH_…._I wish I were on Oscar Meyer Weiner!_

Mohinder: I beg your pardon?

Matt: Sorry…got caught in the moment…..I found my shampoo!

Niki: Ugh….

Matt: So….what's the _411_?

Mohinder: We need to find Molly, who can locate the Alternate Sylar and the man who has treated Daniel, the creator of the alternate world.

Matt: _Who what to the what now?_

Niki: Dammit Matt! If you weren't so self conscious about birds letting loose on your head, you would have paid some attention to the plot! Now we have to repeat the last few minutes….grr….

Mohinder: No time! We'll explain on the way…..we must get to the bottom of this mystery….

Matt: Mystery…..

Mohinder: Yes, Matt…

Matt: ….I…….LOVE……MYSTERIES!

Noah: ??

Mohinder: Ok?

Niki: Don't get him started, he's been watching the _CSI: Miami Marathon_.

Matt: I can't help it, I love that show…..Did you know I was supposed to star in that show along with Claire? Remember, Mr. Bennett?

Noah: Don't remind me….

--PREVIOUSLY ON CSI: MIAMI--

As CSI Lieutenant Horatio Caine (played by _Matt Parkman_) arrives on the scene to investigate the murder, he meets up with fellow CSI Calleigh Duquesne (played by _Claire Bennett)_.

Matt: Calleigh….what do we have here?

Claire: A murder, genius. It looks like the victim was taking a morning run…and her attacker pushed her down the stairs, stole any id's she may have, cut her open, and played jump rope with her large intestine…that sick bastard!

Matt: Excellent…..it's a good thing I found this murder.

Claire: No you didn't! This is my case….go away you _scene stealer!_

Matt: I believe this…..was a murder…

Claire: DUH! I just said that….._and why are you wearing those sun glasses? _It's not even that sunny outside!

Matt takes off his sun glasses…..to reveal _ANOTHER SET OF SUN GLASSES!_

Claire: Ugh…..

Matt: Oh and by the way Calleigh….your acting really isn't doing it for me….

Claire: What?!

Matt: You know….start acting more Southern…..here, I prepared your script for you…..

Claire (reading): _Hey yall, looks like we got a murder here yall!_….THIS IS STUPID!

Matt: So stupid…..it's….._murder_.

Claire: Niki is so doing this next time!

--END--

Mohinder: Wow, _that took forever_.

Noah/Elle/Niki: _Agreed!_

Matt: Yay! I finished my story!

Niki: Can we _PLEASE _go now?

Mohinder: Oh right, of course…..

_Hiro and Ando  
At the School House  
Conjunction Junction, What's your function?_………_Oh_….._that's disappointing…_

Hiro: This is awful, Ando (slams his locker shut).

Ando: You're telling me!

Hiro: I've already failed 3 tests, got my lunch money stolen, and someone threw their roast beef sandwich at my head.

Ando: You couldn't stop time during any of this?

Hiro: I don't know, Ando….with Mr. Ryan pulling the strings in this operation, we have to be very careful until the time is right to put an end to all this. Besides, what's done is done…I'm never going to time travel again unless I _absolutely have to_…..You know what happened last time, we almost got killed!

--FLASHBACK--

Hiro and Ando teleport in.

Hiro: Okay, we're here just in time…..uh oh.

Ando: This place looks kinda futuristic.

Hiro: I think I made a mistake. (He notices the mailbox that reads '_The Jetson's'_)

Hiro: Uh oh….

Jane Jetson walks in.

Jane: AHH! Intruders! George, help!

George: Don't worry Jane! Rosie! Set to _Kill Mode!_

Rosie the Robot wheels in, protruding a stiletto knife from her robotic hand.

Hiro: EEK!

Rosie: -_BEEP-_….._I will cut you fools down_…..--SWIPE!--

Hiro: ANDO! She's making stabbing gestures at us!

George: Come on family!

Ando: They're advancing on us….

Hiro: Egads!……There's _daughter Judy!_

Ando: _….and his boy Elroy!_

Hiro and Ando: AHHHHHHH!!

--END--

Hiro: …..and we were never heard from again….

Ando: Uh….

Hiro: Oh wait….yeah we were….

Ando: …yes….

Hiro: Okay, let's finish our mission…

Ando: What is it again? Gathering resources? How do we do that?

Hiro: I don't know….just….look important…..

Hiro takes two steps and runs into a bully.

Hiro: Seriously?!

Bully: I heard your lame speech in class, Nakamura.

Hiro: Did you like it?….Please tell me you liked it….._positive input and the approval of others is the only way to survive High School these days._

Ando: Ain't that the truth…..

Bully: Well, because of you, we all have homework the night of the football game. That means that you're going to get a little present…(Punches his fists)

Hiro: Present?…._I love presents! _I hope it's a Coo Coo Clock!

Bully: Good. You'll love this one…..you'll just _die_ when you see it.

Hiro: I can't wait!

Bully: After school…3:00.….

Hiro: I'll be there!

The Bully walks away.

Hiro: How fun!

Ando: Uh, Hiro…..I think he's going to kick your butt.

Hiro: Don't be ridiculous…..

Ando: If you don't believe me, travel to the future….then come right back…

Hiro: Well….I don't want to….but to prove that's a nice man…..here goes….

Hiro teleports out of there…..and few seconds later he comes back.

Hiro: AHH!

Ando: Hiro! What happened?

Hiro: He's going to kick my butt!

Ando: I told you! You never listen to me. _If I had any powers I'd electrocute you right now!_

Hiro: Oh Ando, you're just saying that to cheer me up…

Ando: ..uh…

Hiro: It was awful! They took all my money and strapped me to the flag pole in my underwear…

Ando: And you didn't use your power through any of this….

Hiro: I know…..strange……We have to finish our mission and get back to the alt-world…

Ando: What the hell is our mission!?

Hiro: Uh…..to….collect….resources…?

Ando: That makes no sense!

Hiro: I don't make the rules Ando….I'm just following them….now come on….we have to get to Drama 101.

Ando: We're in a Drama class.

Hiro: Yes….looks like we're going to be in a play.

Ando: Man, I wish I was anybody else right now…..maybe Peter Petrelli, he's probably having a better time than we are!

--AT THE CASTLE--

Peter: Urgh! This sucks……_I bet Ando is having a better time than we are!_

Nathan: That was an odd thing to say…..

Peter, Nathan, and Claire were still held to the ground by Alt-Nathan's Gravitational Manipulation.

Claire: We have to do something!

Alt-Claire: Oh father, I'm going to check if Grandmother is here….

Alt-Nathan: You do that, daughter….I'll be here….

Claire: Yikes….(To Nathan)….is it weird that we don't talk to each other like that?

Nathan: No, it's okay…….that's just really creepy.

Claire: I agree.

Peter: Grandmother?

Alt-Claire walks down the hallway and runs into _Alt-Angela_.

Alt-Claire: Grandmother? Did you just get here?

Alt-Angela: Yes, I see I was able to get you guys here with no problems…

Alt-Claire: Yes……it is a shame you're the only one who can send people between the worlds….

Alt-Angela: In good time, my dear…….someday, we'll not need to teleport at all. Now, we have work to do….

Alt-Claire and Alt-Angela burst into a dressing room where the real Angela is knitting together a very long sock…..?

Angela: What is this?!

Alt-Claire: Aren't you glad we've shown up on your special day?

Angela: What is the meaning of this, Claire?…..And _Peter, if you're dressed like me again for Halloween you're going to be grounded for a very long time, mister!_

Alt-Angela: Oh no…..I just found out about some very distressing news. You found out some very interesting information about your fiancé…….

Angela: I don't know what your talking about….

Alt-Angela: And you were going to spill his secret……but I cannot allow that.

Angela: Stay back! If you come any closer I'll……._dream about bad stuff happening to you in the future!_

Angela runs over and jumps on a bed, snuggling up with a teddy bear.

Angela: Okay, you asked for it….here it goes……..ooh….you're in a nasty prison cell…..oh wait….that's…..

Alt-Angela puts her hand on Angela's ankle, making her slowly disappear.

Alt-Claire: …….well, that's the end of that.

They turn around to find a guard.

Guard: What the hell did you just do?! I saw everything….

Alt-Claire: You didn't see anything here…..not like you'll live to tell about it.

Alt-Claire puts her hands around her head, and snaps it backwards, breaking her neck…._the guard falls to the ground_.

Alt-Claire: Man, that felt good…..(popping her neck back into place)

Alt-Claire and Alt-Angela leave the room.

Nathan: Peter! Why can't you do anything! Zap him or something!

Peter: I can't! I'm too crushed!….Can't concentrate! It's like the brick floor is laced with kryptonite!

Nathan: You're not allergic to kryptonite, you're not Superman!

Peter: We'll it'd be nice if I was….

Nathan: (To Alt-Nathan)…..And You! Are you just going to stand there all day pinning us to the ground? What do you want with us….?

Alt-Nathan smirks as alternatives Claire and Angela round the corner, joining the fray.

Alt-Claire: Let them go, father….I'll take over from here…..

Peter is the first one to be freed. He jumps to his feet.

Nathan: Peter! Now's your chance! Get them!

Peter is ready to fire off some electricity when Alt-Claire pulls out a gun.

Peter: Oh, silly woman who looks like Claire…….guns don't work with me….

Claire: He's right! They don't!

Alt-Claire turns the gun on herself….

Peter: Uh…..

Nathan: What is she doing!?

Alt-Claire pulls the trigger, and a pool of blood spills out of Peter's midsection.

Peter: EEK!

Claire: AHHHHH!

Peter slumps to the ground as Nathan gets freed.

Nathan (crawling over): Peter!

Peter: Nathan….I've been shot…..

Nathan: Well, yeah….I guess so…..

Peter: I don't…..-cough-…..have much time….

Nathan: What are you talking about? You can heal! Just pop the bullet out and get over it!

Peter: You know, you're being very rude, I took you being shot more seriously.

Nathan: Again…._I can't heal myself_. Get over it!

Peter: Oh…..ooohhh…..there's the light……urk……

Nathan: Peter, we don't have time for this.

Peter: Nathan……I……I…….need to tell you something….

Nathan: What?! Make it snappy, the bad guys aren't going to _unrealistically stand over there forever!_

Peter: Come closer…..

Nathan (moving in a little): What?

Peter: Closer…..-cough-….

Nathan: Okay….what?

Peter: Cl….cl….closer…..-hack!-….-cough-….

Nathan: What do you want!?

Peter: Nathan….what I'm about to tell you…..will be the answer…..the answer that will unravel this whole mystery and put everything to rest….

Nathan: What is it?

Peter: …..

Nathan: ….

Claire: …..

Nathan: …..

Peter: ……….._LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!_

Claire: AARRRGH! (Slams her head on the ground)

Nathan (strangling Peter): _GOD, I FREAKING HATE YOU!! _

Peter: ugh…Nate….you…..squeezing….neck….too….hard….uuuughghg…….

Alt-Angela: I've had enough….seize them….

Peter shoots electricity at Alt-Claire. The waves cover her but doesn't feel anything, the real Claire starts to writhe in pain.

Peter: Oh crap!

Alt-Claire: Yeah, I wouldn't do that if I were you……

Peter: Oh, I get it……That's a neat trick…..I wanna try it…..

Peter sends a chair flying, hitting him in the head….Alt-Claire passes out to the ground.

Peter: _Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!_

Alt-Claire: …..(passed out)

Peter: Oh right……

Nathan jumps forward and grabs Alt-Nathan, flying them upward through the skylight in the ceiling. A few hundred feet in the air, Alt-Nathan tries to use gravity to pull them back down, they start to slowly spin in place…

Alt-Nathan: Ugh!

Nathan (trying to slap him): You think you're power is so cool….

Alt-Nathan: Because……(slapping back)….it is!

Nathan: All you can do is float….I can fly……your power just sucks….

Alt-Nathan: I'll kill you!…

Nathan: Geeeetinnng… Dizzzzy…..

Inside, Alt-Angela makes her way toward Claire. Raising her hand!

Peter: Claire! Watch out! She's going to _tickle you_….._or pinch your cheeks_….or something like that.

Claire (to Alt-Angela): ….Sorry "_Grandmother"_….

Claire leans back and kicks Alt-Angela square in the face, sending her to the ground.

Claire: Take that!

She runs over to Peter.

Peter: Claire, after careful deliberation, I don't think it's safe here……

Claire: You think?!

Peter: I'm getting you out of here….we'll handle the rest.

He places his hand on her should as they disappear…..a few moments later, he comes back. To find Alt-Angela gone….

Peter: Allright….time to become Superman!

He bumps into a salesman.

Salesman: Hello, my good man. Would you care for a _Kryptonite Ring Pop? _They're very delicious!

Peter: AHHH! Get away from me!

He punches the salesman and runs outside, he takes off flying in the air. Grabbing Alt-Nathan, he continues flying higher and higher.

Nathan: Huh?

Alt-Nathan: What are you doing!? You're going to burn us into the earth's atmosphere you moron….

Peter: Funny…..I'm having a little déjà vu……..this happened before and you turned into _Hamburger Helper Face_…..well….not you….my real brother….

Alt-Nathan: You're insane!…..

Peter: And then we healed him and he grew this hideous beard…..it was like a _Oreo Cookie Beard_……I think he had a theme going on.

Alt-Nathan: Why….why can't I stop you……

Peter: A little mind control……just sit there and relax as we go into the atmosphere….wow….that's kinda burning…..

Alt-Nathan: Urgh…..ugh….ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!

Peter: Okay, I'm done!

Peter pushes away, telekinetically sending Alt-Nathan to burn in the Earth's atmosphere. Peter drops back to the ground. Nathan is standing there as Alt-Angela comes up behind him and makes him disappear….

Peter: AHH! Nathan!……Wait…..are you the good mother or the bad one…..?

Alt-Angela: What do you think?

Peter: You monster!

Alt-Claire, who has come to, runs up to Alt-Angela….they both disappear….

Peter: Oh….so not good…..

A man runs outside.

Man: Where is everybody….the wedding starts in an hour! I'm totally freaking out now! WAAAAH!!

Peter: Hmm….This looks like a job for…….._somebody else_.

Peter teleports out of there.

Elsewhere, Claire wakes up to find herself in the middle of the street….

Claire: Where did Peter take me….?

She turns around as an oncoming car zooms up, crashing into her. Claire flops on the hood and off to the side.

Matt (Driving): AHHHHH!! What did I hit?!

Noah: You just ran over Claire, you son of a bitch!!

Matt: I'm sorry! I thought it was Niki! I swear!

Niki: WHAT!?

As she starts to smack Matt repeatedly, Noah hops out of the car and runs over to Claire.

Noah: Claire! Are you allright?

Claire: Sure….I haven't been hit by a car in some time so I was far overdue.

Noah: How did you end up here?

Claire: I was in Paris with Peter.

Noah: Paris?! I thought you were just going over to his place for the weekend?

Claire: Yeah….long story, I'll tell you in the car.

Noah: We'll you better come with us. With 2 Sylars on the loose it's better you remain in safe hands….aside from _SOME IDIOTS WHO CAN'T DRIVE!_

Matt: Niki, are you just going to take that?

Niki: That does it!

Niki tries to strangle Matt with the seatbelt.

Matt: URGK!

Back in School, Hiro and Ando are making their way outside.

Hiro: Well, first day at school was a bust. But tomorrow is a new day.

Ando: How are you going to deal with that bully?

Hiro: What bully?

They walk outside to see the bully standing not too far away with a group of other students.

Hiro: Oh crap, I forgot about that.

Ando: You can teleport us out of here and nobody will notice.

Hiro: No, Ando….I cannot run away from my problems….I must face them head on.

Ando: If you say so….

Bully: Well, well…..I'm surprised you decided to show up…..are you ready to be beaten to a pulp…..?

Hiro: No, I would not like that….

The Bully is about to advance on Hiro, then he stops….

Hiro: Uh….

Bully: Don't hit me!….Please!…..

Hiro and Ando exchange glances….

Bully (sobbing): PLEASE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!

Hiro: I'm….really…confused….

Student: Dude! What's your problem, beat him up! Why are you acting like a sissy now?

Bully: WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

The Bully gets up and runs off…

Hiro: Uh….I win….I guess……

The students scatter off, extremely disappointed.

Hiro: What just happened, Ando?

Ando: Like I would know!?

Hiro: Well…..okay then….I guess we ended the day on a good note after all.

Him and Ando walk off……as someone who is overlooking the scene from inside the school chuckles, slowing closing the window blinds.

Nathan wakes up to find himself in a prison cell….

Nathan: Ugh….what the hell is this? Where am I?

He walks over to the barred window looking out at the carnage outside, in the alternative world….

Nathan: What the hell?……

He turns around to see Angela, unconscious in the cell across from his….

Nathan: ……

_Sylar  
Remote Alaskan Village  
A place that looks a lot like the town from 'Northern Exposure'. That moose is looking rather menacing, better keep an eye on him…_

Sylar (working): I can't believe I have to work at this stupid bakery shop thing….

Woman: Excuse me? May I have a cream puff pastry.

Sylar: This is so not me……I should be out doing evil things….but no…..I've been stripped of my powers for the 900th time, when am I ever going to be useful….?

Woman: Um….cream puff pastry please?

Sylar: Man, if there was someone else in the world who _looked just like me_, he wouldn't put up with this crap.

Woman: _I WANT MY PASTRY!!_

Sylar: Stupid Peter….he's so stupid….him and his stupid face…..

Woman: I'm leaving!

Sylar continues to grumble as Bianca, the sultry nurse from before, stepping up to the counter…

Bianca: I see you've found a job….good for you….

Sylar: Yeah, whatever….

Bianca: You should stop back by the clinic when you get a chance, we can talk more….we can have….fun.

She grabs a nearby can of whip cream and fills her mouth with it…._to the point that it's flying out her ears._

Bianca (choking): FEH!…BLARGH!….-HACK!-…-COUGH!-…..uughg….

She collapses to the ground….

Sylar: I never though I'd meet someone scarier than myself…..

A little while later, Bianca returns to the clinic and gets on the phone…..

Bianca (phone): _Doctor Addelburg_?……What were you able to find out?…….What!?……She's gone?!……….what are you going to do now…..?

On the other end of the line….in _Paris, France_….."_King Richard" (aka Markus Addelburg)_, the man Angela was to marry, is on the other end of the line. He tosses his 'crown' to the side.

Markus (aka King Richard): I don't know, Bianca. All I know is that Angela is gone…..whether she was the real one or not if I don't find her…..I lose any chances I have to get back into the alternate world and stopping Daniel Ryan…..

Bianca: ……(whips some more whip cream from her ears)…..

_TO BE CONTINUED_……..

--Next Week…..On Heroes…..--

Nathan: What the hell is going on here!? What is this place!?

--It's the episode critics are saying…."_I missed Grey's Anatomy for this?!"--_

Niki: Who the hell is that!?

Matt: It's…..me?

Standing next to a tree in the middle of the woods is _Alternative Matt_. He places his right hand (which was covered up) on a tree which explodes in a millions pieces.

Niki: Oh, that is sooooo not cool.

Matt: Oh man, if he does that to Claire, do we have to put her back together like _Humpty Dumpty?_

Niki: Of course you would make jokes at a time like this!!

--Anything goes because……one…--

Dramatic close up of Claire…

--…of….--

Dramatic close up of Peter…

--….these…--

Dramatic close up of Niki.

--…Heroes…--

Dramatic close up of Nathan.

--…..will….--

Dramatic close up of Hiro.

--……DIE!--……..

Matt: EEK!

--…….._LAUGHING!--_

Claire: What?!

--….._When they purchase 'You Don't Mess With The Zohan!' starring Adam Sandler! His funniest movie since…EVER!_….._On DVD now! Buy it NOW!--_

Niki: I really hate this show…..

--And more things are happening!--

Peter and Sylar stand off in the Alaskan Remote Village….a tumbleweed stops in the middle….

Sylar: Uh….you want to take care of that?

Peter runs up and kicks it out of the way.

Matt and Claire are running through the forest!

Sandra Bennett burns the roast!

Lyle has to go buy some eggs!

Mr. Muggles is sleeping!

Elle electrocutes something!

Hiro and Ando are in the school auditorium listening to a motivational speaker.

Hiro: Uhh…….

_Gabriel (aka Alt-Sylar) takes the podium_.

Gabriel: Hello, students! I'm going to teach you about the importance of…._friendship_.

Hiro and Ando look at each other, confused like hell……

-An all new chapter, next week!-


	19. Into The Darkness

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 19: Into The Darkness

Note: Sorry, another delay. This past month has been a mess, hope you like this chapter. Even though I'm only a a bit into Volume 3 I am ready to start over with a brand new story. (I've said that before, but I'm ready to start Parody Project 2). So there will be a few chapters left before the final chapter of this story/volume. Again, thanks to everybody for reading these and putting up with me. I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

---

On tonight's episode of Heroes….we take you back…..to the past…..before our Heroes became….Heroes!……For this is _A Flashback Episode!_

Doctor: Congratulations, Mrs. Petrelli!_It's a boy!_

Angela: Uh….don't you think this is _a little too far back?_

Doctor: This is a perfectly healthy baby……_now don't go on jacking with his DNA and giving him special abilities now_….

Angela: What the hell are you talking about!?

Doctor: _I say that to all the mothers_….

Angela: I see…..

---

And before we start the show, in honor of Thanksgiving followed by the evil '_Black Friday'_. But nobody cares about that day because it destroys lives.

The cast of Heroes sits around the dinner table.

Peter: Merry Thanksgiving everyone! This is my favorite holiday!

Mohinder: Yes, and I do hope Parkman got us a good Turkey this year.

Matt: You won't be disappointed! Bring it out, Mrs. Bennett!

Sandra brings out the Turkey Matt brought home….which was no Turkey at all…..

Claire: Oh my god!...._It's the NBC Peacock!_

Peter faints.

Niki: Matt! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Matt: …What did I do now!?…….(Slowly eating another bite of 'Turkey')

And now we can start…..finally…..

Mohinder: _Previously…on Heroes_…..

A young man, Daniel Ryan, creates a world within his dream. A horrible place, he plans to unleash upon the real world when he awakes from his comatose state on November 11th, 2011, at 11:11:11.

Guard: Is it me or is that way to many elevens?

Guard 2: It's you.

One Hero has to work with this man against his will.

Ando: Hiro, I don't understand why we have to be at this silly school.

Hiro: So we can get to the bottom of this mess involving the real world! Vanquish the bad guy, and restore peace to the world.

Ando: Oh yeah, like that always works.

Bully: I'm going to fight you now!

Hiro: Uh oh…

Bully: AHHH! I'm scared now!

Hiro and Ando exchange looks while a mysterious figure watches the scene, chuckling to himself.

---

A group of misfits….

Elle: That's us!

Trying to track down evil of their own.

Noah: All we know for sure is that Sylar took up employment at an office complex downtown. To do evil things no doubt!

Elle: Let us be off!

Sylar (the alternate one) sends them flying; he goes off flying as well.

Noah: Which wouldn't have happened if _someone used there power to cut off people's abilities._

Haitian: Hmph!

Mohinder (arriving on the scene): What happened to Sylar?

Noah: He ran off….

Mohinder: We must use Molly to find him…

Niki: She's at camp with Micah, remember?

Mohinder: Then we're going camping….

Matt: Yay!

---

Sylar (the real one) wakes up in a fictional town in Alaska after being sent to Antarctica by Peter.

Bianca: I'm Bianca, the sultry nurse. And I'm going to keep you warm!

Sylar: Yikes!

---

Meanwhile, in Peter's subplot….

Nathan: Mom is marrying some weird King!

Claire: Yes, you've said that in the recap for like the past 6 chapters….

Nathan: No I didn't!

Alternate Claire and Nathan show up.

Nathan: Oh swell…..

Peter and Alt-Nathan fight in the sky, Nathan gets sent into space.

Peter: _Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!_

That didn't happen…..

Peter: Aw…..

Alt-Angela comes up behind Real Nathan and sends him into the Alt-World. She then disappears with Alt-Claire. Alt-Angela sent the real Angela there as well earlier.

Peter: Who did what now? I'm so confused……

---

Peter sends the real Claire somewhere safe….in the path of an oncoming car driven by Matt Parkman and friends!

Noah: You just ran over Claire you moron!

Matt: Oh please, it's not like she can't heal or anything….

---

Bianca gets on the phone.

Bianca: Dr. Addelburg?......What?! She's gone….

In Paris, Dr. Markus Addelburg (aka King Richard) is on the phone.

Markus: Yes, and I must find Angela…. or I lose any chances of getting back into the alternate world and stopping Daniel Ryan……

---End Of Recap---

Mohinder: _Fate. What is it? A binding force controlled by the powers that be. For we are nothing but pawns on this chess board of life. Surrounded by choices, every move, can lead us to victory, or trap us for inevitable failure. Though with careful consideration, we can all make the right choices. Though all it takes is one wrong step, for us to fall from the light, and plummet into the darkness._

Matt:…_you take the good you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…The Facts Of Life!!_

Mohinder: STOP INTERRUPTING MY MONOLOGUES!!!

Matt: EEK!

_Matt, Noah, and Friends  
Yogi Bear National Park_

_Don't steal Yogi's picnic basket, or he'll bite you! Just kidding_…._he'll eat your face._

The car pulls up to the front parking in front of the Camp Lobby. Everyone hauls out of the car, Elle slamming the door to reveal:

_CHAPTER 19: INTO THE DARKNESS_

Elle: About freaking time we got here!

Mohinder: All right, team. According to the sign the front lobby should be down this road.

A man crawls up and tugs on Matt's pant leg.

Matt: Oh, hello there!

Man (gasping): …..camp…….camp…….cursed…..

Matt: What?

Man: You………save……..them…..

Matt: Huh?

Man: They……(gasp)……trouble……

Matt: What are you trying to say?

Man: Children……trouble…..

Matt: Are you hungry, little fella?

Man: What!?

Matt: Here, I was going to eat this but…..oh what the hell it's Christmas!

Niki: No it's not.

Matt: You can have it, friend.

Matt hands the stranger his Box _Lunchables Meal_. It's Pizza, A Capri Sun, and a Snickers Bar, Wicked Awesome!

Man: But…..I hate……Lunchables…..eergh….(passes out)

Matt: Hmm….I guess he didn't want it. Oh well, I get to keep it then….

_Hiro and Ando  
The High School Of Doom  
10 Points To Gryffindor House!_

Ando: Uh Hiro….

Hiro: Yes, Ando.

Ando: I was thinking, don't you think it was kinda odd that the bully ran away like that. It was like he was under some sort of spell.

Hiro: Spell?! Yeah right Ando. Like Magic and Spells exist. That's only fantasy stuff. This is the real world, you know.

He looks at his watch.

Hiro: AHH! We're late for class.

He grabs Ando's shoulder and teleports. They appear in front of the door to their next class. 'Drama 101'.

Teacher: I was wondering when you two were going to get here! We already assigned roles for the school play, so you'll have to deal with what you've been assigned.

Hiro looks at the script for 'Great Expectations'.

Hiro: Oh man….

_Peter Petrelli  
The Outskirts Of Antarctica  
Sure is cold. Only a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup will warm me up. AHH! I forget my can opener! Crap a duck!_

Peter teleports to Antarctica, in search for Sylar. Who he banished there many episodes ago.

Peter: Okay, Sylar. I know you're up to something.

Peter walks over to find the frozen ice tomb where he put Sylar was shattered.

Peter: Oh, that can't be good.

_Nathan Petrelli  
Alt-World Prison Cell  
Good work, Gumshoes! With Nathan Petrelli in jail, we're one step closer to finding Carmen Santiago! (Apologies if you don't get that reference)_

Nathan wakes up…..

Nathan: What the?

Nathan looks around to find himself in a prison cell, all covered in white, with only one window. He looks outside to see the havoc and destruction throughout the city which has not changed since Hiro and Ando where in the same cell….many episodes ago.

Nathan: What the hell is this place?

He looks across the hall to see Angela Petrelli (the real one), unconscious in her cell.

Meanwhile, in the fictional Alaskan village. Bianca is on the phone with Dr. Markus Addelburg.

Bianca: Are you serious?! You lost Angela Petrelli?

Markus (aka King Richard): Yes, but that's the thing Bianca, I still need to find out if she's the real one or her alternate version. Either way, if I don't find her the world is doomed! Doomed, I tell you!

Bianca: Well, where are you now?

Markus: What? Why would you ask that? You know that I'm undercover as King Richard here at Angela's castle in Paris. Don't tell me you forgot that.

Bianca (writing it down): Oh yeah, that's right….I did forget….

Markus: Are you all right, Bianca?

Bianca: Just perfect. I'll talk to you later.

Markus: But!

Bianca hangs up and gets on an ear piece.

Bianca (talking to someone): Hey, are you there. I have his location.

Meanwhile in Paris, one of the guards walks in.

Guard: Sir, I still cannot find her!

Markus: Well, keep looking…

The guard turns and heads out the door.

Markus turns around to look out the window, a red beam of light focuses on his forehead. A sniper fires his rifle, the window shatters, and Markus falls to the floor.

Meanwhile, back in Fictional Alaskan Village. Sylar walks into the clinic.

Sylar: Yoo Hoo! Crazy Lady…..I wanted to stop by to talk to you……_I promise I won't kill you or anything_. And if I do you can blame it on my involuntary hunger to kill things…..yes….._involuntary_…..

Sylar walks past a bed, underneath it is the body of Bianca.

Sylar: Hello? You in here, or what?

Bianca's Voice: Just a second….

In the bathroom, is the Alternate version of Elle is brushing her hair. _She shape shifts into a form that resembles Bianca_; then walks out to meet Sylar.

---_As the world turns, but not too fast, for I may toss my cookies (i.e. to vomit)_……_Heroes!---_

_Mohinder, Noah, and Friends  
The Camp Site Of Impending Doom  
Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah, Here I am at…Camp Granada!_

Mohinder (ringing the bell at the front desk): Hello! (Ding! Ding!) Anybody here!?

Niki: I don't think anybody's working today….

Noah: If the children are here, shouldn't there be people here.

Elle: It's like a ghost town….kinda creepy….

Noah: Elle's right, we should split up into groups.

Elle: _I didn't say that!_

Noah: Claire, Mohinder, Niki, Matt, The Haitian and myself will stay here. Elle, you go off into the woods.

Elle: _I don't wanna go into the woods!_

Noah: Come on, get out there! Be a team player!

Elle: _I don't wanna be a team player!_

Niki: How about some of us stay here and the others go look in the woods.

Mohinder: Good idea.

Claire: I'm okay with that.

Noah: Sounds fair.

Matt: Sure.

Elle: I agree.

The Haitian nods.

Niki: So….who's staying here?

Everyone: _I am_.

Niki: Oookay. That didn't work.

Mohinder: I think I may have a plausible solution to our dilemma.

Niki: Well, spill it.

Mohinder walks behind the counter and searches through the desk.

Mohinder: We'll draw straws.

Niki rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile, in the High School of Doom's Drama 101 Class…

Ando (dressed as Pip from 'Great Expectations'): Ms. Havisham?......Are you here?

Hiro (dressed as Ms. Havisham, crusty wedding dress and all): This is so humiliating….

Ando: How are you doing today, Ms. Havisham?

Hiro (old lady voice): What was that, sonny?

Ando: I got your newspaper, Ms. Havisham.

Hiro: What?

Ando: I got your newspaper.

Hiro: WHAT!?

Ando: NEWSPAPER!

Hiro: WHHAAAAT?!

Hiro's dentures fall out onto the floor.

Hiro: Whoops!

Teacher: That was the most horrible display I've ever seen. I'm so insulted. I can't do this anymore!!!

The teacher runs out of the room crying.

Ando: Good going, stupid!

Hiro: You're the one who used all my Polident Denture Grip to glue your trapper keeper back together!

Ando: Well, my crap was falling out!

Intercom: Attention Students. Please report to the auditorium for the afternoon assembly. Thank You.

Hiro: Finally!

Hiro lifts up his dress and sprints out of the room.

Ando: Uh….Hiro……Hiro?

In Antarctica….

Sylar: So….Bianca….

Bianca (Actually Alt-Elle): Yes?

Sylar: I….wanted to stop by to thank you for taking care of me.

Bianca: Yup……no problem.

Sylar: If it wasn't for you….I would still be in Antarctica frozen…..but I did wanted to ask….

Bianca: Yes?

Sylar: …..What can you do?

Bianca: Oh you know….different things….

Sylar: You sound different….

Bianca: No I don't.

Sylar: Hmm….

Bianca: Before you go….let me take your blood pressure….

Bianca looks over his arm….to find nothing.

Bianca: No tattoo….

Sylar: Tattoo?

Bianca: Uh….what did I say….just ignore me….I'm being stupid.

Sylar: I don't have any tattoos…..except for a Garfield one on my ankle….but it's temporary…..

He takes a step back, his foot submerged in a puddle of blood oozing out from under the bed.

Sylar: What the?....

Bianca: Uh.....

Sylar: You killed this person!.....How rude!....I mean, you could've at least cleaned up a little……

Bianca: Well….gotta run…

Bianca shape shifts back into Alt-Elle, and jumps out the window.

Sylar: HEY! Wait!....

He is about to take off when….

Peter's Voice: _Sylar! I know you're in there_!

Sylar: …..Oh, here we go……

Back at the camp site….

Niki: Okay, I chopped up the straws into groups of short and long ones. Anybody who draws a short straw stays here. Anybody who pulls a long straw is apart of the away team. Got it?

Everybody agrees.

Noah: Well, lets get some obvious things out of the way first. I want Claire to stay here.

Claire: Not a chance! I'm tired of being the one to stay behind. I want some action!

Noah hands her a book of Sudoku puzzles.

Claire: This isn't what I had in mind.

Mohinder: Well, let's draw straws anyway.

Everyone gathers together.

Mohinder: Okay, anybody who gets a long straw stays behind. Short straws go into the forest to look for the children.

Matt: Well, I should go into the forest to look for Molly.

Niki: I'll go with you, to find Micah of course.

Claire: I'll go with them.

Haitian: And I'll protect them.

Noah: Okay, that can work. So Elle, Myself, and Mohinder will stay here.

Mohinder: Oookay, I guess I got the straws for nothing.

_Sandra and Lyle Bennett  
The Bennett Home_

_Cooking Dinner, the excitement never stops!_

Sandra screams bloody murder, and runs through the kitchen, living room, up the stairs, and finally bursting into Lyle's room.

Sandra: Lyle! We must take action; we have a real Bennett family emergency!

Lyle: What's wrong? Did Mr. Muggles break a nail?

Sandra: Don't even joke about that Lyle; you know we had to spend endless hours in the emergency room when that happened.

Lyle: -Sigh-….

Sandra: Brace yourself, my son…….we're out of eggs!

Lyle: ….And?

Sandra: AND!?

Lyle: …..and…….we can get some at the store….

Sandra: But….I'm cooking a huge dinner! It will be ruined!

Lyle: Don't you think you're freaking out a little too much….

Sandra: It will tear this family apart!

Lyle: Fine, fine….I'll go to the store already….

Sandra: Make haste, my son….._time is of the essence!_

Lyle: Whatever!

Back in Alt-World….

Nathan wakes up to the sound of guests entering his cell…

Nathan: Who the hell are you?

Daniel: My name is Daniel Ryan…..and this is my world you are in….

Nathan: Uh……riiight……

Daniel: You are going to work for me….

Nathan: ….I work for nobody…

Daniel: I was afraid you were going to say that……so I'll have to resort to alternate methods of persuasion.

Nathan: You mean torture.

Daniel: Yes.

Nathan: You could've just said torture.

Daniel: Well, I wanted to be dramatic.

Nathan: I'm not buying it.

Daniel: Well, I'm not trying to impress you.

Nathan: That's a good thing, because I'm not impressed.

Daniel: Enough! Oh Claire!?....

Nathan: Claire?

Alt-Claire walks into the cell.

Nathan: You're not really Claire….

Daniel: That's right….she's the alternate version of her….

Nathan: How are you doing this?

Daniel: It's only a small sampling of my world that will soon become reality.

Nathan: God, you're so full of it.

Daniel (to Alt-Claire): Make him change his mind.

Alt-Claire: As you wish…..

She pulls out a blade, covered with salt….

Nathan: Uh…..don't you think that's a little extreme?

She holds the blade in front of herself, plunging it into her abdomen. Nathan collapses on the floor writhing in pain.

Nathan: Urrrrgh…….aaaahhhh……okay, you win….you win…..

Daniel: Come with me……

Nathan manages to get to his feet….he walks past Claire….

Nathan: _Don't think your mother isn't going to hear about this…_

Back in the Alaskan Fictional Village. Peter bangs on the Clinic door.

Sylar: How did you find me?

Peter: I'm super smart.

Sylar: No you're not.

Peter: How rude!

Sylar: I came here to rest after you tried to freeze me to death.

Peter: Come out, Come out….Sylar…..or….I'll blow this place down.

Sylar: _Not by the hairs of my chiny chin chin_…..what the hell am I doing?!

Peter: You leave me no choice…….

Peter teleports inside the clinic behind Sylar.

Sylar: Oh crap, I didn't think about that.

Peter sends Sylar flying up against the wall.

Sylar scrambles back up to his feet and grabs Peter's throat, ice starts to spread throughout his body.

Sylar: Uh….yes…..this……I feel…..like I'm getting my powers back……..

Peter is frozen in a solid ice block, Sylar decides to escape through the window and go after 'Bianca'.

Mohinder, Noah, and Elle are sitting around the main front desk.

Elle: I'm bored.

Noah: We'll you're the one who wanted to be a chicken and stay here.

Elle: I'm not a chicken……ahh! I dropped my M&M's!

She folds out her arms and pecks at the ground, nabbing at her candies.

Elle: _BAWK!_

Noah: Ugh….

Mohinder: I sure do hope the children are alright.

A door slams shut.

Elle: EEK!

They see an older lady standing there with a cat on her shoulder.

Elle: It's a crazy cat lady!

Noah: Don't be ridiculous….it's probably an employee.

Noah approaches the woman.

Noah: Excuse me Miss…..

Old Lady: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

A cat jumps in Noah's face and claws him.

Noah: AHH! CRAP!

The old lady runs to the side and hits a switch. Green gas starts bellowing in the room.

Elle: Oh no! Knockout gas!

Mohinder: I'm going to have to say this isn't good for us.

Noah: Okay, she's a crazy cat lady.

Elle: I told you!

Noah: Do….something….already….(passes out)

Elle fires off a bolt of electricity at the lady, who falls to the ground. She runs across the room and examines the wall.

Elle: Dammit! There's…..nothing…..I…..can't……(slumps to the ground).

Mohinder: You can't do this….who….will……do…..the…..monologues…….uuuughh…(passes out)

Meanwhile, in the forest, Matt, Niki, Claire, and The Haitian are walking through the forest. (Duh)

Niki: Do you even know where you are going?

Matt: Yes, I'm trying to follow the map.

Niki: That's not a map, that's a _Monopoly Board_!

Matt: Shut up! Now we just need to turn left at this tree near Boardwalk and Park Place….then we can pass go for our 200 dollars, sweet!

Niki: Good going! Now were lost!

Matt: You're right, we should set up a tent, it's getting late.

Niki: No it's not….the sun is still out.

Matt (who was fortunately carrying some camp equipment) starts to set up the tent.

Claire: When did you get that stuff?

Matt: Had it all along.

Niki: Whatever.

Matt: Okay, I'll set up the tent. Niki, you go over that way and get some wood for a fire. Claire, you go with the Haitian and find some food. The Haitian will protect you so nobody will chop off your scalp and pick at your brain or anything.

Claire: You don't have to remind me!

Matt: Okay, let's go team!

Niki: Your stupid camp set doesn't have food?

Matt: Or logs for fire, so unless you want to freeze out here.

Niki: It's not that cold….you're just being a sissy!

Matt: Am not!

Niki: Are too!

Matt: Am not!

Claire: I really don't know if it's worse being paired up with these two or Peter and Nathan.

Haitian: Try being paired up with Bennett and Elle.

Claire: Good point.

Meanwhile, Hiro and Ando sit down in at the assembly.

Ando: I wonder what this is all about…..and _why are you still wearing that dress?_

Hiro: It's soft….

Ando: We'll get rid of it, it smells.

Hiro: You just don't know what clean clothes smell like (he takes a whiff)…._COUGH! COUGH! HACK!_....oh my goodness…..it smells like dead fish!....

Ando: I told you!

Hiro rips off the dress, which he fortunately still has his original clothes on.

Hiro: There, much better.

Some other students start gagging.

Student: What's that smell?

Other Student: It's that guy! The new kid!

Hiro: It's not me! It was the wedding dress I was wearing!

Ando: Nice job…..

Hiro: Uh oh, this is bad….my clothes still smell….

Ando: Uh…..Hiro?

Hiro: I need some Febreeze; I can't keep smelling like this….

Ando: Hiro?

Hiro: My social life is ruined!

Ando: HIRO!!

Hiro: What?

Ando: Look!

They look forward to see _Sylar (Alternate) _podium.

Hiro: Gah!

Gabriel: Hello fellow students….

Hiro: That's….

Ando: …..Sylar!

Hiro: He's supposed to be dead! I stabbed him at the Kirby Plaza.

Ando: I'm not even going to explain that one….

Hiro: What horrible things is he up to?

Gabriel: I wanted to speak to the students today….about the importance of _friendship_.

Hiro: WHAT!?

Ando: That doesn't sound like Sylar at all.

Hiro (standing up): THAT MAN'S A FRAUD!

The student's gasp.

Ando: Hiro, be careful. He might make you waffles….

Hiro runs up to Gabriel and starts tugging at his cheeks.

Gabriel: Uh…

Hiro: Take off that mask, you fraud!

Ando (to student next to him): I don't know that guy…..

Elsewhere, Lyle enters the grocery store.

Lyle: Let's see…..Small Eggs….Medium Eggs…..Large Grade A Eggs….Brown Eggs…….hmm…..

He feels someone tapping on his shoulder. He turns around to see a woman…

Woman: Excuse me sir….you look familiar….is your mother Sandra Bennett?

Lyle: Yeah…..who are you?

Woman: My name is Celeste….and I'm a friend of your mothers….

Lyle: That's nice…

Celeste: Say….did she mention anything about entering the annual baking competition this year.

Lyle: I don't know, I try to avoid being involved in any sub-plots, they usually end in trouble.

Celeste: Well, here's the thing…

Lyle: Here we go…

Celeste: Every year, Sandra Bennett always makes me lose the annual baking competition. All I want to do is win.

Lyle: I really don't want to listen to this.

Celeste: But if I know her….she'll want to participate this year. I'm sure she's mentioned something!

Lyle: I usually don't pay attention.

Celeste: But she won't win this year. I have a bargaining chip which means she'll have to drop out.

Lyle: What's that?

Celeste: I'm staring right at it.

Lyle: ….Eggs? Fine whatever, I'm off to the arcade.

Celeste: Guess again.

Lyle: You're kidnapping me? Oh please, I think I can overpower you.

Celeste giggles as she is joined by a giant bouncer looking guy with a club in hand.

Lyle: Uh……okay, I'll come along.

In the forest…

Matt (in the tent): There, it's finished.

Claire: It's kinda small.

Matt: Not a problem, we can take turns sleeping….in shifts….

Claire: That doesn't sound fun.

Niki enters the tent.

Matt: AHH! _It's the Blair Witch!_

Niki: Shut up! We got a problem.

Matt: What?

Niki: Come out here.

Matt: I can't….I'm stuck.

Niki: Get your butt out here.

Matt gets up and joins Niki outside. Suddenly, a loud explosion is heard.

Matt: What the?

Niki: I don't know what's going on around here…..

Matt: It's….getting louder….

Niki: I think it's in this direction….

Niki starts to head off, Matt follows her.

Sylar is running through a field spots Alt-Elle.

Sylar: You……

Alt-Elle: Okay…..you caught me.

Sylar: What's up?.....No electricity…..You can shape shift…..What gives?

Alt-Elle: Listen, stay back. You're not the one I'm looking for?

Sylar: Spill it….

He is distracted by Peter tackling him. Alt-Elle takes off running again.

Sylar: ARGH! What the hell man? I almost had her.

Peter: Who….is that Elle?

Sylar: I…..I don't know.

Peter: Were you trying to get a date?

Sylar: No!

Peter: Yes you were…..That was Elle wasn't it?

Sylar: No, it wasn't.

Peter: You like Elle! Hah!

Sylar: No I don't, jerk!

Peter (singing): Sylar and Elle….sittin in a tree….I don't know the rest of the song….

Sylar: You're an idiot.

Peter: That reminds me, I don't appreciate being frozen in solid ice. It's very cold.

Sylar: You did it to me first!

Peter: That's because you're a _Villain_…..and I'm a _Hero_….it's a natural balance of things.

Sylar: I don't have time for this………he sprints behind a fence.

Peter: Don't run away….it's very not cool…..

Sylar: Looking for me?

Peter turns around and spots Sylar.

Peter: How did you get over there?

Peter walks over and holds his hands out, it phases through Sylar's body, which suddenly fades away.

Peter: Oh crap a duck…..I forgot he had that power…..which means he has his powers back….this isn't good.

He looks around, Sylar being nowhere to be found.

Peter: I let him get away….I better get the _Heroes together_.

_MEANWHILE, AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE_

Peter: _Super Friends_. We need your help. Sylar is on the loose.

Superman: Who let you in here?

Batman: And who is this _Sylar?_

Robin: _Holy Crossovers Batman!_

Batman: Quiet, you!

Wonder Woman: We have bigger problems to deal with.

Peter: Yes, Wonder Woman. I will go out with you.

Wonder Woman: I didn't say that.

Peter: Now, let's go save the city! _Wonder Twin Powers Activate!_

Peter holds his fist out…….and…..nothing.

Peter: Uh…..

Peter gets tossed outside of the _HALL OF JUSTICE_.

Peter: Fine! I see how it is. See if I help you……And Superman! Betrayed by my favorite hero…hmph…...I'll show him. _I'll get him Kryptonite Laced Underwear for Christmas_….heh, heh, heh……

Peter looks around.

Peter: Who the hell am I talking to?

Niki and Matt continue to walk through the forest.

Niki: This is one messed up camp site!

Matt: Tell me about it.

Off in the distance they see someone there.

Niki: Hello? Whose there?

Matt: Maybe it's a Jolly Ranger…..not a Jolly Rancher….I hate those….I always choke on them.

Niki: Yes, you've done it like….a million times already.

Matt: Yeah….stupid tiny death cubes…….(he pops one in his mouth and starts choking)….HACK! AHHHGH!

Niki: Ugh…..

Another loud explosion is heard, the mysterious man walks up to Niki and Matt…..and reveals him self as _Matt's Alternative self_.

Niki: What in the?

Matt: It's me!....Or…..someone who looks like me.

Alt-Matt: You're trying to find the children?

Matt: Uh….no…..

Alt-Matt: Don't lie to me…..it will only result in your demise.

Niki: He sounds far more intellectual than you.

Matt: Hey!

Alt-Matt right hand is covered; he pulls off the portion of cloth that is draped over it. And placed his hand on a tree. The tree explodes into a million pieces.

Niki: Oh no….

Matt: Yeah….we should probably run now….unless….

Matt shoots him a squint, attempting to control his mind.

Niki: Uh….

Matt: He's blocking me!....No fair!

Niki: Run now!

They both take off running. Alt-Matt chuckles as he covers his arm again. And nonchalantly pursues them.

Back at the Bennett's….

Sandra: Where in the world is Lyle? I need my eggs to finish my cake!.....Oh well….I guess I can get on the internet in the meantime.

Sandra sits at the computer to access her America Online account.

Mail: _You've Got Ransom Mail_!

Sandra: WHAT!?

Sandra opens it to find a video message from Celeste.

Sandra: Not Celeste! My sworn nemesis….she is…._A VILLIAN!_

Sandra gets up and grabs her coat.

Sandra: Get ready Mr. Muggles! We have to go save Lyle……..and save the world!

Mr. Muggles: -_Disappointed Growl-_

Elsewhere, Mohinder opens his eyes….his fuzzy vision turns to normal as he notices the crazy cat lady standing in front of him…well…outside his cage at least.

Mohinder: _CAGE!?_

OCCL (Old Crazy Cat Lady): That's right! I have you and your friends in cages.

Mohinder looks over to find Noah and Elle in their respective cages, for they have not come to yet.

Mohinder: What do you want with us? You better let us go, or I'll start a monologue!

OCCL: Don't threaten me, mister!

Mohinder: That's it! You asked for it.

Mohinder: _As fate continues to fall into place, individuals live their lives normally. As others, others who are considered special, live amongst the shadows…_

OCCL: UGH! STOP!

Mohinder: Let us out, I have millions of pages more!

OCCL: Listen, I know where the children are…

Mohinder: You do?

OCCL: Yes…..but if you want to see them again….you will have to play a little game for me.

Mohinder: It better be _Old Maid_, because that's all I know how to play!

OCCL: Shut up!......You and your friends will go on a scavenger hunt and hunt down this list of items.

Mohinder: What if we don't?

OCCL: Then….you won't see the children again. I assumed you came to that conclusion already.

Mohinder: Oh yeah….

OCCL: Find these 9 items and bring them to me….and I will let the children free.

Mohinder: What makes me want to trust you?....And better yet, what makes you think we'll even play along once you release us.

OCCL: I've had tacking chips installed in all three of you while you were asleep.

Mohinder: ACK!

OCCL: You've received your instructions!......

She makes her way out, flipping a switch, unlocking the cages.

Mohinder: ……..

Back at the school, Hiro and Ando follow Gabriel (Alt-Sylar) into the teacher's lounge.

Hiro: Okay, why are you here? And why are you acting so nice?

Gabriel: I can explain everything. But you must pay close attention.

Hiro and Ando are playing patty-cake.

Hiro: What?

Gabriel: Right…..well, you ready for some time travel?

Hiro: Never! It always leads to trouble.

Gabriel: You're working for a man who can kill you on the spot while he's in a coma. And judging by your track record you're pretty much used to getting in trouble.

Ando: He has a point.

Hiro: Don't agree with him!

Gabriel: The man you are looking for is still out there somewhere, I am his alternate self. For I come from the alternate world….

Ando: Hiro! From the plane. He told us he was from the alternate world….then he died.

Gabriel: Yes, that is the one rule, don't talk about the world. Or you will be eliminated.

Hiro: How are none of us dying…

Gabriel: Well, don't tell anybody who isn't from the world about it. But that doesn't matter…..we need to go back in time……

Ando: How long will this last?

Gabriel: Don't worry, only a little bit. It won't last 14 episodes.

Hiro: I wasn't in Feudal Japan that long. Drop it already!

Hiro grabs Gabriel and Ando and teleports to…….

_Eight Years Ago_…..

Hiro, Ando, and Gabriel appear in someone's house.

Hiro: Where are we?

Gabriel: This is where Daniel Ryan lives………

They notice a doctor walk in, heading up some stairs.

Gabriel: Around this time, Daniel Ryan was stricken with a mysterious illness that sent him into a coma. His physician, Dr. Markus Addelburg had no idea how long he would be in his state. But little did he know…that Ryan had an ability. You see, when we dream, we usually have no control. When it begins, when it ends, what's happening. Nobody really has control of what they're dreaming about. But he did. He created a world within his dream, a place he considered his home. But, in order to make this world of his bigger, he needed more knowledge of the real world.

They teleport back to present time.

Hiro: That's what we're doing at the school.

Gabriel: Heh….right…..I'll get to that.

Hiro: …..

Gabriel: He only had one way to gain resources from the outside world. In fact he shared what you would call….a psychic link….with his biological father……_Thomas Fox_.

Hiro: Thomas Fox?! He was the man who owned the casino.

Gabriel: Right, and Addelburg eventually found out what Ryan could do because him and Fox were good friends. There's no telling where he is now….._he could be pretending to be a king for all I know_.

Ando: Wait, Fox didn't have a son.

Hiro: That's right! He had a daughter, the crazy one that liked chocolate milk and Claire Bennett couldn't stand her.

Gabriel: Thomas Fox does have a daughter, though his son was from…..someone else.

Hiro: Oooooh!

Gabriel: Fox and his mistress didn't want Fox's wife to find out about the child, so they gave him up for adoption. But, she found out anyway which is why Fox's wife left him.

Ando: Interesting.

Hiro: It's like a Soap Opera!

Gabriel: Riiight. (Rolls eyes). Anyway, Fox found out that his son was in a coma and could still communicate with him even though he was in his present state. Fox also had the ability to absorb information about anybody's DNA and send it to Ryan. Ryan would feed off this, and thus…any person he wanted was under his control in his world.

Hiro: Including you?

Gabriel: Well….you see…..it's different with me. Anybody who is in the alternate dream world is…well…alternate from this world….the Gabriel Grey in this world is evil, so thus….I'm friendlier.

Ando: That would explain why we're not dead yet.

Gabriel: Exactly.

Hiro: You're telling us all this. Why aren't you eliminated?

Gabriel: Ryan made a mistake of giving me the power of _Literary Manipulation_.

Hiro: What?

Gabriel: Anything I write down in this book….happens…well, most of the time.

Ando: That's….different.

Hiro: That is a strange power indeed.

Gabriel: Let me continue, as time went on Daniel had more information to build his world. Alt-Hiro, even though he was an alternate, had a prophetic vision about Daniel awakening. His dream would become so powerful; it would engulf the real world. Destroying everything. This day was to fall on November 11th, 2011. At 11:11:11. Eleven years later…..The number eleven always played an important role in Ryan's life. In fact he was eleven when he fell ill….and anybody who was an alternate had the number 11 tattooed on their arm just to identify who they are. See? (He lifts up his sleeve).

Hiro: So, what happened with Fox?

Gabriel: Killed. He has pretty much all he needs to awaken.

Hiro: So if he's going to awaken then, why are there other alternative people who are bad here?

Gabriel: Because, he wants to kill off as many people who can stop him as he can before the time comes.

Ando: And how is he going to do that?

Gabriel: By sending his alternatives here, of course. He has someone who can teleport between worlds….and that person is Angela Petrelli, the alternate one that is.

Hiro: I see.

Gabriel: If you want to save the world….you must go back into alt-world….and bring Peter Petrelli with you. He can take Alt-Angela's power. Then kill Ryan…….and get out of there.

Hiro: I see. Can you come with us?

Gabriel: No…..because he has a list. Before I left, I had to make a list of people Ryan can keep track of. And if anybody got in his way, or in the case they were in the real world and telling the truth about the alt-world, all Ryan would have to do is scratch off their name and they would be eliminated. I was smart though, and wrote my name in red ink, symbolizing that I couldn't be eliminated. I'm good, so of course I wanted to escape alt-world.

Ando: So….if you couldn't be eliminated. Why can't you come with us?

Gabriel: What I've done gave me immunity yes….but if I were to return, I would forfeit my power on the spot. However, if you stop Ryan, all the alternatives will perish with him. It is imperative that you stop him.

Hiro: How do we get back?

Gabriel: The only person who can teleport are Alt-Angela….and Alt-Peter….but nobody knows what happened to him. You have to find one of those two, and how you can do it I'm not sure.

Ando: But, I'm confused. We're working for Ryan to gather resources.

Gabriel: Because it's a trap. The alt-Hiro was killed and you two ended up in the other world. Ryan sent you here to distract you, while he'll send someone else here….to kill you.

Hiro: That's okay. I'll stop time before any of that happens.

Gabriel: Depending on who he sends….you might not have a chance to.

Hiro: ….

Gabriel: Find a way back into alt-world, and put this to an end.

Gabriel makes his leave.

Hiro: Wow, another crazy adventure.

Ando: When this is over I'm leaving Earth.

Sandra and Mr. Muggles are outside a warehouse.

Sandra: This is it. Mr. Muggles. We save Lyle, and then we save the world.

Mr. Muggles: _Whine_…..(translated: '_You've got to be kidding me')_

Sandra kicks open the door, armed with a rolling pin.

Sandra: Stop villain!

A net drops on top of them.

Sandra: ACK!

Celeste walks up.

Celeste: Sandra. How nice of you to drop by.

Sandra: Release my son, you old crow!

Celeste: Drop out of the contest. So I can win.

Sandra: Of course! I wouldn't put my family's life before some stupid contest.

Celeste: STUPID!?!? STUPID!?.......I can't believe……I'm going to keep you here until after the contest. So I can rub my trophy in your face.

Sandra: Oh fiddle sticks…..

In alt-world, Nathan walks into the main room where Daniel Ryan is standing.

Daniel: Ready to cooperate?

Nathan: Uh….no.

Daniel: Good.

Nathan: ….

Daniel: These two…(Hold up a photo of Hiro and Ando)…..

Nathan: Where did you get that picture?

Daniel: That doesn't matter. These two are traitors….and I want you to kill them.

Nathan: I would never do that….and even if I wanted to…..Hiro can stop time.

Daniel: Don't worry….you'll get help. Meet your new partner.

Nathan turns around to see _Alt-Noah_ standing in the doorway with a sniper rifle in hand.

Nathan: You have got to be kidding me……

_To Be Continued_…..

Next Time….

Alt-Matt: You've got nowhere to hide….

Claire: Not good.

---

Nathan: You can't do this!

Alt-Noah aims his rifle at the back of Hiro's head.

---

Micah: Mom! Matt! You found us!

Molly: Matt! Flip the lever to let us out!

Matt looks at the levers. One marked '_Release Cage Door'_, and the other one marked '_Release Trap Door Under Molly's Cage'_.

Matt: I don't know which one!

Molly: Did you really have to bring him along?

Next Time On Heroes……


	20. You Will Be Saved

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 20: You Will Be Saved

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Mohinder: Good evening. I'm Dr. Mohinder Suresh, and I join you tonight on this very special episode of Heroes. I….really don't know why it's so special. But for now we bring you what happened in last week's episode. Unfortunately, we lost all the stock footage of what happened and due to the fact that almost all of the cast is off work right now, last week's recap will be performed by Peter Petrelli.

Peter: WHAT!?

Mohinder: _Previously on Heroes…_

Peter: Wait, I didn't agree to this!

Mohinder: Noah, Myself, and the rest of the group had to split up to find Molly, Micah, and the rest of the lost children.

Peter (w/ Horned Rimmed Glasses): Claire Bear! I forbid you to go in the forest and get hurt!

Peter (w/ Cheerleader Outfit and Blonde Wig): BUT DAD!

Peter (HRG): Don't make me ground you, young lady!

Peter (Cheerleader): _OMG! I so totally hate you! _

Claire (watching the episode, pissed): _I so totally don't sound like that!_

Peter (Labcoat): Let's draw straws, since I'm a brilliant scientist and the smartest person in the history of forever…..oh gee I wonder who wrote this recap?

Mohinder: Later, it turned out that The Haitian, Claire, Niki, and Matt went into the woods. But only to find an unexpected guest.

Peter (Stripper Uniform): Who is that?

Niki: _I WASN'T WEARING THAT!_

Peter (Cop Uniform): It's me, Matt Parkman…….or at least…..my alternate self!

Peter (Cop Stripper Uniform): Let's run!

Peter (Cop): Yes!

Peter (Doctor Stripper Uniform): Let's do it right now!

Peter (Cop): I'm running!

Peter (Firefighter Stripper Uniform): I'm running faster!

Niki: _GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!_

Mohinder: And Sylar, after being frozen, thawed, and fully rested; found out some interesting information of his own.

Peter (with 7 inch eyebrows): MWA! HA! I'm a VILLIAN!....._and this brow will be your doom!_

Sylar: _My eyebrows aren't that big, you stupid fool!_

Mohinder: And Hiro, who is working for Daniel Ryan against his will, also got some crucial information.

Peter (Glasses): _YATTA!_

Peter (with 14 inch eyebrows): Hiro, I must tell you the truth about everything..…whoa…whoooaaa…..(Loses his balance and falls over)

Sylar: _I'LL KILL YOU!!!! _(Runs out the door)

Mohinder: And Nathan, being trapped in Alt-World. Is now forced to work with Daniel Ryan….

Peter (with a _Peter is the best brother in the universe t-shirt)_: You won't get away with this! This looks like a job for my awesome cool brother, Peter Petrelli!

Nathan: Whatever……

Mohinder: And that's what happened….even though it explained absolutely nothing at all!

Peter: _And knowing is half the battle…_

Mohinder: _Heroes continues…NOW!_

_Nathan Petrelli  
Alt-World  
It's Alternatively Delicious!_

Daniel: So….Mr. Petrelli……

Nathan: Just call me Nathan……_Mr. Petrelli is my father's name_….

Daniel: Uh….oookay, whatever…….I want you to hunt out these two individuals.

Nathan holds up a picture of Hiro and Ando.

Nathan: Why?

Daniel: They are traitors….and you will do this for me…..don't worry….you'll have help.

Nathan turns around to see _Alt-Noah_ enter the room.

Nathan: You have got to be kidding me….

Daniel: I trust you won't have any objections….

Nathan: I don't know who you are…or whatever the hell this crazy place is. I'm out of here!

Nathan takes off running and bolts down the hallway. He stops be Angela's (Real One) cell.

Nathan: Mom! Are you okay?

Angela: Nathan! What is going on?! I'm supposed to be getting married…

Nathan: We don't have time for that. We have to get out of here! Damn lock won't open.

Nathan's view of Angela in her cell is also viewed through Alt-Noah's eyes.

Daniel: I assume you found him.

Alt-Noah: But of course……I'll track him down.

Alt-Noah walks out the door, grabbing his sniper rifle on the way.

_Claire and The Haitian  
In The Woods  
Hopefully nowhere near the Ewok village, AHH! One of those little bastards just bit me!!!_

Claire and Haitian remain in the tent while Matt and Niki are busy getting slaughtered in the woods.

Matt: No we're not!

The two of them are playing UNO!

Claire: Draw Four.

Haitian: Hmph……

The Haitian draws four cards, one of them saying:

_CHAPTER 20: YOU WILL BE SAVED_

Haitian: Okay….I had to draw four so it's your turn again….which seems kinda odd….

Claire: Draw Four.

Haitian: Hmph!

Claire: Draw Four….

Haitian: GRR!

Claire: Draw Four….

Haitian: This game makes no sense! Do you just make up the rules as you go along?

Claire: No. UNO has been around for years!....

Haitian: But where do you get the cards then?

Claire: Uh….the store? Look….these look kinda professional….I can't just make these cards do what I want….

Haitian: Yeah……unless…..

Claire: I don't have the ability to cheat at UNO….

The Haitian stares at her.

Claire: HEY! Stop blocking abilities!...._If I get attacked by a rabid squirrel and don't heal my dad will be uber pissed!_

Haitian: Fine….You win this one……

Claire: Ugh…..

Matt and Niki dive into the tent.

Matt: We need to go!

Claire: Didn't you just die in the woods?

Matt: No, why do people keep thinking that?

Niki: There's someone who looks like Matt trying to kill us and moron over here can't control him, so we need to run.

Haitian: I might be able to stop him.

He gets up.

Claire: Wait!....We're not finished with our game.

Haitian: There are more important things than your silly card game….

He leaves….then sticks his head back in.

Haitian: Which you cheat at…..

Claire: _I WASN'T CHEATING!!_

_Hiro And Ando  
Jumpy Beans Coffee Shop  
Pour one scalding cup in your lap get one free!_

Ando: So, the Alternate version of Angela Petrelli is the only link we have to get back into the Alt-World.

Hiro: Yes, then we can stop Daniel Ryan, and save the world! Hooray!

Ando: I think we're in way over our heads here.

Hiro: Nonsense….what could go wrong?

Ando: Don't say that!

Hiro: Relax….

Hiro: Excuse me sir, can you pass the cream?

The man lowers his magazine, revealing himself to be _Alt-Peter_.

Hiro: Peter Petrelli?

Alt-Peter: It has come to my attention that you've been talking to Gabriel Gray.

Hiro: Uh…..

Meanwhile, _The Real Peter Petrelli enters the coffee shop_.

Peter: Hiro! I'm so glad I found you, I need to find Sylar! He's no longer frozen! _I should've used more ice_…..

Hiro and Ando look at each other…

Peter (noticing his Alternate): WHAT THE!?

Hiro: Oh boy…….

---It's Coming………It's Coming………It's Here……..The Opening Credits!......._Heroes!---_

_Previously on Mrs. Bennett and Mr. Muggles Save The Universe!_

Sandra: LYLE! We need eggs!

Lyle: Whatever!

Lyle goes to the store and gets kidnapped by Sandra Culinary Rival, Celeste.

Celeste: Tee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee……

Lyle: Well, my storyline has taken a turn for the better at least.

Sandra: We'll save you son!

Sandra and Mr. Muggles arrive on the scene….then get trapped….

Sandra: Hmm….this is probably why Noah handles these sorts of things…

Celeste: Well, Sandra dear….I'm off to the contest to win!

Sandra: Good for you, can we go now?

Celeste: No. You will remain here so I can come back and rub my victory in your face.

Sandra: I'll go to the contest, I don't have to participate. You can rub your victory in my face there.

Celeste: Nevermind, I'll be back!

Celeste makes her leave.

Sandra: Oh man….Lyle, honey, are you okay?

Lyle: I've been in worse situations….

Sandra: What should we do?

Lyle: Well, we could….

Sandra: Hold on, Lyle. I'll get to you….

Mr. Muggles: WOOF!

Sandra: Interesting…..we shall call that _Plan A_.

Lyle: Okay, maybe I haven't been in worse situations…

Back in Alt-World….

Nathan: It's no use, it's locked up….

Angela: Well, you should probably go back to your cell so you won't raise suspicion…

Nathan: Yeah….about that…….

The gate automatically unlocks.

Nathan: Huh?

Angela: What did you do?

Nathan: I don't know….come on.

He grabs Angela's hand and they take off down the hall. Alt-Noah circles around the corner, he looks through his sniper scope watching Angela and Nathan run. He smiles and lowers his rifle.

Alt-Noah: And the hunt is on..……(He takes off after them)

Daniel: OH COME ON! He had a clear shot!

_Mohinder, Elle, and Noah  
The Crazy Cat Lady's Creepy Cabin  
ME-OW!_

Noah wakes up, no longer in a cage….as does Elle…..

Noah: What happened..?.....Weren't we just…..

Mohinder: No…..we have a job to do…..

Elle: AURGH! CRAP!

Noah: Job?! What are you talking about?

Mohinder: The old lady knows where the children are…

Noah: Oh, good…..

Mohinder: But….we have to go on a scavenger hunt…..

Elle: A…..

Noah: Oh give…..

Elle: Scavenger…..

Noah: …me a…..

Elle: Hunt?

Noah: ….break….We are not….

Elle: I…..

Noah: ….going on…..

Elle: ….love….

Noah: ….some stupid…..

Elle: _SCAVENGER HUNT!!!!!! _(Noah falls over)

Noah: AHH!

Elle: FUN! FUN! FUN! Let's do it! Come on!

Noah: -Groan-

Back in the coffee shop…

Hiro: Two Peters? This is crazy….

Peter: Very awkward…

Ando: It's his alternate….

Peter: Oh……right……

Alt-Peter: I know you've been talking to Gabriel…..and don't worry….I can get you back into the alternate world….Angela isn't the only one….

Hiro: But how are we supposed to stop the evil man?

Peter (approaching the counter): I'll take a Tall Mocha-Chino….

Clerk: Sir, we don't have that drink….

Peter: Oh…..better go ahead and make 2 of them then….

Clerk: What?

Alt-Peter: I can't tell you that…..you have to go back there and see for yourself.

Hiro: Oh man…..

Ando: I can't help what exactly would happen come November 11th….

Hiro: Are you suggesting I go forward in time….

Ando: You can _do_ that, can't you?

Hiro: Well, almost every time I do it usually ends in a negative consequence and just piles on more trouble for us…..but I guess doing it again couldn't hurt….

Ando: Besides..._it couldn't be worse than that one time you got your brain scrambled and had the mind of a 10 year old…_

-FLASHBACK-

Hiro is riding his tricycle; he stops in front of his neighbor's house.

Hiro: _OH MR. WILSON!!_

George: Oh, that Hiro Nakamura _is a menace!_

Martha: Oh George, go easy on the boy…

Hiro: Mr. Wilson! I wanted to show you my new toy!

Hiro pulls out his slingshot and fires at Mr. Wilson's House…._which goes up in a huge mushroom cloud explosion! KABOOOOOM!_

Hiro: Uh oh….

-END-

Hiro: Good point…..Here we go….

Hiro and Ando go and do their time thing……

Alt-Peter walks up to The Real Peter…

Peter: My own double……a twin…..it feels just like _Days Of Our Lives_…..

Alt-Peter: I'm running out of time…..when the time is right….you can get them to their destination…..

Peter: What are you talking about?

Alt-Peter: I have access to the other world….and now so do you….

Peter: Uh….

Alt-Peter: I better go……

Alt-Peter walks out the door. Real Peter takes a drink of coffee.

Old Lady: _Hey! That's my coffee!_

Peter: …_and it tastes delicious!_

Back in the woods, The Haitian peers around a tree and sees Alt-Matt making his way toward them. Blowing up trees in his path.

Niki: What the hell kinda power is that?!

Matt: Whatever it is, it's not very nature friendly….if _Smokey The Bear were here he'd be uber pissed!_....

Haitian: It appears he is immune to my power….

Matt: _Immune!?_......_IMMUNE!?_.....That means you can't use your power against him….

Haitian: ….

Claire: ….

Niki: …..just ignore him.

Haitian: We should just run for now……

Claire: Maybe I can stop him…..

Haitian: Absolutely not! We have to move….or your dad will dock my pay for today….

Claire: No….I can do this…

Matt: And Claire, you don't know what will happen if he gets to you….he might blow you up into tiny Claire Bits……hmm….that sounds like a good name for a cereal……'_Sugar Frosted Bennett Bites'_…...._Save The Cheerleader_…_Lower your cholesterol!_

Niki: Stop talking….

Claire: This is something I need to try……it's time I try to be a _Hero_.

Matt: Well, _since it is the name of the show and all_….

Niki: _Stop breaking the fourth wall!_

Claire approaches Alt-Matt, who slyly laughs to himself.

Alt-Matt: This should be interesting.

Claire: You won't scare us away….we're here for a reason.

Alt-Matt (grabbing her arm): Is that so….

Claire's skin starts to ripple…

Claire: AAARRRGHHHH!!!!

There is a loud explosion, and Alt-Matt is sent flying back. Claire falls to her knees, noticing that her shirt and jeans are torn. The flesh on her arm is completely removed, exposing nothing but muscle and tissue….the skin starts to slowly regenerate on her arm.

Matt: ICKY!

Niki: That was kinda cool….but since we just stood here like morons it was kinda pointless….

Molly: Niki?....Matt?......

Matt: Molly?! What the?

Niki: Molly, where's Micah?

Molly: He's with the others, follow me…

Claire, her clothes stained with blood, walks up to the Haitian.

Haitian: And….why did you do that?

Claire: To buy time..?

Haitian: ….

Claire: Okay, I just wanted a little action….give me a break, I've been stuck with Peter and Nathan for the longest time….

Haitian: And how am I going to explain this to Bennett?

Claire: Uh……

Meanwhile…um….in the same place…..a few feet away..…..Niki and Matt are following Molly to an abandoned house.

Matt: Molly, wait a second, hold up…..

Molly: The rest of us are in here….

Matt: You know, I can't help but wonder how she escaped so easily…..

They follow Molly into the cabin, as Micah runs past them into the woods…._REWIND_…..Micah runs backwards into the house.

_A few minutes earlier_….

Micah and Molly are in cages (which seems to be happening to a lot of people lately). They are held hostage by _Alt-Elle_….

Micah: What are you going to do with us?

Alt-Elle: Well, I've received information that both of you children are special…..

Molly: What did you do with the others?

Alt-Elle: They're not so special….

Molly: That's kinda rude…

Alt-Elle: I'm holding you here because we need you….

Micah: _Again?!_

Molly: Isn't there anything better we can do besides being kidnapped?

Alt-Elle: Don't worry, if someone is coming to save you _my associate will take care of them_….

Micah: Uh….

Micah looks over and spots a remote control car….

Micah: I have an idea…..

Micah uses his ability and makes the remote car drive forward, speeding under Alt-Elle's foot, she falls to the ground. The key to the cage falls out of her pocket and on to the car…

Molly: Lucky shot….

The car drives over to Micah's cage and he let's himself out. He hops over to Molly's cage and sticks in the key as Alt-Elle tackles him, breaking the key off in the holder. Micah scrambles forward and grabs a book, slinging it around against Alt-Elle's face.

Alt-Elle: ARGH!

Molly: Micah, run! Niki and Matt aren't that far away from here!

Micah: Okay, I'll be back!

Micah runs out of the house.

Alt-Elle: Don't worry, I'll get him….

Alt-Elle shape-shifts into Molly's form, she heads out of the building.

Molly: I can see why Niki tries to not get involved with these things….

Alt-Elle (as Molly) runs and meets up with Niki and Matt, they run back through the woods and into the house as Micah runs past them. Inside, Niki and Matt see Molly in a cage…

Matt: Molly?

Niki: Why are you in there? Weren't….?

The door slams behind them. Niki and Matt spin around to see the Alternatives of Elle and Angela standing there.

Alt-Elle: Don't move…..

Alt-Angela uses her power to make everyone inside disappear. Micah stops in mid-run and turns back around, he thinks it's nothing and continues on.

_Fast Forward Several Years In The Future…_

_Hiro and Ando  
November 11__th__, 2011__th__  
11:14:23am_

Hiro and Ando show up in the middle of Times Square….the place is deserted….

Ando: Uh oh….did someone release _The Shanti Virus _again?

Hiro: Not sure…..

A siren starts to blare throughout the city.

Hiro: That can't be good….

They start to hear the roar of people running through the streets screaming….

Hiro: Oh boy, another apocalyptic future to prevent! Boy the good times never end with us….

Ando: I can hardly contain myself…..

Buildings began to crumble as windows shatter one by one. Hiro notices a drop of blood landing on his cheek. He looks up at the sky, as red spreads across the horizon…

Hiro: The sky…._is bleeding_….?

Ando: Now I know how Chicken Little feels!

Hiro: ….._What in the name of Ryan Seacrest is going on around here?!_

Ando: I'm thinking…..that…..

Ando points as the group of people disperse to reveal Daniel Ryan walking proudly through the streets, followed by some guards. He spreads his arms and looks at the sky while the blood rains down upon him…

Daniel: My dream……is my reality……the world is my……reality…..

Hiro: _Pretentious little turd, isn't he?_

Ando: We need to go….

Hiro: I'm not done yet…..

Ando points out upper part of a sky scraper which is collapsing toward them.

Hiro: Holy sh….

Ando: ANY TIME NOW!!!

Hiro clenches his face and zaps out of there with Ando just in time for the building to collide with the ground.

Meanwhile, in The Bennett family Hostage situation…..Sandra and Lyle are in _cages_.

Sandra: Lyle, this is awful! Just awful…….

Lyle: I'm not surprised…..

Sandra: Who will finish dinner!?....._DINNER!!!?_

Lyle: Well just as long as our priorities are straight…..

Sandra: We need to get out of here, Lyle…….try to break your cage.

Lyle: What?

Sandra: Tip your cage over and break it….then let me out.

Lyle: Uh…..it's not made of glass…..so…..I'm thinking that's not going to work.

Sandra: You have to believe!

Lyle: Ugh….

Lyle tries to rock his cage, it tips over to another side.

Lyle: Yeah…..about that….

Sandra: Better go with Plan B…..

Lyle: …and that is?

Sandra: ……give me a minute…..

Lyle: Ugh…..

Mohinder and Company are at a grocery store……

Mohinder: We did it! We have found the first item….

Noah: Who builds a grocery store in the middle of the woods?

Mohinder: Okay, we need to find the box of _Fortunate Charms Cereal_……with the free toy inside.

Elle: I like the marshmallows!

Mohinder: There are so many boxes though….

Noah: Don't all of them have a toy?

Mohinder: Nope! Just one of them.

Noah: Of course…..

Mohinder: Okay…..Let's get to rippin!

Noah: I should've gone into the woods…..At least I'd be better off…..

Meanwhile in Alt-World…..

Niki and Matt wake up to find themselves as new prisoners in Alt-World…..

Guard: Oh good, you two are awake….

Matt: Where are we?....Where's Molly?

Guard: Don't worry about her…..come with me and I'll show you to your…._cages_.

Niki: Cages?!

Matt: Oh woe is us!.....

Niki shoots Matt a look.

Matt: What…..well we are……in so much woe!....

Niki: Can our cages be really far apart?

Elsewhere on another floor…..in the same building….Nathan and Angela have come to a dead end.

Alt-Noah: You can stop running….

Angela: I demand you send us back! I have to get married!

Alt-Noah: Oh…..to '_King Richard'_ right…?

Angela: Uh…

Alt-Noah: I think you mean _Markus Addelburg_? A scientist….he was no king at all…

Nathan: I KNEW IT!!!!

Angela: Well, Nathan, why don't you just gloat about it….

Nathan: …………_I will_……..I KNEW IT!!......HA!

Alt-Noah: But don't worry about him……I sealed his fate earlier…..

Angela: You killed The King?!

Alt-Noah: He wasn't a King….I just said that….

Angela: That deserves a beheading! I think…..

Alt-Noah: Enough!....We have orders Nathan…..you will join me and together we'll kill Hiro Nakamura……or I kill her…..

Angela: Nathan! Don't do it! Hiro is the only one who can save us. Who have to make sure he is safe…..regardless of the sacrifice….if that's me.

Nathan: Well…..

Angela: _WELL!?_...._You were actually thinking about it!_.....You are the worst son ever!

Nathan: I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT IT!

Angela: How could you!...._I'm giving Peter all your Christmas presents this year_….

Nathan (muttering): He usually gets better stuff anyway….

Angela: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Nathan: Nothing!

Angela: Hmph!

Alt-Noah: Are you two done?!

Nathan: Yes……I will come with you……I will help you……_Kill Hiro Nakamura_…..

Angela: Nathan…..

Alt-Noah: Come with me…..Guard! Take Mrs. Petrelli back to her cage…..

Angela: Seriously, what is with all the cages….can't you people invest in some real cells….

Meanwhile, back in the woods, Claire and The Haitian were still bickering…

Claire: They sure have been gone for a while….

Haitian: They'll be fine….we should head back….

The Haitian turns around and gets clobbered over the head by Alt-Matt.

Claire: ACK!

Alt-Matt: That's a pretty neat trick…..it won't save you this time……

He tackles Claire, pinning her down with his good hand; he raises his other hand near her face…..

Claire: Urgh…..

Micah arrives near them and watches the scene, noticing the Haitian unconscious and Claire in peril.

Micah: I have to help her……I know….

He sneaks through the trees and up to the Haitian's body; he grabs the cell phone out of his belt holder.

Micah: Hope this works…..

Micah uses the phone to send a message to Alt-Matt's phone……His hand is inches away from Claire's face when he stops, reaching for his phone. The message reads…

_From Your Boss:_

_Don't kill her or you're fired!_

Alt-Matt: What?! That doesn't make any sense…

Micah (shocked): Matt?!

Alt-Matt shoots him a look, distracted. Claire uses this opportunity and kicks him in the face, scrambling to her feet. Fortunately, The Haitian wakes up at this point. Claire runs forward and grabs Micah's arm…

Claire: Come on!

The three of them run off, followed by Alt-Matt.

Alt-Matt: Wait…..Ryan can't send me text messages from the other world….._Now I'm pissed_!

Hiro and Ando reappear back in present day at the coffee shop to find both Peters are gone.

Hiro: Well, that's just great!

However, Nathan walks in….

Hiro: _FLYING MAN!!!_

Customer: Way too suspicious….

Nathan: Hiro, I need to talk to you….I need to tell you something very important…trade me places…

Nathan moves around to make Hiro's back face against the front of the store's window. Outside, Alt-Noah readies his rifle.

Hiro: What is going on? We need to find Peter Petrelli!

Nathan: You need to follow my instructions _very carefully_…..

Hiro: O…okay…..

A red beam of light shines through the window and slowly makes its way to the back of Hiro's head. Alt-Noah pulls the trigger……

Meanwhile……back in Sandra's cell.

Sandra: Come on…..Come on little fella….you can make it!....

Lyle: Mom…..what are you doing?

Sandra: Almost……

Across the floor is a rat…..

Lyle: _What are you making Mr. Muggles do now?_

Sandra: _MR. MUGGLES IS NOT A RAT!!!! _

Lyle: YIKES!

Across the floor is a rat….._dragging a cell phone across the ground_.

Lyle: You must be joking…..

Sandra: Almost……

Lyle: That must be one smart rat…..where did he get that phone anyway?

Sandra: GOT IT!....We're saved!

She opens the phone and dials Noah's number….

At the Grocery Store in the middle of the forest….

Noah (answering): Hello?

Sandra: Noah! It's your wife! Lyle got us kidnapped!

Lyle: WHAT?!

Noah: What….what happened, where are you?

Sandra: It's a long story! We're at a Warehouse at the corner of S.W 5th street! Hurry, Noah…._were in cages!_

Noah: Yeah, that seems to be happening a lot lately. We'll get there as fast as we can!

Noah hangs up…

Mohinder: Uh….Noah, we can't leave until we find all the items on the list….

Noah: What's next?

Elle: It appears to be….._The Forbidden Deodorant._ Ooh….sounds mysterious….

Noah: What?! Let me see that list…….(he swipes it)……._THIS IS A SHOPPING LIST!!!_

Mohinder: That would explain why all the items are at this mysterious grocery store.

Elle: _What a rip-off!_

Noah: Come on, we're getting the hell out of here!

Mohinder: We can't! The cat lady is watching our every move!

Noah: _To hell with the cat lady!_

Elle: Noah…..be careful about what you say regarding the cat lady….she is all powerful.

Noah reaches for his gun…which isn't there.

Noah: Oh yeah, that would make sense for her to take that, huh?

Cat Lady: And I'm afraid you all are out of time!

Elle: We had a time limit?! That totally blows!

Noah: I don't have time for this! Out of the way…..you don't want to make me angry.

Cat Lady: Bring it!

Noah: You've left me no choice…..

Noah takes off his horned rimmed glasses and _shoots a laser beam at the woman, making her blow up into tiny bits_.

Mohinder: Uh…..

Elle: Hello! Wake up, you can't do that!

Noah: But it would be cool if I did……

Cat Lady: HA! HA! Prepare to die! Skin them alive my pretties!

The cats do nothing!

Cat Lady: GO! What the hell are you waiting for…..?

Mohinder: She has no control of her cats!

Noah: What's going to happen now?

Elle: _I just swallowed my gum!_.....Now it's going to take 7 years to digest…._DAMMIT!_

Kicking open the door is the Haitian, followed by Claire and Micah.

Noah: Claire Bear! You're all right!

Elle: _The Haitian Sensation That Rocked The Nation_…..You're all right too!

Haitian: _Don't call me that_….

Cat Lady: What's going on here?!

Elle: I'm afraid this story is going to have…._a shocking ending_!

Elle zaps the old lady, sending her to the ground.

Noah: _Why the hell didn't you do that before!_

Elle: I was powerless; because I have a weakness to cats……I'm allergic to them.

Noah: You're allergic to cats?

Elle: Yes……Cats….._and poppy seeds_.

Noah: Whatever!

Micah: They released the other children but….(looks at Elle)….._That woman has Molly held hostage!_.......Wait…..what are you doing here….

Everyone looks at Elle.

Noah: You're holding Molly hostage?

Elle: Uh DUH! It's obviously my alternate!...._Don't you people pay attention to the plot around here!?_

Noah: Okay. Elle, you come with me….we need to go rescue my family again.

Elle: Great!

Noah: Haitian, go check on Niki and Matt and see if they found Molly then get everyone to a safe place.

The Haitian nods.

Noah: All right, let's go!

Nobody moves……

Noah: Now would be great………

We pan around to the back of Noah's head, and come around to the scene of Alt-Noah aiming his rifle at Hiro in the coffee shop, having the sight set to the back of his head. He readies his finger over the trigger and pulls it as inside Nathan grabs the side of Hiro's head and shoves him out of the way. The large window of the coffee shop shatters as Hiro falls to the ground, stopping time. He slowly gets back up; shards of window pieces are frozen in mid air. Ando is frozen in place with a shocked expression; a woman is halfway out of her chair with a stream of coffee halfway spilt out of her cup. Hiro carefully walks through the glass pieces up to Nathan, his head is cocked to the side a little and the rifle bullet barely pressing up against his upper lip. Hiro grabs the bullet and flicks it off to the side.

Hiro: There….that's better…..

He grabs the shoulders of both Nathan and Ando and teleports out of there as time resumes.

Alt-Noah (looking closely): DAMN!.......

Elsewhere, Sylar is running through a field trying to look for Alt-Elle still…..

Sylar: Damn….lost her……

Up ahead he spots _his alternative self._

Sylar: What have we here….?

Gabriel: Hello friend…..

Sylar: _Friend?!_.....He looks like me….but he's nice…..how…._repugnant! _

Gabriel: So you are my evil self……

Sylar: You ain't seen nothing yet….

Gabriel: I know what you're up to….and I will stop you at all costs…..

Gabriel whips out his book…Sylar places his hand on it, covering it with ice…..

Sylar: Yes……

Gabriel: Ugh……

Gabriel: You're going to regret this….

Sylar: Yes…..the power…..I feel the power…….

Peter and Alt-Peter arrive on the scene….

Peter: It's Sylar!

Alt-Peter: Shh! Everything is going to plan…..

Peter: Is that Sylar's alternate?

Alt-Peter: Yes…..wait…..

Ice starts to crawl up Alt-Sylar's (Gabriel) arm.

Sylar: If you are a copy of me….I can only imagine what power you behold……

Gabriel: You will be stopped…..

Sylar: On the contrary….._I will be saved_……..in fact…..I'm going to accomplish what Hiro or Peter or any of those other morons never could…._kill Gabriel Gray_…….

Gabriel goes down……Sylar relishes in newfound power…..

Alt-Peter: Okay, it's our turn.

Peter: What are you doing?

Alt-Peter: This is your only chance….I'm going to go down there and distract him, and with your new power….send him to the other world.

Peter: Why can't you send him?

Alt-Peter: Because I….won't be around to do so…..

Peter: _You're sacrificing yourself?!_....You can't do that!....._You're far too handsome to be killed off!_

Alt-Peter: I can't keep living like this…..with this curse……because I will turn out like Sylar someday.

Peter: But!

Alt-Peter: It is my time…..take advantage while he's vulnerable….and banish him…..

Peter: BUT!

Alt-Peter makes his way down there.

Sylar: Power! Delicious Power!.......Peter?!

Alt-Peter: Yes……

Sylar: Stay back!....For now I have the power to….._write things down and make it come to fruition_…….hmm….that sounds cool and silly all at the same time!

Alt-Peter: We need to end this….

Sylar uses his Astral Projection to materialize himself behind Alt-Peter, who head-locks him…..

Sylar: I have become more powerful…..the little powers I have in my possession have evolved.

Alt-Peter: Do what you must….

Real Peter watches in horror as Sylar slays Alt-Peter…..Peter moves in.

Sylar: Man, I killed my clone _AND _Peter Petrelli……this is definitely a dear diary moment…..

He turns around to see The Real Peter….

Sylar: GASP!

Peter puts his hand on Sylar's face and makes him vanish…..

Peter: Hmm….that was easy…….I wish I would've had that power years ago

Noah and Elle are at the warehouse…

Noah: Hmm…..I just got off the phone with the Haitian….Niki, Matt, and Molly are nowhere to be found.

Elle: That stinks.

Noah: Well, they're on their way to the safe house now……

Elle: Here's the entrance…

Noah: This is it.

Noah kicks open the door and runs to Sandra and Lyle's cages. He lets them free.

Sandra: Oh Noah, I was so scared……_I still have a roast in the oven_!

Noah: It's nice that you have your priorities straight.

Celeste: What in the name of Duncan Hines is going on here?!

Sandra: It's the crazy woman!

Elle: We've had enough of them today.

Elle conjures two orbs of lightning in her hands and flings them at Celeste.

Celeste: ACKK! (ZAAAP!)

Later, Peter makes it back to his apartment to find Nathan, Hiro and Ando there.

Peter: Nathan! You're alive!

Nathan: Surprisingly.

Hiro: We know everything about the other world….

Peter: So do I……and we're going back….

Nathan: …..

Hiro: ……

Ando: ……

Hiro: …..

Nathan: …..

Peter: …..

Nathan: ….uh….

Hiro: ……

Ando: ……

Nathan: ….Okay, enough dramatic cutaways…..

Hiro: ….!!!!

Ando: …!!!!

Nathan: We get it……_change the damn scene already!_....

Meanwhile……_AT THE SAME EXACT LOCATION!_

Hiro: !!!!

Ando: !!!!!

Peter: !!!!!

Nathan: GRR!!!!

Back in Alt-World…..

Niki and Matt are still locked up…..

Niki: This blows…..

Inside walk in the Alternates of Matt and Mohinder.

Niki: No….this blows much more.

Matt: Hey (pointing to Alt-Matt) you can blow stuff up….what can Mohinder do……._tell even more boring monologues?!_ HA!......Oh snap…..1 point for Parkman……slap me some skin sister!

He raises a hand to high-five Niki….

Niki: ……No.

Matt: Aw…..

Alt-Matt: We have other things to attend to……your new watch will be here shortly.

They walk out…..

Matt: You know it makes me wonder…..we have yet to meet your alternate…..maybe she's nice.

Niki: HEY!......I'm sure my alternate is just as cool as I am……

Matt: Uh……

Niki: And if she is evil….I hope she brings nothing but pain on you….that would be nice….

Matt: I have a feeling she has already….

Niki looks over to see that their new guard is none other than _Jessica_.

Jessica: Hi there…..we're you expecting someone else?

Niki: Oh so….

Matt: ….not good……

_To Be Continued_…


	21. Embrace The Alternative

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 21: Embrace The Alternative

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Peter: _Previously On The Golden Girls…_

Nathan: WHAT!?

Peter: Oh whoops….I mean _Heroes_……

-Recap-

Hiro and Ando visit a coffee shop where they run into Peter and Alt-Peter. The two of them (Hiro and Ando) go into the future to look into the repercussions of what happens if Daniel Ryan (comatose young man with the ability to create worlds in his dreams) just to see what happens when he awakes. Meanwhile, the two Peters come across Sylar and Alt-Sylar. Sylar kills his alternate which Alt-Peter uses the opportunity to free himself from his ability (which is a curse to him) and cause enough distraction for Peter to send Sylar to a nice remote place in Alt-World. Meanwhile, after a run-in with Alt-Matt, Matt and Niki follow Molly (who is actually Alt-Elle, a shape shifter) back to the holding place where the children (just Micah and Molly, the other children weren't that important I guess). Micah escapes and joins up with The Haitian and Claire while Alt-Angela (a person who can teleport between the worlds) makes everyone go poof (i.e. teleport). Elsewhere, Mohinder and company where held hostage by a crazy cat lady who would let them free upon completing a scavenger hunt, which was just a shopping trip. Also, Hiro comes back in time and teleports Nathan out of the line of peril just to meet up with Peter. Now, Matt and Niki are stuck in alt-world as their newest victims; Sylar is stranded; Mohinder and company are back at a safe house to form a new plan of action; and Hiro, Ando, Nathan, and Peter prepare for a final trip into the alternative world….

Noah wakes up; he has no idea where he is….he looks around to find himself in the land of _Care-A-Lot_.

Noah: What the hell?!

He is approached by several magical animals.

Noah: What is this?!

Funshine Bear: Noah Bennett, we have to speak with you….for we are _The Care Bears_.

Noah: The what?

Funshine Bear: It has come to our attention that you have been referring to your daughter as _Claire-Bear_…..that sounds dangerously close to what we are called….and frankly….it infringes on our copyright.

Noah: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard…..You guys aren't even real.

The Care Bears gasp.

Cheer Bear: Is that true?!

Funshine Bear: Of course not! He's just an unbeliever!

Noah: I don't care who you are, get me the hell out of here….

Love-A-Lot Bear: He just swore!.....In the land of Care-A-Lot…..ugghh…(Passes out)

Funshine Bear: Get him!

Noah: Uh oh…..(Draws his gun)……Stay back!.....Don't make me use this…..

The gun accidentally fires…..white fluffy stuff floats around everywhere…..

Noah: Hmm…..that's odd…..

Love-A-Lot Bear: He just committed murder……In the land of Care-A-Lot!....uggghh….(Passes out again)

Noah: I don't have time for this…..I know!

Noah clicks his heels together.

Noah: There's no place like home……There's no place like home……There's no….

The Care Bears jump on Noah, and begin beating the crap out of him.

Noah: AHHHHHHH!

Noah wakes up on the couch in the safe house…..oh….by the way….

_Mohinder and Company  
The Safe House_

_555 Petersen Ave…AHH! You weren't supposed to know that! Forget it! Oh man…_

Noah wakes up on the couch and walks over to Elle who is eating some Toaster Strudels, which the frosting on them is written in the words:

_CHAPTER 21: EMBRACE THE ALTERNATIVE_

Noah: _You fit all that on 1 toaster strudel? _I'm impressed……

Elle: I like to get creative with my breakfast.

Noah: Works for me. (He grabs one and eats it)

Elle: No! Those were the only ones that didn't get burnt! _Damn you!!_

Mohinder: Matt, Niki, and Molly are all three missing……how did this happen?

Micah: I don't know, I managed to escape and get help……

Mohinder: If they managed to disappear on the spot, they're most likely in the alternative world.

There is a knock on the door, Micah answers it.

Micah: Molly! Where have you been?

Molly: I….I don't remember…..the last thing I recall is being imprisoned back at the camp….then somehow I ended up here….

Mohinder: It's a good thing you turned up here. We could use your ability to find the others….

Molly: That's the thing….._I don't have my powers anymore_…..

Mohinder: Oh bugger…..

_Sylar  
Alt-World  
On an island somewhere…(with Gilligan, and the Skipper too! And Ginger! And the rest!_........

Professor: HEY! What about us!?

Mary Ann: Yeah, we're important too!

The Howells: WE'RE RICH! SAVE US!

Sylar: SHUT UP, you losers! I'm trying to think……..

Sylar looks at the dismal world around him. The sky is a blood red, death lingers in the air…lurking with an ominous hint of _doom and despair with a sprinkle of danger peeking around the corner as a…_

Sylar: Okay, I get it….._I'm screwed_!

There's not a soul in sight….well…_except for the cast of Gilligan's Island!_

Sylar: GEEZ! I can't catch a break!

Gilligan: Skipper! I just made a radio out of coconuts! What an amazing _ability_!

Cut to Sylar and _the creepy ticking theme_…._tick…tick…tick…tick…_

Sylar: Oh please, I wouldn't waste my time! That ability blows!

_Matt and Niki  
Across the Alt-Ocean, in an Alt-Sky Scraper, in Alt-Cages  
Surely about to meet their Alt-Doom!_

Matt: I wish I knew where we were…

Niki: Shut up!

Jessica: -Ahem-

Matt: OH CRAP! I forgot she was here….

Niki: I can't….I can't believe this…..

Matt: Though if you think about it….._Jessica being your alternative kinda makes sense_…

Niki: _NO IT DOESN'T!_

Jessica: Get comfortable….you won't be going anywhere. In fact, once Danny takes over the world…..everything will be ours.

Matt: What is with you villains and taking over the world…it's so cliché. Start small……_buy a puppy_.

Niki: God, you're stupid….

_Peter, Nathan, Hiro, and Ando  
Peter's Apartment  
UGH! What's that smell…must…get…Febreeze…no…time…ooouuughh…(passes out)_.

Peter: Okay team….this is it.

Nathan: Pete, wait….are you sure just barging into the other world is such a good idea….

Peter: We must Nathan…._or this season will never end!_

Nathan slaps his forehead.

Hiro: It's the only way we can stop Daniel Ryan.

Nathan: Yes….however….don't forget that we don't have powers once we're in there.

Peter: Don't worry….leave everything to me….

Nathan: ….ha….let me guess….you're going to go up to him and ask him to please stop trying to do evil things…..right?

Peter: …..okay, plan B.

Nathan: Oh nevermind…let's just do it.

Peter: Okay……everyone hold hands.

Nathan: No.

Peter (grabbing his hand): AND TELEPORTATION POWER!

The four of them disappear…….Cut to the window, outside one by one Peter, Nathan, Hiro and Ando fall out of the sky and into the dumpster.

Peter: Okay…..I'm going to take a shower because I stink….let's try it again in 10 minutes? Aight?

Nathan: -Groan-…..

---_Give me an H! Give me an E! An R! An O! Another E! and an S! What does that spell?...Heroes!_.....(_Eat your heart out Claire)---_

_Daniel Ryan  
Alt-World  
Super Villain Extraordinaire, or at least that's what his Facebook says he is…beats me…_

Daniel is staring out the fabled window of staring. Alt-Noah enters the room.

Daniel: You have failed.

Alt-Noah: Yes, I'm sorry, master….

Daniel: I don't need your excuses!

Alt-Noah: That…um….was an apology, not an excuse.

Daniel: You let Nathan get away….and now he's no doubt allied with Hiro and Ando. They will surely make their way into the Alt-World.

Alt-Noah: I missed. Nathan pushed Hiro out of the way and then they must have teleported away.

Daniel: You can beg for your life all you want….

Alt-Noah: That wasn't begging….that was an excuse for my actions….

Daniel: ENOUGH! Incompetence will not be tolerated in my presence…

Alt-Noah: It actually wasn't _in your presence_….

Daniel: I'll get somebody else for the job.

Daniel grabs the list and scratches off Alt-Noah's name….eliminating him from existence.

Daniel: Hmph!.......

Back at the safe house.

Daniel: HEY! Don't cut away from me yet! _I didn't get to do my evil laugh!_

Just before we see what Mohinder and company are up too…..Daniel Ryan had to laugh in the most vicious, maniacal manner.

Daniel: _Tee Hee! Tee Hee! _

ANYWAY!!!......Back at the safe house…….

Mohinder: I'm scanning your brain waves and according to my computer, you definitely lost your abilities.

Elle (sitting down at the computer): So, what games do you have on this thing?

Mohinder: You silly woman! Don't mess with that! You'll destroy all my precious research.

Elle: The only game you have on here is _Mine Sweeper!?_ That's the worst game ever!

Mohinder: Go away!

Elle: DAMMIT! I found another mine! _I HATE THIS GAME SO MUCH!_

Elle accidentally shocks the computer, Molly starts to convulse.

Mohinder: AHH! Molly!

Elle: Whoops….

Noah: Smooth move……

Mohinder: Molly!....Are you okay!....Molly, speak to me!

Molly: ….F……F…….Florida…..

Mohinder: I think she's located somebody…..

Elle: Either that or she's been watching too many episodes of _Good Times_.

Noah: It's a relief to know when Parkman isn't here to say something stupid…_you'll be here to pick up the slack._

Elle: Thanks…..wait…._That was an insult!_

Noah: I rest my case…..

Molly: Bayview……Hospital…….he's…..sleeping……(Passes out)

Mohinder: She must be talking about Daniel Ryan!

Noah: Okay, that's a _huge_ long shot.

Mohinder: You must get to Bayview Medical Center in Florida and stop Daniel Ryan!

Noah: WHAT!? How the hell do we know where it is…?

Mohinder: Consult the almighty _Google_….

Noah: Is that your answer to everything?

Mohinder: Why yes…..

Noah: Hmm….okay…….

Back at the apartment….

Peter: Okay, we all grouped up again?

Nathan: Yes.

Hiro: Uh huh!

Ando: Sure.

Peter: Okay…..this is it……We ready?

Nathan: Try not to teleport us outside, you doofus.

Peter: Hey, it's not my fault…._you could have easily flown away before falling into the dumpster!_

Hiro: He's got a point.

Ando: Yeah.

Nathan: Whatever! Let's just go already.

Peter closes his eyes really tight and the four of them disappear. Peter reopens his eyes to find himself in the middle of the crazy rioting panicky streets of Alt-World.

Peter: I did it! I'm so cool…….they should change the name of the show….in fact….

---_As The World Turns…it's The Peter Petrelli Show!!!---_

TONIGHT: Tom Cruise stops by to talk about his new movie: _The Princess and The Pea (_he plays the pea)

Courtney Love stops by to share some holiday recipes she read from Rachel Ray's holiday recipe book!

And musical guest: MILEY CYRUS'….._favorite band_…..LINKIN PARK (YAY!)

Nathan: Nevermind! Send me back! I wanna go home!!!!

Peter: No….it's time…..we end this……

Hiro: Up there!

Before them lies a giant skyscraper. (Alt-World is filled with them!)

Hiro: That's the building where we were held….Ryan must be in there.

In the building, Jessica gets a message through her earpiece.

Jessica: I have to go take care of some business.

Matt: WAIT! Come back….._I'm so lonely._

Niki: Shut up! You dunce…..we can use this chance to escape.

Matt: Ooooohhhhh…..riiiiight……Niki, you're a genius!

Niki: Somebody has to be around here.

Back in the real world, Noah is sitting in the car, waiting on Elle and Mohinder, who are about to be on their way to Bayview Memorial….

Elle: We need snacks!

Mohinder: And Lab Equipment!

Elle: Board Games!

Mohinder: Books!

Elle: Puzzles!

Mohinder: Science!

Elle: Stuffed Animals!

Mohinder: Research!

Elle: Sleeping Bags!

Noah: _WILL YOU TWO HURRY UP!?_ This isn't going to be an all week trip!

Mohinder slams the trunk shut after several tries.

Mohinder: Got it all in there.

Mohinder gets in the passenger seat. Elle hops in the back with her Nintendo DS.

Elle: These _Nintendogs _suck! They never do what I want them to do….

Noah: Okay, we're off.

Elle: _AHHHH! One of them just bit me! That Poodle bastard!_

Noah: Anybody in the mood for some Christmas music?

Mohinder: Sounds lovely!

Elle: _I'm bleeding everywhere! Help!_

Noah pulls out a cd that has Matt Parkman sprawled out on a piano. _Matt Parkman sings the Christmas Classics._ With the only song a 45 minute rendition of _The Macarena._

Noah: UGH! _That's not a Christmas song!_ (Throws it out the window)

Elle: _I'm feeling really woozy_……

Back in Alt-World, Niki is trying to get some sleep, she rolls over to see Parkman playing with a tape measure.

Niki: Where the hell did you get that?

Matt: I always carry a tape measure.

Niki: Okay…..weirdo……

Matt: You make fun of me now….but with this handy device I got me a _cool set of keys_.

Niki: Matt! Those might be the keys to the cages. Hand it over!

Matt: Really? Let me try….

Niki rolls her eyes, as Matt lights up happily like a Christmas Goose….

Niki: _A WHAT?!_

Matt: Niki! Good News! The key works!

Niki: That's good.

Matt: The bad news is I broke the key getting my cage open…

Niki: _YOU ROYAL DUMB-ASS!_

Matt: Don't worry, I'll get help!

Niki: Parkman, don't leave me here…..

Matt: Don't worry….I will save us….._Heroes do that after all_. Just wait right there….

Matt runs out of the room and turns the corner, running into Jessica. She immediately picks him up and hurls him out the window.

Matt: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Meanwhile, back in the car, on the way to Florida. (Driving from New York, _why not take a plane?)_….

Mohinder (singing): _My bologna has a first name…_

Elle (singing): _It's O-S-C-A-R!_

Mohinder (singing): _My bologna has a second name…_

Elle (singing): _It's N-O-A-H Bennett!_

Noah: GRRRRRR!!!!

Noah is coming up to a bridge, which the sign reads:

'_Dangerous Bridge Ahead. If you want to shut up your annoying passengers. NOWS YOUR CHANCE!'_

Noah: Hmm……

_Matt Parkman  
Alt-World  
Falling Down to his doom, Wild-E-Coyote style._

Matt: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

He lands on Peter.

Peter: URK!

Matt: Peter! You broke my fall!....You're my hero!

Peter: _I can't feel my toes!_

Matt: We have to get back up there and save Niki! Jessica is her alt-person, and she's dangerous…..

Nathan: You probably couldn't tell since you just got thrown out a window….

Matt: No, if she wasn't there I probably would've jumped out the window.

Meanwhile, Jessica is on her earpiece.

Jessica: Yes, apparently we have company……go ahead and take care of them.

On the roof of the skyscraper, Alt-Mohinder is overlooking Peter and the others on the ground. He turns around and falls backwards off the building.

Hiro: What is that?

Nathan: _It's a bird_?

Ando: _It's a plane?_

Peter: _It's Catwoman!_

Nathan slaps him in the back of the head.

Peter: Ow…._my brain_….

Alt-Mohinder hits the pavement, his body turns into the consistency of liquid, splashing up into the air.

Nathan: Uhh…..

The liquid falls back onto the ground and slithers past the group, forming back into the shape of Alt-Mohinder, he draws two UZI's and stars unloading bullets.

Peter: CRAP!!!

Matt: I'm allergic to bullets!

Nathan: GET INSIDE! NOW!!!

The five of them scurry off into the building.

Inside the building, Alt-Elle is on the phone with Ryan.

Alt-Elle: Why do I need to bring her to you?

Daniel: I must speak with her….I have for her….._a proposition_.

Alt-Elle: She might be difficult to fight off……unless…..

Alt-Elle shape shifts as Matt and walks into the room.

Niki: There you are! Where the hell did you go?

Matt(Alt-Elle): Oh…..I just….made sure the coast was clear.

Niki: And what about Jessica?

Matt(Alt-Elle): Don't worry about her…..I took care of it.

She lets Niki out of the cage.

Niki: _You_……took care of Jessica? _All by yourself_?

Matt(Alt-Elle) Sure did……Now, come with me _my love! _We shall escape this place together….

Niki: …….suuuure……_lead the way_.

Matt(Alt-Elle) turns around and starts to walk away. Niki bashes her over the head with a pipe, she returns to her regular form.

Niki: Oh…._that was a shape shifter?_......Just kidding…..wait…._who the hell am I talking to?_

Nathan is clicking on the button for the elevator.

Nathan: So we're powerless in the alt-world….how do we plan on dealing with him.

Peter: _Reverse-Psychology_.

Nathan: What?

Peter: We'll be like….'_Fine, take over the world, see if we care'_…..and then…

Nathan: Uh….and he'll do it…..which is why were here……to stop him……idiot.

Peter: Okay…..Plan C.

The doors open to reveal Jessica with a Rocket Launcher.

Peter: _Crappus Maximus! Can't you people leave us alone_?

Nathan: Stairs…._STAIRS!_

They run to the stairs and start fleeing up the steps as the exit door to the floor gets blown off. Jessica starts to pursue them .

The car arrives at the Bayview Memorial Hospital in Florida. Noah gets out of the car and stretches.

Noah: What a long and painful ride.

Elle: We sure did get here quickly.

Noah: _This isn't '24'. We can go wherever we want in an episode without the restrictions of real time_….

The screen shrinks down into a box…..3:44:12 pm

Noah is standing in the parking lot

Jessica is walking down a hall in the Alt-World Building

Peter, Nathan, Hiro and Ando are running up the stairs

Sandra and Mr. Muggles are participating in a talent show!

Noah: Ugh….

They walk inside…

Receptionist: Welcome to The Bayview Memorial….I'm Kylie.

Elle: Hello, Kylie. I'm Elle.

Kylie: What a pretty name.

Elle: Thanks….I know..

Noah: _ANYWAY_……We need to find a patient here by the name of Daniel Ryan.

Kylie: He's not here.

Noah: Uh…..It's probably unlikely that you know that status of every patient in the hospital off the top of your head….you should probably check the computer.

Kylie: He's not here.

Noah: Uh….huh…..Can you at least…..humor me and check?

Kylie: No…..he's not here.

Noah: Ok……

Noah turns to Mohinder.

Noah: This will have to require a plan with more tact….

Noah: OMG! _Look! They're having a sale on shoes!_

Kylie and Elle: _SHOES!?_

They run off.

Noah: Ugh….I can't believe I said that…._I feel so dirty_…..

Mohinder hops on the computer and searches the database.

Noah: Find anything?

Mohinder: Nothing on a name search….but there is a restricted area on level 23.

Noah: Let's go.

Back in Alt-World. Peter and the others are running down a hallway, they come across Angela's cell.

Peter: Mom!

Angela: Where have you two been?

Nathan: It's a long story.

Peter: Mom, grab my hand. I'll send you back.

Nathan: You can't use your powers here.

Peter: I can still teleport between worlds.

Nathan: Oh nice, that would've came in handy while we were being chased by _Rocket Launcher Sally back there!_

Peter: Hey, you never know, if we went back, I may risk the chance of losing the power to come back.

Nathan: Wow….for once you actually make a good point.

Peter: See?! I told you they should rename the show…

Nathan: _No they shouldn't! _Just send mom home already!

Angela grabs a hold of Peter's hand and disappears.

Peter: Okay, enough of that.

Ando: Uh guys….It's Jessica.

Nathan: We have to hurry.

They don't get too far before running into Alt-Mohinder.

Hiro: EEK!

Alt-Mohinder: You all are going to have to come with me.

Matt: I have an idea.

Matt takes his shoe off and lobs it at Alt-Mohinder. His body collapses into liquid. Without missing a beat, Matt pulls out a paper towel and soaks up the liquid on the floor.

Nathan: WHAT?!

Matt: We're saved! Thanks to _The Quilted Thicker Picker Upper: Bounty Quilted Sheets!_

Hiro: That's amazing!

Peter: I'm impressed.

Nathan: And it only took one sheet?

Matt: Yup! Nothing cleans up messes better.

Ando: I'm going to buy me some right now.

Nathan: Okay, we can start running.

They take off while Matt tosses the paper towel in the trash can.

Noah and Mohinder are walking down a hallway on the 23rd floor. Elle catches up with them.

Elle: You liar! There weren't any shoes!

Noah: It's the only way we can do this.

Mohinder: The restricted area is locked off.

Noah: _DUH! It's restricted!_

Elle: Leave that to me.

Elle bangs on the door.

Elle: LET US IN!

Noah: Uh…..or you could fry it…..

Elle: Right, I can do that, huh?

Noah: -Sigh-….

Elle flicks her wrists and jolts the keypad with electricity goodness….

Elle: Done!

The doors open and in front of them is the real body of Daniel Ryan.

Mohinder: Okay, I'll take it over from here.

Back in Alt-World, Peter and The Others burst through the top floor, to find Niki holding a gun at Daniel Ryan.

Matt: Niki! You're alive!

Niki: No thanks to you.

Peter: We know what you're up to Ryan, and we can't let you go through with it…..because if we did _we would all be out of jobs!_

Niki cocks the gun.

Daniel: My awakening is upon us….

Nathan: Uh…in like, 3 years….

Daniel: And what are you going to do?....Kill me?......That would be foolish, since you would kill yourselves in the process.

Niki: …..

Peter: Should we…..in order to save the world?

Voice: No……but I will…..

Emerging from the shadows is none other than Sylar.

Peter: URGH! I hate this place….

Daniel: How did you get in here?

Sylar: Oh believe me….it wasn't easy you see, thanks to this shmuck…

Peter: He's talking about me.

Nathan: Duh….

Sylar: I was banished to a remote island in the middle of the sea. Luckily I was able to escape with a raft leaving behind all my friends. Luckily, they weren't actually my friends so I couldn't care less. I was able to get here and was starving, so I was able to get a job at the _Alt-IHOP_ so I could get some pancakes. Until I forget that I hated pancakes then had to seek employment at the local Alt-Waffle House.

Everyone: _GET ON WITH IT!_

Sylar: Then I got a waffle, killed everybody there, then found my way here. And now….Daniel Ryan….I'm going to kill you.

Daniel: Heh…..HA! HA! HA!.....(He reaches for the list)

Sylar: …..

Daniel: You stupid, stupid, fool…….

Peter: Hey! He may be stupid, and may be a fool. But he's certainly not a…..wait….hmm…

Daniel: I only had one weakness….that that was your alternate self……he unfortunately had the power to create whatever he wanted with his literature….and he made this list for me, with himself invulnerable to be eliminated when I was finished with him. And then he left Alt-World never to return….

Hiro: That's right! He said if he were to come back, his powers would be forfeit and….would be…..vulnerable to elimination…..

Sylar: So?

Daniel: And where is your Alternate now?

Sylar: I killed him…..

Daniel chuckles to himself as he grabs the list, Gabriel Gray's name fades from red ink to black.

Daniel: You absorbed his power…..and everything else with it…..bad move.

Sylar: Uh….

Daniel takes the pen and holds it up to Gabriel Gray's name.

Daniel: Sorry, Gabriel…..you've been eliminated.

As he's about to mark him off. The building shakes, Daniel accidentally drops the pen. Sylar tackles him.

Which at the same point of time, Mohinder is hooking up equipment to the real Daniel Ryan, which caused the world to shake.

Daniel: NO!.....They found my body….this can't be……

The building starts to shake again.

Nathan: Pete, I think we need to get out of here.

Peter: I'm trying to use my power….but it's not working.

Niki: Oh nice!

Matt: Oh man, I'm going to die in here. _My magic 8 ball was right!_

Peter clenches really hard, and one by one everyone starts to disappear. One of the guards show up.

Daniel: Where the hell have you been!? SHOOT THEM!

Almost everyone is gone except for Peter, Sylar, and Ryan. The guard shoots Peter, who falls to the ground.

Peter: Owie…..must…..get……_Rainbow Brite Band-Aid_……..oh crap….all I have is G.I Joe…..well….I guess this will do…….

Daniel: This……THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!! ARRRRRGH!!!!

Sylar: What a whine-o.

Peter: More like a _whine-oceros_.

Sylar: Good one.

Peter: High Five! Score one for Peter!

Sylar: No….

Peter: Aw…..

Suddenly, the floor collapses underneath then. Peter, Sylar, and Daniel Ryan plummet through the floors below…….

Back in the real world.

Mohinder: It's working….hopefully I can collect his mental data and pinpoint where everyone's location is in his world. I might be able to get them out of there without harm and shut down Daniel's world….returning him to a regular coma state.

Noah: Whatever, just do it…..

They hear a gun click.

Voice: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Elle: And whose going to stop us…..oohhhh….

Before them stands the Alternate version of Thomas Fox, Daniel's biological father.

Mohinder: Oh bugger……

Noah: …..Yeah, pretty much.

_To Be Continued_…..

Next Time: The Final Chapter of the Heroes Parody Project…….

_Who will live?_

Matt: OOH! Me! Pick Me!

_Who will die?_

Matt: Uh……

_Will the heroes stop the Alternate World from rising?_

Doctors: There's something wrong! He's waking up prematurely.

Niki stares out the window, the sky starts to be covered slowly in red.

Niki: It's happening….

_Will Sandra and Mr. Muggles win the Talent Competition?_

Sandra: We sure hope so!

_Will Peter save the future?_

Hiro: Everything is going to way it's supposed to, but time is falling apart. We have to go back and make sure everything happens the way history made it….or the world will be changed in ways you can't imagine.

Peter is on the street, several weeks ago, a school bus is headed towards Claire. The day she wanted to be in the _Prissy Girl Razor Commercial_.

Hiro: We have to make sure he hits her.

Peter: Leave that to me….

_The Final Chapter Of The 'Season' of The Heroes Parody Project, coming soon!_.


	22. Void

The Heroes Parody Project

Chapter 22: Void

Warning: There are a few spoiler-ish moments, make sure you have some knowledge about the newest season of Heroes.

Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright of NBC. That means that all characters, events, and powers belong to them. Anything else has just been made up, though any similarities from any such names or events are completely coincidental.

Mohinder: _Previously on Heroes…_

-Recap-

After an attempt to save Micah and Molly (since that's all they ever do, go to camp or get kidnapped) Matt Parkman and Niki Sanders ended up in the alternative world. Peter, Nathan, Hiro, and Ando teleported into said alt-world to have a final confrontation with Daniel Ryan, the big baddie behind all this mess. Meanwhile, Molly, who was there with Matt and Niki for a short time after being held hostage by alt-Elle, ended up at the safe house with Mohinder and the others powerless. She somehow managed (with a long shot) to figure out where the real body of Daniel Ryan was at a hospital in Florida (how convenient), which Mohinder, Elle, and Noah take it upon themselves to travel there. Back in Alt-World, the final showdown with Ryan is about to commence when Sylar shows up, but everything starts to fall apart when Mohinder plugs up some equipment to try to wipe out his ability and save everyone in the process, but they don't get far when Alternate Thomas Fox, Daniel Ryan's biological father, shows up……

_Mohinder, Elle, Noah, and Alt-Thomas Fox  
Bayview Medical  
We need 2 CC's of interesting plot, STAT!_

Alt-Thomas Fox is holding a gun on Mohinder, Elle, and Noah, who are standing over the body of Daniel Ryan, his biological son. The creator of Alt-World, and also in a comatose state.

Noah: This is impossible….you're supposed to be dead…..unless…….

Alt-Fox: That's right…..I'm Thomas Fox's alternate self….

Noah: Well, that sucks out loud!

Alt-Fox: And I won't have any of you interfering with his plans…..so I'm only going to warn you once, stay away from my son!

Elle: NEVER!

Fox cocks his pistol.

Elle: Well, we can always talk about it….heh, heh……

Mohinder: This is absurd. Can't you see if Daniel Ryan continues this it can destroy the world?

Alt-Fox: I really don't care. Unhook the machine……now.

Noah shoots a look at Elle.

Elle: Right!......_Super Electro Charge Attack!_

Noah: What?

Elle fires away. The bolt of electricity hits Fox's left hand, traveling up through his arm, across his chest, and down his right arm. Fox flings the electricity at Noah, sending him flying into a medical cart.

Elle: _Oh tartar sauce!_

Mohinder: I think we may have a problem here……..

_Peter, Sylar, and Daniel Ryan  
Alt-World, Skyscraper  
On the top level, where all the final baddies are (if videogames have taught us anything)._

We see the towering building, scaling up the side of the building it reads:

_CHAPTER 22: VOID_

Inside, Peter finds himself alone with Sylar and Ryan. Matt, Niki, Nathan and Hiro have disappeared.

Peter: Aw, why am I still here? No fair!

Ryan: I hope you don't think you can stop me.

Sylar: Peter, I think we can over-power him. We just have to work together….

Peter: WHAT!? But you're a villain! We can't work together. That's like Superman and The Joker working together. It's just wrong…..WRONG I SAY!

Sylar: That's…..ugh…..why bother……

Ryan: Are you two done?

The building starts to shake violently, and the floor collapses from underneath them. From many floors below, a giant vortex is sucking up everything. Peter manages to grab onto a pillar to steady himself. Sylar clings to a nearby toilet while Ryan is holding onto a piece of the floor dangling over the vortex.

Peter: This is bad! Really bad!

Ryan: This….this can't be happening…..not now!

Sylar: This toilet sure is clean…..I'm impressed….

Peter: What have you done?

Ryan: The world…..my world was supposed to…..become reality. But something's wrong…..

Peter: Why? When was this supposed to happen?

Ryan: In three years….

Peter: WHAT!?

Ryan: Someone has interfered….and now we'll all die!

Peter: Not if I have something to say about it!

Sylar: Seriously, this is the cleanest toilet ever! Whoever has done this does beautiful work…..

Ryan: _It's a new toilet_….

Sylar: Ok, that makes sense…..

Peter (to Ryan): Grab my hand!

Sylar: Uh….Peter, he's the villain…..hell, _I'm the villain and I even know that!_

Peter: Villain or not, nobody deserves such a terrible fate.

Sylar: HELLO! You sealed me in ice and planted me in Antarctica.

Peter: Well, in comparison…._you've done a lot more messier things than this_.

Sylar: You're point?

Peter: Hurry, grab my hand!

Ryan: NO! You may have germs!

Peter: No! It's okay, I use _Purell Hand Lotion, _it kills over 99.9 percent of germs!

Sylar: Isn't that just 100 percent?

Peter: Don't worry, just grab my hand…but be careful…..I don't want to rip this shirt I just got from _Abercrombie and Fitch_.

Ryan: What?

Peter: Would you care for some _Dr. Pepper?_

Ryan: What are you talking about?!

Peter: That would go great with some _Goldfish Crackers…It's the snack that smiles back!_

Sylar: _WILL YOU STOP IT WITH THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT!?! UGH!_

Ryan slips off the ground and falls into the vortex. The toilet Sylar is hanging on to breaks off, sending him down.

Peter: Well, this looks like the end of my adventures…..I just hope the replace me with a younger, hip version of myself….

---_As The World Turns…Heroes!....Starring Bea Arthur as Peter Petrelli---_

Peter: WHAT!? That's so not cool!......

The pillar breaks off and Peter goes flying into the vortex.

_Matt, Niki, and Friends!  
Some random street  
Okay, that was vague…on the corner of 57__th__ and Acorn Avenue next to an abandoned Fire Station and The National Museum Of History and Art which used to be a Hooters Restaurant (really? Hmm)_

Nathan opens his eyes to find himself in the middle of the street. He rolls over to see the bodies of Matt, Niki, Hiro, and Ando…..he rolls back over to the side and stares up at the sky. Droplets of blood start to appear on his face.

Nathan: The hell?

He wipes it off and stares at the blood on his hand.

Nathan: Is that….blood?......

He manages to sit up; in front of him is a giant group of people running toward them, screaming.

Nathan: Well, this isn't something I wanted to wake up to…….well….I've woken up to worse….

---FLASHBACK---

Nathan walks into his living room to find it converted into a fast food restaurant.

Nathan: Uh…..

Peter runs up to him dressed like _Spongebob Squarepants_.

Peter: _Mr. Krabs! Plankton has just stolen the Krabby Patty Secret Formula again!_

Nathan: Peter….seriously……What the 'F'….man?

Peter: Well, I was getting out of bed and I broke my ankle and I got stuck watching the 89 hour Spongebob Marathon…..seriously bro…..that….show….is…..riveting….

Nathan: I have to be adopted…..I just have to….

---FIN---

Elsewhere…..Peter opens his eyes…..he is surrounded by nothing but white….

Peter: Where……where am I?

Peter gets up and walks around….

Peter: HELLO!? Is anybody here………man this endless white room things is kinda cliché……

Peter turns around……

Peter: Hello?.....Helllooooooo?

Peter keeps turning around to the point where he's practically spinning.

Peter: Somebody answer me!!! This is really annoying!!!!

He stops for a second.

Peter: Ok…..very dizzy……(falls down)

---_World Turns, Eclipse shines, all that good stuff…Heroes!---_

….._with Bea Arthur as Peter Petrelli._

Peter: HEY! I'M STILL IN THE SHOW, DAMMIT!

_Elle, Noah, Mohinder, and Alt-Fox  
Bayview Memorial Hospital  
On the menu for lunch: Indigestion Surprise…_

Alt-Fox has a gun pointed on Mohinder, Noah is unconscious, Elle is watching tv.

Elle: Oh…are we back? (Turns off the tv)

Alt-Fox: I'm not going to warn you again…..unplug the machine….now!

Mohinder: …..It looks like you've given me no choice…..

Mohinder rips out some cords and turns the machine off.

Alt-Fox: Now, get over to the wall, both of you.

Mohinder and Elle walk over and sit down.

Alt-Fox: Now, I just have to fix your mess…

Elle: Now what?

Mohinder: We have to think of something….

Elle: We can try reverse psychology….

Mohinder: I don't know….

Elle: -Ahem-….._Fine mister bad guy, destroy the world! See if we care!_

Alt-Fox: Thanks! _I will!_

Elle: Crap, that didn't work….

Mohinder: Ugh…..

Meanwhile, back on the street.

Matt: Ugggghh….what's going on?

Ando: How did we end up out here?

Nathan: I don't know but we're about to be trampled by a stampede!

Matt: I hate angry mobs…

Nathan: Move it!

Ando grabs Hiro, while Matt grabs Niki by the leg, dragging her face down in the ground.

The group seeks refuge in a back alley, the horde of people run past them.

Nathan: What the hell is going on?!

Matt: I think we're in the real world again…

Nathan: What happened to Peter?

Ando: Do you think he got left behind in the other world?

Nathan: If that's true, we have to find a way to get him out of there.

Ando: Maybe Dr. Suresh would know how?

Hiro and Niki regain consciousness.

Hiro: Ugh, where are we?

Niki: Oh man, my face hurts like hell…..

Peter is walking around the white room.

Peter: Hellooooo! Anybody here?......Man, this bites…..

Peter suddenly starts hearing a loud piercing sound.

_WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!_

Peter: ARRRGH!....ugh…..man….that noise……oh my ears…….I haven't heard anything this grueling since Nathan got me that _Celine Dion Christmas Hip Hop Album_.

Peter finds himself on a rooftop; he scrambles to his feet and looks to the building across from him, to find himself standing on the ledge.

Peter (across the street): I have to get my powers back somehow, and save the world. Since that's what I do best. And the best way for me to accomplish this is by starting from scratch on this very rooftop.

Peter: Strange….that's me….._or some other extremely handsome fellow_……

Peter jumps off the ledge and splats on the ground.

Peter: AHHH! _Did I actually do that?!_......That wasn't smart…

He spins around to see Niki lounging in a lawn chair drinking a Mojito.

Niki: Well? Aren't you going to call the ambulance?

Peter: Niki? Why are you here?

Niki: Just call an ambulance, you idiot!

Peter scrambles for his cell phone and makes the call.

---

Alt-Fox is on the phone with someone. Mohinder and Elle are now tied together.

Elle: Figures Bennett is still out……so worthless….

Mohinder: We have to think of something, quick!

Elle: Hey, I'm on the phone with Pizza Shack….I'm getting a personal pepperoni pizza….you want anything?

Mohinder: WHAT!? You managed to get to your phone and you dial pizza? You need to call for help!

Elle: Uh, duh! What do you think I'm doing….I'm calling for help AND getting us lunch…..it's called _multitasking._ Try it sometime….

Alt-Fox: Okay, I think I was able to get things up and running again.

Mohinder: Mr. Fox, please, you don't want to do this…….think about your son!

Alt-Fox: Uh, I am….this is why I'm doing this…..it's his idea.

Mohinder: Well, the family guilt trip didn't work either.

Alt-Fox: Unfortunately the awakening was occurring prematurely. But I'll need a little more help to get things fully operational. (He looks at Mohinder).

Mohinder: NEVER!

Alt-Fox holds up a gun to him.

Mohinder: The jig is up, Fox! There are no more bullets in that gun….

Alt-Fox: There's not?

Mohinder: Nope! Two were fired at the guards, two in the ceiling, one at Elle and one at myself. That's 2 plus 2 plus 1 plus 1.

Alt-Fox: No….I only fired 1 at the guards. That's 1 plus 2 plus 1 plus 1. Not 2 plus 2 plus 1 plus 1.

Elle: Actually, the ceiling only got one bullet. And Noah got one. So that's actually 2 plus 1 plus 1 plus 1 plus 1.

Alt-Fox: NO! I didn't shoot Bennett! So it's not 2 plus 1 plus 1 plus 1 plus 1. It's 1 plus 1 plus 2 plus 1…..plus……2?.......HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!....._I didn't even fire this gun!_

Mohinder: EEP!

Elle: So I'm going to assume it's about to be _3 plus 3_.

Alt-Fox: That's right!

Elle: UGH! Good going, Mohinder! _I told you math was going to get us killed one of these days._

Alt-Fox aims his gun…..

Ryan: F……f….father?

Fox turns around to see his son awaken….

Alt-Fox: Daniel?.....What?.....Why are you awake? You weren't supposed to return until 11/11/11…..

Elle: WHA!? _Three years?_ Isn't that a little too long to carry out a villainous plan….I mean sheesh….

Ryan: The world……..the world……..is gone…….(he passes out again)

Alt-Fox: Daniel!.......Daniel……(to Mohinder) You!....Fix this now…..

Mohinder: Geez…….

_Claire Bennett  
The Safe House  
Just finished an intense game of Apples To Apples with Micah, Molly, and The Haitian._

Claire (staring out the window): Something's wrong…..

Micah: Huh?

Claire: There are people running around in the streets.

Micah also looks outside.

Micah: It's raining….

He holds his hand out and looks at it, finding it covered in blood.

Micah: Okay, I wasn't expecting that….

He turns around to find Hiro has returned with Ando, Nathan, Matt and Niki.

Micah: Mom! You're okay!

Niki: Yes, no thanks to some moron who _was dragging my face on the pavement_.

Matt: Well fine…..this is the thanks I get for being helpful….

Claire: Where you guys?

Nathan: Yes….in that weird ass alternative world place…..we think Peter's still in there.

Matt: Maybe we can find him using Molly.

Molly: You can't….my ability isn't as strong as it used to be.

Nathan: What are you talking about?

Molly: I was there for a short time, in the other world. A man who looked like Mohinder tied me up to this device….and the next thing I knew, I was back here. I thought I lost my power but I was able to find out where Mr. Ryan's real body was…..but I don't even think I knew how to do that…..I don't know when or if I can look for anybody again.

Nathan: So….I'm assuming that's where Mohinder is now?

Claire: Yeah, him, my dad, and Elle went to some hospital in Florida.

Nathan: Florida?

Hiro: We must go there and stop Daniel Ryan once and for all…..

Nathan: Yeah, _since that worked out so well last time_….

Hiro takes Nathan and Matt and teleports.

Elsewhere, Peter finds himself on the street. He sees Claire, skipping home from school.

Peter: Hey! It's Claire!

Hiro comes up behind him and grabs his shoulder.

Peter: HIRO! What are you doing here?

Hiro: Peter. You have to listen to me, this is very important….

Peter (listening to headphones, singing): _Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer…_

Hiro: _HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?!?!?_

Peter: Ahhhh!

Hiro: Peter, you have to understand something. You are experiencing a horrible rift in time. The events of the past few months are replaying again. It is imperative that you piece together history as it originally was….or the consequences will be dire….

Peter: That's all fine and good….but how am I supposed to know what happened?

Hiro: Don't worry; we'll be here to guide you….

Peter: How are you here?.....Did you survive the explosion thing in Alt-World….?

Hiro: I'm not really Hiro Nakamura in the flesh; I'm a _remnant of your memory_. Thoughts of people you know have been brought to life in a vision only you can see and hear.

Peter: So…..pretty much _an hallucination_?

Hiro: Well, simply put….yes.

Peter: YAY!......hmm….now that I think about it when Niki was sunbathing on the roof. _I figured that was too good to be true_….

Hiro: Peter, listen to me…..in a matter of moments Claire is going to run out into the street. You must…..at any cost, get that bus to run over her. You only have one shot at this…..

Peter: Leave it all to me…..

Peter teleports onto the bus and starts jumping around.

Peter: HEY EVERYBODY! Look at me! I'm making noise and stuff! WOO HOO!!!

Bus Driver: HEY! Knock it off there! This isn't a playground.

Peter: Go Peter! It's your birthday!.....WOO!!!

Bus Driver: Don't make me pull over buddy!

Claire is practically skipping home from school; everything is going pretty well for her. Right up to the point where she skips into oncoming traffic and comes head on with a bus. _WHAP!_

Bus Driver: Oh my god! I just killed that cheerleader! _I'm always doing that!_

The driver jumps out of the bus and runs to Claire's twisted, bloody body in the middle of the intersection. Peter steps out behind him and runs off.

Bus Driver: Girl! Are you okay!

Claire (getting up): Yeah…….uuuugh……I'm fine, just a scratch!

She pops her arm into place; the bus driver looks as if he's going to lose his lunch.

Claire: No worries. Gotta run!

Claire continues to skip away.

Bus Driver: Man, I'm going to get it now….

The bus driver sadly walks on the bus and resets his '_Days gone without running over Cheerleaders_' counter back to '0'.

Back at the hospital, someone knocks at the door.

Alt-Fox: Who the hell is that?!

Elle: Uh…..

He answers the door to find the Pizza man from Pizza Shack.

Alt-Fox: Who ordered Pizza?!

Elle: ME! I did!

Noah regains consciousness only to find himself tied up.

Noah: Of course….

Fox: There was a mistake! Go away!

He slams the door.

Elle: NOOO! Our lunch……oh and our freedom…..

Back in the crazy time rift, Peter is driving a car, with Mohinder in the passenger seat.

Peter: I'm going to grab a bite to eat.

Mohinder: Um…that's not a part of the plan.

Hiro and Ando arrive at Claire's place of employment…._The 'Good Burger Restaurant'_.

Ando: Uh…Hiro, are you sure this is where she works?

Hiro: That's the address the mother gave me. This has to be it.

Hiro spots Claire working the register through the window.

Hiro: Oooh! That's her! Come on!

They run inside as Claire gets back on her headset.

Claire (deadpan): _Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order_?

Peter: _Do you guys have Hamburgers?_

Claire: You must be joking….

Mohinder: Will you get a move on! We don't have all day…

Peter: Fine…..(He peels away, driving past Claire's _Prissy Girl Razor ad_)

Back at the safe house. Someone throws something through the window.

Claire: AHH!

Niki: What the?

Suddenly there's a pounding on the door.

Ando: It's a complete mass hysteria out there.

Haitian: We should make our way out the back and leave here.

They run out the back door and pile into a car. The Haitian slams on the gas and peels out of there.

Niki: This is nuts! There's blood falling from the sky, and everyone in town has gone psycho…..what gives?

Claire: Let's just hope Nathan, Hiro and Matt find Peter quickly.

Back in the hospital, Fox notices a peculiar beeping sound. Noah and Elle are now tied together.

Elle: So hungry….

Fox: What is that?!

Mohinder: There's a neurological disruption. I can't submit any more power to revive his mental state. It's too dangerous.

Fox: The only thing that's going to be in danger is _you_. Get it running.

Mohinder: If I supply any more power it will overload the hospital's energy supply. Every patient here on life support will die!

Elle: Not good.

Fox: If you don't do it now, _you'll die!_

Noah: Better do what he says, if he kills you he'll turn it on anyway.

Mohinder: Unless if I immediately unplug everything, the distortion of power will revert back to this machine and explode….and only the 5 of us will die.

Elle: _I don't like that idea_.

Mohinder: You will be dead, and so will your son. As will the rest of us….but it will be for a noble cause!

Noah: That's nice and all, but it will be pointless since another villain will _just show up next season!_

Elle: YEAH!

Mohinder: Unless……you give me the gun.

Elle: Oh right, Mohinder with a gun…..we're screwed.

Mohinder: No….all it will take is just 1 bullet. To Ryan's head. The power won't overload. The device won't detonate in this room; Ryan will be dead as well as all things Alternative….including you.

Fox: WOW! I'm convinced, let me hand you the gun right now.

Mohinder: Really?

Fox: NO YOU MORON!!!

Mohinder: Oh…..

Elle: Yeah, but wouldn't that be funny if he did.

Noah: He would rank up there in the Top 3 stupidest villains ever.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Elle: What's happening?

Mohinder: The power! It's starting to destabilize…

Fox: What does that mean?

Mohinder: We only have 60 seconds…..

Elle: Until what?

Mohinder: The power will revert and reawaken him…..a massive rift in space and time will be too much for the world to endure when both realities collide….._everybody on earth will die_.

Noah: Oh for the love of pancakes!

Fox: So who is it going to be……The world…….me and my son……this hospital……or you, Dr. Suresh?

Elle: My vote is for the bad guys!

Fox: SHUT UP!

Mohinder: Well….if I do nothing….

Noah: 30 seconds….

Fox: The world will end, and everybody will die. But I won't let that happen since in a matter or seconds I will kill you.

Mohinder: You won't give me the gun and let the good guys win….

Fox: No.

Mohinder: I can do what you want to kill everybody on life support in the hospital……or refuse, I end up dying and you just do it anyway.

Fox: Right.

Mohinder: ……

Fox: No point of making your death futile….right? Flip the switch.

Mohinder: ……

Noah: 10 seconds!!!

Mohinder: …..

Fox: ……

Elle: ……man, so hungry….

Noah: ……

Fox: ……Mohinder……

Mohinder: …….urgh……

Meanwhile…..

Elle: _MEANWHILE!?_ How can you switch scenes, there's only like 2 seconds left before we all die! This isn't a soap opera…..

MEANWHILE….

Elle: Ugh….

Peter (dressed up like a secretary): You must be joking me.

Claire: Nope.

They are both standing in front of _Sarah McGregor's Law Firm, McGregor & Wells._

Claire: You will be starting today as Sarah's secretary. Now get in there and make sure the bad guy gets in her office before Sarah goes to lunch.

Peter waddles in.

Peter: Oh man, major wedgie.

Claire: Hurry up!

Peter's hallucination of Claire disappears. Meanwhile, Peter and the gang show up.

Niki: Hey….how did you know to come here?

Peter: Well, her flight landed and it's the middle of the day. I thought maybe she went back to work.

Mohinder: Let's see if she's actually here first.

Niki: But she was falling in the picture. Do you think she fell from this building?

Peter: Possibly. You two wait out here. Mohinder and I will go up.

Upstairs, Peter (as Sarah's secretary) calls in from her intercom.

Peter (as the secretary): Mrs. McGregor, you have someone here to see you.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital…

Elle: With only seconds to spare….if this were _24 we'd be dead already!_

Fox: What's it going to be, Suresh?

Mohinder reaches for the switch.

….00:00:03…….00:00:02…….00:00:01……………

Everything freezes……

Hiro busts open the doors; Nathan and Matt are standing behind him, frozen.

Hiro: Oh….whoops……

Hiro walks over and unfreezes the two of them.

Nathan: What the hell is going on here?

Matt tries to read the minds of several people….

Matt: Apparently……this man….

Hiro: That's Thomas Fox! I thought he was dead!

Nathan: Could be his alternate…..

Matt: Daniel Ryan has…..pre-awoken….I think……and bad crap is starting to happen here.

Nathan: Which would explain why the sky is falling…..or well….bleeding…..which I still don't get….very creepy.

Matt: Fox is trying to get Mohinder to restore his mental state since the alt-world collapsed.

Nathan: That's probably how we all got out, but that doesn't explain what happened to Peter.

Matt: Noah is nervous about running out of time for something……and Elle…..she's very hungry.

Hiro: Running out of time? Is there a bomb in here?

Matt: No…..(reading Mohinder's mind)…….Apparently something got disrupted and if Mohinder….didn't do anything the world would end. That must be this contraption.

Nathan: So, what first?

Hiro: I know………Hold on….

As Noah is still frozen, looking at his watch….the second hand on the watch starts sliding backwards, resetting at one minute ago. Time resumes.

Mohinder: We only have 60 seconds….huh!?

Elle: Hey! It's Hiro and crew!

Fox: What the?

Nathan punches Fox in the face as he goes down. Matt unties Elle and Noah.

Nathan: What's going on here?

Mohinder: Man, I'm glad you guys showed up.

Hiro: What's going to happen now?

Mohinder: The damage has already been done, I can't reverse the process.

Nathan: What?

Mohinder: I was using my machine to kill off Daniel Ryan's brain waves, his ability to conjure the alternate world. But we ran into some trouble and now all we can do is just well…..

Nathan: What? Kill him?

Mohinder: Yes….this would send the alternatives with him and that would be the end of that.

Nathan: But what about Peter?

Mohinder: If he didn't get out then…..he would end up going to.

Nathan: So what now?

Mohinder: We're back at square one. If I don't kill him now, the world will end!

Elle: Again with the world…..

Nathan: But there's a possibly that Peter could die in the process….there has to be another way.

Mohinder: Yes. But we don't have a choice, we have to do this now…..

Nathan: Either Peter or The World….well, you're kinda twisting my arm here……

Mohinder: I have to do this, I'm sorry……

Mohinder reaches down and grabs the gun from Fox's hand.

Meanwhile, Peter ends up back in the endless white room. Gasping for air.

Peter: MAN! That took forever. _And I thought I would never have to re-live those plot lines again_….OKAY! Mysterious powers that have me here! I've revisited enough previous moments through time! I would like to go home now please……I've let Claire get hit by a bus, helped detonate the bomb that sent the train car with Noah and Elle on it plunging into the river, filled up the gas tanks to everybody's cars so they wouldn't run out of gas, and even supplied medical attention to Molly when Matt carelessly kept injuring her in some sort for the first _16 chapters_, WHY AM I HERE!? WHAT IS THIS ALL FOR!? SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!

Peter stops to hear a slow clapping sound; he turns around to see _Isaac Mendez slowly applauding him_.

Isaac: Hello, Peter.

Peter: Huh?.....

Isaac: I'm sure you remember me, don't you.

Peter: Do I ever! I'd recognize you anywhere! I can't believe I'm finally meeting _Kevin Federline!_ I'm totally star struck!

Isaac: WHAT?!

Peter: Will you sign this picture of me?

Isaac (gritting his teeth): I'm not Kevin Federline you nit wit….I don't even look like him….

Peter: OH……HOLY CRAP….Isaac?! Is that you?

Isaac: Yes…..and we have a lot to discuss….

Peter: Um…..are you another hallucination?

Isaac: I wouldn't call it that….I'm a remnant of your memory….you see your brain is in a very fragile state right now…….

Peter: What's with all the back tracking, what was the point in all that?

Isaac: The space time continuum experienced a horrible rift, you had to go back and put some pieces back in the puzzle so to speak…..in order for the present to maintain it's balance…even though what you did was minor…..every little effort counts.

Peter: That….sort of answers my question….I think.

Isaac: You just had to repair history for the past couple of months, but history beyond that is in far greater peril…..you're work is far from over.

Peter: Oh man….

Isaac: Come with me….I'll show you where you have to go next…..

Peter: Man, this is worse than _Quantum Leap_.

Isaac: Shut up.

Peter: So, just that we're clear….you're still dead, right?

Isaac: I said shut up?

Peter: And you still haven't signed my picture….

Isaac: Why aren't you shutting up?

Peter: Well, why we're walking, we can listen to _this new album my bro Nathan got me…_

Celine Dion: _Yo! Merry Christmas! Jingle Bells! Chicka, Chicka, Wah, Wah, Chicka!_

Isaac: What the?!

A car pulls up to The Bennett home. Sandra opens the door to find Claire, The Haitian, and the others.

Sandra: Claire! You're back! And just in time for dinner…..oh and you brought guests….I need one of you to walk Mr. Muggles.

Everyone says '_Not it'_ except for Niki.

Niki: Ah hell….

Claire looks up at the sky, which the blood is starting to fade away, people on the street start returning to normal.

Claire: ………

Meanwhile, Noah, Elle, Mohinder, Nathan, Hiro, and Matt are walking out of the hospital.

Noah: I just got off the phone with Sandra; everyone is waiting at our house.

Elle: Well, so that's it? All we had to do was put a bullet in the head of a man in a coma….sounds pretty cheap.

Mohinder: Yeah…..it wasn't supposed to be this way though.

Nathan: We just need to try to get Molly's ability back so she can find Peter. I know he's still alive somewhere….

Mohinder: Yeah…..if he managed to escape the other world.

Matt: So what about our alternative selves..?

Mohinder: We don't have to worry about them anymore, anybody that is an alternative should instantly disappear.

Elle: Works for me.

Noah: I think we should get the hell out of here, go home, and eat some of Sandra's famous burnt roast…..

Matt: I love burnt roast….

They start to walk home, and they lived happily ever after. THE END….

Elle: WHAT!? Walking from Florida to New York, are you nuts!?

Meanwhile….in the hospital, a janitor is sweeping up in the hallway….._Thomas Fox stumbles out into the hallway_. He looks around…..

Fox: Heh……idiots…..

He walks down the hallway, making his way out of the hospital.

---_END OF VOLUME 3---_

_---Volume 4: Remnants---_

A man is looking at a map of the world on a giant screen; the man turns out to be _Sylar_.

Sylar: Okay, Bravo Team…..what's your position?

Voice: We are in position, and we have the President's location, ready to storm the White House on your command.

Sylar: Go…

A door explodes behind Sylar, who spins around to find Peter, Claire, Matt, Nathan, and Niki group up….._wearing tights_.

Peter: Okay, Sylar…The jig is up! Your villainous days are numbered.

Claire: What the hell is up with this get-up?

Peter: Yeah, I'm having some major wedgie issues going on…

Sylar (on the intercom): Hold your position…..I have to exterminate some Heroes……

Sylar pulls out a sword and faces the group. The gang pulls out weapons of their own…..Sylar charges toward the group, the vision is seen through Peter's eyes as he is in a trance, and hooked up to different machines. Someone in a scientist suit is writing down something as one by one, different people are hooked up to the same machines. A guard walks up and closes a warehouse door in the middle of nowhere……

---

Crazy Long Author's Note: _Yay, another Author's Note. Man, I can't believe I've been writing this for a year (with way to many hiatuses, the four month one was a little too much, technically this season should have been finished a looooong time ago). Anyway, many, many thanks for people who have been reading my silly story. I am so grateful for all the really positive reviews (I know I've said this before) and IMO I probably could've ended Volume 3 a bit better (some things didn't really pan out like I'd want them to) but with everything that's been going on I just want to focus on Volume 4 (lol I know I seem to do that a lot whenever the end of a volume approaches I'm like 'It's time I end this one and start clean'), well the same thing applies, I don't like to stick with one arc for too long in case you haven't noticed. Anyway, work is underway for Heroes Parody Project 2 (along with some other projects I want to start on) which I will start putting online starting February 1__st__, (I want to shoot for premieres on Sundays, hopefully I can pull that off lol). Thanks again for reading._


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